Home feminism They Want to Destroy Marriage and the Family

They Want to Destroy Marriage and the Family

by Kelly Crawford

They Want to Destroy Marriage and the Family

“Marriage has existed for the benefit of men; and has been a legally sanctioned method of control over women… We must work to destroy it. The end of the institution of marriage is a necessary condition for the liberation of women. Therefore it is important for us to encourage women to leave their husbands and not to live individually with men.” from “The Declaration of Feminism,” November 1971.

(By the way, for those who have asked why I must say I am “against feminism”, need I say more?)

When I first started this blog, I was keenly aware that the family was suffering, but I mostly thought it was an “accidental” result of a culture’s turning away from God. But over the last year, I have become more appalled at the outright admittance of the attack on the family.

I thought everyone generally believed family was a good thing, but knew there were problems from broken homes and divorce that must be resolved.

I was not fully aware that so many groups and organizations view the family as a cancer on society that needs to be aggressively destroyed.

And so when I talk about “slippery slopes”, and the danger of women flocking to the work force or closing their wombs, I want you to look beyond even those topics, and see the underlying intentions of destroying the family, understand my urgency to fight for the family, and then make the connections and see how successful their campaigns have been.

Those are dots worth connecting. It’s easy to get upset with people who make blanket statements like…”Women need to be home with their children.” But those statements aren’t just my opinion or my attempt at being intrusive on others’ lives. I see past the “issues” and am trying to get to the root of a much bigger problem.

Here are a few quotes to confirm what may seem like a radical claim:

“The care of children ..is infinitely better left to the best trained practitioners of both sexes who have chosen it as a vocation…[This] would further undermine family structure while contributing to the freedom of women.” –Kate Millet, Sexual Politics

“If even 10 percent of American women remain full-time homemakers, this will reinforce traditional views of what women ought to do and encourage other women to become full-time homemakers at least while their children are young…. This means that no matter how any individual feminist might feel about child care and housework, the movement as a whole [has] reasons to discourage full-time homemaking.” ~ Jane J. Mansbridge, Why We Lost the ERA, p. 100 (and you wonder WHY feminism ATTACKS home-making?)

“How will the family unit be destroyed? … the demand alone will throw the whole ideology of the family into question, so that women can begin establishing a community of work with each other and we can fight collectively. Women will feel freer to leave their husbands and become economically independent, either through a job or welfare.” — From Female Liberation by Roxanne Dunbar.

“The nuclear family must be destroyed, and people must find better ways of living together. … Whatever its ultimate meaning, the break-up of families now is an objectively revolutionary process. … “Families have supported oppression by separating people into small, isolated units, unable to join together to fight for common interests. … — Functions of the Family, Linda Gordon, WOMEN: A Journal of Liberation, Fall, 1969.

Being aware that there is even a fight at hand is the first step to being able to fight it.

Read more from noDNC.com–Feminism is Dedicated to the Destruction of Family


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Civilla December 16, 2008 - 7:34 pm

Wow! That is scary. What can they be thinking?

Angela December 16, 2008 - 8:45 pm

And this is only one group that is attacking the family. Civilla is right. This is scary.

As Christian wives and mothers, we must pray, pray, pray for our own families. We also must mentor others to have strong families.

Kim from Canada December 16, 2008 - 10:45 pm

These are the organizations that are lobbying our public school systems. That’s how they get to our kids. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of homeschooling!
Most women do not realize what feminism is really about. Great post.

amy December 16, 2008 - 11:06 pm

It is a scary thing, and one of the worst parts is how so much of the church today is following the world in this. It slowly seeps in… little by little the church embraces more and more of this false doctrine until it is those who stand on solid, biblical ground who seem “scary.”

So many churches today are embracing things that society deems good and/or okay. It’s as if they have tried so hard to be “relevant” that they have allowed our culture to rub off on them. So in the end the church looks no different than the world, in fact it looks as though the church is following the world.

Aren’t we supposed to be in this world but not a part of it? Weren’t we told that we are going to be persecuted and scorned?

Our society devalues families and marriages, and slowly the church is following. If anyone should be standing firm and showing others what marriage and family should be, it’s Christians, yet so often today we can’t tell a Christian family from a non-christian family.

If so much of the church continues to follow society, there will be very little Truth, little love and little example. To me, that’s the most frightening part.

