Category:

church/children’s ministry

The Power of Children in Worship at Church

by Kelly Crawford August 9, 2022

written by Kelly Crawford

The Power of Children in Worship at Church

Why Children Need to Be in Grown-Up Worship

“They’re distracting.” “Moms need a break.” “They can’t understand.”

Why Excluding Children from Worship is a Disservice

Sounds reasonable, but I believe with all my heart, children need to be smack dab in the middle of grown up worship, and we do them a great disservice to put them elsewhere.

Children learn almost everything by experience and observation. Yet we take the one, most important thing they will learn–the WORSHIP of God–and exclude them. When Jesus said, “Let the little children come” I think He really meant to Him. And where do we corporately go to Him? The worship service.

We sing rich, robust hymns that teach us theology (at least a few churches still do) while they sing Veggie Tales. We hear and read the transforming Word of God while they hear a watered down story. We imbibe the sacredness of being in the presence of a holy God and they eat cookies and play games. We lift up holy hands and they miss seeing the reverence we are called to exhibit because they are being distracted.

Is it any wonder our children grow up and crave to merely be entertained at church, if they even decide to stay at all?

Training Children to Sit Still During Services: A Worthy Effort

Does it take some work to train children to sit still during a 2 hour service? Sure it does. Work worthy of doing. Work that will prove peripheral benefits. When I had young children, sometimes I would sit in the foyer and practice there, in case they were noisy. It didn’t take very long of intentional training.

Learning from Children in Worship: The Value of Imitation

When the Psalmist says, “Out of the mouths of babes and infants, You have ordained praise” doesn’t that make us long to hear the utterings of babies and toddlers in our worship service? They need, and learn from us, but we need and learn from them!

To the rebuttal of “they can’t understand and need something on their level…” Think about how a child learns practically everything. Speech. Psychology. Physics. They learn by being immersed in the world, experiencing things they don’t understand, yet come to learn with remarkable accuracy. Don’t let us stunt their growth in the one place that matters most. We are called to make disciples. They learn by imitation. Consider how age-segregated worship affects the Body.

Immerse them in the beauty and depth of worship. It may be the most important thing we can do for our children.

For a fantastic resource if you want to learn more on this topic, try Incorporating Children in Worship: Mark of the Kingdom

August 9, 2022 13 comments

Being a Mom and Wife is Enough: A Word for the Burned Out Superwoman

by Kelly Crawford December 11, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

I assume many women feel the way this reader who wrote me feels, so I wanted to give a public answer to encourage other women in her shoes:

“What do you do when you are so weary, you feel like you can’t get through the day? I feel like I try to juggle the expectations of church ministry with that of my family, and it isn’t working. I’m tired, resentful, and bitter. I just want to be a mom and a wife. I feel like crying a lot these days. I try to tell myself it is okay to “just be a mom and a wife” but I feel like to I have to be superwoman as one of the female leaders of our church, where not many people do many things. I’ve recently given up being the coordinator of our church nursery (after doing it for over five years), but no one has stepped in to fill the role and I feel guilty (should I have stayed since no one stepped up? that’s what i keep thinking!). I homeschool (I have 5 children, 7 and under, including twins). that takes up so much time, there’s not much time for anything else. I get up early, stay up way too late, and am still just spinning my wheels. HELP! I read your blog almost daily for encouragement and thank you. I thought maybe you would have personal encouragement for where I find myself now. “

My initial response to a letter like this is, “I think you know why you feel overwhelmed, you just need the reassurance to do what your instincts tell you.”

But I also want to unpack that a little bit, because quite frankly, it discourages me that the church is often one of the most competing forces against the family, weakening it instead of strengthening it.

I don’t want to delve into to the pros and cons of church programs, but as much as I tried to avoid that, the connections just beg to be considered. There is a reason this reader, and many women feel guilty or compelled to overextend themselves. We have to solve that problem before we can adequately solve the question of “can I just be a wife and mother?”

Church programs are sometimes good, sometimes necessary and sometimes not at all and only create more problems. Sometimes they mimic what the state has done so well: taking over areas that belong to parents, though well-intentioned, making it easier for parents to abdicate responsibility and more difficult to see the harm in doing so.

