Author

Kelly Crawford

Hello! I’m Kelly and I’m glad you’re here. I’m a wife and mom, just like you. I get it. I know how hard the days can be, and how you might feel like you’re spinning your wheels or that no one sees or appreciates your work.

marriage

Pray for Your Fellow Sister and Blog Reader

by Kelly Crawford October 4, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

Christie is one of my blog readers and a couple of weeks ago, I received the following email from her:

“I felt convicted after reading some things on your blog about having my tubes tied after my 4 kids. I spoke to my hubby about it and we were thinking about getting it reversed, at least I was, he was still silent about it… Sunday Aug 29 after the evening service at church he told one of the interns at our church that we were going to do it, He had’t told me yet but I was sitting next to him and totally thrilled to hear it… Monday August 30 at 2:15pm he and my oldest son were killed in an awful car accident in Flomaton AL. It was so sweet to know that he wanted to have more sweet babies with me though. I know that both my husband and son were saved, they were awesome guys with awesome testimonies. I just wanted to let you know what your blog meant in our last days together. Thank you for writing it.”

I have wept so deeply for her since then, and I would ask you to lift her up during this tremendous time of shock, loneliness and grief.

Today, she posted this and I wanted to share the video as I thought it would be an encouraging word for your husbands and sons.

Please lift Christie and her children up before our Heavenly Father, Giver of love and grace, Sustainer of the broken-hearted.

“Heard this song Aug 6th & shared it with Nathan… He was really looking forward to marriage. He had so many precious plans for loving his wife and treating her like a queen. I wish I had been able to see them come to pass. He was such an awesome little boy. He loved me with all he had, I know he’d have been an awesome…”

I don’t know you, Christie, and I love you.

October 4, 2010 39 comments

homeschooling

Homeschooling: What Are We to Teach Our Children?

by Kelly Crawford October 4, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

Even the most avid homeschool family stops periodically and asks, “Are we teaching our children the right things?” Heavily swayed by outside pressures and our own influence by the state’s agenda, Christians easily lose focus of our educational responsibility before the Lord.

R.C. Sproul Jr. has written one of my favorite books–a book I think every family needs to read and then revisit several times a year. When You Rise Up “cuts through the haze surrounding the educational debate by offering a biblical approach that is elegantly simple without being simplistic.” (Greg Harris)

I am always recharged and inspired when I pick it up. I wanted to share a few thoughts with you from the book:

“We don’t start with the state’s curriculum, and then attempt to find a Bible passage to justify each part. Rather, we start with the Bible and go from there, learning evermore of who God is, of what he has done and of what he requires of us…..”

Sproul takes a practical look at Scripture and explains its rock solid instructions for telling parents how to educate their children for “the good life”. And the methodolgy?

“Here is how God wants us to educate our children–he wants us to talk to them.”

No, Sproul doesn’t throw out formal learning or text books. But he rightly challenges us to get our priorities in order as we follow God’s curriculum.

“Why do we teach our children to read? Most people, if they are honest, would explain that their children need to learn how to read so they can get a good job. That it’s a tool for personal peace and affluence….we ought to teach our children to read so they can know God better.”

He describes the three G’s–what the Christian’s goals of education should be: teaching our children who God is, what God has done, and what He requires of us.

Another word that really hit home to me…(paraphrased)

“All parents DO teach their children ‘when they lie down and when they rise up’. Psychologists say, ‘more is caught than taught’. Whether by abdication or diligence, whether we delegate our job or not, we are always teaching our children what is important about life.”

and…

“…we blend together the worship of the true and living God with personal peace and affluence….we cut God this deal: ‘Lord, we know you are the master of all things. We know you are the lawgiver. So what we’re going to do, while we worship personal peace and affluence, we’re going to serve that God in accordance with your law. You will give us ethics, but the other god will give us purpose. We will pursue the world’s vision of the good life, but we’ll pursue it without stealing or committing adultery. We’ll pursue it, but we’ll be sure to pay our tithes along the way.”

I could quote the whole book, but there are babies to teach and housework to be done.

I would challenge you, as you embrace this awesome task, to wipe the slate clean of preconceieved ideas and go to the Scripture to find out how we are to teach these children. Look to Jesus for his example. Teach them history which begins in Genesis and “continues through to today’s morning paper”.

And one last word from Sproul:

“We are doomed to fail if we don’t teach our children why we teach our children, so that they in turn will teach our grandchildren.”

When You Rise Up by R.C. Sproul Jr.

