“When people see our big family traipsing through the market or walking to the park or leaving for church squeaking clean or arriving at church slightly dirty because a few of us have already fallen down in the dirt, they say things like, ‘My! You’re busy’ or ‘You have your hands full!’
But, the way I see it, isn’t that the point? Since when is the goal to have your hands empty?
Whether I get it all done or whether I don’t, it doesn’t really matter. Whose tombstone ever said, ‘She was always caught up with her mending’ anyway?”
Sweet child of mind, that I have yet to meet—God has woven such a mysterious reality in my womb!
I have not yet held you, and yet I hold you every moment!
I have not yet met you, and yet I know you intimately.
I have not yet touched you, and yet we haven’t stopped touching since the day you were conceived.
I have not yet carried you and yet I’ve carried you everywhere you’ve ever been!
I have not yet seen you and yet I constantly see your little hands and feet making your presence known.
As I carry you, the sweet reality of your dependence on me–the fact that no one else on earth can protect you right now, can be your home, can bring you out of this cocoon into the light to live–that realization overwhelms me and I can’t find the words to thank my Heavenly Father for this privilege He has allowed me one more time….
“I’m weady to go”…and a quick inspection draws me to each foot,
One sports a pink butterfly shoe and the other a scuffed cowboy boot.
“Thank you Lord for laughs in motherhood.”
“I had if first” he whined to me, but the other one had it first too,
I look up to Heaven to see if God will tell me what to do.
“Thank you, Lord, for soul-building moments of motherhood.”
I swept the floor an hour ago, so where did that mess come from?
Oh yes…from learning hands that keep me sweeping up cracker crumbs.
“Thank you, Lord, for the evidence of little people in motherhood.”
“Mommy, I’m sorry you feel bad today, can I run a hot bath for you?”
That sweet little face with its heart-love aglow, refreshes me anew.
“Thank you, Lord, for the tenderest affections of motherhood.”
Fifteen years since I brought that one home, she looks at me with a smile,
“Mom, I’m so very thankful for all the things you’ve taught me in life.”
“Thank you, Lord, for the fruit of motherhood.”
And now I hold this sweet little one with another kicking inside,
The one in my arms falls gently to sleep and I brush her soft hair aside.
“Thank you, Lord, for this gift of motherhood.”
All is quiet in the house just now, it’s not very often this way,
I so easily let the ebb and flow of life diminish the day.
Teach me, Lord, that though this garden may have its share of weeds,
Underneath it all is a fertile soil bursting with immortal seeds.
“Thank you, Lord, for this life of motherhood.”
Kelly Crawford
As many angles as I’ve come at this subject before, I thought of yet another one…
A confused commenter scolded me on this fertility post about “making laws” regarding being fruitful and multiplying. (I deleted the comment for a number of reasons.) Which confuses me, because I’m not the one that said to “be fruitful”, and I’m not the one that created the fruitful womb, and frankly, I said nothing about “law”; I simply implied that the womb was PART of God’s plan of evangelism (more mouths to share the gospel…)
Anyway, that train of thought got me thinking, yet again, why those who do not use birth control are considered such freaks, even among Christians! (The commenter told me I was not trusting in God, but myself, by having the children God gave me??? I can’t even fathom that reasoning.)
This post is not about what the Bible says about fertility, as I’ve talked about that many times. It’s not about whether people should or shouldn’t use birth control, or anything about birth control being bad.
It’s about a bizarre twist of thinking I want you to consider.
Recently, our culture has seen a major “green” shift toward all things natural. Every product you pick up is vying for your tendency toward what is natural. The environmentalist groups are picketing for us to leave the earth as it is naturally.
Don’t cut the trees.
Leave the animals alone.
It’s even showing up in the latest trends in landscaping–natural is better.
There’s a move toward natural childbirth, natural skin products, natural (organic) gardening–the buzz word is “LEAVE IT AS IT IS”.
Except in the area of reproduction…
And ironically, that shift is in the opposite direction, with new drugs that will inhibit a menstrual cycle indefinitely (how unnatural is that?).
And despite all the scientific evidence of the benefits of “going natural” in this area (more pregnancies, less cancer…more periods, greater risk of cancer…) we not only ignore that research, we absolutely ostracize those who are “going natural” with their reproduction, giving no credit to their desire for healthier reproduction choices. (I can speak of this, I know…I live it.)
It’s the same question I’ve asked for a long time…use birth control if you wish. But shouldn’t “natural be the norm” by default? If we artificially altered any other part of the normally functioning body we’d be thought insane.
But with just this one area, I’m considered crazy if I don’t do something that is unnatural and possibly harmful to my body to stop its normal function. (And even NFP is quite unnatural if you think about the interference of intimacy…”sorry honey, wrong day.”)