Since the nursery was mentioned, walk with me through some thoughts:

Forget for a minute the typical nursery argument, “But what about visitors?” Because that question opens up a whole new subject that will find its own solutions when the body operates biblically!

For now, we’re assuming the church is a place where, like the early church, followers of Christ meet together for worship and fellowship.

What if the church was again simply a place of worship, rest and refreshment for the whole family?

What if families spent time with families in their homes, in a more organic environment where child-training tips were passed along and there wasn’t a need for a nursery?

What if because there wasn’t a nursery parents had no choice but to actually teach them to stay in service as they once did?

What if children were reunited into the body of Christ, truly demonstrating the oneness of which Scripture speaks? Soaking up the beauty and significance of fathers, mothers and children united in the most important event of the week?

And what if now we don’t have to elect nursery coordinators and workers (or make them feel guilty) so that they, too, can be a unified part of the body, resting on the Sabbath AND being refreshed for the upcoming tasks of the week?

Multiply this concept across other areas to see if it fits.

I said all that not to argue the case for a nursery, per se, but to see how often we can create problems in our attempts to fix them.

The answer to this reader’s question is simple:

She has accepted the diminished significance of the role of motherhood. She has bought into the idea that it’s not enough to raise warriors for Christ, it’s not enough to minister to “the least of these”, it’s not enough to walk alongside these people that are the very heritage of God and disciple them, it’s not enough to give her life for the family that is her first priority.

I told this dear woman to lay aside every possible extra activity in her life right now except for her duties at home. She is at the height of her calling, her hands are indeed full, and she is responsible first to her family. That is the best work she can do.

Does that mean she can’t minister in any other capacity? Certainly not! But she is free to guard her time and energy carefully, and not feel guilty about making commitments that may prove too taxing, but she feels she can’t relinquish. She is free to minister in a way that includes her family and allows her to work around them. (Raising children, helping a husband and hospitality are the three specific ministries the Bible emphasizes for women. A widow, in fact, was not to be considered for “the list” if she had neglected these duties.)

I feel so badly that she had to come to my blog and ask me, a mere stranger, to tell her the things she knows in her heart to be true.

Would you tell another mother today that she isn’t obligated to be a superwoman? Tell her that building her home is Kingdom work and it is adequate.

Get my powerful, life-changing devotional, When Motherhood Feels Too Hard if you need your batteries supercharged!

December 11, 2018 98 comments

christian living church/children's ministry

When Christians Should Judge One Another

by Kelly Crawford August 28, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

Wanna get someone really mad at you really fast? Judge. Say that something is a sin. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something that person is doing. We have never lived in a time more hostile than calling something wrong.

It’s the favorite line on social media: “Judge not.”

Consider just one example: abortion. There are campaigns to normalize murder because people do not want to be told they are wrong. About anything.

Making judgments is something all of us have to do consistently. When you get a ticket for speeding the police officer is judging your behavior and penalizing you for it. If you try to stop a man from beating up his wife, you are making a judgment that what he is doing is wrong and you are calling him out on it. You hope the thief is judged for breaking into your house. So by definition, we are slightly inconsistent when we pick and choose the actions we deem acceptable for judging. (For example: all the incidents I mentioned involve hurting another person. But yet, so does abortion. But if you try to make that connection, you will be thrown the “judge not” card swiftly and with hostility.)

But let me talk to Christians about Christians.

My friend shared her broken heart with me this week as she told the story of how she had gone, trembling and with great love, to a close (Christian) friend to confront her of a heinous, sexual sin in her life. She lost the friend who accused her of “judging.” (Dear Lord, please make me humble enough to see the love it takes for a friend to confront me over something that will destroy me!)

Scripture could not be more clear that we are responsible for judging within the church.

From 1 Corinthians:

“It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you…And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this?….Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast—as you really are.

I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked man from among you.”

