I’ve really enjoyed mulling over your comments/experiences from the last post. I’m constantly struggling between “speaking the truth in love”, and being allowed a little “righteous indignation” when it comes to responding to comments about our large family.
Someone mentioned the difference between genuine curiosity and just rudeness. That distinction should definitely be made. I LOVE genuine curiosity; I love to debate, and I love every opportunity to “change the world”, so when someone is simply inquisitive, I’m in hog heaven.
“Press on, dear ones. Those who have never seen a garden harvest would surely scoff at the sweaty man digging around in the dirt!”
By the same token, I almost welcome the rude remarks, simply because I want to be able to use every opportunity to plant a seed, and ultimately turn the tide of thinking among Christians.
But just how to do this? Just how to make thought-provoking “come backs” without an air of pride, or without returning the rudeness?
I have thought a lot about the way Jesus handled questions and accusations. It is fun to try and imagine what HIS response would be….”You hypocrites! Know ye not that the Scriptures say ‘ be fruitful and multiply’, and ‘the fruit of the womb is His reward?’ “
Or…”It is written, (you brood of vipers), as arrows are in the hand of a mighty warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.”
Keep in mind, he wasn’t speaking to pagans!
Well, I don’t know if I’m that bold, or even want to be. Other times, Jesus was much more gracious in His responses. But it’s food for thought, since the adage of the day is, after all, “What would Jesus do?”
I guess the reason I think so much about this particular thing is because I know we didn’t just arrive where we are (children are not a blessing) over night. Someone once said that if you hear anything enough times, you will eventually believe it.
Maybe, as mothers and fathers who embrace the blessing of children, it’s all about withstanding the ridicule and even “rejoicing in our persecution” in order to speak the truth until people believe it. Maybe, a simple quotation of Scripture is sufficient. If it is spoken in love, we know it’s the truth, so there you have it!
Press on, dear ones. Those who have never seen a garden harvest would surely scoff at the sweaty man digging around in the dirt…so let us labor for the harvest!
4 comments
I don’t know if you remember reading the post I wrote a few months back announcing that we were expecting our fifth child, but I also sent the same message in an email announcement to friends, family, and fellow church members. The fact that I wasn’t there in person to hear all the ridicule and I had a captive cyber audience really made a difference to those believers who saw me after reading that message. True believers don’t argue with Scripture, and some expressed appreciation for what I did. They still didn’t want anymore kids, but some did say they viewed large families differently, and I guess that’s a start!
I greatly enjoy your blog, and it does deeply touch my heart. My hero husband and I have 6 children on earth, one on the way, and two in heaven, one the result of stillbirth and one the result of miscarriage. It wasn’t always as easy to say this, but I have chosen to embrace and rejoice in God’s will for me, and to receive and celebrate over each and every one of the children He wants to give me, for as long as He decides do keep my womb open. It goes without saying that I too have been the brunt of jokes and have withstood comments, criticism, and even daggers from especially my close friends. I used to feel like I was the one who had something wrong, but I’ve slowly and painfully come to realize that it’s they who are the ones in error. And yes, to hear my own dear friends and family make ‘cute and witty’ jokes about the size of our family does deeply pierce with how far away from God’s word our churches have gotten…..
But I will press on, press in, onward, and ever upward. I will fight the good fight of faith, right along with you, and I’m so glad there’s more than one of a family like us out there!
In the battle together~
Leanne From Longview WA
What a blessing your comment is, to me, and to the many others out there reading this blog!
When I was PG with my daughter in 2006, my OB told me she had 2 women in her practice who were expecting #5. Both women and their husbands were excited and happy about the pregnancies. However, according to my OB, both women had been crying in her office about the horrible reactions from their friends and family! I thought this was SO sad.
I remember when I was about 13, one of my cousins just had baby #2 (a boy) and had a 3YO girl. She was about 25. She announced at a family party “I’ve got one of each and I’m DONE. I’m getting my tubes tied.” Most of the family cheered her on. That just seems to be the norm. Hurry up and be DONE!
Oh and one more — when my daughter was a few weeks old (I had her at age 43), I ran into a woman I know from my oldest son’s hockey teams. She was surprised to see I’d had a baby. She said she was the same age as me. She announced “My youngest is 17, and I’m almost DONE. If I were pregnant again I’D KILL MYSELF.” Now, I’m sure she didn’t mean that literally – but how SAD.
It just seems to be the norm so often. Get married in your 20s, have 2 kids before you’re 30, hurry up and get sterilized so you can have lots of money and toys, an expensive house/SUVs, and be DONE by the time you’re 45 or so to “enjoy life.”
I don’t get it. What does everybody mean by DONE? Aren’t you a parent forever? That’s what my mom tells me — she is almost 69 and sis and I are 40 and 44. She says you are never “done” being a parent. I don’t get that whole mentality.
I’ll be 61 and DH will be 60 when DD graduates from high school. We say she’ll keep us young.
Your blog is a breath of fresh air, Kelly. I don’t always agree with you 100% on everything but I always enjoy reading and think you have a very refreshing, very Biblical view on the blessings of children.
God bless — Lisa
Sorry for babbling on so long.