I’ll be championing the glories of homeschooling until the cows come home (that’s just southern slang for “the rest of my life” 😉 because I’ve been on every side of the debate, and I believe homeschooling wins on every level.
But without another drawn out pros and cons list, I just wanted to jot down some things that are close to my heart and life right now, and in light of this CA scare, just enjoy being free to share them.
Children are very much like little, tender shoots coming out of the ground. They can be easily trampled, bent, bruised and outright destroyed under the wrong exposure to elements. They require careful and CONSTANT tending.
When I hear a mom say that she needs to send her child to day-care “just for her socialization”, I cringe! What could be worse than a bunch of uncontrolled, selfish little people “teaching” each other proper social behavior!
Children need intense instruction in behavior, control, courtesy, speech and a whole host of other things pertaining to socialization.
When I hear, from the next room, “Give me that–it’s MINE!”, I recognize a normal, sinful attitude. Left unchecked, the two children in contention will volley their anger back and forth, until one gives in. Many children learn to interact this way and it becomes the standard for behavior for the rest of their lives. Habits are hard to unlearn.
As a parent, it is my job to stop what I’m doing, as hard as that can be, and go to the next room. I can then yell back about how wrong it is to yell (we actually do this, don’t we?), or with a calm voice I can tell my children WHY yelling is not an appropriate means of negotiation. I can remind them of what God says about it, spank if it’s a repeat offense, talk about self-control, and offer the child an alternative method of asking for his things.
This is time-consuming. And it doesn’t always look as serene and simple as I’ve described it. And I will repeat this session over and over with the same children. Nevertheless, it’s my job to persevere with my own reactions, remembering that these little occurrences, all 268 of them a day, are opportunities to train up my little tender plants.
It’s laying the groundwork for an adult who I know will face plenty of frustrations in his life, and will need to be equipped to respond properly in order to glorify His Father. It is the purest form of loving my children–by equipping them with the proper behavioral tools to be content, happy adults who do not have to take Prozac to function (although Prozac can be tempting, I must admit 😉 Kidding.)
(I apologize for the “stinging” reference to Prozac in this post…a reader pointed out the hurtfulness. See comments for a bit more about my thoughts.)
16 comments
Amen, Amen, Amen! You have such a way with words, Ma’am! What an inspiring and VERY true post!! Thank you for these great, thought-provoking words of wisdom. Your blog truly is one of my very favorites; I’m so blessed to have had the Lord direct me to this wonderful site!
You’re so right in what you said. When children(at times when they are by far the most impressionable) are shipped off to daycare, schools, etc., you’re just asking for problem after problem!
The whole “you must send your kids off to school for socialization” argument is such a myth. I can’t even begin to tell you how many people my family(and families we know) have encountered that automatically(just after a few minutes of conversation) say to us, “You’re homeschooled, aren’t you?” When we say yes and ask how the person knew, they always say things like, “Well, you have amazing social skills that I don’t see in school-going kids, you’re happier and more joyful, and you have better manners and life social skills than government school attending kids we meet”. Interesting, isn’t it? 🙂
Once again, thank you for this outstanding post!
Many blessings,
Rebekah, age 15
http://www.byhisgraceandforhisglory.blogspot.com
living_for_my_Lords_glory@hotmail.com
Yes, yes Kelly! Love this! There’s always a snippet out there to justify the many, many reasons we homeschool our little “shoots.”
I go through the same sorts of things that you do at home every day, Kelly. I hear ya.
I know you meant your comment about taking Prozac in jest, but I have to share how much a simple comment like that can sting. I take Prozac daily in order to bestfunction as the wife and mother I want to be. I’ve struggled with alot of guilt over this…many times because of a statement like this…I’ve wondered if I’m using it as a cop out and have tried to not take it…usually to the detriment of myself and my family. I’ve come to realize that I need to take my medication every day in order to function as well as I can. It’s no different then a diabetic taking insulin or a heart patient taking asprin. I didn’t mean for this to be so long or to sound like a lecture, I just want you and your readers to understand that taking something like Prozac that has such societal perceptions can be a difficult although neccessary choice. Thanks, Kim
Kim,
My deepest apologies to you…I guess “prozac” is the buzz word, often misused to represent the wrong things.