Paul’s words cause the hair on our necks to stand up today. “But we aren’t to judge!” is our favorite phrase because it’s easy. Paul says, we ARE to judge. “But we all sin–we can’t judge!” Yes we do. But understanding sin as the Bible speaks of it is crucial. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. Yet the Bible commands us to “not sin.” Is that a contradiction?

No. Sin is to be abhorred by a child of God. And yet, none of us is without sin. The difference? It should hurt us (David describes even physical pain from unrepentant sin), it should grieve us, and we should do all we can to avoid it (“If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off.”) When we do sin, we repent quickly.

So to commit sin and hate it and repent of it is entirely different than to comfortably live in it and justify it. That difference must be distinguished in order for us to live in accordance with God’s Word.

We aren’t called to judge the church because we are sinless, but because having the spirit of His redeemed, we are commanded to hate sin and judge it.

And why then is it so important–this urging from Paul to the church? It seems so harsh! But, “A little leaven leavens the whole lump.” Our very love of the Bride of Christ–His people–should compel us to follow His provisions for protecting her.

“But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.”

Oswald Chambers brings more clarity to this issue:

“None of us liveth to himself.” Romans 14:7.

“Has it ever dawned on you that you are responsible for other souls spiritually before God? For instance, if I allow any private deflection from God in my life, everyone about me suffers. We “sit together in heavenly places.” “Whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it.” When once you allow physical selfishness, mental slovenliness, moral obtuseness, spiritual density, everyone belonging to your crowd will suffer. “But,” you say, “who is sufficient for these things if you erect a standard like that?” “Our sufficiency is of God,” and of Him alone.” -Oswald Chambers

Sin is serious. My unrepentant, stubborn sin will taint the church of God and cause others to stumble. And not only will I give an answer, but those who did not love me enough to gently rebuke me and call me to repentance.

Sin forced Jesus to the excruciating cross. To the children of God, our love for His immeasurable grace should constrain us from the love and pursuit of sin.

“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving….Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not become partners with them; or at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.” Ephesians 5:3-8

I wanted to add an important note:

In Matthew, Jesus gives specific instructions on dealing with sin in the church. It should be noted that Paul’s admonition would surely presuppose the action Jesus tells believers to take in Matthew 18:

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

What a beautiful thing when we are humble enough to receive rebuke and correction, and recognize it as the most loving thing a person can do for us.

August 28, 2018 58 comments

church/children's ministry large families pregnancy/birth control Voddie Baucham

Dear Christian: You Can’t Be For the Great Commission & Against Growing Families

by Kelly Crawford July 9, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

When you’ve written at the same spot for 11 years, sometimes you think you’ve said all the things. But then again, unless people are digging into the archives, some things bear repeating. So hear goes part of my heart…

I recently listened to a Voddie Baucham sermon that reminded me of the Christian’s double standard when it comes to the Great Commission. (Totally worth the listen–at least the first 13 minutes.) He reminds us of the story of Jim Elliot and the other 4 men who lost their lives ministering to a remote Auca tribe. Then their wives. They went back to the savages who murdered their husbands in order to share the gospel with them. The Great Commission. Worth the risk even of life itself. We call them heroines, unanimously.

Then he told the story of his Christian friend, “Jane,” a faithful mom, who just had her 6th VBAC. Her friends call her irresponsible. Why?

The Great Commission is nothing more than sharing the gospel with people who don’t know the Lord. The savages in Ecuador and the children born here in America have one thing in common: they need the gospel. Is one more important in the Kingdom than another?

Christians have largely and colossally missed the boat on their understanding of children. While the Great Commission urges us to disciple the nations, our own children surely stand first in that line. Throughout Scripture we see, over and over, His directives about children:

“Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them…”

“And why did He make them one? Because He desires godly offspring.”

“Your wife will be like a fruitful vine, and your children like olive shoots around our table.”

And yet the church focuses on evangelism of the lost–out there, simultaneously scorning the Christian family who accepts the children God gives them. The irony is blaring. Can you see it?

