Home marriage Is He a Hero to Everyone But You?

Is He a Hero to Everyone But You?

by Kelly Crawford

“Seems I’m a hero to everyone but my wife…”

That was one of the lines from the movie Fireproof–perhaps a line that could encapsulate what so many marriages suffer.

I have been guilty. I struggle with appreciating my husband when there is so much to appreciate!

So many men find that others look up to them, appreciate them, respect them, think they’re talented and enjoy being with them, only to come home and feel unappreciated, not talented, not welcomed and disrespected.


It’s the only thing they really want–to be respected and appreciated. And it’s what wives often find the hardest to give.

Just like the movie, so many people wake up one day to find that things *suddenly* aren’t working. But, “it’s a slow fade…people never crumble in a day.”

Ladies, we can fireproof our marriages if we simply commit to appreciating our husbands. Try some lightheartedness, some forgiveness–the kind that overlooks a habit or weakness.

He wants to be your hero. And if he’s not, he’ll slowly shut down. Our families are worth losing all of ourselves to keep. Be his biggest fan!

On Valentine’s Day, we outfitted the banquet room connected to our house with a movie screen (my husband was brilliant 😉

With the help of a great team of youth from our church, we catered and served a romantic, candlelight dinner to around 54 of our friends and then watched Fireproof. I wish we had taken pictures of the dinner! At serving time, we were so busy it slipped my mind!

Here are the few pictures we thought to snap before dinner–there were so many hands on deck, I wish I had gotten more pictures.

It was so much fun, and I pray a blessing to everyone as much as it was to us. If you haven’t seen the movie, I highly recommend it, again! We may even purchase some to give away.

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Kim M. February 16, 2009 - 7:18 pm

What a neat idea! I LOVE that room! I am imagining now the romantic setting…. wish we could have come too 😉

Kim M. February 16, 2009 - 7:20 pm

I understand what you mean. I remember women gawking at my husband on a particular trip to see my family and it made me realize that I had better pay him some compliments myself. If our husbands hear how wonderful they are from other women, then the temptation will be there if they have to come home to constant nagging and no appreciation. You are so right.

Gombojav Tribe February 16, 2009 - 7:55 pm

My husband and I have seen Fireproof. We are showing it to our marriage and family cell group this coming Friday!

Bethany Hudson February 16, 2009 - 8:36 pm

It’s up next in our Netflix queue, and I’m looking forward to seeing the movie 🙂 I hear what you’re saying, too: Our husbands really do want to be our heros. I remember, when my father left my mother for another woman, the one thing he kept saying was, “She doesn’t need me.” Apparently, his mistress did. Not that this in any way excuses his behavior or choices, but I think it gets to the heart of something that most wives would like to ignore and most husbands are hesitant to speak up about: our husbands want US, as their wives, to NEED them. Sometimes it’s hard to need them when we think we can do everything better and more efficiently ourselves–or when our husbands fail to help out even when we repeatedly ask them for that help. But, so much of that can be evidence of bad habits or poor communication. Deep down, men want to be heros to their wives. They want to be needed, respected, and appreciated.

Mrs. Lady Sofia February 16, 2009 - 8:51 pm

That was very kind and hospitable of you to open your home and serve other couples on Valentine’s Day. What a lovely idea!

Your message about us wives being more appreciative about our husbands is so true. I think we all struggle with this. I’m currently reading a book entitled, “Created to Be His Helpmeet,” which explains how we need to be more thankful and grateful for our husbands instead of bickering and complaining. Such simple advice, but difficult to do at times.

I will try to watch the movie, “Fireproof” in the near feature.

Karen (Canadian Soldier's Wife) February 16, 2009 - 9:20 pm

So true – one of the best bits of advice I ever read was to always find ways to let your husband be your “prince” or your “knight”.

