“See the thing is, when it’s all said and done, and I’ve heard all the arguments about why mom can’t stay at home, and why daughters have to prepare for a career, and why the children have to stay in day care, and why we need two incomes, the fact still remains that THE FAMILY SUFFERS.”
We watched The Return of the Daughters over the Christmas holidays. (I’m so scatter brained, I can’t remember if I’ve already mentioned this!) What an inspiring tool for families!
If you haven’t got it, it’s a must-have for your library.
In a nutshell, the film paints a beautiful picture of what it looks like when a young woman embraces a radically different vision than that of the culture. It’s the picture of a family working together toward one goal, not segmented members of the family all doing their own thing.
One of my favorite points in the film was something Voddie Baucham said. He asks why it is that when Condoleezza Rice is a helpmeet to the President she is esteemed as a hero…but when a daughter and wife are a helpmeet to her husband she is an unintelligent doormat?
The film interviewed 7 young women and their families, giving a powerful answer to the question, “What does a girl do after high school?” Unlike cultural assumptions, these women were intelligent (that’s probably an understatement), pursuing higher education, articulate, strong, talented, opinionated, and yet godly women with a determination to help their parents build strong families in order to prepare to build their own strong families.
Because isn’t that the basis for our whole society? The liberals would tell you differently, but in my estimation, the entire success of a nation depends on the strength of its families. Would you agree?
Return of the Daughters portrays homes filled with the aroma of love…laughter, the delicious smells of cooking, unity of spirit, and peace. Not perfect homes, those don’t exist, but homes that mirror God’s grace and love. It’s really a simple concept, and yet a picture so absent in the typical family!
It took us a long time to get to the place where we don’t even see the importance of the home, not “home” as in the place people sleep and keep their clothes, but the vibrant, busy glue-of-the-family home.
Is it any wonder marriages are falling apart left and right? Imagine any organization, any organized group that starts out with a purpose, then all its members break off and pursue their own interests…
Go back to the Condoleezza Rice comment. Imagine the cabinet members, the staff that work for President Bush, calling in one day and saying, “Mr. President, today I’ve got an important meeting elsewhere–I won’t be able to make it to work. Oh, and after that, I’ve got a tennis match. But I will be able to come in after that, only I’ll have quite a few phone calls to make regarding my invested shares in the Keebler Corp., and let’s see, well maybe I’ll have a few minutes later tonight and we can go over that speech you’ve got coming up.”
How well do you think things would be going in the White House under such conditions?
See the thing is, when it’s all said and done, and I’ve heard all the arguments about why mom can’t stay at home, and why daughters have to prepare for a career, and why the children have to stay in day care, and why we need two incomes, the it
At what point are we willing to lay aside all of our arguments, or excuses, or situations, and set our faces like flint toward the truth, and just do what we need to do to preserve our homes?
I read a secular article yesterday (pretty sure the author was not a Christian), and she made such an excellent, obvious point. She said, “Why are we still pretending that both parents gone from the home is OK, and not harming the family? We know statistically and intuitively that it is.”
So why do we keep ignoring the obvious? Because we want what we want and will go around the world to justify it.
And I can hear readers saying, “But what about this circumstance, or that one?” I’m not talking about that 1 in a 1000 unusual, difficult circumstance that doesn’t have a clean-cut answer. I’m talking about the acceptance and even promotion of a design that is harmful to the family, and was never intended by God, in my opinion.
People every today will make comments such as “this world has gone crazy”, and “I can’t believe what’s going on these days”…but they will not be upset enough to think…and to reevaluate their ideas. They will not be willing to take a stand against the popular currents of thought and practice. They will get into their Mercedes and drop the kids off for someone else to raise, and then go to help another man build his business and wonder why family life isn’t all they had dreamed about. One day they may wonder why their husband left; or why their daughter is pregnant, or why their son is on drugs. And they’ll chalk it up to life, and keep living in the same direction.
Don’t misinterpret what I’m saying. Mom deciding to stay home will not miraculously turn everything into a rosy, glowing, happy place. Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing. Trials exist. Burdens happen. The problems we built for ourselves did not happen overnight; neither will the solution.
But gradually, as more and more people forsake the world’s formula for success and embrace God’s, the Original Creator, He will bless. What we need are Godly rebels. Amen, and amen.
20 comments
I’m no fan of the Bush administration, but Dr. Rice is a very accomplished woman. And her first name is spelled Condoleezza.
LOL! Thanks for the spelling correction…I had no idea how her name is spelled.
But might I ask, what the point of your comment was? Nothing I said about Condoleezza insinuated that she is not a very accomplished woman. Did I miss something you intended?
I just think someone as accomplished as Dr. Rice should have her name spelled properly. A simple Google search would have worked.
Actually, I did a Google search (spelled the way I thought it may be) and a whole list of articles with her name spelled that way surfaced. So,there ya go.
I think, though, that being “accomplished” isn’t what warrants a correctly spelled name. I think being human is sufficiently deserving. 🙂
Wow, Kelly, you apparently know how to ruffle feathers :-)! I, for one, appreciated the article and know what your intention was. Thank you!
