“A man will allow his woman many, many faults, as long as he knows that she thinks he is great. The very heart of reverence is extreme appreciation and profound thankfulness that this man, just as he is, has chosen to love me.”
A friend of mine and I were discussing the issue of marriage Sunday. She told me about an analogy she heard which I thought was worthy of repeating. Consider the following scenario as it relates to the way we should be viewing our husbands:
The telephone rings:
“Hi (your name)….this is the Lord Jesus. I’m coming for dinner tonight is that OK?”
“Certainly, Lord, I can’t wait to see you!”
You immediately go change clothes, fix your hair, brush up your make up, change the kids clothes, comb their hair, instruct everyone to tidy up the house, put on some beautiful music, light candles, etc. Then you prepare a beautiful dinner, with all the nice little touches you can think of, and have it hot and ready for the time he said he would arrive. You arrange the children sweetly around the dinner table, instruct them to smile and be welcoming when the Lord arrives.
Phone rings…
“This is the Lord again. I’m sorry, but I’m running behind. Looks like I’ll be 20 minutes or so late. Is that OK?”
“Oh, sure it is. I’ll just reheat everything before you arrive….no problem!
Did that story convict you? It did me. Because if you are anything like me, after going through all that trouble, and my husband called to tell me he would be late, I likely would not respond so graciously! And worse than that, some days I convince myself of how hard I’ve worked, and how I deserve a break, and I’m likely to barely greet him before I hand him a little one and sigh about how hard my day has been. (No matter that he has just slaved all day for us in the 95 degree, sickly-humid weather with no break from the heat!)
But in essence, and completely contradictory to the world’s message of marriage, our husbands are the kings of our homes. And treating him like a king does not cause him to “lord it over us”. Quite the opposite. It is his nature to respond to this kind of preferential treatment with love, care and complete adoration of the woman who is wise enough to care for him like that!
Debi Pearl writes in her book “Created to Be His Helpmeet” (excellent resource!!!):
“A man will allow his woman many, many faults, as long as he knows that she thinks he is great. The very heart of reverence is extreme appreciation and profound thankfulness that this man, just as he is, has chosen to love me.”
It takes time. It takes effort. It takes a full-time commitment to be that kind of wife. But it’s worth every bit!
1 comment
Great idea- we need to remember to do this especially with our husbands and with those that are close. It is harder to maintain respect or reverence or preference for those of whom we see a lot of.
I think every person should receive our forgiving graces, more often than we are willing…
Then we can be relieved that we have done what is right, and we might receive a better friendship from them.
I have heard from Dr. Dobson on a radio show that the main strife that exists between married couples is the power struggle. Many women will say that they wish their husbands would be the leader, or “lord” of their home. However, whenever a major disagreement comes along, she insists on her way, because she feels so strongly about it. In essence, in the matters that are most important, this type of woman always wins, and she ends up being the “lord” of the home.
Gee! Did I have my toes stepped on when I heard that! I have to work on that part. It is easier to give up on the little decisions, but the big ones are hard to give up. Yes, our husbands need to listen to our opinion and suggestions, but do we have the strength and faith to let him have the final word? Then, we may be amazed at the result of his decision if it is much better than we thought it would have been. Otherwise, we have to show him our forgiving grace…without saying, “I told you so!”
–B.