Ollybeth December 17, 2008 - 12:54 am

I’m having difficulty finding anything about “The Declaration of Feminism” that doesn’t come from anti-feminist websites. Does anyone know where I can buy/view a copy to read it for myself? A lot of it seems engineered solely to produce outrage among conservative Christians. I’m also having trouble finding anything out about the supposed authors or even the periodical it was apparently published in, which negates the idea that it is some kind of official guideline for all feminists. Apparently the only people citing on it today are those already opposed to feminism!

In any case, since many feminists I know are married or at least cohabiting (self included), I doubt they’d say the document, if it exists, represents them. There’s no feminist “Bible”, no central document you can turn to and find out what all feminists really believe, because feminists are such a diverse group, and don’t always agree on everything.

Annette December 17, 2008 - 8:56 am

Thank you.

I would like to add that there are many women out there who don’t truly understand what feminism is. It is NOT a movement that respects women, their God-given roles, or their human rights! Quite the opposite. But deception is how the devil works, and the truth is that feminism is against everything that God has provided to naturally promote security and happiness for women.

Regina December 17, 2008 - 9:23 am

I found your blog through the LAF site and have been reading your blog for about a month now, always saying “yes, yes, yes.” After reading amy’s comment, I think I may need to find a new church: I attend a big church, not really a mega-church, but quite large. I recently added twin girls to our family and took a few months off of serving in the children’s ministry. We are finally getting out of the house with some efficiency so I returned this week to teach a Sunday School class. I was greeted by a lady who works full-time for the church’s children’s ministry and had her first child at the about the same time I had the twins and she went back to work when the baby was 6 weeks old. I couldn’t believe it. I was wringing my hands about leaving my 3 month old babies in the church nursery for 2 hrs and she dumps her tiny baby in a daycare for more than 8 hours a day so she can “serve the lord.” I just don’t understand how so many people can profess biblical christianity yet practice worldy assimilation.

Word Warrior December 17, 2008 - 9:29 am


The very issue you bring up–and Amy brought up is why this blog is here. Not to speak to “the world” about the destruction of feminism, but to speak to Christians–the people, as Amy said, who are supposed to be modeling the love of home and family and teaching others to do so. When we lose it there, where is the hope?

It seems so harmless–that subtle creeping in of feminist philosphy…”What are you going to *do* when you grow up?”

We need to be saying “Lord willing, you are going to be a great trainer of soldiers when you grow up! You are going to have such a wonderful home where ministry can flourish through your family!”

HOME…The center of outreach. If no one is there, it is not home.

Kathy, Jeff's Wife December 17, 2008 - 9:38 am

Annette is right!

“but deception is how the devil works, and the truth is that feminism is against everything that God has provided to naturally promote security and happiness for women.”

It is pure deception! Just as Satan engaged Eve in the Garden, “Did God really say you couldn’t…”

Women can not have a balance of family and work out side the home. One will do without while the other is getting what it needs at the moment.

Parenting is a full time job, meant to be done my PARENTS.

Just as the song you posted yesterday says, it is a slow fade, crumbling families do not happen in a day, and our culture is crumbling, because we reject God’s ways.

Kathy, Jeff's Wife December 17, 2008 - 9:40 am

“HOME…The center of outreach. If no one is there, it is not home.”

Amen Kelly! The HOME is the most powerful mission field for evangelism and discipleship today!

Sara December 17, 2008 - 10:35 am

Ollybeth– I wondered the same thing. I’m a feminist, and while I can’t say I’ve read everything every written about feminism, I’ve read enough to suspect that the Declaration of Feminists only exists in the minds of fear-mongering conservative Christians. Kelly- can you give us a link to the original source, or at least tell us where you found the quote you cited?

Word Warrior December 17, 2008 - 10:37 am


The source for the quote is in the post, at the bottom.

If I have time today, I will be doing a little more research into “The Declaration of Feminism”.

Jen in Al December 17, 2008 - 10:40 am

Thank you Kelly!!! It is truly eye opening to read the intentions of feminists in their own words. whether or not people that claim to be feminists say these principles speak for them or not this is the truth of what it stands for. This is what it’s founders and biggest champions designed it to be about from the very beginning. When we believe it stands for something else we have been deceived. I have had what feels like a bucket of ice water dumped on me on more than one occasion when the Lord has shown me that a particular thought pattern or habit has it roots in feminism. Unfortunately the Body of Christ as a whole has not held firm to the truth of the Bible. We have a lot of renewing of our minds to do…i know i do!:) Thanks you again, Kelly! blessings, jen in al

Truly Fulfilled December 17, 2008 - 11:00 am

Off topic, you used to have a link on the side of your blog called, “The Harsh Truth About Public Schools”. Can you get me that link? Thanks!

