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I’ve written a lot over the years about the importance of esteeming what Jesus esteemed; how we are not supposed to be chasing the world’s idea of fulfillment, but how fulfillment can be found in serving and “washing feet” the way He commanded us.

And much of that is proverbial language. I mean, we don’t really wash feet. It’s meant to remind us of the blessing and reward of serving others in humility.

But maybe, just maybe, actually washing feet can profoundly re-center us when we need it.

When my children were little and they got into an argument, I made them wash each other’s feet. The awkwardness alone was enough to make them forget about what they were arguing about. 🙂

But let me talk to you, mama, for a minute…we get frazzled, frustrated, impatient, irritable, with the hundreds of things we have going on and then that child does that thing, AGAIN, and “I have had it with you”….

Maybe that child is the one, today, whom God has placed in my life to teach me to serve. And just maybe, if I actually stopped what I’m doing, and washed that child’s feet, it would reset my mind and heart.

I’ve always thought about Jesus’s “do this in remembrance of me” as highly symbolic. And I think it is. But what if it’s both? What if the physical, humble act of bowing before your child, quietly, and just washing his feet is the most profound act of living out the gospel before him you could do?

Just today, I got really frustrated at one of my kiddos. I could see it on his face that he didn’t understand why I was so frustrated. (Remember, we’re mature adults; they’re not.)

And now I’m thinking, that maybe I will wash his feet tomorrow as I apologize for my impatience. And just maybe, he will feel the weight of my sincerity. And remember it. And connect it to our Savior, always extending grace to us for our sin.

A letter to my children.

(A post I wrote 4 years ago. 🙂 )

I sat here a little while then stood up to get coffee, paralyzed for the moment. I’m 9 months pregnant. With my eleventh child. And I’m, ahem, older. My back has to adjust to the change in my position from sitting to standing before I can walk, or my leg will collapse under me.

I’m heavy, I have random round ligament pains that make me think I’m dying, I hurt and I’m struggling with anemia, to exaggerate all the other things. People wonder why I would go through the physical hurdles of having another baby. (Sometimes even I wonder why!)

Of course anyone reading can surmise the obvious: it’s temporary, and compared to the horrendous trials other people face, my worst day is still a walk in the park.

But then there’s the reality of suffering, even if one knows it’s for a season. And pregnancy can cause real, difficult seasons in life that many simply choose to avoid.

To be transparent, I’ve endured other things in my life during this pregnancy that are far more difficult but they have helped me understand God’s heart behind allowing us to suffer, in whatever situation.

Is there actually good in suffering? If you are a Christian, you know the answer to that is “yes”, though that may be the biggest paradox in the human life.

The Clincher About Suffering

Suffering, the Bible says, brings about all sorts of good in our lives, if and when we are willing to let it. And that is the key. Nancy Leigh Demoss said, “We can choose to whine or we can choose to worship.” And it’s true, that choice makes all the difference in the world.

As I spend these last days in pain and suffering, also enduring the deeper trials of heartache life can bring, I can honestly say I see it differently than I once did. It’s more than just something to get through. It may just be that this will likely be my last baby at the age of 43. Or who knows: perhaps I’ve actually grown up a bit.

But we live in a culture that deplores suffering and because of that, can be critical of our very choices to not avoid it. “Why would you do that to yourself?”

But what if it’s more like allowing the Creator of the universe to have His way in my life, trusting in His mercy and grace, resting in His goodness and–here it is–when suffering comes along, and it will (“In this life, you will have trouble…”)

to rejoice,

be glad,

give thanks and

look for that pearl,

that lesson the Lord so desperately wants to teach me,

to surrender my heart to refinement,

to submit to the chisel of His love,

to be glad and enjoy this journey which, without suffering would be spiritually impotent.

That’s what I’ve learned this year and it has brought unspeakable peace to my heart. Why, you ask, another pregnancy with all its challenges?

Because it’s not the pregnancy. It’s the soul. The new life, the new thought of God, the new person with potential to impact the Kingdom for His glory, the one whose days were established before the foundation of the earth that I get the privilege to bring to life.

The suffering? An added benefit if we believe Jesus. Not something we pursue, but receive. Not something we hope for, but rejoice in when it comes.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” 2 Corinthians 4:17

Those verses about suffering sound like happy little Christian quips until we’re called on it. Do we believe the truth?