Dear Christian brothers and sisters: our job here is to glorify the Lord and advance the Kingdom of Christ. We do that by both bringing the gospel to the lost around us, and bringing the gospel to our own children, welcoming them as the gifts God says they are, and one is not greater than the other, though our job as parents, I believe is the weightier job.

If Christians everywhere saw their own responsibility to bring up children to know and love the Lord, as part of the Great Commission, by sheer numbers (yes I said it) we would see Christ’s Kingdom advance and His authority and dominion rule. Disclaimer: does it mean every child a Christian brings into the world will become a Christ-follower? No it doesn’t. It means the odds are in our favor that our faithfulness will bear fruit over the course of history. We’re in a long-term battle here.

Love the gift of children. Encourage it among your fellow brothers and sisters. Don’t claim to hate abortion but poke fun at the mother with more than 3 children. That is hypocritical. Christians were given instructions to be fruitful. To multiply. To fill the earth. To raise those children to glorify God. The church’s first growth is through families. Don’t despise the fruitfulness of the womb that God created.

July 9, 2018 17 comments

christian living church/children's ministry large families motherhood/family/parenting pregnancy/birth control

The Church’s Opinion of Children is One of its Greatest Weaknesses

by Kelly Crawford March 7, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

I have a big beef with a large majority of Christian thinking and every now and then, the hornet’s nest gets kicked again and so, here we are.

First, let me tell you the story that prompted me to address this topic again.

A young couple with whom we are friends attend a smallish, typical conservative Baptist church. Conservative in the sense that they would say they hold to sound doctrine and practice biblical Christianity. Which has many definitions, but I digress.

Said church invited one of the missionaries they support to give an update, and at the end of his presentation where he thanked them for their support, he made an announcement: “We’re expecting a baby!”

My friends said you could hear a pin drop. This would be the couple’s sixth child. He said their faces were horrified.

Now we could unpack that:

Here’s a couple in the ministry of the Great Commission, depending on the financial support of others to take care of them. (I have no idea of their financial situation or if they had other employment, etc. But for the story, let’s assume he doesn’t.) How dare they have more of their own children to have to pay for and care for on someone else’s dime, right? Is that what everyone thought?

Or was it more of a typical aversion to the more-than-average size of the family? I don’t know. But here’s my beef:

If the Great Commission is important (it is) and is the main command Jesus gave to us before He left (it was) and our work here (according to Scripture) is to be about the business of bringing others to Christ, being eternally minded and ministering to our neighbors in the name of Jesus (it should be), then why in Sam Hill does one’s own children not fit into that? (It does.)

The church is psychotic when it doesn’t recognize the value of Christians having children but then whines and complains about all the evil in the world. (My friend, a young mother of 3, went on to tell me that she had not received any kind of emotional or physical support from the women in this church–the one they just left, by the way.)

Do you know where change begins? With us. With ourselves, our homes, our children and our churches. When God’s people multiply, there isn’t a Christian alive who shouldn’t rejoice in that. And the financial argument is a weak straw man. If that is our greatest concern with other people having children to be raised to love the Lord (reminder: Jesus was never very concerned about material things), then put your money where your mouth is and help them out financially.

We could change the landscape of society if we just understood this one thing. If every church got this, and encouraged their couples when they had children, and helped them, and stood with them, the godly seed that God so desires of His people would begin to be scattered, and the Lord would “build His church and the gates of hell could not prevail against it.”

Of course this idea is predicated on the assumption that Christian families truly understand the grave responsibility to immerse their children in the Word of God, to live humbly and faithfully before them, to show them what it is to live a life given to Christ, so that they (hopefully, prayerfully) grow up to carry on the Great Commission to their part of the world.

One problem seems to be built on another. Once we lose our sight about the mission of children, we fail to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and then we do get caught up in a worldly cycle of seeing our children more like commodities and liabilities, and who wants more of those?

Wake up Church. The heritage God has so richly offered us in our children is beyond measure! His plan has always been that we would, like warriors, fill the world and send them out to continue to live the Good News of Jesus Christ and offer hope to a broken and suffering world.

Children are our greatest asset. We should encourage them, support them, pray for them and rejoice when they come. For of such is the very Kingdom of Heaven.