Word Warrior December 17, 2008 - 11:03 am


I can’t remember the exact link I had up, but this is one…

Word Warrior December 17, 2008 - 11:17 am

With only minimal research, I have found multiple articles that reference to Linda Gordon’s article which was quoted in this post–“The Function of the Family”, even by non-feminists sites.

These quotes were not made up…they exist for everyone to see.

This is a college course study with required reading…

I haven’t even looked at The Declaration of Femiinism, but I’m sure I’ll find the same to be true.

Maybe those feminists who do not feel a kindred spirit with these articles need to reconsider their feminists positions. We’re all for “women”…

The reality is that the hardcore feminist agenda is truly about oppression–of every kind. Most people just don’t realize it until it’s too late (consider communist countries that crept into their positions. It started with the subtle break down of roles within the family.)

sparksfley December 17, 2008 - 11:25 am

This comment isn’t to your post, specifically, but what popped into my head as I was reading. I’ve been married 10 years, and I have two boys. I recently left full time work to come home. My son has a congenital heart condition, and my husband finally had health insurance through his work. By recently, I mean it’s been all of a month. Let me be honest… While we felt it was the best decision we could ever make for our family, I am really really struggling. I feel like I’m failing at everything! The house isn’t cleaned up, the money seems to be slipping through my fingers, I just feel like I’m not on the ball, even though I’m busy all day every day doing what needs to be done. I’m exhausted, and feeling like I’m not doing anything right! Anyway, I guess I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for listening.

Word Warrior December 17, 2008 - 12:15 pm


Part of me wants to hug you, part of me is laughing (with you, though you’re probably not laughing), but all of me says, “Hang in there”…anything wonderful and noble and good is HARD.

Don’t let the difficulty of a task determine the accuracy of your decision.

Mothering, homemaking, helping your husband, assisting in the finances–it’s a FULL time job, which is what I’ve been saying for years. It IS exhausting, but once you’ve firmly planted your feet and heart in it, there is nothing more rewarding at the end of the day (OK, maybe at the end of your life 😉

Practically speaking, give yourself some grace–you’re new at this! We are all always honing our schedules and tweaking our routines to make things run smoother.

Find your family’s “rythm”. Don’t try to imitate another family’s routine. My neighbor gets up at 4:30 in the morning. The thoughts of that make me want to crumple.

I’m doing good to get up at 7:30. But my husband works late, and lots of times the whole family is up late, so we adjust.

Find what works in the way of routines and experiment.

Delegate as much of your household responsibilities as your children can handle. You’re a manager too, remember that.

And above all else, remember to love them–your husband and children. Smile at them, hug them, read to them, and play with them. If you accomplish that and little else, you’ve succeeded.

I’m rootin’ for ya!

Nicole December 17, 2008 - 12:18 pm

SPARKSFLEY – It took me about 11 months of staying home after my daughter was born to finally feel at peace at home. If I would have done the below things sooner, I am sure the transition would have been smoother and come more quickly!

I really struggled myself (and still do sometimes) to feel as if I was really accomplishing anything at home. Getting deeper into the Bible has helped, I have never read the whole thing, don’t know what’s in it aside from the regular “sunday school” stories, but I’ve started and it’s amazing how God is speaking to me.

Another thing that has helped me is to consciously take

“One Day At A Time.”

No, I cannot make the entire house spotless, catch up on all the piles of laundry, and make three gourmet meals today – it is too much! BUT, today, I can pick up in the living room, clear the kitchen counters, and have some hot sandwiches ready for dinner. “rome wasn’t built in a day” and neither can you try to instantly master keeping house in a day – I tried and kept making myself miserable – so, One Day at a Time, it is!

Hope this helps some.

Michelle (She Looketh Well) December 17, 2008 - 12:43 pm


Hang in there. I too would like to hug you and tell you it will get better! Though I can say after 21 years of homemaking and being a mama I am still learning. I have recently realized, that I will be learning all my life, this is good.

I was not raised in a ‘Titus 2’ environment, I have had to learn EVERYTHING from the ground up.