Actually, part of my jest was the personal wondering if I would function better with a little help, but also wondering how much of my life’s experiences, the baggage, etc., has caused so many of the struggles I have????
I guess my point was, yes, many of us mothers need or feel like we need medication to function…is that just “who we are”, or do our histories largely affect that need? Very curious…I do not hold you at ANY fault for taking medication.
I’m rooting for all the homeschooling families I mean I can’t believe they are doing this! It’s a real shame, parents these days can’t even teach their own children. Go! homoeschoolers go!
http://www.adlynmorrison.blogspot.com/
I’m a soon-to-be ‘official’ homeschooling mom in CA, although my oldest is only 4. This anti-family, anti-freedom, anti-American ruling, if not reversed, will affect the rest of the country down the road. PLEASE, let’s ALL be praying about this!
I feel as though I can’t comment on the homeschooling situation – as our kids are in public school. That’s best “for now” – ie: until I get the push from God saying “GO!” instead of “Hold…” But it seems to be as if the appeals decision basically said that parents do not have the constitutional right to educate their child as they deem fit. That there isn’t any “oversight” in case of problems. Where was their “oversight” when I taught my kids to crawl, walk, run, talk, eat, count, and ABC’s? Well before school steps in. What it makes me want to say to them is… Are you prepared to send our children to a government boarding school and convert the nation to socialism? Because I sincerely feel this is the first step in that direction. Again – perhaps I don’t have the right to an opinion on this as I am NOT a homeschooler. But not being one was a choice for our family based on our family… Not a governmental directive.
Your blog is uplifting for me…thank you! I agree with much of what you say. Yes I find myself yelling back – dont yell at your brother, sister ~ I do try to explain in a calm voice but I am not always successful (still a work in progress). I laughed out loud at the daycare statement. I get this so much from my own family..your children (currently the 2 yr old is being discussed) need to attend daycare to be socialized with children his own age. Oh My!! Have a great day!
This is another good post, Kelly. I feel a lot like Sparksfley in that I also have children in public school. But I still have great respect for homeschoolers(am planning to be one some day!), and the CA ruling was very disturbing to me. You are right about the importance of training our kids.
Sparksfley,
I think you’re dead-on with your assertion, homeschooler or not. And I appreciate your rationality and ability to see things as they are 🙂
You rock, Kelly. Keep up the good work! (blogging/teaching/mothering/etc…)
I know several mothers who claim to need “me time”….that one GETS MY GOAT more than anything. Sure you are already sending them off to school for 8 1/2 hours a day times five days a week times 13 years of their life but you can’t at least show up for their Christmas party because it will interfere with “YOUR ME TIME!”
They think I am nuts because I want to spend 24/7 with my children and control what they are taught, how they are taught, and by what methods….I guess I just don’t view my children as curses from God but rather blessings!
Sparkfley,
Actually, this isn’t (although it does appear to us as if it is) the first step that this nation has taken towards socialism. That began when Karl Marx(the “Father of Communism”) founded feminism here in the West(please be on the lookout for a post I’m currently working on, on the subject of the true history of feminism), for the purpose of destroying capitalism and dethroning God.
I highly encourage you and the other ladies here to read the outstanding book So Much More by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin. You will be shocked, as I was, when you read about the history of government schooling. I also encourage you to purchase from Vision Forum the booklet “The Prophet Speaks” which contains essays written by the very wise Robert Lewis Dabney. His essays on government schooling will shock you! It’ll very quickly make you, as a Christian, not want anything to do with government schools. Both of these books truly are very educational eye openers!
Blessings to you through Christ,
Rebekah
http://www.byhisgraceandforhisglory.blogspot.com
Kim, I have been on and off Prozac for many years. I know how you feel. I am not taking it as a “happy pill” either. Some of us have genuine psychiatric instability.
Great post Kelly. I really appreciate your blog.