March 7, 2018 21 comments

church/children's ministry homeschooling motherhood/family/parenting

The Proper View of Family (Are We Too “Inward Focused?”)

by Kelly Crawford January 8, 2018

written by Kelly Crawford

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about something a (Christian) commenter said on a recent post, “Learning to Think Rightly About Birth Control“:

“I really struggle with labeling the family as “the ripe mission” field and creating a “mini-church” in the family. Honestly this is probably the main reason I don’t homeschool beyond preschool–it’s a little to inward focused for me.”

She was trying to make the point that “the whole world is our mission field” and that paying too much attention to our families discounted the fact.

My heart breaks over this, a common view of family among Christians, who assert that the homeschooling movement has “created an idol of the family” (though some very well may have), giving a knee-jerk reaction that misses the biblical view of family and ultimately destroys this mission field first given to us.

Scripture is saturated with the proper view of the family, analogous to the church and the relationship between the Father and the Son. The institution of marriage was initiated by God, not the state, and was set in motion to be the very picture of a fruitful, thriving church.

Yes, the family is meant to look like a “mini-church” in the way it operates.

Dr. Joseph Atkinson writes:

“The family offers Christ and intercedes for its own members and those around it (priestly); the family is a sign of Christ’s love and faithfulness to a world that is enmeshed in the culture of death (prophetic); and the family serves its own members and those around it sacrificially (kingly).

By participating in the saving and redemptive nature of the Church, the family is profoundly rooted in the Church’s mission. The family has truly become a little church, or as it is better known, a domestic church.”

Regarding the original comment, there is hardly such a thing for a mother or father of young children to be “too inwardly focused”. In fact, during the young family’s life, it is probable that discipling their children, providing for their spiritual, emotional and physical needs is ALL they can do and these families need to understand that IT IS ENOUGH.

Theological Error (Ideas have consequences.)

I think our faulty view of the family stems from some theological error. First, we have “now-centered” thinking where God works over long periods of time to accomplish His purposes. So our evangelical mission is focused on making fast numbers instead of a seeing a steady growth of solid disciples brought up by solid Christian families, who will, in the right time, become ministers all over the earth. We can’t save people; we can only live for Him and be ready to give an answer of the hope that is ours. Therefore, the way we live–the way we operate in our families (since it is a living picture of the gospel)–is paramount.

Secondly, because of the accepted norm of birth control, life is now something we think we can choose or not, so children have become less valuable, more of a commodity and not viewed in our eyes as the Lord views them…”…for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.” We don’t even realize it has happened, but it can be clearly seen as evidenced in comments like the one that prompted this post. Truly, our family is a mission field, ripe unto harvest, and until we have come to a correct perspective on our duties there, we are not fit for evangelism anywhere else.

God sent His son for the most dynamic Christian mission the earth has ever known, and yet we have no record of his ministry until he was in his thirties. When he left, he had around 150 disciples. Compared to our mega-church mentality, his mission work wasn’t too impressive. But He was about His Father’s business and He knew the long-term vision and the importance of investing in a few disciples, day in and day out, so they would survive the long haul, bearing fruit in their season.

One passage of Scripture that has become almost obsolete gives us a closer look at the importance of family:

“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8

This passage refers primarily to financial provision. We know from Scripture that the spiritual life of a man is of far more importance than his physical life, and yet this verse speaks so strongly about the lesser of the two. How much more, if we do not give ourselves to the spiritual provision of our families, are we at fault?

The Heart of the Matter

“Give me your heart, my son.”

This is no longer the plea of the modern, Christian parent. Getting the hearts of our children is essentially “the heart” of discipleship, clearly demonstrated by our Savior as he walked with his earthly children. It is impossible to understand the necessity of this discipleship and worry about “too much inward focus.”

As a family functioning as it should (notwithstanding its own difficulties), it becomes the “city on a hill” the light in a dark world, the most effective form of evangelism.

We had better get inward focused if we want to see real outward change in the world for Christ.