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-4

So whatever your season of suffering, rejoice. Surrender. Choose gratitude. Ask God for His refinement as well as His grace to endure it. You’re not just suffering in vain; He’s doing a good work in you.

Corona Virus. Scary, not scary, who knows….there are so many stories, so I’ve been in the middle this whole time. Like it’s real, and sometimes it’s super serious. We should be cautious, but not stop living. Kind of like we treat every other risk in life.

Corona hit our household about a month ago. My husband and one of my daughters both contracted Covid-19. There are also a number of people at our church who tested positive, where we apparently contracted it.

My summary:

Of the 8ish people in our community I know who got sick, most had fairly mild symptoms, slightly less than the flu. My husband was among those hit the hardest. He still says it was milder than the flu. Headache, fever, fatigue, some coughing. (And loss of taste, which most have said is the worst.  ) Two of our friends were severely immune compromised (one with Lupus and kidney transplant, and her husband with diabetes,) and they both had fairly mild cases.

This is how we treated it:

(Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional; I am merely sharing our story)

We treated it with a heavy dose of Vitamin C (approximately 2000 mg. every 2 hours), 10-20 mg of melatonin twice a day, L-Lysine, Oil of Oregano, and inhaling/nebulizing a 50/50 solution of 3% peroxide/water.

My husband was almost back to normal by day 8, with just mild fatigue. My 16 yr. old daughter had about 3 days of fatigue/fever and returned to normal after that.

None of the other 9 of us got it, and I continued sleeping in the same bed with my husband.

Of the other 8 or so we know who contracted it, (including the immune compromised) all had a pretty mild case, although a few were sick longer than 10 days.

Having experienced it up close and personal has given me more peace and with so much uncertainty and fear being circulated on social media and the news, I thought a personal experience might help others have some peace too. I have since had several other friends who have recovered from the virus without complications.

We quarantined for the recommended period of time (that’s the responsible thing and oh, also the responsible thing if you have a stomach virus, the flu, etc…which we’ve been saying for years) and while it’s not fun, corona has proven, for our family, to be little more than an inconvenience.

I know there is a small percentage of people for whom it will overtake. (And I’m so thankful those numbers are decreasing.) I have the deepest sympathies for those families. Just as I do when any tragedy overtakes someone. But I wanted to share our experience in the hopes that it would bring peace and encouragement to someone.

(Several doctors are having GREAT success treating their covid patients with budesonide (inhalant) as well as hydroxychloroquine. My Dr. actually called budesonide in for us, but we had seen great improvement from the peroxide so we didn’t have it filled because it’s a bit pricey. But I would certainly use it if someone was not improving.)

It is my personal opinion that the fear propagated by the media over this virus has been exaggerated at best. We live in a world where we take risks daily. The risk of getting a virus with such a high survival rate shouldn’t warrant shutting down businesses and preventing people from leading normal lives. I pray the panic will lessen as more people hear our stories.

I’d love to hear if your family has had experience with Corona.

In other news…

I’ve been working on a new business I’m launching September 1st–Cadeau Gift Box Company! I want to make giving special and unique gifts easy for people, so I’m curating a number of fabulous gift boxes for various occasions. Whether you want to just let someone know you’re thinking of them, or you want to send the perfect birthday gift, you’ll love the boxes we are putting together! So if you want to follow me and keep up with our grand opening, you can do so on

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/cadeaugiftboxco/

or on

Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/Cadeau-Gift-Box-Co-102633038217724/

I will be giving away a gift box right before we open so you’ll definitely want to get your name in for that!

There is an effort, in the secular world, to teach character apart from the Christian faith.

And I have 2 problems with that:

1. We can pretend that God has nothing to do with the principles of character and good behavior, but He has everything to do with it. Every character trait we point to has its roots in Scripture. Even our nation’s laws are based on the commandments of God. The entire essence of the Gospel is love which under-girds how we act–our character. So to try to separate God from a directive about behavior, is a lie.

2. Secondly, as Christians, we understand the danger of washing the outside of the cup without making sure the inside is clean. Our motivation for outward change must be driven by inward transformation. That’s our position as believers.

What is Character?

Character simply is how we act and respond to life when no one is looking. That means our character is who we really are–this isn’t about mere outward behavior. The British writer and politician Thomas Macauly (1800-1859) once said,

“The measure of a man’s character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out.”

