Home abortion Having Babies & Birth Control: Man’s Wisdom or God’s Sovereignty?

Having Babies & Birth Control: Man’s Wisdom or God’s Sovereignty?

by Kelly Crawford

This excerpt from a recent comment left by a reader on an earlier post (How Far Does Human Wisdom Go) gives opportunity to expound on some things regarding God’s wisdom versus man’s wisdom.

Interestingly enough, her apparent anger comes as a surprise to me, considering that the post she commented on was very “questioning” in nature, basically raising questions for us to consider, and not so much of “this is the way it is”. Perhaps it was some of the other comments that made her angry? Nevertheless, I felt it prudent to address a couple of her comments.

She writes:

“The real trick isnt merely studing scripture til your blue in the face about how God thinks children are blessings. it is gaining PERSONAL INTIMACY wioth God on what is right and congruent to his will for your life….and if people here beleived in that, they wouldnt have black and white conspiracies on the ‘right way to go’, and worse..kepp speaking about it.” …. idealogy isnt in Gods vocabulary anymore, since we sinned. it wont be as perfect as it could have been. Living in reality, and coming to this conclusion was harder for me than subscribing to this rule and that rule and turning practically the entire bible into black-and-white issues. thats the EASY way out. you never have to grow in wisdom….think for yourself, or out of the box. Instead, you remain stunted. Realize that just becasue you all embrace these truths doesnt give you the right to use it to shame others. Ive heard the argument time and time before that it is simply becasue you have to speak the truth that you say these ‘truths’. Well realize the implication and damage you can do, and it being intentional and deliberate just may have you placing yourselves in judgment. God also is for FREEDOM….we do not have the right, in clear conscience, to harm another brother or sister in God, though we may hurt them by telling them the truth. it takes wisdom to know what that difference is. i think the line is crossed here.” [sic]

I’ve spoken before on my reservations about crossing the line of “personal intimacy with God” as a sole means of determining God’s will. Certainly, personal intimacy with God is to be coveted; but to use it as the “all powerful measuring stick” of what God’s will is can lead us down a dangerous path of spiritual relativism….that is, when humanism (there are no absolutes–what’s good for me may not be good for you) wears a religious cloak and we lose any shred of standards and absolutes. God’s Word has been given to us for a reason; to reveal His will. Any issue we can think of is addressed, directly or indirectly, through His revealed Word. He has not left us to flounder around, using only our “personal feelings” as a guide to His will.

Let me be clear…many issues do not have absolutes from Scripture. However, many do. And some absolutes can be made based on principles from Scripture. Such as, abortion…it is not addressed verbatim, but from the principles of Scripture, we can discern that it is wrong.

I’m am not advocating that birth control, which is the topic being discussed here, is an absolute, in every case, from Scripture. I do feel strongly, though, that we can’t just dismiss the desire to discern God’s will about it based on a flippant “the Bible doesn’t address it, so I’m FREE.”

Again, I offer for this reader, and any others struggling through this topic, to consider man’s wisdom in this light:

Wisdom is required where action is required. I must seek wisdom and exercise it in mattes of decision-making. Buying a house, taking a job, going into the mission field, adopting a child, etc. These all require that I DO something, and therefore I pray and seek wisdom about what God’s will is. Do I choose A or B?

The issue of having children is not such. I don’t have to DO anything to have a child. The process is a supernatural one, put in motion by God, from the beginning of time. My body operates just as it should. My reproductive organs are not a sickness from the curse, for which I must take medication.

The Bible makes no provision for preventing children–none. (Unless you pray A LOT.) Contrary to that, it makes every provision for having them.

If we are discussing man’s wisdom, tell me, what is WISE about medically altering the normal function of your body? I’ve brought this up before. Bible aside; the miracle of life aside; can human wisdom justify the act of breaking what works normally?

(Paragraph revised…)
If you want to say to me, “We didn’t want anymore children so I got fixed.” Fine. But, barring some specific reasons you felt led to that (medical, etc.), to disguise it under “man’s wisdom”…I’m just not sure.

The other tricky part here is, in using wisdom to make a decision such as which house to buy, the implications of the decision affect our lives only. But to make a decision to prevent a life, is, well, preventing a life! Our wisdom can’t reach far enough out to know those implications.

Once again…I don’t talk about this because I want to “shame” people or condemn them for decisions they have made. I have many, many friends who have stopped having children, and my intent is not to go around pointing fingers. I’m addressing a “tide” in the church. A trend that has slowly turned our hearts away from loving children the way God loves them. Away from building His kingdom the way he put in motion to build it. I’m begging you to be careful…to think…to exercise a “fear of the Lord” in all things. I love you!

God created a masterpiece when he formed His favorite part of creation–you and me. Imagine Da Vinci, unveiling his Mona Lisa for the first time, and I, a peon of an art connoisseur, tilt my head and say, “almost right…but her smile is…” and then I walk up with an eraser and proceed to “fix” it….

