Home humor If Our Baby is Black

If Our Baby is Black

by Kelly Crawford

I took my 7-year-old, Avi with me to my first doctor’s appointment today.  (Everything checked out fine, by the way, and I’m due March 16thish.)

I loved our conversation, revealing the sweet, unbiased nature of children, and just had to share it…(some of our best friends have adopted 3 black children which served as the stimulation for her question.)

Avi:  “Mom, if our baby is black will you still want it?”

Me:  “Um, yep.”

Avi:  “Well, some people don’t want their babies if they’re black…like Josie and Ellie.”

(Josie and Ellie are 2 of the babies our friends adopted last year.  She doesn’t realize that color has nothing to do with adoption.)

Me:  “You’re right, Avi.  What color babies do you want?”

Avi:  “I don’t care.  Maybe a white one and a black one?  It doesn’t matter.  I just want a little one.”

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Jessica September 23, 2010 - 7:40 pm

That is so sweet! And now you have the memory save forever!

Niki September 23, 2010 - 7:45 pm

How sweet! Oh, how I wish more Christians felt this way.

I Live in an Antbed September 23, 2010 - 7:49 pm

Preciousness personified!!

Angela September 23, 2010 - 8:15 pm

The unconditional love & acceptance of children (who have not been trained to be judgemental) is wonderful. If only we could remain that way.

Great to hear that all is well with your baby. Our 7th is due in about 3 weeks and to help me focus on the birth & prepare for it I have been reading through some of the articles on http://www.birthingnaturally.net/ I have found this really helpful and thought that perhaps you may also enjoy this site.


Renata September 23, 2010 - 8:19 pm

That is just so adorable!

Mrs. Santos September 23, 2010 - 8:20 pm

Too cute! and so innocent.

Mrs. S September 23, 2010 - 8:23 pm

I love kids! My 6yo son was totally confused today when he found out some people did not want to have babies and took medication to not have them…”Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

I am due at the end of March-ish. I love this time in pregnancy when food is delcious again, the belly is growing, and you can feel the baby.

Blessings 🙂

Renee September 23, 2010 - 8:32 pm

Awww this is so sweet, and congrats by the way, how are you feeling????

Charity September 23, 2010 - 8:37 pm


I prayed for you today while I sat waiting at my own prenatal checkup today. Glad to hear things went well.

So precious to hear Avi’s heart on the subject 😉 Our 4year old little girl is *praying* for this baby to be black. (She is constantly pointing our people with darker skin saying that she wishes she could have skin like that and not “just plain”.) I think she is going to be dissapointed 😉

Word Warrior September 23, 2010 - 10:01 pm

Thank you, Charity! Hope yours went well too!

Kelly L September 24, 2010 - 10:33 am

That is so funny! I am pretty sure my lily white daughter will marry someone with dark skin because she has loved “how pretty” dark skin is since she was 3! I said that once to a family member and they asked if I would be OK with that. WHAT?! They are Christians, too. It made me sad. My only requirement is the man loves God more than anyone or anything.

R. F. September 23, 2010 - 9:16 pm

How absolutely sweet! My two older boys were with me at the doctor once and we were sitting in the waiting room next to a black gentleman. One asked me “mom, why is his skin black?” Of course they asked loud enough for him to hear. I answered “God made him that way.” Son replied “Cool”. The gentleman just smiled. Kids can be so cute when their innocence has not yet been corrupted.

Ginger September 23, 2010 - 9:29 pm

2 years after the adoption of our three Africans, all the kids were talking about wanting me to “give birth to a baby”. I turned to my African children and said: You know if I give birth to a baby, it will be white.
They said: That’s ok!
🙂 And they are so in love with our littlest one. They don’t see her fair skin; they just see the baby sister they’re so crazy about.

Word Warrior September 23, 2010 - 9:39 pm

I don’t want to state the obvious, but I don’t know if it’s clear from the post that Avi thinks the possibility of having a white or black child is as random as hair color 😉

Ginger September 24, 2010 - 7:39 am

Yes, that was clear. 🙂

Kelly September 23, 2010 - 10:06 pm

Love this. Oh to have the sweet innocence of children. My second youngest a long time ago when we where getting ready to have our third, asked what color our baby was going to be. One of his little friends from church was dark skinnned little boy. My son was so disapointed when I told him that he would have the same skin color he did. He so wanted his new baby to be just like his best friend at church. He said our family just didn’t have enough color in it. 🙂

