Comments Wanted: Pants vs. Dress

Well, this is my personal opinion. I think a Biblical case can be made for women to wear dresses/skirts only based on modesty and having a very strict mindset on what, precisely women and men’s clothing is. A lot of people use that one verse that talks about women not dressing as a man as proof that it is the “only” Biblical way for women to dress. Unfortunately, that verse wasn’t talking about pants versus dresses. In fact, men wore “dresses” back then and women also wore “pants”.

What I believe it was speaking of is dressing so as to identify yourself as a man versus identifying yourself as a woman. And that’s why I believe it’s not a clear, constant, absolute Biblical concept that women wear dresses or skirts only and men wear only pants. Because the relevance of what dictates men’s wear and women’s wear is social, and if we REALLY are to take the verse literally, we’d be dressing a lot differently as would our boys. The point is, that verse is speaking from a culturally relevant point of view.

I’m not talking about the nonsense that “allows” us to reinterpret the Bible and make it say something it doesn’t. I’m talking about understanding the verse as it was contextually and culturally relevant. If you are going to interpret something literally, it must be true for all people at all times. But the defining garb of a man and of a woman is different and changes from age to age, culture to culture, people to people.

So, I believe that God leads some to choose dresses/skirts only but for whatever reason, not others. And it’s not because God is inconsistent and untrue to His own word (an impossibility anways). It’s because what defines the garb of a man and the garb of a woman is really in the eye and heart of the beholder, and the Bible did not give us a literal, specific absolute which we must cling to but rather an enduring and contextually relevant principle.

Traditionally in American culture, even the type and style of pants that a man wears are different than what a woman wears. And when I think of femininity, I don’t think carhartts pulled out from the men’s section. 🙂 God has not lead my family to be a dresses/skirts only household, but I am not opposed at all to dressing that way. I prefer skirts, actually. And who knows, He may lead us there in the future.

I see that there are other verses to balance. The point seems to be dressing as a woman, not to confuse or portray a wrong and false image by dressing like a man. We must also balance this against other verses, that command our dress to be modest and pleasing. In our quest to be feminine, we shouldn’t overly adorn ourselves or dress immodestly.

Just my 2 cents 😀

Oh, and I hope I was clear on this point…but I’m not trying to say there is NO basis to dress in dresses only. I was simply trying to draw a line between it being a Biblical absolute and it being a worthy and Biblically-supported concept.

I don’t think anyone in modern America thinks of men when they think of dresses or skirts (well…at least not the majority of people). I think dressing in dresses or skirts only or mostly is a nod to our femininity. It is something that women wear that uniquely defines them as such in our culture, and I believe that is very much a Biblical, godly concept in keeping with the previously mentioned verse and others concerning women and dress. 🙂 It’s a good thing, a pure and holy thing.

My husband loves the way I look in jeans 😉 but he also loves the way I look in dresses and skirts. So our family does not do dresses only, but that doesn’t mean I am unfeminine. I try to choose clothes that are flattering and modest and pretty. My two girls actually prefer dresses, and I think there is nothing sweeter than a little girl in a dress and bloomers. 😀

I don’t have a problem at all with wearing dresses. I choose pants mostly because it’s a lot easier for me to get on the floor to play with my little ones. I also don’t have a problem with ladies who wear dresses out of personal preferance. Like Mrs. T, I see no biblical bases for the case for dresses only. As long as we look like women and are modest in our dress then we are not outside God’s standard.

I think that this is a personal choice based on your interpretation of the Bible. If you look at all of the different Christian sects in the world today, you will see that each interprets the Bible differently, and the members of each believe that they are right.

I personally wear a dress or skirt to church and pants most other days. But I’m not going to look down on women who wear pants to church or women who wear dresses every day. I think it is wonderful that we all have the ability to choose and think things out for ourselves.

By the way, mrs. t, I really enjoyed your comment. This is obviously something you’ve really thought through.

I appreciate everyone’s thinking and sorting through this issue.

I agree totally with Jess, and have struggled in this area for some time.

While I do wear pants occasionally, I do feel differently, more feminine, in skirts. And it does set us apart in a culture that basically despises femininity.

I also desire my girls to love feminine dress and so I want to live an example of it before them.

Another interesting thing I have found…after wearing skirts/dresses most of the time, one day I wore jeans out in public. I can’t describe how self-conscious I felt, especially when I walked by a man. I could almost feel his eyes. I wonder if our idea of modesty is somewhat jaded, and we often can be stumbling blocks without any intention.