Thoughts to ponder 🙂

Read original post HERE

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God's Dancing Child March 31, 2008 - 10:46 am

Kelly, thank you for sharing this. My heart has been heavy for several young women I know concerning the issue of birth control, and oddly enough, this article brings me peace.
When I read this commenter’s post, immediately I saw a red-flag for humanism – whatever each person wants is good, leave them alone. “idealogy isnt in Gods vocabulary anymore” Is the first GIANT red flag, and the commenting becomes so engulfed in spiritual relativism that.. well, my heart aches for this person who has listened to the lies of satan – that Scripture is not always right and doesn’t always lead the way for us. It’s a scary place to be.

I am always promoting your blog, and it seems that I will be again! God’s blessings.

Stephanie March 31, 2008 - 12:46 pm

Hi Kelly,

I just jumped in after not reading for a few days. I get what you are saying about common sense and human wisdom, but this statement you made threw me off:

“””If you want to say to me, “We didn’t want anymore children so I got fixed.” Fine. I’m not going to accuse you of being in sin. But, barring some specific reasons you felt led to that (medical, etc.) to disguise it under “man’s wisdom”…I’m just not sure.””””

Are you saying that women who have chosen to follow medical advice regarding their health and future pregnancies are in sin??

Word Warrior March 31, 2008 - 1:13 pm

Oh…that doesn’t read right!

No, that’s not what I was saying. I mean, if you want to prevent children “just because”, then just say so.

If you prevent children for a serious medical reason, the “human wisdom” argument may have some merit, just tread carefully.

The “sin” part was, either way, I’m not going to say a person is in sin for practicing birth control.

I think there can be serious implications for making these decisions, which is why I feel so strongly about talking about it. And I think human wisdom can be a poor excuse sometimes for things we choose to do.

Does that clarify at all? Maybe the same statement without the mention of “I’m not going to accuse you of being in sin” would be clearer.

I just wanted to clarify that I’m not projecting that anyone who practices birth control is in sin. But that “human wisdom” doesn’t go very far, in my estimation, of preventing a life.

Stephanie March 31, 2008 - 7:42 pm

I figured that was what you meant! Thank you for clarifying. These are such important issues and I appreciate the courage you have to approach them!

Kim M. March 31, 2008 - 8:49 pm

Wow Kelly,

You have a lot of courage approaching such a topic! It’s not a popular thing to take the “narrow” way in regards to child bearing. And it seems people can be very cruel. I recently met one lady who told me that her family suffers a lot of persecution because they have ten children.
I think that is so wrong! People are horribly judgmental and seem to think that it is the one topic they can be cruel and judgmental about!
I personally had my tubes tied back when my third child was born. According to my doctor, I had to have “medical intervention” to bear my kids in the first place. Meaning… C-sections. I chose medical intervention to stop (tubal). Sad to say, I have experienced regret for that decision at times. I don’t remember doing a large amount of praying over the decision either (which I should have!)
What do you think of this type of scenario and also… how do you address the huge debts we experience in child bearing (hospital fees, etc when we have to have C-sections, surgeries, etc.)
On the other hand,I have noticed it seems that a lot of large families seem to be extremely blessed financially. “Blessed is the man whose quiver is full”…..
I am open minded about this topic. Convenient huh since the deed (tubal!) is already done…..

Word Warrior March 31, 2008 - 9:50 pm


I know you are new to the blog, as there are new readers each day, which is why I often revisit old topics. I’ve written dozens of posts on this issue, addressing everything from financial problems to health and beyond. You may want to go back to some of the older posts to get more detailed “expounding”.

I believe firmly, probably more firmly than most, about the sovereignty of God over the womb. I believe it for many reasons, some of which I may post again in a new entry tomorrow.

If I believe God is sovereign over everything, the womb cannot be excluded. He ordains life and He opens and closes the womb. He knows our struggles and often has solutions to our problems that are far better than what we could have imagined.

My main concern with the issue of children and birth control, is that the more prevalent bc has become among the culture, including Christians, the less value is attached to children. It proves a slippery slope and I feel a strong urge to “shake up” our thinking. Like you said, you made the decision without giving heavy thought and prayer. Many people do. I want to change that. (I also think most doctors are “taught”, whether they even know it, to discourage child-bearing…thus all the warnings about health problems related to giving birth…actually preganacy and child-bearing is a proven state of health and most of the time lends health benefits to the mother.)

(BTW, I have quite a few friends who have had reversals done at “ministry cost” and have enjoyed more children! 😉

Sheila April 1, 2008 - 11:30 am

Hi, Kelly. I was first drawn to your blog when it was entitled “Birth Control Debate.” 🙂
Regarding God’s sovereignty, there are many who believe God set the world in motion, and that many things occur because of “nature” or biology, etc. Whether a person believes that or not, NO ONE can argue about His sovereignty concerning the creation of human life. We are each made in God’s image – every human being. Not just the “wanted” or the “useful”, but EVERYone. Did God only form David’s inward parts and know him before he was born? Or, Jeremiah? Did God open/close only the wombs of the Old Testament women (or New, for that matter)? I refuse to believe He’s a “hands-off” kind of God, especially concerning the creation of humankind.

Kim M. April 1, 2008 - 1:59 pm

Kelly, Thanks for your response.