So if it’s just a reputation or others opinion of us we’re shooting for, that doesn’t drive our decision in those moments when no one is looking. And real character is who we are in those moments.

AND YET… I think there’s another side to the coin: that character also has to do with forming good habits and practicing them. So no, we don’t want to focus on outward behavior and neglect the inner man, BUT…many traits have to do with forming good habits and practicing those throughout a lifetime.

There is such a thing as a person who loves Jesus deeply but has formed bad habits throughout his life, and that part of his character is lacking. So in some ways character is a reflection of the inner man, and in other ways it’s a formation of good habits over time.

Strong Christian character results from both human effort and divine intervention.

So there are many ways, as parents, that we can help help our children grow in character, especially when we start early.

We can’t save our children.

It is a given that we should be diligently praying for the salvation of our children, trusting God for it, and presenting the gospel to them regularly. We can’t save them, but we can give them the Word and trust God to save them.

But we have been given the directive to raise them from birth to love and obey God, trusting Him for their salvation. And as we trust Him to do that mysterious work, we look to passages like this for instruction in helping them learn how to add to their faith:

“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness….For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge;and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.” From 1 Peter

How do we help them build character?

1.  Model it. It’s true that more is caught than taught. To teach our children something that is inconsistent with the way we live will not only be ineffective, but could have disastrous consequences, even turning them away from the faith. We also need to realize we are teaching them all the time, even if not deliberately. A million ways we live is a living sermon to our children.

And for that reason, get on your knees, keep your sins quickly and humbly confessed before God and your family, stay in His Word because you can not be an effective disciple of His without an intimate knowledge of and communion with Him, put on humility over everything, and fear the Lord. That’s the best recipe for raising kids with character who love Him. Be transparent about your sins and confess them quickly.

2. Talk about what character is. It is not about our image, or making ourselves look good. And this is where it can really get ugly if we’re not careful. Character is about the second commandment. It’s an outward expression of love to our neighbors. So many opportunities present themselves during the day to point to character. Sibling strife, for example, needs to be addressed with more than “Please just stop it!” Which I have been guilty of. What is wrong with strife and what kind of character trait does the Bible encourage us to have when we’re dealing with conflict?

Take them to the Word of God to find out how to handle situations, and let that become such a habit that as they grow up, it becomes second nature for them to look to Scripture as their standard for how to live.

3. Read stories about men and women who have modeled godly character. Biographies of the men and women of faith are great places to start. Inspiration is a fantastic tool and keeping examples of those who have demonstrated Christ-like character in front of us is so important. Not just for our kids, but for us too.

Practical character

Now there’s a very practical side to all this that I haven’t spent much time on yet, and that is the part of character building that looks like picking up after yourself, carrying tasks through and being diligent, being helpful and seeing what needs to be done around you, you know, that sort of thing. It’s that side of the coin I talked about earlier with the formation and practice of good habits.

CM said: “Every day, every hour, the parents are either passively or actively forming those habits in their children upon which, more than upon anything else, future character and conduct depend.”

The most practical and  simplest way I’ve found to help children practice discipline and good habits is by laying out expectations clearly then establishing a consequence for not following through with them.

As an example, here is what our chore time looks like:

Each month everyone is assigned a new daily chore which is an area of the house (kitchen, library/bathroom, living room, etc.) in addition to keeping their rooms clean. Some time after chores, I go through and inspect them. If a child has been lazy or failed to do their chore, they get a check mark on our dry erase board. If they get 3 check marks in a week, they do not get to watch a movie on Friday night.

Of course the key to this is my diligence in inspecting. “You can’t expect what you don’t inspect.”

Add to this the power of praise, the reading of Proverbs, and emphasize the benefits, from God’s Word, of diligence and faithfulness.

2 Very Important Things

1.  If I’ve learned anything having 11 children, it is how vastly different each of them is–personalities, gifts, academic bents–all of it. If you have several children you know exactly what I mean. And so much of who our children are is inherent to their nature.

So as we teach and train them, we need to make the best use of their gifts and personalities and not force them into a mold that doesn’t fit. That doesn’t mean they get to be let off the hook from being patient if they’re naturally impatient, it just means that we need to have more understanding about their natural weaknesses, just have we have our weaknesses, and not get bent out of shape thinking it’s all our fault, just realize this is the sin nature against which we all fight.