Think Outside the Classroom

$6.97

Are you a homeschooling mother who worries that you aren’t “doing enough”? Are you thinking of homeschooling but feel afraid that you aren’t qualified? If so, r ead more…

October 4, 2010 28 comments

What God’s Grace Makes Me–A Puritan Prayer

by Kelly Crawford October 3, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

“O God, may Thy Spirit speak in me that I may speak to thee. I have no merit, let the merit of Jesus stand for me. I am undeserving, but I look to Thy tender mercy. I am full of infirmities, wants, sin; Thou art full of grace.

I confess my sin, my frequent sin, my wilful sin; all my powers of body and soul are defiled: a fountain of pollution is deep within my nature. There are chambers of foul images within my being; I have gone from one odious room to another, walked in a no-man’s-land of dangerous imaginations, pried into the secrets of my fallen nature.

I am utterly ashamed that I am what I am in myself; I have no green shoot in me nor fruit, but thorns and thistles; I am a fading leaf that the wind drives away; I live bare and barren as a winter tree, unprofitable, fit to be hewn down and burnt. Lord, dost Thou have mercy on me?

Thou hast struck a heavy blow at my pride, at the false god of self, and I lie in pieces before Thee. But Thou hast given me another master and lord, Thy Son, Jesus, and now my heart is turned towards holiness, my life speeds as an arrow from a bow towards complete obedience to Thee. Help me in all my doings to put down sin and to humble pride. Save me from the love of the world and the pride of life, from everything that is natural to fallen man, and let Christ’s nature be seen in me day by day. Grant me grace to bear Thy will without repining, and delight to be not only chiselled, squared, or fashioned, but separated from the old rock where I have been embedded so long, and lifted from the quarry to the upper air, where I may be built in Christ for ever.”

October 3, 2010 11 comments

frugal living/saving money

My Crocheting Miracle

by Kelly Crawford October 1, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

It should be recorded as a small miracle that I am very close to finishing my first crocheting project! (Turns cartwheel. Well, would if I weren’t pregnant.)

Mind you, I’ve known how to crochet since I was 6. I’ll never forget the circle of little old ladies who let me sit among them for hours and patiently taught me and made me unravel my work over and over. (Where are the ladies like that now?)

But I have a personality conflict with crocheting: I get big ideas and lots of motivation that burn fast and strong and consequently, OUT before most of them come to fruition. I usually only complete a project that can be done quickly using materials I have on hand at the second the notion strikes. It’s a terrible trait, really.

The thought of a project that could take days–months? Makes me break out in hives.

So in spite of many crocheted beginnings, most of them remain just that.

But this! It’s a tiny afghan (I’m not done with it YET, but I promise, I will finish!) because big ones are totally out of the question. Alexa and I have been working together on it (she has the patience and loves it) and I just forgot how relaxing it is and how delicious it is to create something with your hands.

And then today, a friend steered me in the direction of figuring out how to make the cutesy cap to match! By the way, they are SO easy and can be made in a couple of hours. I *might* be able to remember exactly how I did it if you want to know 😉

I owe my renewed inspiration and the flower directions to Attic 24.

And Kathy @ Teaching Good Things has a FABULOUS Learn to Crochet DVD!

I think I’m addicted.

October 1, 2010 30 comments

christian living

The Seductive 7-Year Olds are Our Fault

by Kelly Crawford September 29, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

Hat tip to Stacy McDonald for this disturbing story about a seductive dance performance by a group of 7-year-olds.

OK. I watched the news clip which showed a portion of the dance and then had The Early Show panel discussing it. Thankfully, they were rightly disturbed by the scene.

BUT….the conversation that ensued among the panel made me FAR more upset than the actual dance.

And here’s why:

Whether it’s the crime rate, or the state of failing marriages, or unwed pregnancies, or the rebellion among teenagers or the fight for traditional marriage–pick your societal ill, it has been a constant source of vexation for me to hear people rant about the “crisis” but defend all the precipitant factors that led us there.

It’s as ludicrous as feeding your 5-year-old a steady diet of sodas and candy and then yelling at him at his dentist appointment for having so many cavities.

We bear the consequences of daily decisions. It’s an irrevocable law. There is a logical progression of moral decay that can only be addressed at its earliest beginnings, not at the bottom of the slippery slope.

The three women on the panel were upset at the dance and then rebuke the man who hits the nail on the head…

The host began by showing the video of the dancing girls and then reading this random question from a blog which she states is “a valid question”:

“Why does a society that screams about pedophilia tolerate this appalling exploitation of children?”

