It took me a hot minute to get from the classroom mentality, when I taught high school English, to the relaxed method of homeschooling we now embrace. But I’m so glad I did!
I wanted to post this article as an encouragement, certainly not as a “this is the best way” piece. Every family is different; some thrive and simply MUST have rigid school structure. But more often than not, I hear moms, dads, and children alike who are frustrated, discouraged and searching. They believe in homeschooling, but they never realized it would be so hard.
A friend of mine wisely pointed out to me,
“God gave us these children to raise, teach and train. It is hard; but it shouldn’t feel impossible.”
Then we went on to agree that basically, educating our children should include:
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- teaching them to love the Lord–number one priority (I would add to this that reading, reading, and reading the plain Scripture is a great place to start–or you could buy my Scripture Songs CD and let them learn it through song 😉
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- teaching them to read, and enjoy reading (good books)
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- teaching math, particularly “real” math for daily living
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- teaching them how to think, primarily through daily conversations and questions
Anything else they need to know, they will be able to learn when the time comes!
So, I just wanted to encourage you to take your mind off of all the expectations (especially from your relatives! I know that one is hard!), and look to God. I broke down in tears at the very end of our church service last week, when one of our elders closed with the verse,
“Faithful is He Who called you, Who also will do it.”
Praise God! He does not leave us alone!
Read this remarkable excerpt from Mary Hood’s book The Enthusiastic Homeschooler:
“It [relaxed homeschooling] is really just a mindset. It’s the idea that you are a family, not a school. You’re a mom, not a teacher. You don’t have a classroom. You have individual relationships with your children. Your husband isn’t a principal, because there isn’t really a school. He is the head of your household, a dad, and your number one supporter.
God didn’t create schools. he created families, because that was his plan for the training and nurture of children. He gave the job for the raising and educating of children squarely to the parents, and those who have abrogated their authority and turned their responsibilities over to other “experts” are short-circuiting their own success. There is no other earthly expert who can possibly know your children as well as you do. No one else will ever care as deeply for them. That’s why you are totally capable of doing this job successfully.
You were made for this purpose! You were assigned this job! God wouldn’t have chosen you if he didn’t believe in you and know you were up to the task.
Having a “relaxed homeschooling mindset” will free you up from many responsibilities, and make the ones you do have clearer and easier to fulfill. If you aren’t a “teacher”, you don’t necessarily need to make lesson plans, purchase teacher’s manuals, test and grade your children, or teach them every subject known to man all by yourself.
You don’t have to select a particular curriculum, and have everything in place every year on September first, the way a classroom teacher does. You don’t need to begin each day with a pledge to the flag, and divide the morning up into fifty-minute segments, each devoted to a particular subject. You don’t have to go from room to room teaching fifth grade social studies, third grade science, and first grade phonics. You don’t need to make a bunch of reluctant children sit at the kitchen table for hours laboring over boring workbooks.
What you do need to do is to set up a lifestyle of learning in your household. You need to understand each of your children as individuals, and make decisions about curricula and methods that recognize their differences; their strengths and weaknesses; their learning styles and personalities. You need to learn to set priorities and goals, so you have some idea of where you are going. You need to pause occasionally to evaluate your progress towards those goals. You need to communicate effectively with your husband, so you become true partners in this whole process. You need to learn to shrug off the criticisms of others, even well-meaning relatives. The only opinions that should really count are those of God, your husband, your children, and yourself. (Prov. 31:28-31)”
Wanna learn more about this fabulous thing called “relaxed homeschooling?” I’ve got it all in my quick, easy-to-read, how-to book!
59 comments
Amen, preach it sister! I am the mother of eight with two already “graduated”. Although I have tried to have the perfect, flowing classroom type schedule it simply has never worked. I tell non homeschoolers, “If you ever drop in on us be aware that it may not look like ‘education’ but there IS a lot of learning going on!” Our motto has always been, “Keep the HOME in homeschooling”. I want my children to have happy memories of HOME!
Thank you for this encouraging post! I, unfortunately, was taught in a very strict school way through ABeca – sitting 8 hours at my desk in the basement finishing homework that was tedious and repetitive. I hated learning for this reason.
I plan to have much the approach you make an example of. Taking the Bible itself and teaching from it, teaching practical life lessons!
I wondered if you have heard of the Principle Approach method? This is basically the official term of what you outlined in your post. Also instead of taking a subject and inserting Scriptural principles into it, it takes Scripture and pulls subject matter out of it instead! The method is genious IMHO!
Thanks for the encouragement, Kelly!!! I am NOT a gifted teacher, by nature, and when God called us to homeschooling (our oldest was only 2 or 3), I panicked. But, He called us, and He’s equipping me (my husband is a pastor/teacher). I rest in knowing He’s leading me daily. Yeah, we’re pretty relaxed in our approach. 🙂 We live in Iowa, where the mandatory school age is 6. Believe me, we don’t do any, ahem, “structured” school before that.
I have a friend who says, “I just don’t know if I have it in me to homeschool.” She has a 4-, 2-, and almost 1-year-old, and she currently does structured daily activities with the 2 oldest. I think, “Yeah, I couldn’t either, if I was that intense, especially already.”
What a refreshing post!! Wow, what a blessing it was to read this! I’m only 15, but am of course thinking about my future children, homeschooling them, etc., so this encouragement was such a blessing, and is definitely something to keep in mind for the future!
That book sounds wonderful! I look forward to purchasing it and reading it myself soon. I loved this quote: “God didn’t create schools. he created families, because that was his plan for the training and nurture of children. He gave the job for the raising and educating of children squarely to the parents, and those who have abrogated their authority and turned their responsibilities over to other “experts” are short-circuiting their own success” There were never meant to be schools! Training and educating the children is to be the parents’ job and responsibility! If you study history, you’ll soon discover that the founding of government schools was begun by people who hated God and desired to get Him out of the picture(this government schooling is a result and teaching of feminism as well).
Once again, outstanding post! You are such a shining light in this dark world!
Many blessings,
Rebekah
P.S. I am currently in 10th grade(I’ve been homeschooled ever since kindergarten, for which I am abundantly thankful!), and for the for Kindergarten through 9th grade, we did the strict ABeka stuff. We changed our approach this year. We still do ABeka for math and science, but I’m doing nothing but reading many, many books, and writing artiles and essays on feminism, history, theology, etc. I’m reading college-level books on history, theology, etc. I’ve gotten books from Vision Forum and other places, and through this new method, I’ve learned so much more in this one year than I did in any of my other years. The strict method of homeschooling isn’t all it’s cracked up to be! You can actually learn much, much more through your method than the strict one!
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