Great post!! Very well said. I appreciate the post, too.
wow…what a strong and Powerful post! I applaud you for this one. I will be coming here often!
return of the daughters I’m going to watch it today after I’m done reading the book s”so much more” (it’s very good so far) can’t wait to watch it!
xoxoxoxo,
Adlyn
Loved the post! The fist quote is so true, the family suffers. I’m watching so many families right now suffer due to mom working.
Another thing I have noticed is that when mom expects to go back to work ASAP when her youngest enters school, her home suffers, too. Because her priorities are different.
Anyway, I enjoyed mulling this one over.
Hello there! You may certainly post the handout on your blog. I know what you mean about feminism seeping throughout the universities but I also feel that God definitely wants me in this place. It is truly, though, and exercise of faith to keep holding strong to Biblical teachings and ideals. I must say that being in a worldly environment can do one of two things: help you to grow as a spiritual being to bring God glory, or it can turn you to “the Dark Side”. Hopefully the former for me and all of us.
Great post! My dh and I loved Return of the Daughters-we watched it just recently, too. We agree that Voddie Baucham’s comment about Condoleezza Rice was one of the most mememorable on the video!
~~Beth
I agree with what you’ve said here. No argument from me. But on the subject of Dr. Rice, can we at least give her credit for NOT creating a family and placing them on the back burner while she accomplished all her accomplishments? In my book, that places her heads above most “accomplished” women in government these days.
Good point, Terry.
Great Post!!! Love reading what wisdom you offer.
Shanna
I’ve got to tell you that I have mixed feelings about absolutes in this case. I KNOW it’s the “ideal” to have mom at home and dad at work.
I don’t know how to say this… but have you noticed that the family seems to break down more and more, thus making some sort of skill set MORE necessary for a young woman entering marriage? Maybe I sound like a hypocrite to you, but I think at least a good education and the ability to work outside the home — even if it is never used in the workforce — would be a good investment in a girl’s life. I think it would make her husband more likely to think twice before straying or beating her if he knew she had the power to leave if she HAD to.
I’ve seen too many instances where “something” happens and either the husband dies or is gone (etc, use your imagination) and then the church is NO HELP to these ladies at all. At least with an education and a job skill, a woman has a CHANCE of being able to survive on her own if she HAS to.
We’re on the same page as to the ideal, but I do think wisdom and forethought need to be put into a girl’s education. The liberal mindset has invaded even the most conservative churches and she’ll be expected to somehow pull herself up by her bootstraps should the worst happen. I know one woman who was even homeless WITH HER CHILDREN and the church did NOTHING. And it was an ultra-conservative women-wear-dresses everyday type place, if it makes any difference.
Please understand I’m not trying to cause a “fight” on your blog, just offering my personal perspective.
Mrs. C,
You make an unfortunate, yet true point…because the church has adopted a lot of feminist doctrine (whether they admit it or not), they have consequently all but abandoned their responsibility to care for women in dire circumstances. As far as that goes, the family has neglected their job first in these cases.
However, we have to be careful, wise and prudent, yet, but because this is such a slippery slope, we can easily aggravate the problem by using pragmatic approaches.
My thoughts on this is that if Mom and Dad are embracing the vision of biblical womanhood, should something happen to their daughter’s husband, they are the first line of her defense.
And we should be pursing churches who practice “caring for the widows and orphans”. We are fortunate to attend a church that believes in such protection. They are out there, you just have to find them.
And the other thought on this is that there is no reason a girl could not be prepared to provide income for herself if need be without leaving home and seeking the liberal-minded, career driven degree.
Higher education is at our fingertips–a much superior education that what is offered by the university is right in front of us (for much lower a cost, I might add), if we want it. I hope to impart to all my children the strategies of entrepreneurship and running a business, in addition to an excellent education.
I know this is not such a black and white issue, simply because we do not live in a cookie-cutter world. But we have to be careful to evaluate our solutions to problems, and make sure we are not exacerbating the problem by taking things into our own hands.
The Lord gave us the rules, and the safety nets, and we need to do all we can do to keep those in tact.
Ivy-League Education for Free?
Good stuff.
Mrs. Taft,
Thanks so much for this great link…it is precisely the kind of thing I’m talking about. We live in an age where one would have to be completely incompetent to believe he can’t receive an excellent education from home…albeit I would even go farther to say that I could still receive this level of education (minus the humanistic brainwshing) without even tapping into the universtity classes. Nevertheless, if you want it, it’s available1
This post is so true. I pray this is my last year teaching so that I can return home. I am almost asleep by 7pm every night. After working all day, being “drained” by 1st graders, then running errands, cooking dinner and still trying to fit in time with my toddler and husband I can barely keep my eyes open past 7. I am stressed trying to do it all and recently had a high blood pressure reading for the first time in my life. Not to mention this is not fair to my baby-whom I still cry over leaving with the sitter all day!
Fortunately my husband agrees that I don’t shouldn’t have to work; even though I am the bread winner. We are both starting home-based businesses and I feel that God is really going to bless them so that we can do things the way He ordained.
I feel a longing in my heart every time I come across moms and wives who do not have to work a full-time job. I hope they realize how blessed they are!
This post, and the comments, are so encouraging and make me so happy in so many ways today. Thanks kelly, and the commenters. 🙂