Carmen September 23, 2010 - 10:29 pm

Too cute! I love how their little minds think…non-stop! 🙂

Kim M September 23, 2010 - 11:27 pm

She is precious! My 6 year old said recently, “Mommy, can we get one of those little kids who don’t have parents? I want a brown one.”

melessa September 24, 2010 - 12:48 am

That’s sweet!
Our two girls are curious to see our 3rd, who is due at the end of March. when one of my co-workers said, “congrats on the bun in the oven!” I (stupidly) said, “thanks! we’re waiting to see if it will turn out raw or burnt”. My husband is very dark, and while I’m olive-skinned, I’m still MUCH lighter, so my co worker started cracking up. I cringe thinking about that, though, and wish I had thought quickly and spoke slowly a la James 1:19… (I know that verse is more appropriate for anger management, but still..)

jen in AL September 24, 2010 - 7:40 am

Love this!!! Children have such a wonderful perspective on life! blessings, jen in al

Diane September 24, 2010 - 7:47 am

Aww…. when we were getting ready for our first adoption, my oldest daughter was about 4yo. We were driving along in the car one day and she suddenly said, “I hope our new baby isn’t black.” Oh my goodness! My heart just dropped and I was wracking my brain to try and think where she could have heard/absorbed such racist thought. As my brain was whirling around, she went on to say… “If the baby is black then her skin will be prettier than mine. She’ll be prettier than me and I’ll be jealous.”

ahhhh…. whew…

After I caught my breath and quit smiling we talked about how wrong it is to be envious and how important it is to value how God has made us even if we think some other feature would be “prettier.” 😉

Kelly L September 24, 2010 - 10:35 am


Margaret September 24, 2010 - 8:24 am

Aww. I love how innocent children are on this matter.

My husband is Ethiopian, so our kids are brown. When we started getting into American history, my oldest son was absolutely horrified that skin color would have any effect on how a person was treated. Praise God, in his you life he’d never experienced prejudice, even though we have been around a variety of people with a variety of views.

He immediately made a sign that said “Color should not be judged!” and posted it prominently, lest anyone in our [very multicultural] household should forget. 😀

Meanwhile, my youngest (3 yo) tells me when he grows up he’s going to be a daddy and look like his cousin’s daddy, who is very, very white. :p

I have to say, although I detest Obama’s policies, I got a little weepy when we watched the inaugeration. I wasn’t joyful about the man himself and I didn’t vote for him, but I was thinking of the fact that I could show my little biracial boys and tell them with absolute confidence that it was the truth: “YOU could be president some day!”

Sylvia September 24, 2010 - 9:33 am

This is so lovely !

Kristen September 24, 2010 - 10:06 am

What a sweet conversation. My children are all adopted and the shades of color vary from very dark (my oldest son) to my husband and I (very light), but nobody really notices.

Jennifer September 24, 2010 - 10:11 am

We just recently saw a photo of two newborns, fraternal twins, from an interacial couple and there actually was a black one and a white one! What do you know?

karen September 24, 2010 - 12:18 pm

My kids are much older and yet because they live in a rural area where many white parents have adopted black or asian children they are convinced that these white parents have given birth to these children in a variety of colors. This is very funny to me , as they think I am totally wrong when I try to explain!!

Ashley B September 24, 2010 - 2:13 pm


That is just precious! What a sweet girl. Glad to hear everything is going well with your pregnancy. We just found out last week that we are expecting #6 on our ten year anniversary at the end of May.


Word Warrior September 24, 2010 - 8:10 pm

Congratulations, Ashley!!!

Ellowynne September 24, 2010 - 3:47 pm

many people do not know that color of skin is determined by just one gene, and a variant in that one single gene…

Linda September 24, 2010 - 5:50 pm


Grateful for Grace September 24, 2010 - 6:11 pm

Just darling!! Precious.
Our foster/semi-adopted son kept asking me if my baby was going to be “white or Mexican”. I explained it again and again, but he kept saying he hoped it was “Mexican”.
My youngest once kept saying it “might be a puppy”. I insisted it wasn’t. She would just smile and say, “But you don’t know.”
I couldn’t figure it out until I realized, months later, that she heard me over and over answer to people’s question, “Do you know what it is?” with, “No, we don’t know.” Naturally, the were talking about the gender, but to a not quite two year old, it meant all bets were on.