Man: “OK, somebody is thinking this looks, ‘how much different from cheer-leading?'”

The women immediately chime in, “Oh this is much different….You haven’t said how you feel about the video.”

Man: “I think it’s bizarre but most of what I experience every day is bizarre. This is just a reflection of how sort of ridiculous we all are.”

Women: “You don’t find it disturbing?”

Man: “I found the original thing disturbing.”

Woman: “I find YOU disturbing!”

(plays a clip of Beyonce’s video–a suggestive dance done in lingerie-like attire)

Man: “OK, what is this?”

Women: “This is art!”

Aggghh!

Not only is the only man on the panel made to look like a buffoon, he’s the only one that is making the logical connection about “how we got here.”

“It’s a reflection of how sort of ridiculous we all are”. Yes it is.

The women on the panel blame the parents, though they’ve just publicly participated in part of the problem.

If I praise a 20-somethings gyrating, seductive dance as “art”, it’s a small journey to my 7-year-old’s performance of that art. The real problem is not the provocative, dancing children; it’s a society that praises pornography.

September 29, 2010 47 comments

marriage

Guarding and Growing Your Marriage

by Kelly Crawford September 27, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

If you’ve read my blog long, you know I am (along with the rest of you) deeply grieved about the rate of divorce among Christians. It really hits home when you hear of it among your friends and acquaintances.

On a broad scale, marriage is supposed to reflect the picture of Christ and the church; so every divorce among believers is an ugly mark on that picture.

On a personal level, divorce always creates a new set of problems, and rarely “fixes” the old ones. Hearts are torn, children are permanently affected, extended families are damaged, and the “curse” of divorce reaches into the next generations.

And something we must not forget: none of us are immune to a weakened marriage. Marriage is commitment, choosing, work and cultivation. I pray Christians would understand the gravity of cultivating their marriages!

How do we protect ourselves? How do we grow our marriages? How do we cultivate them to resemble more and more of Christ and His bride?

Choose. It seems overly simplistic, but I truly believe that commitment in marriage begins with a resolute choosing of love, fidelity and covenant-keeping. As believers, we have to remind ourselves that despite what the culture screams all around us, marriage is for life, and we should never allow our minds to entertain anything different. Jesus demonstrated the ultimate gift of love and sacrifice “while we were yet sinners”…before we ever showed Him a smidgen of love or devotion, and continues to love us though we don’t deserve it. Can we commit to love our spouse that way? Even when he or she doesn’t deserve it?

Cultivate. A garden is a great analogy for a lot of things. I’ve used it as a picture of raising children, but it’s also great for the picture of marriage. You CANNOT plant a beautiful garden, no matter how perfect it looks at first, and then walk away and expect it to stay beautiful. (Believe me, we’ve tried it ;-) Weeds don’t take long to crop up. At first they’re manageable. But left for very long, they will overtake the garden and make it almost impossible to salvage. We have to keep the weeds out as they crop up!

What are the weeds? An unkind word here, a sarcastic look there. A kind gesture left undone, a need overlooked, a priority misplaced. It must be deliberate. If we let life take so much of us that we don’t have time to cultivate the marital relationship, we simply have to stop something, and regain our priorities.

Protect. It should be no secret that Satan wants to destroy your marriage precisely because of what it does to the picture of the church, and because He loves to see people destroyed. Knowing that should make us bristle up with vehemence against anything that would threaten our marriages.

Does anyone speak ill of our spouse? This often happens within the family. Don’t stand for it for a minute.

Are we watching or reading things that cause us to compare our spouse unfavorably? Stop it. (“If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off.”)

I’ve mentioned before that my husband and I have a few “rules” to help safeguard our fidelity. Too many couples play with fire in allowing themselves to become too close or friendly with people of the opposite sex. Don’t underestimate the subtle power of temptation. No one ever had an affair who started out with that intention. It always “just happened before they knew it”.

Protect your marriage from the thief of time. “Not enough time” is probably one of the main culprits of divorce. Little by little, we let other things choke out our conversations and expressions of love. If we have to schedule time on the calendar to converse or be together, so be it.

Protect your marriage with you MIND. Our thoughts are so very powerful. If we dwell on our spouse’s shortcomings, eventually, we can only see him in a negative light, and his faults will grow until they become bigger than they actually are. (And our attitude will become more sour, reflecting in our behavior, weakening the bonds of affection.) But if we “take every thought captive”, choosing to think on his positive traits, those traits will grow even stronger, (and our attitude will be sweeter) while the weaker traits diminish. The battle begins in the mind.