January 8, 2018 56 comments

christian living church/children's ministry large families pregnancy/birth control

What Makes Jesus Indignant? Let the Little Children Come.

by Kelly Crawford November 8, 2014

written by Kelly Crawford

“And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein. And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.” Mark 10:13-16

John MacArthur expounded on this passage and his points stirred some of my own thoughts. If you’ve read my blog at all, you know I feel like Christians, generally speaking, have adopted a jaded view of children. The comments made about larger than normal families reveal that we really do view children more as commodities–and therefore, too many are a burden. My ongoing prayer is that those who proclaim Christ (myself included) will imitate Him.

And as it concerns children, this passage is one that gives us particular insight about Jesus’ heart toward children. MacArthur pointed out that the phrase “he was much displeased” is from the word translated “indignant” and is used only a few times in the Bible. Jesus was often disappointed and/or frustrated with His disciples, but only a few times was he “indignant.”

Indignant.

We don’t like to see this side of Jesus. Not the always-kind, never harsh one that we’ve conjured up. He was livid. And really, it seems like such a small thing, doesn’t it? The disciples simply told the parents to stop bringing their children to Jesus because they were interrupting His teaching. They were seeing the children as a burden. (By the way, MacArthur also points out that these children were infants–according to the translation.)

I think this passage has two implications. First, is the general attitude we are to have toward children. If Jesus was indignant at those He loved for speaking of these children as burdens, does He not become indignant with us as well when we do it? I’m just pointing out a very plain observation.

And how about children “coming to Jesus” in church services? Isn’t that where we meet the Lord? Where we worship? Where our children see us lift up His name corporately and learn about spirit and truth? How many of you have ever been told you need to remove your children from the service because they might disrupt or interfere?

I think we are not afraid enough of our Lord’s indignation. What does he get angry about? Maybe we should take notice. Maybe it should make us angry too.

November 8, 2014 16 comments

abortion church/children's ministry large families pregnancy/birth control

The Link Between Birth Control & Abortion: Is the Church Really Pro-Life?

by Kelly Crawford November 19, 2013

written by Kelly Crawford

Listen to this post on my podcast at Spotify.

We must take responsibility for our part in the culture of death in which we now live, or be hypocrites, as we ponder the atrocity that is Planned Parenthood. We didn’t just wake up in a place where killing babies was an option better than having them. When birth control became accepted, it became expected. We essentially said we wanted to not have babies when we didn’t want babies, but we still want to take part in the act of how they are made. And with us being all in control now, an “unplanned pregnancy” became a tragedy.

Worse, we projected that expectation onto everyone else. “Don’t have babies too soon after marriage” (they will hinder you)…”Don’t have babies too close together” (they will inconvenience you)…”Don’t have too many babies” (they will cost you), and by our narrow allowance, babies–people, immortal human life, simultaneously, were devalued.

When the stigma is strong enough, the criticism loud enough, and the value of one’s own comfort exceeds the value of a new life, abortion is the second and obvious line of birth control. We can do our part, as Christians, esteeming and valuing every life, by echoing God’s Word, instead of the culture’s voice.

People get really squirmy when the topic of birth control comes up and I can attest, having studied and written on the subject for almost 7 years, there are few hotter button topics.

I’ve been begged to leave the subject alone, reminded that it’s “an issue solely between husband, wife and God.” And it is. But the ripple effect goes far beyond that, and it’s that effect I’m so concerned about, among Christians, which is why I keep tackling the topic.

Some beg for the lives of the innocent at their local abortion mill. And some beg with words, agonizing during the night, rushing to find a keyboard.

I have believed, and will continue to unless I’m convinced otherwise, that there is a short walk between the birth control mindset and abortion.

Hear what I said: “the birth control mindset.” This is a very important distinction. I am not saying, nor have I ever said, it is a sin to prevent or space children, upon careful prayer and discernment, within the proper understanding of life. It’s not a discussion about specific circumstances, or sick mamas or hard pregnancies.

The “birth control mindset” is one that treats new life too lightly, fails to give proper authority to the Creator, assumes absolute control over fertility and consequently establishes (either consciously or not) that the idea of “normal” family size is two or three children.