Charity September 24, 2010 - 6:56 pm

Oh my goodness! I had to tell my husband the puppy story. That is SO funny!! 🙂

Word Warrior September 24, 2010 - 8:11 pm

Very funny!

ladyscott September 24, 2010 - 8:44 pm

I was at the pediatrician’s office a month ago and out of the baby room walks a man with really REALLY dark skin. Behind him was his wife, a very pale, freckled redheaded woman. I immediately thought, “Oh, I just HAVE to see this baby!” Their baby girl was a beautiful combination of the two of them…medium brown skin, big brown eyes like her daddy, but curly brown hair with a LOT of her mommy’s red in it. She was beautiful.

I read a story about a woman in Britain who gave birth to twins, one black and one white. People argued that they couldn’t be from the same man. Huh?! LOL, are people really that ignorant? How in the world can twins come from two different fathers? I cannot believe the upset that people still have about mixed-ethnic families.

Grateful for Grace September 24, 2010 - 9:43 pm

Wait! Did I miss that you are expecting twins?

Word Warrior September 26, 2010 - 10:07 am

No, Grace, it’s only one 😉

Nicole September 24, 2010 - 9:53 pm

How precious! My two sons prayed that my third son would have black, pink, or yellow skin as I recall. Needless to say, he was born looking like the rest of us (painfully pale), but my sons were still pleased that he was small and cute. Congratulations on getting a due date! I’ll continue to pray for you as you progress. God’s blessings to you!

Ashley September 24, 2010 - 11:02 pm

“Huh?! LOL, are people really that ignorant? How in the world can twins come from two different fathers?”

Studies show that around 1.5% of all fraternal twins have different fathers. Do a google search and you can see can cases that made the news.

Deborah September 25, 2010 - 11:09 am

So sweet!
This reminded me of when I was younger. We were a white family growing up in a predominately black neighborhood. My sister one day announced to the family, “When I grow up I’m going to have a black baby because our family doesn’t have any of those!”
Kids are so cute!!

alisa September 25, 2010 - 12:11 pm

love this!!! When my son was 10 he overheard my husband talking to his father about our good friends who have 7 children….and then he mentioned that 3 were adopted. Garrett was shocked and said “which 3 are adopted?” He was dead serious……their 3 adopted children are from Haiti and their other 4 are of course white…..he had no clue they were any different! I love it that my kids are color blind!!
And congrats on you new blessing….we are expecting #8 mid march as well..and after 2 serious miscarriages last year we are over joyed with this new one!!
Blessings alisa

Claudia September 26, 2010 - 10:14 pm

Just so very happy for you and your family, Kelly, after reading about your pregnancy! Praying for His tender care and protection. Praying, too, that He would grant you much sweet sleep to keep you healthy and strong.

Mary Jo September 28, 2010 - 11:01 pm

Kelly, I’ve been out of town for a few days and missed this post. My middle child (3) has been making comments about people with “black faces” and I am so very grieved by it! My husband and I are confused as to where she would even get this kind of thinking, and after reading all these comments about color-blind 10 year olds, and etc… I’m now on the verge of tears!

It all started a few months ago when a new family started visiting our church. We have a few darker families already, but this one had a little boy who is the same age as Felicity. I think it was his dread-locks (sp?) that scared my little girl, because when he started to chase her, she screamed in terror! I tried to calm her down and get her to talk to him, but she was too hysterical! I’ve never seen her like that before.

When we got home, I reproved her behavior again and tried to help her see how hurt the little boy was by her behavior. Then, I let her pick out a gift for him, wrap it, and give it to him (with an apology) the following Sunday. After that, the two of them seemed to get along just fine.

But last week, I pulled up to a drive-through window after giving my order at Burger King. Felicity heard the order and then said sadly, “I hope she doesn’t have a black face.”

I wanted to cry! Instead, I tried to keep calm and just ask why she would say that. “Because it’s not pretty,” she replied.

When I explained to her that God made some people that way, she seemed to respond well and even ventured a shy smile at the lady who handed us our food. But I don’t know if this is something I should address again, or just wait to see if we have a re-occurance. I would appreciate any advice on this!

Amy Lu October 7, 2010 - 8:22 pm

One of my close friends (caucasian) has an African American husband. Their first born (daughter) is absolutely gorgeous with olive skin and thick silky black hair. Their next child (son) came out with lighter skin and a blond/light brown afro. He is going to be seriously handsome when he grows up.

The kids stayed with us when mom and dad were at the hospital having baby #3. Their son was around 6 or 7 years old at the time. I took them in to see their new baby brother. His mom showed him the little bundle – white as could be with blue eyes and white-blond hair! “Don’t you think he’s cute?”

Her son answered with hesitation: “Ya, but how come God keeps giving us white people?” ;o)


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