Again, this is NOT a debate on why or why not use birth control (I know about all the reasons some people give for using it.) Nor is it meant to make BC users feel bad.
It’s about what should be considered normal as a starting point, by our very design. At the very least, if we were thinking clearly on this one, those using birth control should receive the questions…”is there a reason you ‘got broken’ ?”
Do you see my point?
“So far our daily expense has gone from a high of $8.08 per day to ( I believe) a low of just under $2.00 per day.”
I promised I would share some secrets from my neighbor who, though there are 15 people living in their 2-story, 3,000 sq. ft. house, manages to keep an average power bill of around $65 a month! And to top that, she’s working on cutting that by half, which she says is what her stove and oven uses.
And let me add that even she said every family is different, can handle different things, and has different needs. So don’t feel guilty if you can’t cut out or implement all the same things–just be inspired to do some thinking about how you could curb a number of spending areas in your home. It’s about frugality, challenge, and fun! (And, you’ll be en vogue with all the “green” hype 😉
Sherry said they started by turning everything off. That is, shut the power grid, the water heater–everything. That way, they were able to see what they couldn’t live without, and what they could. She pointed out that we are so accustomed to convenience, we waste a lot of energy we wouldn’t even miss.
She mentioned that they replaced all their digital clocks with wind-up ones and haven’t missed them a bit. A small savings to be sure, but it’s all those little things adding up.
- Hot Water Heater. One of the things she said they grew accustomed to was no hot water. They have officially left their water heater off for about a year now. (I know, I can’t do cold showers either!) They have a solar power water box that they use to heat up necessary water (dishes, add to children’s baths, etc.), which they put into a thermos pump, but other than that, the whole family has testified that cold showers are rather invigorating! (BRRR!!!)
Sherry says:
“My husband was supportive of this new adventure, and not totally surprised, as I am often known to do whacky experiments at our house! The children think we’re getting to play a fun new game. Well, except when I, for the first time, forgot to turn the hot water heater back on. The first two in the showers, my husband and my oldest son got the surprise of their life on that cold winter morning!!! I have, in recent years, turned off the hot water; but I believe it was probably in the spring/summer time. I wanted them to experience what some missionaries/people in foreign countries experience on a daily basis! Now the hot water heater is off all the time and they tell me they actually enjoy the cold showers.”
Since the hot water heater is one of the big energy grabbers, this saves them a lot. HOWEVER…there is an alternative (I may have mentioned this before): try turning off your water heater during the day and only turning it on right before showers/dishes, etc. The water actually stays hot so it doesn’t use up much extra energy reheating, though it pulls all day if left on. (This is where our experiment starts 😉
NOTE: I’ve heard of some wrapping their hot water heater with blankets or extra insulation to extend power usage.
- Lights. Sherry’s family virtually goes without electric lights. They do use an occasional lamp for reading/piano etc., but other than that, they use two other sources–oil lamps and solar yard lights (is that not the coolest idea?) She added that the oil lamps (which hang on the walls out of little’s reach) add a beautiful ambiance to the room 😉 The solar lights are left outside during the day and brought in like “torches” at night.
- No Dryer. They wash a lot of laundry, so they use their energy–efficient front-loading washer. But the clothes are hung on the line–inside if raining. I heard her joke about selling the dryer all together–but I don’t think it was really a joke.
Sherry says:
“I think we’re saving approximately $40.00 dollars a month on our dryer alone (we hang all our clothes on the line)…”
- Large appliances. Sherry experimented and found that her big deep freeze would keep food rock-hard if only plugged in every 2 or 3 days. Try at your own risk 😉
- Cooking Creativity. Rethinking meals is an important thing when you’re trying to watch appliance use. Eating more raw foods obviously helps, as does using the crock pot more (Sherry turns her crock pot off earlier than usual, wrapping it in towels to cook further.) She gave another great example: instead of cooking pinto beans to make re-fried beans (for dips, tacos, etc.), she grinds the beans to a powder first, then just needs to add hot water (from the pump) to make the bean mixture! (I guess grinding uses less that heating water?)
Sherry says:
“We’re also working on a repertoire of no-bake desserts and we’ve gone from almost daily baking to twice a week bread-muffin-cookie-homemade pizza baking.”
Another benefit about turning everything off allowed her to see which appliances were pulling the most power. By using one at a time, she could go out and look at her kilowatt usage and determine its pull. (Look below for a handy web site that estimates appliances’ power usage.)