2. You have a serious, enormous responsibility to train your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, which encompasses much of what we’re talking about today. BUT….hear me, you cannot believe that there is a formula for raising children and that if you are faithful to do ABC, it will guarantee they will turn out just how you planned. I believe that the Bible teaches that if you are faithful, generally speaking, your children will likely follow you in that faith and will grow up to be men and women of God. And to that end, we pour ourselves out. Faithfulness on our part is a non-option. But we have got to understand that God is sovereign and that our children might make bad choices even when we’ve done all we can do. We can’t be disillusioned by our children’s choices, blaming ourselves. God is the perfect parent and He has had prodigals since the beginning.

But I’m telling you, Satan wants to use it to tell you you’re a failure and cause you to be dismayed to the point that you feel like giving up on your other children.

That’s not our position, ladies. We are at war. You have an enemy who wants your children. And the very best way he can get to them is to discourage you. Discouragement is a bitter, powerful tool. Don’t let him. Fight with all that is in you. For the wayward child and for your other children. We just simply can’t give up. It’s not an option.

AND…don’t make having children who turn out well your idol. Of course we want them to turn out well. But that cannot be the goal. The goal is to love the Lord, walk faithfully, obey and trust Him,—really really trust him, no matter what. You will not give an answer for your children’s lives. You WILL give an answer for yours, and for your faithfulness in parenting the children He gives you.

So my prayer is that you are encouraged to take a long-term view of your role in helping shape your children into courageous men and women who reflect the character of Christ. Lean into the Lord on those days you feel exhausted. You do your part to be faithful and trust Him with the hearts of your children. Do you become weary in well doing; for in due time, you will reap if you do not faint.

I have 2 goals with this post: first one is to give your kids some useful, productive things to watch during summer and/or quarantine, and secondly, to inspire them (and maybe you) to be productive and consider starting their own business.

The video below is so exciting to watch! It’s a show that features several kids who became successful entrepreneurs and dives into some detail about how and why they did it. My kids are absolutely loving it!

One detail I wanted to highlight from the video is what sparked one young boy’s interest and launched him into starting several businesses. It was a simple, important thing his father did. He wanted to buy a Star Wars toy that cost $400. His father said he could. IF he paid for it. Because he was motivated, he got creative.

We have seen this in our own family many times. Our children know to get extra stuff that they want, they have to pay for it. This is a huge motivation for them to be creative. (Although sometimes that creativity only reaches to offering to do odd jobs around the house–but still, it’s an important life lesson.)

So sit down with your kiddos and watch this fascinating video and then be open to discussion about what their interests are. Even if it only leads to a hobby, there is so much to learn when you work to develop a product or business. The first two girls mentioned they only do half school days because they learn so much from their business. I bet! And to see more videos like this one, go to YouTube and search for “My Hustle Kids.”

So, this year has gone crazy and you’re thinking about homeschooling, but it scares you to death?

Take a deep breath–you’re not alone!

I remember when I first decided. I couldn’t believe I was actually going to take this leap into the unknown. I read, I listened, I worried, I second-guessed.

As a veteran home-school mom of 19 years, can I start by putting your mind at ease about a few things?

1. Social life. Your kids aren’t going to be weird if you decide to homeschool. (Some people even think that it’s a strange social experiment to require kids to sit in a room, in rows, with only people their own age, for 8 hours a day. That maybe that isn’t very “real life-like.”) The reality is that even if you homeschool, there are countless opportunities for your kids to be around other people and participate in other events–maybe even in more realistic settings, getting to interact with people of all ages and various walks of life.

2. “I’m not qualified.” Yes you are. Let’s talk for a minute: you had a baby once upon a time. That baby learned more in 5 years than he will learn in a lifetime, including a complicated language, important forms of psychology, physics, and lots of other important stuff, all without a trained teacher or even a formal curriculum! Do not estimate your child’s (continuing) ability to learn, explore and master what is needful.

Also, there has never been a better time to homeschool! The resources available are immeasurable! If you can simply provide resources and an environment conducive to exploration and questioning (easy to do in this day we live), you, my friend, are qualified to homeschool. Children learn best if they are NOT being spoon-fed information. Give them freedom to explore their interests, ask questions and find answers. That will be more valuable to them than the information they cram for a test and then forget 15 minutes later. (Remember your school days?)