Nourish. Besides pulling the weeds, it takes more to grow a healthy marriage. It takes deliberate acts of nourishment. I think the most basic, healthy act between couples is remembering to be courteous. We all know how difficult that can be when we take each other’s affections for granted, but if we can remind ourselves of this most basic human need, it would make a world of difference. Courtesy is respect. “Let each esteem others better than himself”. That’s it in a nutshell.

What speaks love to your spouse? Find out and do it! Ask if you don’t know. “What really makes you feel loved?” Take the time to love your spouse in tangible ways. It could make all the difference! How many people have quietly walked away from a marriage because they “didn’t feel loved”? Don’t assume he knows the depth of your love.

Understand the purpose of marriage. I’ve hardly ever heard someone describe their divorce experience without prefacing it with, “I just wasn’t happy”.Granted, it’s easy for someone who is happy in their marriage to tell someone who is not to “get over it”. But honestly, happiness is only a by-product of a godly marriage, not the purpose. Don’t allow yourself to think that your happiness is superior to the command to be faithful to the sacred covenant you made. (I’m not talking about truly abusive marriages here.)

Once again, when we become one with Christ through salvation, He doesn’t treat that covenant conditionally. When we are purchased with His blood, He doesn’t leave a “divorce clause” just in case we don’t make Him happy. His grace extends beyond all our shortcomings and He remains a faithful Groom through it all.

Dear sisters, let’s treasure our marriages. Let’s choose to love, choose to grow, choose to stay, and choose to do our part to make our marriages a reflection of Christ and His bride.

(Reposted from the archives)

September 27, 2010 32 comments

christian living motherhood/family/parenting

Weave Truth or Fail as a Parent

by Kelly Crawford September 25, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

I listen to as much news as I can stand these days, and usually end up in deep thought over one thing:

“How did we drop the baton?”

How did a country once full of intelligent men and women, of courageous pluck, who believed in the truth that God’s Word contains wisdom that is true and good for all men, willing to fight and die for things that are right and things that make us free–how did we, in just a few generations, turn out a country full of apathetic citizens that hardly know where they came from, or what’s really going on, not willing to fight for much of anything–especially not “truth” because, well, they don’t really know truth? How did we end up with a generation of people so oblivious that they are about to give up this great country we love and call HOME, and they don’t even know it?

We have failed to fulfill our commands across the generations. We have failed to teach our children of God morning, noon and night. We have failed to weave TRUTH into our daily lives, to pass it on to our children so powerfully that they would pass it on to theirs.

“Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons’ Sons when the Lord said unto me, Gather me the people together, and I will make them hear my words, that they may learn to fear me all the days that they shall live upon the earth, and that they may teach their children.” (Deuteronomy 4:9, 10)

In What Makes a Family, Edith Schaeffer writes:

“The primary place for the flag of truth to be handed on is in the family. The truth was meant to be given from generation to generation….

Explaining the things of the Bible, of God’s love, and of future prophecy is not meant to be something separated into a cubby-hole of “religious instruction” or “family prayer.” As children grow older there is to be a flowing unity in talking about history, present world news, science, which has its seeds in the beginning days of the first understanding of sentences, the first questions. Children’s questions must be taken seriously at the ages of two and three, or they won’t be continuing to ask you at twelve and twenty-three. The importance of being given answers and being treated as a significant human being begins as soon as answers are asked for….

“Look, dear, at that wonderful magnolia tree coming out with creamy, perfect blossoms. Only God could make such a growing thing. Just imagine; it once was a tiny little tree, and it grew into a big one. God can make things that grow, and then seeds that start new trees of the same kind. Isn’t He wonderful?”

“Did you hear that bird’s song? Listen to it! Imagine God’s creating birds that could sing like that! He would have those sounds in His mind first, just like a music composer has sounds go through his head when he is writing music for a violin or a whole orchestra. How great God is.”

“Ohhhh, I see lights coming on along the bay. What a sight. Some man thought up how to use electricity, didn’t he? And another designed those shapes for the lamps?” — “Amazing! You can see the sunset in the water at the same time. Imagine people thinking there was no person there to design the sun and the water and the reflection on all those ripples!”

“God’s direct Word comes to us — consider your place in the family as central, not just in this moment of history, but as part of the “relay.” Don’t let a gap come because of you. Don’t take the beauty of the family life — and the reality of being able to hand down true truth to one more generation — as a light thing. It is one of the central commands of God. It is direct disobedience to God to not make known His truth, to not make known the truth of Himself, and to not make known the wonderful works that He has done.