Understanding how sensitive some men are to visible stimulation could help us better make decisions about our wardrobe. I think we are so bombarded with pornography (half-dressed women, even at the check out stand), that we assume just being covered is modest.

I challenge myself and all of you to really assess our wardrobe. And ask our husbands to help us in this area.

One time I put on a pair of overalls–VERY modest, right? And my husband ask me to change (he’s probably not quite as conservative as I am about dress), because he explained that the bib of the overalls accentuated the “upper” part of my body, and looked a bit seductive.

I had no idea that a man might see that.

I know some would argue that pants naturally draw attention or “point” to a woman in such a way that creates wrong thoughts. I would say there is validity to that, depending on the garment.

And of course, I would say modesty is very much a heart issue. I’m sure there are women who wear dresses exclusively but have a wrong motive. And there are probably women who wear immodest garments who don’t intend to offend.

We need to be careful in both areas, asking the Lord to give us the right heart, and above all else, “loving our neighbor as ourselves”….neither abusing our freedoms or making the issue one of legalism.

While I agree that feminists may have had some influence in the increasing number of women wearing pants, I can’t “blame” them for it entirely. Our country is increasingly multi-cultural and globilization is playing it’s part.

In lots of other cultures women wear a type of pants. My husband preached an all-Chinese funeral this past weekend. Besides me there were, I think, TWO other Chinese women in skirts. All the other Chinese women, even the elderly ones wore slacks.

When I spent a summer in Pakistan we were not even ALLOWED to wear a dress. We had to wear the traditional pants and long tops of the culture.

Just a thought!

btw, I mostly wear skirts/dresses because I’m bowlegged. They hide my imperfections better! LOL I see no Biblical mandate for the wearing of skirts/dresses. The argument is cultural, I feel, and not Biblical.

Let me just say I’m SO grateful that your blog exists. I hope to have a large family, I don’t believe in birth control, and I am against feminism at my very core.
For the topic at hand, I’ve debated with myself and others for a very long time. I’ve chosen to wear dresses and skirts only, because of the Sprit’s conviction, because I feel they flatter me more, and so I can make certain I’m doing my part to protect the thoughts of my brothers in Christ. I want to be seen as feminine and demure – in submission to my husband.
I think a case would easily be made to say Biblically, women should not wear pants. In deuteronomy, it mentions for men not to dress in the likeness of a woman and vice versa. Though garments were similar, there were still portions of clothing that were specific to the genders. Same could apply today. Dresses are one of those things that identifies us as women.

Sorry, I have to laugh about the idea of women not dressing like men meaning only wearing dresses/skirts. Correct me if I’m wrong, but in the days of the Bible, did’t men and women dress pretty much alike by our cultural standards? Men and women both wore long tunics (I understand this on account of calls to “gird up” for work, battle etc. If they men’s tunics weren’t long, what was there gird up?). Men and women likely both wore belts of some sort (like girdle or “gird”), or did they not? And men and women both wore head coverings, at least until after the resurection, and that pertained to prayer, not everyday activity. Men and women both wore sandals. Seems kind of androgynous to me. So I agree with Mrs T and GT about the culural aspect. I personally prefer LONG skirts for the look and feel. Long skirts make me feel more distinctive, taller, prettier; they are cooler in the summer and you can really go to town layering underneath them in the winter. But these days I usually wear jeans for the day to day. I’ve found it to be more practical, and hubby far prefers it as a matter of taste. Remember, Hebrew women also pierced their ears and noses, but that would be considered indecent and worldly by many conservative Christians today (I like both!). It’s one of those issues that’s cultural. And with the “brother’s weakness/stumbling block” issue, it’s kind of like the wine issue in my opinion, though to a lesser degree. It’s a kindness and it’s gracious to dress to protect men’s thoughts, but isn’t to be made a rule across the board. Again, I’m refering to the exclusive use of skirts/dresses, not to the type of clothing. Obviously we’re not dress like harlots in any garb. And besides, with the occasional problem of “up-skirting”, I find slacks a bit more reassuring (seriously, am I the only woman who thinks about that? I may be paranoid). Thanks for your time!

Maybe this is more theological than we need to get here, but WHY do we want to avoid blending into society? (Not that I strive to keep to the latest fashions, I’m just asking the question!) When I go abroad I dress in the national dress of the people I’m serving. I see it as becoming all things to all people so that by any means I might win some. (I Corinthians 9:19-23) I wore a shalwar kamis in Pakistan and I covered my head with a dopatta. I wore a deel in Mongolia if it was a suitable occassion. If going by that principle, why not wear jeans in America?