The birth control mindset inadvertently becomes hostile to the practice of forgoing birth control. And herein lies a great problem.

To the church I say: we cannot be staunch pro-life advocates only where abortion is concerned. It is hypocritical to fight for the life of the unborn, but insult the life of the born (and the mother who gave him life), where we deem his birth order to be too high. That is as good as saying, “you should have aborted those last three.”

You might say, “no, she should have prevented the last three.”

Which could be said to every mother walking into an abortion clinic. But her birth control simply failed. Yet we still clamor for that child’s life, and rejoice to see it spared. And we should. Just as we should celebrate every life, especially the life of a believer, receiving into his family the very heritage of the Lord.

Here are my reasons for believing there’s a strong connection between birth control and abortion:

The contraceptive mentality fosters the notion of unwanted children.

“The connection between contraception and abortion is primarily this: Contraception facilitates the kind of relationships and even the kind of attitudes and moral character that are likely to lead to abortion. The contraceptive mentality treats sexual intercourse as though it had little connection with babies; it thinks of babies as an “accident” of intercourse, as an unwelcome intrusion into a sexual relationship, as a burden. The sexual revolution has no fondness – nor room for – the connection between sexual intercourse and babies…” –Professor Janet Smith,”The Connection Between Contraception and Abortion“

Abortion is simply the back-up method for failed contraception.

Planned Parenthood vs. Casey:

“…the recent Supreme Court decision that confirmed Roe v. Wade, stated, “in some critical respects abortion is of the same character as the decision to use contraception… for two decades of economic and social developments, people have organized intimate relationships and made choices that define their views of themselves and their places in society, in reliance on the availability of abortion in the event that contraception should fail.” (emphasis mine)

Janet Smith again writes:

“To support the argument that more responsible use of contraceptives would reduce the number of abortions, some note that most abortions are performed for “contraceptive purposes.” That is, few abortions are had because a woman has been a victim of rape or incest or because a pregnancy would endanger her life, or because she expects to have a handicapped or deformed newborn. Rather, most abortions are had because men and women who do not want a baby are having sexual intercourse and facing pregnancies they did not plan for and do not want. Because their contraceptive failed, or because they failed to use a contraceptive,they then resort to abortion as a backup. Many believe that if we could convince men and women to use contraceptives responsibly we would reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies and thus the number of abortions. Thirty years ago this position might have had some plausibility, but not now. We have lived for about thirty years with a culture permeated with contraceptive use and abortion; no longer can we think that greater access to contraception will reduce the number of abortions. Rather, wherever contraception is more readily available the number of unwanted pregnancies and the number of abortions increases greatly.”

Birth control increases the number of abortions.

Judith Bury, coordinator of Doctors for a Woman’s Choice on Abortion said:

“There is overwhelming evidence that … the provision of contraception leads to an increase in the abortion rate.”

Artificial birth control can actually cause abortions.

Dr. Walter Larimore, who for decades prescribed the pill, tried to disprove the claim that the pill is abortifacient, only to find 94 scientific studies proving that “postfertilization effects are operative to prevent clinically recognized pregnancy.” He published his findings in the scientific journal of the American Medical Association, and from then on stopped prescribing the pill.

Why it matters so much

Christians must think carefully and discern wisely about reproduction and fertility. To simply adopt the culture’s practices of such an important, world-changing activity, without due attention to God’s directives, is not only unwise, but potentially destructive.

Where God said:

Be fruitful and multiply…
what I have created is good…
It is I who have made you…
I knew you before you were formed in the womb…
I want to give you a heritage…
a gift…
your children will help you fight the enemy
the fruitfulness of your marriage is to reflect the church
I desire godly children from your union (Malachi 2:15)

Margaret Sanger, Planned Parenthood & Pro-Choice Advocates said:

“The marriage bed is the most degenerating influence in the social order.”
“The most merciful thing that a large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it.”
“Women of the working class, especially wage workers, should not have more than two children at most.”
“A baby is a baby when the mother says it is.”
“I never wavered for a moment in the belief that I was carrying a human life inside of me. I believe that’s what a fetus is: a human life. And that doesn’t make me one iota less solidly pro-choice.” *
“a fetus can be a human life without having the same rights as the woman in whose body it resides. She’s the boss. Her life and what is right for her circumstances and her health should automatically trump the rights of the non-autonomous entity (read: “child”) inside of her. Always.” *

(So What if Abortion Ends a Life, Mary Elizabeth Williams)

Before we can hope to see abortion eradicated and life embraced as sacred–sacred enough to protect, preserve and defend at all costs, all life must become so.