It is not a responsibility to be handed over to the church and Sunday school. In fact, in many churches and Sunday schools there is a false flag being handed to the children, and a wrong path being pointed out. The Word of God has been ignored by some, and so the blind are leading the blind. Yes, finding a true church for your family is important, but it can’t take the place of the teaching by example and speaking, when going to bed, getting up, eating meals, and walking together. This is a family task and pleasure, and one of the basic “togethernesses” commanded by God since the beginning.”

May we be “repairers of the breach” in our families. May we lay aside everything that would hinder our efforts of truth-weaving, and pick up the baton again, pointing our children to the truth of God at every moment.

September 25, 2010 14 comments

humor

If Our Baby is Black

by Kelly Crawford September 23, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

I took my 7-year-old, Avi with me to my first doctor’s appointment today. (Everything checked out fine, by the way, and I’m due March 16thish.)

I loved our conversation, revealing the sweet, unbiased nature of children, and just had to share it…(some of our best friends have adopted 3 black children which served as the stimulation for her question.)

Avi: “Mom, if our baby is black will you still want it?”

Me: “Um, yep.”

Avi: “Well, some people don’t want their babies if they’re black…like Josie and Ellie.”

(Josie and Ellie are 2 of the babies our friends adopted last year. She doesn’t realize that color has nothing to do with adoption.)

Me: “You’re right, Avi. What color babies do you want?”

Avi: “I don’t care. Maybe a white one and a black one? It doesn’t matter. I just want a little one.”

September 23, 2010 44 comments

motherhood/family/parenting

Dandelions and Mothers

by Kelly Crawford September 22, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

I watched my little 3-year old daughter giggle and blow a fluffy, white dandelion bald; the final glory of the once golden flower left effortlessly, and floated away to unforeseen places, where the tiny seeds, in the same image of the flower they left, will germinate and then sprout up green and strong again. Isn’t God’s way remarkable?

A mother is much like a dandelion. Her life, too, is only temporary. We will one day return to the ground just like the stem of that dandelion. But do we not, while we are here, have the brief opportunity to reproduce and plant the seeds of a whole new generation?

As we sow in the lives of our children, day in and day out, we do not see phenomenal changes. But then, as those children mature, they are “scattered” abroad to take root and revive our immortality, sowing in the lives of their children the things we sowed into theirs. Speaking words that we spoke; practicing traditions that we practiced; serving as we served; passing on the love of God that burned in our hearts.

And so, we need always to keep etched in the forefront or our minds, the powerful responsibility of our work as mothers, looking ahead to all the hundreds, yes thousands of little seeds bearing our image that will be planted after we are gone. And that vision will keep us vigilant against a world that is frightened of that power, and therefore seeks to stifle it.

Dandelions and mothers—yes, they are much the same. Let every dandelion you blow be such a reminder.

(Reposted from archives)

September 22, 2010 14 comments

motherhood/family/parenting pictures

Life With Kyla

by Kelly Crawford September 20, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

Kyla is our seventh child. One of several children we would have never had the privilege of knowing if we had followed our original “a boy for me, a girl for you, praise the Lord we’re finally through” plan. (Hat tip to Dr. Baucham for that phrase.)

Bria loves to do photo shoots with the girls. I’m glad, because otherwise, I don’t know if I’d remember to freeze these babies in pictures!

Yesterday I was reading to several of the younger children. Kyla likes to repeat me when I read, so I pause to give her time.

“…so then we see the beauty of the world…”

Kyla: “So den we see da…Mom! We don’t say ‘booty’!”

Do you know how hard it is to get on to her when she makes this face with these big, brown eyes? It’s a new thing–the testing–sometimes when I tell her to do something, she’ll just make this face and quip with the sweetest little voice, “Why?”

This is the face she made the first year of her life. Contemplative??? We found out she was just listening. Never talking. And then suddenly, she said everything, all at once.

I think God makes cuteness because it takes the edge off of the hard mothering days. Boy I love my 6 girls. 😉

“Sweet child of mine, I pray each night that I would not hold on too tight. You are His on loan to me, my job is to prepare you for eternity.”

We walk day by day. Ours is a story being written just like yours. Some days, the pages are embellished beautifully. Some days, I yearn to rip them out. Some days, I love to write. And some days, I don’t feel like I can. Still we walk. And the Savior walks beside us….perhaps in us and through us.

September 20, 2010 40 comments

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