Being a “peculiar people” does not necessarily have anything to do with fashion or apparrel.

Seems like this particular question has been approached two ways (and sometimes both ways by the same person). 1. Wearing a dress does not draw attention to oneself, helps a woman to be hidden and modest. 2. Wearing a dress helps one to stand out as “different.”

Which one is it? Or is it both?

I’m thinking it’s a matter of preference and culture. We can stretch a few Scriptures to try to make them say what fits our “picture” of a conservative Christian. But, when it comes down to it there isn’t any Scriptural mandate for doing so.

Daja, who usually wears dresses and skirts as a matter of preference.

I think there are much more important things happening in the world today to worry about such trivial things !!

To Anon. This subject is crucial in our culture, this current time. Some questions:

– In OUR CULTURE dresses are associated with ladies. ALWAYS. If a man IN OUR CULTURE wears a dress, would you think it normal?
– The Bible does state in Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.
– Why this scripture? Why does God want a woman to be a woman, and a man to be a man?
– Have you ever seen a person from behind and wondered if it is a male or female? How about from the front? I have. Often in fact. I don’t think this was a problem say 80 years ago. But we do have this problem in our time. Why?

Now, if dressing could be listed on a scale from 1 – 10, whereas 1 – 4, would be dressed as a man, 5 would be neutral, and 6 – 10 as a woman, (10 being ultimately feminine in clothes that would never be mistaken as that for a man), why is it that woman like to linger around the 5?

Should woman not dress in such a way that there is no confusion as to their gender?

If dressing in dresses,(and I stress again, IN OUR CULTURE) is this not pleasing in God’s sight?

Feminism and the reasons for woman starting to dress more neutral has not even been addressed, but if we continue in dressing gender neutral, there will be consequences for the generations to come. Do we really want our children to deal with the issues that we were supposed to deal with on our watch?

OK, enough of me.

Marita

I have been a “lurker” here for awhile, but I thought I’d add my 2 cents worth on this subject. I have been wearing only dresses/jumpers for over 6 years now ( I don’t wear skirts because my husband doesn’t like the way they look on me). Why did I change? There was no “one” reason for it. And, except for the commandment in the Bible that we dress ourselves with modestly ( 1 Timothy 2:9), I can’t say there was any Biblical reason for only wearing dresses.

As one commenter already said, “back then” both men and women wore long robes, not pants. The robes were cut differently, yes. And maybe the women’s robes were longer, I don’t know. But, for that passage that states “a man should dress as a man…”, there had to have been a difference in the clothes that they wore. And so there must be a difference in the clothes we wear today. Many people would state that the clothes are different and so, therefore, fulfill that commandment. For the most part, they would be correct. But would they still be correct for the commandment in 1 Timothy?

This is the “biggest” reason I changed from pants to dresses. I am not a small woman and even though I didn’t wear tight clothing, sleeveless tops, shorts above my knees or short skirts, I was till self-conscious about how I looked. Once I began to wear skirts more often, I realized that I was not thinking about how I looked and if my “tire” was covered or not (not to mention my backside). :0) I also realized that event though I didn’t like looking at myself in the mirror or liked how I looked (weight wise), there were men out there who did (my husband happens to be one of them). I didn’t want to be an unwilling stumbling block to someone else, be it man or woman. (That’s not to say that a woman is responsible for a man’s thoughts. Absolutely not. But she does have a responsibility to dress herself as modestly as she can, without compromising her femininity. I don’t think God wants us to all walk around in un-kept, ugly clothing.)

We have two daughters and two sons (with another appearing in about 6 weeks!). Dressing modestly is not only for me, it’s for the whole family. Since our eldest was 6 mths old (she is now almost 7), she has been in dresses (we do put the girls in “jumpsuits” when they are younger then 1. A dress for a young baby is not always very safe in the dead of winter and our girls do wear “snow pants” when playing in the snow.). My husband and our sons don’t wear shorts or sleeveless shirts. We believe that all believers should practice modesty, not just the girls/women.

*I do want to add that how we dress is not a salvation issue. A person can be just as much saved who wears a bikini as another person who wears a long, loose dress. And someone who is completely covered can be just as “lost” as the harlot on the street can appear to be. You can not point out a Christian just by the way they dress. You must look at their whole life; dress is just a part of the picture. And the Holy Spirit will lead and teach in the way that you need to go, in which ever direction He chooses.

i so agree mickey! i came to the same conclusions you did when studying the verses you mentioned.