If the birth control mindset causes us to measure the value of a child’s life by the number of children born before him, we do not share the mind of God, and deserve the consequences of sharing the mind of a culture who defends death.

We cannot mock what God has created and called good, while simultaneously claiming to be pro-life. As long as we do, we needn’t wonder why abortion is such a vile blight on our society.

November 19, 2013 283 comments

christian living church/children's ministry motherhood/family/parenting

Extending the Gospel Beyond Our Homes: The Big Impact of Little Missions

by Kelly Crawford August 8, 2013

written by Kelly Crawford

“I just feel like I’m not doing enough”, a young mother said to me recently. I want to teach my children the importance of ministry. But I’m so busy doing life, I don’t know how to fit anything else in.“

The greatest missionary who ever lived ministered to one life at a time, in the simplest ways. The greatest and most far-reaching evangelical effort ever performed in history was a man meeting the basic needs of one person at a time. Jesus was the perfect missionary. Yet we still measure success with numbers or impressive programs or big endeavors.

As a mom and wife, you already have a mission field. You minister, as He did, to one person at a time, caring for their most basic needs, and discipling them as you live life.

But as families, we must extend the gospel beyond our walls.”…

Read the rest of “The Big Impact of Little Missions”.

August 8, 2013 7 comments

church/children's ministry motherhood/family/parenting Uncategorized

Multi-tasking Motherhood: At Home Shaping People

by Kelly Crawford October 28, 2012

written by Kelly Crawford

It’s no mistake that God gave women the amazing ability to multi-task. Moms are on the front lines bringing up their children.

And if I were reminded every day how my understanding of the purpose of children drastically changes the way I raise them, it wouldn’t be enough.

See, we live in layers, with all the layers, ideally, blending together.

I have to pick up stuff all day, wash dishes, prepare meals, sweep and mop, wipe off countertops, get children dressed, vacuum….and a bunch more. That’s the physical layer and it takes up a lot of time.

But another layer of responsibility is raising whole children, with purpose, for the glory of God. It includes a relational layer, a spiritual layer, an emotional layer, all intertwined with the physical.

Thus the grave importance of multi-tasking….being always aware, prepared and engaged in the full-orbed duty of motherhood.

This kind of multi-tasking comes with a great price. It can only be tackled with the stamina of believing our children are not OURS, but have been given to us by the Lord, and that we will give an account of our stewardship over them.

It means being there to steer, direct, remind and shape their attitudes, responses and behavior to become more like Christ’s. It means becoming more like Him ourselves, perhaps the greatest price.

And it’s important to know that this shaping of lives only happens in the context of the physical layer. People become who they are, not at a yearly conference or at designated moments of spiritual focus, but in the common days, conforming to the influence most surrounding them. It is what happens in the ebb and flow of daily living that matters.

Mothers, when you are going about your physical work, you are also shaping people. Don’t forget it. Are you tuned enough to stop what you’re doing and explain the “how’s” and “why’s” of dealing with conflict?

Do you know that just as important as getting dinner on the table is taking time to encourage a child who is struggling, to show him his worth by looking to see what His Creator says about him?

Do you remember that your tantrum-throwing 3-year-old doesn’t need you to teach her that she is driving you crazy, but that her life will be riddled with trouble unless she learns to govern her spirit?

Multi-task like a warrior-Mom, raising soldiers for the Kingdom.

October 28, 2012 27 comments

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church/children’s ministry

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The Heart of the Matter

We had better get inward focused if we want to see real outward change in the world for Christ.

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