Sherry says:
We initially turned our power off during Tom’s office hours! We would get all our laundry done by 7:30 or 8:00, cook whatever food we needed to prepare with the stove, get the laundry on the line, have a computer time, and turn everything off. We turned power back on at 4:30 and used the stove to heat up whatever was needed for dinner. This helped us figure out what we actually missed, made our days a lot quieter, and helped us better organize our computer/electricity time. I also noticed that my children stopped trying to turn on lights, and the little ones gave up on asking for video time during the day. We left our hot water heater on during the night which provided enough hot water for the next day.
Of course the biggies are heat and air. They usually do turn on the air conditioner during the 2 or 3 hottest months (it gets about 98 here), but I think they are up for the challenge of leaving it off this year.
Tips on staying cool? Spritzing the curtains with water (windows open, of course.)…Fans to circulate air…leaving your hair wet and put up…and by accident she got a dress off the line that was dew-damp and found it really did the trick keeping her cool! She also mentioned rethinking the order of the day: heavy work in the early morning, “down time” (reading to children in the swing) during the hottest part of the day. And with a creek out back, I’m sure her children stay pretty cool!
Knowing where your breakers are and what they go to is a must. Sherry said keeping them off altogether, besides a few outlets for computer, telephone, etc., helps with the temptation to flip on lights and things that aren’t really needed.
Sherry says:
“It really becomes a game–a challenge to see how much more you can save. And we are hoping our children will be thinking, as they get ready to build houses, about ways to invest in more efficient ways of living. It’s all about re-thinking everything.”
For the Crawford record (this stuff is contagious!) , we’ve had our 3rd hot day of the summer (upper 80’s), so far managing to keep the air off. And remember, I’m pregnant–VERY pregnant, so kudos for that, huh? Yes, we’re hot. But it’s really not that bad, and our basement is much cooler if we get too hot. Lots of people go without air conditioner–we just have to decide if it’s worth the savings! (Although, we are at an unfair advantage: we run a wedding business with the reception room on the same power grid as our home, and I don’t think the brides will be very sympathetic to our money-saving efforts 😉
Estimated Average Costs for Operation of Various Applicances
Be sure to leave your Thrifty Thursday tip below–any topic works!
1. Write your thrifty tip in a post on your blog, including a link bak to this post.
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3. That’s it! Thanks for sharing with everyone!
I’ve been talking about this for a long time, and will continue to. The common misunderstanding about God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” is that reproduction is a private choice, affecting only the private lives of each family (therefore, “stay out of my business”).
We fail to understand that many principles of Scripture are not individualized; they are given to “a people” and the obedience or disobedience affects “a people”. God’s ways are not always meant to be interpreted as a tool to improve or hinder our personal lives, though He is deeply concerned with us on a personal level. But “His ways are higher than our ways” and we would do well to just trust that.
What I’m trying to say is, often God is wanting to do something much bigger than the scope of our own lives with our obedience to Him. And even in His sovereignty, He allows us to reap blessings or curses based on that obedience.
Pay close attention to this verse and keep it close while you watch the following, short video about our changing demographics due to low fertility rates among Christians (it’s a little different spin than “Demographic Winter”):
“If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God…
However, if you do not obey the Lord your God and do not carefully follow all his commands and decrees I am giving you today, all these curses will come upon you and overtake you…
The alien who lives among you will rise above you higher and higher, but you will sink lower and lower.”
From Deuteronomy 28:43
(Sorry, had a typo–$65 per month!)
I’ve posted about my neighbor Jane, mother of 9, who has done some pretty amazing things with their power bill, so I thought I’d introduce you to the lady who inspired it–our other neighbor, Sherry.
Sherry and her girls are notorious for finding creative ways to save money. They were making laundry detergent when making laundry detergent wasn’t cool 😉 One year, as a Christmas present, she gave her husband back half of all the grocery money he had allotted her for the year.
Yes, they are a family of 15 and have managed to reduce their power bill to an average of $65 a month! (That’s a kilowatt-hour usage of 14/day.) Last night she said her goal was to actually reduce that by half, which she figured she could do using a propane stove (provided the propane was a lot cheaper than electricity.)
Stories like these is what makes those questions like “how do you afford so many children” almost comical. Sherry must answer, “how do you afford so many light bulbs?”
We are going to try a few of her tricks in a short-term goal plan, but I’m pretty sure I’ll never be able to match her savings 😉
I’ll be posting details on Thrifty Thursday about how they reduced their bill so much, so be sure to check in! And be sure to get your thrifty posts ready to share!
(If you have specific questions you’d like to know about Sherry’s secrets, ask me and I’ll be sure to add those to my list of questions for Thursday’s post.)