One thing I know for absolute sure is that this is THE most worthy calling…godly wife, godly mother, homekeeper…being all the bible calls me to. Get that settled in your heart right away and you will be far better off.

Study, pray, read all you can. There are so many good materials and blogs out there that encourage and lift up the biblical role of womanhood, (this blog is one of them, for sure!)

You, with the help of Christ, can surely do this. Trust me, if this mama can, most anybody can!

Clinging to His Faithfulness!

Sara December 17, 2008 - 1:40 pm

I don’t doubt that there are articles or quotes by so-called feminists that I would disagree with. Just as, I’m sure, there are quotes and articles by so-called “Christians” that would make you shudder. That being said, I don’t see why it’s so difficult for you to admit that while it’s easy to find horrible stuff written by feminists (We’re certainly not a monolith!) that there’s far more to feminism than “destroying the family” and address mainstream feminism.

Word Warrior December 17, 2008 - 1:45 pm


The truth is, regardless of “modern feminism” or radical feminism, there is harm in all of it, and the slippery slope connects them.

We’ve seen that reality played out. Since the introduction of feminism, in any form, families have coninued to fall apart at alarming rates, abuse is on the rise, societal ills are more rampant than ever–the reality is that feminism has done nothing to help society, only aided in its continual destruction.

My question is, why can’t we see that? If it doesn’t work, let’s ditch it!

Kathy, Jeff's Wife December 17, 2008 - 2:10 pm


Take one day at a time! It is a slow process and you will always be adjusting and learning new things. We are all learning, or should I say un-learning the culture norms.

One of the wonderful things about the blog world is that there are TONS of other moms in your shoes, having the same struggles you are, we are also helping each other. Well, except those that are tearing people down that is! (you know who you are…big wave!)

My husband became self employed about 3 ears ago, and what a roller coaster ride we have been on. It is TOUGH! But that is OK, it makes us so dependent on God, realizing how much we NEED Him…EVERY HOUR!

Please feel free to ask questions.

God is faithful.

Civilla December 17, 2008 - 5:57 pm

Wow! That was some post. I read the link. I graduated high school and got married in 1970.

I remember reading all of that stuff back then, and although I would never have considered myself a radical feminist (I didn’t burn my bra or let hair grow on my legs or underarms), still, that kind of talk was very seductive to us back then.

It started with “the pill”, and then all the radical feminist stuff came right on its heels. It all seemed so right! And, I wasn’t a Christian.

After I was married a year, I started attending a fundamentalist church, and over the next few years watched things go downhill as feminism began encroaching on even that fundamentalist fellowship.

Yes, it was, as Kathy, Jeff’s Wife said, “Yea, hath God said we couldn’t?”

So, now, I am and probably will always be a recovering whitewashed feminist. It is hard to get those ideas out of your head when they’ve been so ingrained.

Civilla December 17, 2008 - 5:59 pm

Oh, and Sparksfley, yes, hang in there. Staying home is something today’s woman has to train herself to do. It is not easy.

About the 12-year mark in our marriage, after some serious marital problems, I felt from the Lord that I needed to stay home instead of work. That was a very, very hard adjustment, especially since I had no children to keep me busy. But, I was committed, because I knew that it was what the Word of God said I should do (and I was not forced to work due to finances or anything).

I admire you for taking the plunge.

authenticallyme December 17, 2008 - 7:36 pm

I am thinking ‘feminism’ has probably been around to some degree, since the beginning of time.

I can see what Sara is getting at in that Christian ‘extremists’ can potentially give all Christians a bad rap. In that instance, we cannot exactly say “all of it is bad”; just like a lot of ‘Christianity’ out there today is simply truth distorted, likewise I am sure feminism has too been distorted. It is not fair to lump anyone who subscribes to what someone has interpreted as black-and-white feminism…all into the same category. I do not even like the term, ‘feminist’. It makes it sound like all that person consists of *IS* feminism, and therefore that person has nothing good in them? Much of todays ‘feminism’ is simply desiring decent treatment, and fairness…I hardly call that feminism, though. Some as[pects of feminism and the bible can fit together….nothing mentioned in the original post, of course, but I feel that is a very distorted version of todays feminism. I hardly meet anyone, or see anything in books, on TV…in the movies-that subscribes to what was written in the original post.

Word Warrior December 17, 2008 - 10:59 pm

AM, (copied from my reply to Julie on the newest post…)

The way I see it, is that if you want to know what a tree will be like when fully grown, you consider the roots.