Great post 🙂

Michelle (She Looketh Well) February 16, 2009 - 10:15 pm

Hi Kelly, I love that idea, we too want to have couples over and as a family serve and bless them and show Fireproof. (we don’t quite have the set you do thought 🙂

It is so important for them to be ‘heroes’ in our eyes. Awhile ago I started a series of posts called Endless reason I love my man… I add to it when I can, it has blessed my husband so much, and my daughters as they see how to be thankful their daddy.

Thanks for the reminder.


Sarah R February 17, 2009 - 6:56 am

Bethany is right on track here, also. Men want us to need them!
For example, I’m 5 foot 4. My hubby is right at 6 feet. We have a small pantry that is more vertical than horizontal. I store long term items up top. Now, I could very easily grab a step-stool and get the extra bag of sugar or flour on my own, but I call him and say, “Help me, I’m shorttttttttttt!” It always makes him smile. He’ll hop up and make this great show like I disturbed him terribly, get my wayward bag of sugar, then kiss me on top of the head and say, “Anytime, shortie.” Could I have done it myself? Sure. (although even with the step stool, I’m still struggling up there!) My hero came to my rescue!

Dani February 17, 2009 - 8:39 am

Thanks for this post, it was something I needed to hear.

Ruth February 17, 2009 - 9:20 am

Timely post, Kelly.

If you ever get around to doing the giveaway… just send one off to this Jamaican girl. 😉

I can’t ever seem to win these giveaways and I have not been able to find ‘Fireproof’ on the island… still searching.

Word Warrior February 17, 2009 - 10:01 am


Ooh, a Fireproof giveaway on the blog is a good idea.

In the mean time, we bought ours from Amazon.com–cheaper than retail. Got it in a few days. Is that an option for you?

Also, Netflix has it now–we subscribe and it is GREAT. (Those are rentals you order by mail.) Is it a problem to have those shipped to the island?

Dee February 17, 2009 - 10:55 am

My hubby, 2 grown sons & I watched Fireproof Valentine evening. So many lessons both for married couples and young men hoping to marry some day! I've already ordered extra because I'm giving mine away today!

Sarah February 17, 2009 - 11:09 am

That sounds like a really great (and fun) activity! My husband and I just watched that movie last night (he gave it to me for Valentines Day!).

Kelly February 17, 2009 - 5:14 pm

What a fabu idea! Our church served a sitdown dinner to kick off our new Hispanic Church and as a Valentines special. My daughter and I got to help serve. Then they showed “Fireproof” in Spanish. Such an awesome blessing! My daughter declared she wants to see the movie in English becausse it looked so good in Spanish!
Also, you have spurred me to write another e-mail to my hubby to tell him how great he is. Thanks (as always) for the reminders!

madgebaby February 17, 2009 - 8:15 pm

I really do think that mutual respect is the cornerstone of marriage–and that has to be demonstrated, not just assumed.

I endeavor to find some way to show this every day, and so does he. It is invaluable to marriage.

Manda @ Lambs In His Arms February 17, 2009 - 11:00 pm

I loved the movie Fireproof. And I love the idea of inviting others to join in watching it! Thank you for this post and the important reminder that my husband needs my respect and admiration!

royalblood February 18, 2009 - 4:34 pm

Oh i wish my wife could read this lol
Take care…
Gods richest blessing to you and your family.

Ruth February 19, 2009 - 9:56 pm

I think I would need a credit card for that, Kelly… but I’ll see if there is another option.

(Never thought I’d ever need one of those) 🙂

Word Warrior February 19, 2009 - 10:43 pm

Ruth–if you’re talking about serving that many people–we charged for the meal 😉 Or we would have needed a credit card too.

Ruth February 23, 2009 - 12:40 pm

Oh no, no, Kelly…not what I meant at all! I meant that I would need a credit card to purchase things online. LOL. We have never thought of getting one…maybe it’s time.

Word Warrior February 23, 2009 - 12:44 pm


I’m so goofy…I didn’t go back and read your last comment about ordering so I had already “lost the connection”…not hard with my brain 😉


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