“She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple…
Strength and honor are her clothing; she opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness…
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her–“Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. ”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:22-31
There is a characteristic lacking from most women in our culture–I think that lacking thing is best summed up by the word GRACE.
Grace: charm, elegance,attractiveness of a delicate, refined and unlabored kind; a sense of what is fitting; courtesy
Grace is partly a physical trait, and partly an inward trait that manifests itself in a physical way.
I think the Proverbs 31 woman must surely have been one of tremendous grace. I want to be more like her.
I have a bit of a hobby of observing people in public. Particularly women and girls. It is astounding how little femininity, grace, poise or elegance is lacking in the female race. There was once a beautiful and radical distinction; not so anymore.
Let’s work at being more graceful. And it is work! Some have a natural grace, and others must work harder. Grace can come in all shapes, sizes and personalities. Athletic women can be just as graceful as another; it’s not about your “bent” so much as it is about your desire to delight in being a woman.
One of the reasons I enjoy wearing skirts is because, as no one can argue, it causes me to carry myself differently–with more poise. If clothing did not affect our carriage, school districts would not be so concerned with the possibility of uniforms in school. Studies proved that students’ academic and social performance improved with tidier uniforms.
One of the reasons I try my best to get dressed in “real” clothes, fix my hair and wear at least a smidgen of make-up at home is because my family are the most important people in the world to me. If I desire to exude grace at all, I should desire it first for my family.
“Strength and honor are her clothing….she opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.”
No, biblical feminity is not oppressive, turning out bashful, foolish women. Print that verse off and put it somewhere where you can see it throughout the day. And pray that God would use your gracefulness and honor as a stark contrast against the backdrop of your world.
15 comments
I have also noticed the lack of feminine-ness while out in public. Sometimes it’s shocking! When we are out of earshot or if it’s on TV, I point it out to my older daughter. I also point out older graceful women who carry themselves beautifully. Unfortunately it’s easier to find examples of the former.
I agree completely, Kelly. Well said.
well said! I’m starting my journey of wearing skirts only and I can’t tell you the stares I get for dressing LIKE A GIRL! I don’t have many skirts or dresses but I’m getting there. I’m also working on things suck as a ‘meek and quiet spirit’ and being ‘humble.’ Once again your posts hits the nail on the head!
http://adlynmorrison.blogspot.com/
Well said Kelly. I too am a people watcher and I’ve noticed that it is rare to see a graceful, modest, and feminine woman. Nowadays it seems that it’s hard to tell men from women anymore. We dress the same, walk the same, and unfortunately speak the same way.
Kelly
To the readers, This post has me laughing! Today, Kelly made an unexpected (but much welcomed!) visit to my house. How does she find me? In my pajamas, no make-up and my hair hasn’t been brushed! NOT so full of GRACE! Wow, I feel sooooo convicted!! 🙂 Here’s Kelly looking so cute in her skirt set, hair and make-up perfect, and two of her precious children looking adorable (my children still in pj’s too). Kelly and I are pretty different in our ways but I am so thankful that God brought us together and that Kelly just loves me anyway!(AFTER she left, I put on real clothes and freshened up a bit!!) 🙂
LOL!
Susan you are hilarious–and yes, I love you in your pjs too!
(Don’t think we don’t ever have pj days 😉
Great post Kelly! Thanks for doing this series.
I completely agree with all your comments. My mom and I just started wearing skirts more about a year ago and we LOVE it! It makes us not only feel more feminine but, I believe, it allows the men to do more of the “manly” things because it distinguishes between the two genders (and certain “manly” activities cannot be done in a skirt). Especially in our culture where there is not much distinction regarding dress. Made me think differently of the phrase: “Who wears the pants in the family?”
Dressing more femininely has made me desire more “graceful” things. Not only that, but it has shown me how completely “different”, we as Christian women, should look and act. If you wear a modest, feminine looking outfit, you are automatically going to stand out from the modern-day culture. But isn’t that a great thing! Everything about us is supposed to be different because we are Christians. It wasn’t until I started to wear skirts that I truly began to enjoy “being in the world but not of the world” and celebrate and enjoy dressing in such a way as to proclaim God’s gift of creating me to be a woman.
Thanks again Kelly, you are a great encouragement to me and I know many others!
Lindsay S.
As usual, I appreciate this article as I have all the articles in your series so far and they really make me think! I agree that as women we need to reclaim more grace in this culture where there are not enough distinctions between the two genders.
I would disagree though somewhat that an emphasis on say wearing skirts is the answer or that walking with good posture will make people around you think more about biblical femininity.