3. How much does it cost? You can actually homeschool for free, or you can spend a lot. And there’s everywhere in between. Over the course of 19 years, we have spent very, very little simply because we don’t have to. There are free resources (library, online curriculum, thrift stores, etc.) and educating a person doesn’t have to be costly at all. But there are curriculum choices that are more expensive, if you’d rather not do the work of finding the cheaper resources. It’s all up to your personal preferences.

4. What about state requirements? Each state has different requirements and you can check your state’s requirement here.

Let me encourage you to relax about the prospect of homeschooling. We have all been conditioned to think that a school setting is the only way for a child to be educated, and while I so appreciate the efforts so many wonderful teachers make, it has been my experience that the classroom is really a less than ideal situation for children to learn. And since it can’t be summed up in once post, I am going to post some links below that explain some of my philosophy as well as the opinions of many others who have had first hand experience in the classroom.

I challenge you to read, learn and give yourself room to explore this new and very exciting thing called homeschooling!

How to Homeschool When You Think You Can’t

The Secret to Less Stress in Homeschooling (The 3 R’s)

Why Homeschooling Stresses You Out & Why it Totally Shouldn’t

What if Learning Isn’t Anything Like School?

How We Keep Our Children from Becoming Their Best Without Even Realizing it

Socialization (Homeschooling & Peers): I Do Not Think it Means What You Think it Means

Schooling Has Nothing to Do With Real Education–John Taylor Gatto Part 1

5 Things That Really Matter in Your Child’s Education 

The Magic of Copywork (And Why Doing Grammar Isn’t Necessary)

What Children Need to be Successful

This is a short, easy to read and VERY helpful book about relaxed homeschooling that will inspire and encourage you. Moms are writing me all the time to tell me how much it helped them in their homeschooling journey! Check out Think Outside the Classroom: A Relaxed Approach to Homeschooling

“This book changed our lives. I had no idea how I was squelching my children’s love of learning by trying to reproduce something that we already knew doesn’t work very well. Now they thrive and we’re all much happier!” -Sandra L.

Quarantine. Self-isolation. Lock down. These are some pretty unfun words. If you are stuck at home, it’s not easy to watch your children fall behind in their education – or to know when the uncertainty will end. You want to help them study but it’s not so straightforward when you don’t know the lesson plans or what they’re being taught.

Actually, it doesn’t have to be this way. There’s another way, one where you are in control of the outcome, and one that delivers real, proven results. (And is also lock down proof.) 

Which is why I’m so pleased to announce my friends at Infostack have prepared something special just for you – the Ultimate Homeschooling Super Stack.

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Inside you will find it to be absolutely packed with first-class easy-to-use training resources to kick start your homeschooling journey and change the way your children learn for the better.

>Click here to learn more<

This superb stack has been hand-curated to launch your homeschooling journey from scratch and propel you straight into a successful and fulfilling life of home education your family will love!

You’ll get all the resources you need including:

• 9 Educational ebooks ($164.85value): Explore a multitude of fresh new ideas, curriculum plans, and heartfelt encouragement from those who have learned the ropes and navigated every possible path and corridor. Jam-packed with tips and tricks to make your homeschooling life simpler and smoother in this extensive, uplifting collection of ebooks. Download them in mobi, epub and PDF and keep them forever.
  
• 5 Empowering e-courses ($365.90 value): Find your teaching rhythm and power up your curriculum with easy-to-use, enlightening courses to guide, inspire and motivate you, and streamline your home school into a first-class place to learn.
  
• Twelve months access to My Home School Grades ($484.54 value): The premier online planning, grading, and tracking program packed with  everything you need to homeschool and document the progress of your child from kindergarten to graduation.

It’s a $1,015.29 value for $49 if you grab it now!

Click on the link to see all the incredible, how-did-I-ever-live-without-this-before resources waiting for you.

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Individually, these courses and books have helped hundreds to thousands of people switch to home education, eased their minds with brilliant planners and course preparation materials, and encouraged them whenever they felt burdened or overwhelmed.

• Plan an exceptional course curriculum and stay on top no matter what curve balls life throws at you
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• Watch your kids get big results while having fun learning

There is just one thing:

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Kelly Crawford

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Today I have the privilege of sharing some of my personal realness at the blog, Baking Humble Pie, run by Bethany, a virtual friend of mine whom I met here, as she as read and commented over the years. As she recovers with her new baby, she has posted a fabulous series called, “I Don’t Do it All.” Because y’all, I really don’t. Hop over and say “hi!”