I dis-like feminist greatly. Many of them are annoying, and I also dis-like and dis-agree with many christian women, they too are annoying. Wear whatever you wish. God shouldn’t have a say in what a person as an individual think is comfortable or attractive. Where in the bible did it say that women had to wear dresses? In the middle east which is wear the bible takes place, it is hot and it’s probobly more comfortable to wear lose clothing such as a skirt or dress.

Choosing to wear a dress or skirt all deepens on the person, not what god or anyone eles expects of someone.

God shouldn’t lead people into being someone there not. If you like dresses wear them and if you dont, then dont. Its not selfish. It’s who a person is.

Again I do not like feminist becasue many are winny and look for attention, but so are Christians.

Of priority – it is our inner thinking, our hearts which distinguish us as Christian women. However, Tami is conclusively right – we behave differently in dresses & skirts. We even FEEL different – isn’t that amazing in itself? Because we are even treated differently when dressed in the more feminine sense. We need to ask WHY?
In answer to this, no single belief can be imposed. Go back to the women in the time of Jesus Christ – they were TRUE women. Women’s lib is a gross mistake – it has brought about more conflict, false “dignity”, defiance of a woman’s true virtue – and a virtuous woman is absolutely recognised,gratified and respected by her husband & society even today. A virtuous woman recognises her sanctity and thus dresses accordingly. Don’t get me wrong please – I simply mean that to aligne with God’s expectations, we need to look at all – not some. At the end of the day, take advise – heed it as per this site – but it’s ALL that you do that counts in God’s eyes and in that respect – it is the heart and belief, the implementation of beliefs that count. Not pants or dress despite my own preferences as cited above. God Bless

Sheena,

I hardly ever wear dresses, because I can’t nurse in them, and I look like a cow if I’m pregnant 🙂 and I’m one of those two conditions an awful lot, so I just wear skirts and tops!

*MODEST IN DRESS ~ 1 Timothy 2:9 ~ (see: “Katastolē”) : dressing in long, flowing garments which cover everything from the hip to the entirety of the knee (as God attributes female nakedness as including any showing of the thigh (Isaiah 47:2-3), which includes the area from the hip to the bottom of the knee, and also instructs nakedness to be covered according to His standards, not to mankind’s), non-form fitting and discreet; feminine; bearing not any resemblance to a man’s garment, as God calls this not just a sin, but an abomination equivalent to homosexuality and bestiality (Deuteronomy 22:5) ~ [ {* ὡσαύτως [καὶ] γυναῖκας ἐν καταστολῇ κοσμίῳ μετὰ αἰδοῦς καὶ σωφροσύνης κοσμεῖν ἑαυτάς, μὴ ἐν πλέγμασιν καὶ χρυσίῳ ἢ μαργαρίταις ἢ ἱματισμῷ πολυτελεῖ,*} directly translated: {likewise [and] women in~(katastolē)~clothing proper with modestly and discretely adorn themselves, not in hair and gold or pearls or garments costly,} ]

*CHASTE ~ Titus 2:5 ~ morally and physically pure, giving herself only to her husband; dressing modestly as to not entice another man into the sin of lusting after what belongs to her husband (her body) for if she does tempt him, even unintentionally, and if he does give into temptation and sin, it is her sin as well, and dishonor to her husband (Luke 17:1-2)

http://blessedmomma05.blogspot.com/2009/11/ways-becoming-of-woman-and-daughter-of.html

I’ve always preferred dresses; used to refuse to wear pants even in winter (still do actually, I wear long skirts instead). When I was required to wear pants for school choir, though, I got many compliments; one boy even said I looked pretty, which hadn’t happened before 🙂

it is all in love

I’ve been wearing skirts and dresses for the last 4 years. I only wear pants to work if I have to. I love it. I feel more feminine, more in tune with my feminine nature. I also get treated better by both men and women generally although I do get some rude looks but only from other women (? feminism?) and sometimes other women ask me why I’m always in a skirt. I think women (maybe men too) think wearing skirts looks dressed up, but I’m often in a jean skirt and don’t try to be formal or show-off in any way. Sometimes the skirts you buy at the stores are designed for formal suits or dressing up for parties rather than something you would wear everyday. Anyone have any good suggestions for where to buy clothes?
I believe wearing feminine clothing just brings out their dignity, it dignifies a woman to wear clothes that pertain to her, accentuate what she is naturally. When I have to wear pants it feels grungy and masculine, and I can’t wait to get them off when I get home. Now that I’m a skirt wearer, I don’t think I could go back to pants!