For example, living in NYC, I see Orthodox Jewish women all around me as NY has a larger Jewish population than even Israel I hear! Anyways, these women wear skirts only all the time. They walk tall but it is a puffed up, noses in the air tall. They do not interact with the world around them because they feel better and their dress is so much a statement of that “betterness.” The thing that exudes from their spirit is not grace and femininity but extreme pride. They “wear” hautiness and thus, their clothing statements have no impact in terms of making anyone think “oh wow, what lovely, feminine women!”
No they are not Christians…hopefully Christian women who wear only skirts would do so in a more worthy manner but still, I think there are lessons to be learned. If nothing else, we can err just as much by getting to fixated on what to wear as in what we feel is not appropriate to wear as believing women. Some women will make a beautiful, feminine statement in a skirt or dress but not all. Let’s not fool ourselves by thinking we can take care of the inside by dressing the outside to put on some sort of facade.
Therefore, what I am saying is that if one feel the conviction to wear skirts most/all of the time, might I just say do so in a proper manner and not out of pride or to set yourself apart from the world in an exclusive sort of way. Assuming a women is dressing in a modest manner, NO dress or skirt can compensate for a character growing in godliness, what I think God really loves in a women and what I think gives her more grace than anything else-the wearing of a gentle and quiet spirit.
And now I see Kelly that this is likely what you’re getting at (the importance of wearing godly character) towards the end of this post and with the verse from Proverbs 31 but anyways, just wanted to add my thoughts regardless!:)
Excellent and accurate thoughts, indeed…we covered this in more depth on an earlier post about modest, and pants vs. dresses.
http://heartsforfamily.blogspot.com/2007/11/comments-wanted-pants-vs-dress.html
Pride is always a ploy of Satan, lurking around every corner. There are women who wear skirts only who are full of pride, I’m sure. And there are women who “pride” themselves on being “free” enough that they don’t have to worry about their dress at all.
It is definitely an issue of the heart…a heart that desires to please God cannot go wrong.
I’m interested in the history of dresses…does anyone have any insight into why, in the not too distant past, nobody was hung up over pants vs. dresses. Women wore dresses–and they loved it. Men loved it. It was just normal.
How did we evolve from that into women now being called into question if they want to wear dresses only?
I agree with Susanna Rose’s comments. God desires a meek and quiet spirit more than anything else. Very well said and thank you for putting it into perspective!
I have asked myself the same question, Kelly. Why are women called into question for wearing skirts now when it was the “norm” so long ago? Maybe I am stretching it, and this is my own opinion, but I believe that women who wear dresses and skirts more than pants are proclaiming their femininity and in doing that they are stating their difference from men and that is completely contrary to the feminist movement. Feminism cries, “Equality with men!” Wearing skirts and dresses cries, “We were created to help and complete men, not compete with them.”
Lindsay,
I agree…I want to proclaim my feminity with all the humility that is becoming a follower of Christ–and be able to wear skirts without the assumption of pride.
It’s a challenge we all must embrace!
I think that when pants for women became acceptable, women were happy to ditch stockings/girdles or pantyhose, slips, and high heels, because they are uncomfortable, especially if you have to wear them for 8 or 9 hours a day in a classroom or office. My grandmother (born in 1901) wore dresses all of the time, girdle, stockings and all. She was a full-time housewife, though, and when home alone, she would take off the girdle and roll the stockings down around her ankles and scuff around in old slippers. If anybody came over, she would excuse herself and put it all back on, unless it was an old friend. I wear dresses 50% of the time. Finding things to wear underneath them that are comfortable can be a problem. In the summer, a slip is hot, and my thighs stick together. Uncomfortable. In the winter, I must wear slips and cotton stockings. Again, uncomfortable. I tried out dresses-only for a few weeks with my husbands permission (he bought me six new dresses, because he loves seeing me in a dress). Then, once, when I was helping his mother get some stuff out of the attic, I put on jeans so I wouldn’t trip over the dress going up the ladder. My husband sighed and said, “I like seeing you in pants — you look relaxed, and I like seeing you look relaxed.” So, now, I wear pants about half of the time, and dresses the other half. I always wear a dress to church, because that is my conviction (I try not to condemn others) and I love dressing up, and church is my only chance.
Yes, and as soon as men could give up their uncomfortable clothing (shirts and ties and suit jackets) they did. It is hard to find men who “dress up” anymore — maybe just businessmen in offices. Comfort is the thing today, and casualness, for men and women.
I am glad you chose to share your hard work with people like me. I’ve been looking for this information and until now I only found it confusing. Thank you.