5 Ways to Help Your Children (By Nurturing Your Marriage)
A lot can be wrong in a family, that unity between husband and wife will make right. It’s about STABILITY, one of the most important factors in a child’s life.
When there is harmony, unity and a sense that Mom and Dad are on the same page, children feel more secure, an ingredient that strongly promotes their ability to thrive.
I know I take this for granted a lot. I often am not deliberate enough in my efforts to nurture my relationship with my husband. I can be too busy, too careless with words, or simply too sparing of gratitude, often leading to unnecessary disunity or a feeling of tension.
Ironically, we can often let our care for our children supersede our care for our marriage. But if we want to do something good for our kids, we need to start by doing something good for our marriage.
I decided to think of 5 ways I could easily nurture my marriage…perhaps you would like to join me and offer your ideas!
1. Start the day with affection, kind words and gestures. Can I bring him his cup of coffee, smile at him, and greet him with a term of endearment? Being nice to a person with whom we are over-familiar may take a little deliberate effort, but it’s effort worth making.
2. Flirt with him. Why do we stop doing this when we get married? Don’t get so consumed with the day’s business to forget to be playful with your husband. It can change everything.
3. Think before you complain. Often when we complain about something, our husband may take it as a slight against his ability to provide or make us happy. I need to remember this! Along these lines, we also need to replace criticism, which is so easy to give, with gratitude.
4. Remember his need for intimacy. His physical needs are just as important to him as our emotional ones. Sex makes him feel connected. It’s just like that.
5. Play jokes. Laughter brings unity and a sense of togetherness unlike anything else. Don’t get too busy to have fun!
9 comments
Kelly,
Thank you! ! I needed to hear this today!
God Bless!
Cj
“Start the day with affection, kind words and gestures. Can I bring him his cup of coffee, smile at him, and greet him with a term of endearment?”
Since my husband doesn’t drink coffee, am I off the hook for the rest of that?
Just kidding! Seriously, I need a lot of work with that one because it’s so easy to keep telling myself, ‘I’m not a morning person…never was, never will be’. It’s an effort just to get going in the morning, never mind being cheerful and affectionate on top of it. (Maybe I should take up coffee drinking, and he can bring me MY coffee!) 😛
I need to remind myself regularly, though, that that is what marriage is: sacrificing “who I am” (and we women can be deceived on who we really are) to become who the Lord created me to be as a helpmeet for the man he gave me.
Your whole list of 5 ways to nurture a marriage is very good, and your speaking of unity right from the first sentence of your post is so important. Kids will play one parent against the other when they sense disunity between their parents, and there’s no stability in that. The guidelines are shifting depending on who’s in charge; there’s no predictability, no sense of “this action” = “this response”. Tough to grow up that way.
Thanks for the post, Kelly. Really enjoyed this one. Now I’m going to have to think of a good joke to play on him! 😀
Always appreciate your insights 6 arrows!
Thank you, Keri, and I yours. I always look forward to reading your comments. 🙂
Yes I would LOVE to join you! I love your list and you’re right…it is so easy to get swept away by the day to day caring for our children and home that we fail to take care of nurturing the marital relationship FIRST! Thanks so much for this post.
This is wonderful Kelly, thank you!
Great advice Kelly! As the kids get older there seems to be so much more of these things just come naturally because I’m not so exhausted.One of our biggest challenges now with older kids still in the home is saying something or doing something one of them might hear or see..lol. My husband whispered something to me one night(it really wasn’t that bad) and our 25 yr.old son looks at us and says..”Could you two keep it Rated G”..we about died laughing!!
I love your advice and already follow most of it which does REALLY help in our relationship. Always a challenge about not complaining though ! But so true about the way they hear it , despite how we meant it.
I think I need to add the jokes one though, as I tend to be the more serious one . This will be fun, I’ll start thinking right away and maybe get the children’s help ! : )
Laughing together is such a great way to bond with someone you love !
LOVe this!!! Wonderful reminder! It can be so easy to loose sight of these simple yet important ways we can strengthen our marriages! ((hugs))jen