Sometime I will look through some of your older posts about this subject…

Thanks again.

regrets April 2, 2008 - 11:05 am

I have been reading some of the post about birth control,and it has really touched a nerve..i had a tubaligation 7 yr’s ago after the birth of my third child,and have regretted it ever since..at the time i was not seeking God’s will in my life,and my husband and everyone one else wanted me to go through with it..i had doubts even then, i do believe that was the lord speaking to my heart..but i went through with it anyway..if i could go back in time i would..its too late for me, but i want people to know that it has affected my body in a very negative way..my periods have been messed up ever since,sometimes lasting as long as 2 weeks,and severe cramping at times,not to mention very, very moody, major weight gain that i cannot keep off,(i was very skinny before),and when i go to the dr. they all want to either put me on birth control or do a hysterectomy..not to mention i sometimes feel as though i wasnt through having children and will cry when i see a newborn,longing to have another one…i cant afford a reversal,so i just pray every month that God will heal me..I just wanted to share in hopes maybe someone who is thinking of having a tubal will change their minds…this may not be the case with everyone but in my experience it was…

Word Warrior April 2, 2008 - 2:05 pm


My heart aches reading your story..and yet, I’m so grateful that you have shared it here. You may never know how your experience could affect the life of another.

Unfortuntely, because of the flippancy with which we (as a culture) treat the subject of BC, I’ve heard many women share your sorrow, only too late.

That is one reason I keep talking about this…I just see so many problems that could be avoided if we handled it more seriously.

Take heart…God is sovereign, even when we do things we wish we had not done. He can still work all things out for our good and His glory.

My real appreciation for your comment lies in that you are willing to admit your “regret”, instead of bristling up in defense. Thank you!

regrets April 2, 2008 - 8:53 pm

You are very welcome..im just hopeing someone will learn through my ‘huge’ mistake and maybe rethink their decision..
I have a totally different attitude now then i did then..i know God made us to be able to have children..and did not expect us to tamper(so to speak) with his will for us and for our bodies..thats not to try and make anyone feel bad for a decision they already made..its just the truth..my ‘only’ little girl cry’s all the time because she wants a baby sister..it does break my heart..and if it is God’s will i know he can still make it be..i have heard of that happening before..but i am taking one day at a time,and putting God first(then all these things shall be added unto you)..and knowing whatever he has for me will be done…thats all,i just want to serve him the best i can..and be the best mom and wife and Christian i can be..anyway i didnt mean to actually get off on that..just wanted to say that i am trusting God,and believing he has my best interest at heart,and he know’s what is best for me and mine:) God bless you all…and thanks for letting me ramble on..lol

authenticallyme June 2, 2008 - 1:22 pm

ok, i feel my post was misunderstood, and the point lost.

im allowed to be angry when i read theology and doctrine stated in such a way, that it shames and guilts people. i see many people trapped in shame. its sad.

unfrotunatley, and maybe you are blind to it Kelli……but much of what you write in youir blog DOES indeed come off as a “this is the way it is” mentality. possibly since you ruffle feathers, this only seemingly reitterates to you that you must be doing the right thing, exposing the ‘real’ truth, because others get so annoyed with it.

i really dont see what im trying to get at, grasped here. you may grasp part of it, and then debate against it, but the point is being missed. and no matter what i or anyone else comes up with-its shredded apart in the next post.

i thought we as sisters in chrsit are supposed to accept one another AS WE ARE TODAY and strive for unity. god chooses different paths for people…..he has an intricately laid out plan for the world and each of us plays a part.

i think the world would seriosuly fall apart and hang on a hinge if tomorrow every woman wore a dress……because fundamentalist christians would no longer have anything to talk about! what would you all focus on then? what if everyone finally lived exaclty the way you say we should (god didnt say all these things…….been there, done that)? if your focus now is god, what would it be then?

Word Warrior June 2, 2008 - 2:13 pm

I’m sorry you think we “major on the minors”. I DO understand grace and freedom. But I also understand that a soul ransomed with Christ’s blood has an intense desire to honor, fear, please and live for the Lord; to be given to works, to be consumed with obedience. That’s just biblical stuff.

Jesus said He would spew the lukewarm out of His mouth. I’m seeing a church full of lukewarm Christians, living and looking so much like the world I can’t tell them apart.

“A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am the Father, where is My honor? And if I am a Master, where is My reverence? says the Lord of hosts…You also say, ‘oh, what a weariness!’ (speaking here of sacrifices and obedience) And you bring the stolen, the lame, and the sick;…Should I accept this from your hand?” Malachi 1

It wasn’t the ACT of bringing sacrifices to God that He was furious about. It was the HEART of flippancy, irreverence and nonchalantness.

Our God is jealous, demanding reverence and honor…even after the blood of Jesus has been shed. He is the same God. Full of love and compassion ONLY because of what His Son did, and yet desiring above all else, OBEDIENCE out of our love for Him.

It’s not one or the other–all grace or all obedience. They go together…obedience BECAUSE OF grace.

“To obey is better than sacrifice.”


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