Tears came when I read the excerpt below by Ann Voskamp. What a deep reality. How very differently we would parent if we grasped it! How very differently an entire culture would view children! We would never again hear the exaggerated words, “You’re having another one?!” Because we would be able to look past the temporal work of the day, and persevere for the lasting work of eternity.
“Seeds and dirt. Isn’t that what we are, really?
Seeds planted deep into loam, growing, living, dying, dust returning to dust, new seeds planted.
I reach down and touch her silken hair, touch all the children within her to come, and think of Abraham and Levi before Levi even yet was… and yet he was:
“Because when Melchizedek met Abraham, Levi was still in the body of his ancestor,” reads Hebrews 7:10.
The New Living Translation offers,“For although Levi wasn’t born yet, the seed from which he came was in Abraham’s body…”
Inside the frames, the bodies, the souls of our children, reside the children still to come. And the children then still to come.
Like nestled dolls, future generations dwell within the child whose eyes I now look into, whose hands I now touch.
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Every day we parent not one child, or even a few children, but every day we parent innumerable, countless children.
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When I raise my voice, frustrated with a child, I speak to generations of children. When I wipe away a tear, comfort, listen, I honor centuries of children.
When we meet our children, children we will not live to meet on this earth, are, in very real ways, met, shaped, formed. Parented.”
From:
Holy Experience: How We Parent Thousands of Children
By the way, I’m pretty sure this will be my new, favorite response…
“I may appear to be the mother of eight children, but I’m really the mother of thousands.”
I try not to whine but…
What’s worse than the “throw-up virus” in a large family?
The throw-up flu, I suppose–especially when three little ones have it at the same time!
This is our morning–after virtually neither of us slept because we had these two in our rooms suffering from coughs, fevers, etc. Kyla was up all night, and then, right about the time they got settled (it was daylight by then) and we drifted off into what felt like our first bit of real sleep,
Avi made it to our room before she threw up–and woke the two littles 😉OK, so maybe I don’t try too hard not to whine.
“Here ya go, Kelly, a chance to live out that ‘giving all of yourself” you’ve been bloggin’ about.”
Careful what you say.
I am thankful for opportunities to die to my flesh, just not at the moment they arrive 😉
We thought it was the stomach bug, but after the first sickie came down with fever, bad cough and feeling miserable for more than a day, we decided it’s probably the flu.
For the record, we just had the stomach virus less than a month ago. If I had blogged about that, you would have found out that my seven-year-old, who gets terrified when she gets sick, didn’t throw up in the boat-sized container I strategically placed by her bed…oh no, she threw up right on top of her sister’s head who sleeps below her in the trundle. Great 2-in-the morning fun!
For a family our size, the stomach bug means quarantine for like a year. It’s at least a month-long cabin-fever sentence. It’s really hard to describe unless you’ve attended 2 or 3 at a time, all throwing up, some crying, some running around spraying Lysol and opening windows–and you know that it will strike again, and again, and again, until it’s run the whole gamut of people who live here.
One time, Aaron, I AND Bria, the oldest, were deathly sick with some awful virus at the same time–literally unable to move. I remember just lying there praying, “Lord keep them safe”, while the 6-year old in charge at the time handed out rounds of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
If I ever DID choose a bad reason for having large families, this would be it.
Today has consisted of little more than holding babies–sometimes two at a time, trying desperately to distract them, praying, and wishing I could take their place. It’s an ironic combination of motherly bliss and exhaustion.
I write this blog in my pajamas…the ones I was wearing when I got up this morning.
I asked Avi if I could hold her…she said in the weakest voice, “No, I don’t want you to get sick”.
This is as much misery for a mother as the ones who are sick, I think. But I am ALWAYS brought to gratitude when we get sick…that it is temporary. And my heart aches for those who are struggling with chronic or terminal illness with no end in sight.
This, too, shall pass.
P.S. My darling husband handed me some money tonight after supper and said, “You and Bria run into town for dessert–y’all need a break.” He is the true servant in our family.
We all have ideas about what we think “works” best in ministry, yet most of us neglect the most basic mission field God has given us.
I read the parable in Matthew that Jesus told of the Master who left his servants with different amounts of money while he went on a trip. When he came back, two of the servants had invested the money and multiplied it. One of the servants had hidden the money and only had what he was left with.
When I asked my children how they thought this applied to us (as there are clearly several applications), one of my children said, “It could be related to having children.” I had never thought of that before.
God has given us the unbelievable privilege–and I’ll say duty–to multiply what He has give us…to increase the Kingdom, right here in our own little domain. But it’s not just about numbers. What will He have to say to us when He asks us about our investments?
Have we poured into the lives of these people–our disciples–multiplying what He has given us?
We are called to make disciples and it begins in our home.