Wives: What is My Role?-Marriage-Part 2

To understand the proper aspects of marriage and our roles as wives, we must first understand the fundamental design God intended for us. This is where our secular culture begins to kick and scream (and sometimes us too!), but where Christians must fully submit to HIS purpose if they want a fulfilled life. He is the master architect; we can disagree with His blueprints all day long, but if we want a sturdy, beautiful masterpiece of a home, we must submit to His expertise and build it His way.

Here goes….

God created husband and wife as complimentary members of marriage, with ONE flesh, ONE purpose and ONE vision. All too often spouses resemble two different people, with two different agendas, schedules, goals and interests. It may seem right and “healthy” to live this way, but it will destroy a marriage. While of course each one may have hobbies or interests that they pursue individually, their overall pursuits should be characterized by a unified spirit.

He created the husband as the head of the operation, and created the wife as the assistant (helper). It is ridiculous to assume there can be two partners, equal in power, in any organization.

In essence, then, ladies, we were created to support, rally behind, encourage, and pour our energies into furthering the vision of our husbands.

Feminists gasp in horror at words like submission, obedience, and honor. But their agenda is absurd. They have set out to try to make a “family” just a unit of people, operating with separate agendas and equal authority, and stating that somehow that is what is going to make women happy. Just look around. Do you think it’s working?

I’m sure you’ve heard the analogy that compares marriage to the relationship between the President and Vice. Imagine the anarchy if there were two presidents! However, the Vice President serves a very important role that enables the President to fulfill the overall purpose of his job. The Vice President is not treated with disdain or of lesser importance by the President. I would think that he is the most honored member of the House!

So it is with husbands and wives. Nothing is more beautiful than when a woman is a crown to her husband… an extension of all that he is. When a wife embraces this vision of her role, the rewards are a man who will conquer the world for her.

Let’s be reminded of our priorities as wives. It is so easy to lay aside his needs in pursuit of our own fulfillment. But it’s not right, and it’s not what will bring us ultimate fulfillment.

And for some of us, it may just be the little things. I must be careful that this computer doesn’t rob me from my husband. (If he comes home and doesn’t have clean socks, but I’ve been here all day, I probably need to re-prioritize!) It can be our children, our friends, the telephone, books, homeschooling–anything that comes before his needs must be reassigned to a different place.

One closing suggestion: I don’t do this often enough, but I’ve heard the excellent suggestion of asking your husband what is important to him, practically speaking, on a daily basis. (For some it is laundry, for some it is intimacy.) And then, purpose to do those things before anything else.

I loved this observation from Dr. Laura (as you know I’m reading her book)…a caller called in whining that she was too tired to give her husband the physical intimacy that he desired. Dr. Laura answered, “That’s no excuse. It’s your obligation. Take vitamins, exercise more, take something off your plate. Do whatever you have to do–he’s first!”

I think it’s an art that must be studied and practiced. We are busy women, pulled in many directions. We can be tired, grumpy and prone to pity parties 🙂 But we can start with the acknowledgement of what it is to be a virtuous wife and then beg the Lord for grace to become her!