Modesty is a subject Christians have wrestled with, probably since the beginning. It’s controversial, and different people, all confessing Christ, often come to distant conclusions about the subject. One big mistake we make is to assume “modesty” only refers to clothing. Not so. But as far as it does include attire, is there a standard?
If we all agree that the Bible says, “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array…” it is fair then to ask the question, “what’s the standard”?
In how many school student handbooks have you read: “We feel it is important that the students wear appropriate clothing” without a qualification of “appropriate”?
I do not intend to launch a debate about specifics in this post. (I’ve got closed-toed shoe friends, and spaghetti strap friends, both of whom assume their standard is right.) Suffice it to say, to “love the Lord with all your heart” is to earnestly desire obedience in all of life, reflecting such desire even in our appearance and demeanor. To “love your neighbor as yourself” reinforces the earnestness with which we should seek to dress modestly.
I must give a hat-tip to our good friend Trey for his provoking words the other night during his family’s visit to our home. Since then, I’ve concluded that something he said actually paints a pretty good standard for us, even though it includes no specifics about dress.
Trey explained that his father asked him to make two lists from Scripture: characteristics of a virtuous wife and those opposite her. In his in-depth study of a virtuous woman, he read (I think from John McArthur) about the root word translated “modesty” in 1 Timothy.
It comes from kosmios, originally taken from “kosmos” (where we get “cosmos” of course), with the literal meaning “to place in order, to arrange”. He said that the word “kosmos” is often used in Scripture to describe the “reflection of the glory of God”. What a glorious transfer, then, when we understand that a modest woman (dress, behavior, etc.) is to reflect the glory of God!
I don’t know about you, but that standard makes me look at my wardrobe a little differently. It also makes me consider my speech, my very carriage, my thoughts (which come out of my mouth) my jewelry, my conversation–all that encompasses being a woman. To me, using this standard still allows freedom in one’s unique taste and style of clothing, while maintaining a decidedly strong focal point to guide.
I’m thinking of writing the question, “Do I reflect the glory of God” on my mirror. 😉 (Yes, I’m painfully aware that I overuse winkies in my posts.)
Again, we miss it if we think that modesty only refers to dress, and we miss it if we think it doesn’t include dress.
***As a side note, a while back, I posted an interview by Lindsay, Trey’s sister. You may want to check out the 3-part interview:
(Thank you again, Lindsay, Trey, Bo and Zhenis, for blessing our family with such delicious food and fellowship…and words that provoke!)