Feminist roots are full of anti-family, man-hating propaganda.

Perhaps the problem is in our definition of terms…you don’t have to label yourself a feminist to believe women are valued. The whole point of my blog is to illustrate just how valued women are in the eyes of God.

But I’m not teaming up with a group of women who have openly hated family and marriage to get my point across.

It’s like saying, “Well, I know there are some nice Nazis”…maybe, but why line yourself up with a clearly harmful agenda?

I fight against the harm of feminism. If there happens to be some feminists who love family and marriage (and I’m fully aware there are plenty), that’s another issue. I’m still going to fight the damage that continues to be done by the feminist movement.

Ollybeth December 18, 2008 - 12:54 am

I didn’t come here to debate the tenets of feminism, since I know we’ll never agree on that, only to point out that the article you’re using to highlight your point is dubious at best, and also almost 40 years old even if it does exist! I’m sure you could find plenty to disagree with from feminists writing today, particularly the radical (radical meaning they believe the only way to change the flawed system of dominance and power is revolution, as opposed to most feminists nowadays, who are incrementalists) ones.

You say “Feminist roots are full of anti-family, man-hating propaganda”, but are Christian roots much better? Among those who carried out the Inquisition, the Crusades, the witch-hunts, the wars between Catholics and Protestants, the colonialism and genocide of various native peoples, you’d have been hard-pressed to find someone who didn’t acknowledge Jesus as their saviour. You give feminism a few decades to plead its case to a hostile audience and declare it a failure, when Christianity has more than a thousand years of social dominance and a believing population to attempt to improve things all round, and it hasn’t worked. “If it doesn’t work, let’s ditch it!”

The point is that all movements have badness within them, often speaking in loud voices, and if you want to know what the people on the ground really think, then you have to ask them – that’s why I read this blog and others like it – and chances are you’ll get a lot of different answers even then. I don’t believe you support slavery, which was supported by prominent Christians with Biblical quotes; but I’m not going to say that anyone who has a problem with slavery ought to renounce Christianity at once in recognition of the evil its followers have done. I don’t deny that Christianity has some worthy beliefs and worthy causes and has done good things as well, because I know the group is not a monolith, and when its adherents are thinking people, it’s not a “slippery slope” to any of the atrocities of the past.

Word Warrior December 18, 2008 - 8:34 am


The “roots” of Christianity are found in the New Testament and the glorious Redemptive story of our Christ, if you want to read about the roots of Christianity.

The feminist movement, however, continues to slaughter babies in the name of “rights”, and if that were the ONLY fault I could find with them, that would be more than enough. It’s a legal genocide started by a woman akin to Hitler. (No one want to really dig into those roots.)

And yes, the anti-family, anti-marriage agenda still reaches into modern feminism, even though not every woman may personally claim it. (Not all feminists are even aware of the full agenda of the feminist movement or its roots.)

Christianity is the only system that ever liberated women, raising them to a level equal with men and allowing them to flourish in their gifts and strengths.

All feminism–early or modern–has done is continue to degrade women in a twisted, ironic way, and tear families a part. You can’t fault me for being against that.

Word Warrior December 18, 2008 - 8:47 am


To further contradict your point that “the roots” of feminism have little to do with modern feminism, consider this writing by Brooke N. Benjestorf in “Feminist Activism for the College Grrl”…

“A great jumping off point to building feminist theory is to learn the history of the feminist movement. This will make clear to what has already been accomplished and thus what still needs to be done. It will also help you to see where the women’s movement has failed, which will help you to know which mistakes to avoid repeating. Some great books to get started on this are Tidal Wave by Sarah Evans, The Feminist Memoir Project edited by Ann Snitow and Rachel Duplessis, and This Bridge Called My Back edited by Cherrie Moraga and Gloria Anzaldua.

Another great way to build feminist theory is to read some of the famous theory written by the “superstars” of the movement, like Susan Brownmiller, Shulamith Firestone, Kate Millet, Andrea Dworkin, Gloria Steinem, bell hooks, Naomi Wolf, etc., etc.”

If modern feminism doesn’t take its cues from the founders and perpetuators of the radical movement, why are they encouraged to study their agenda and build their theories on top of it?

authenticallyme December 18, 2008 - 10:41 am

One more thing, and maybe this should be in the newer post, but I am wondering if and how women doing ‘mens’ work would fall under feminism at all?

Meaning, if I wanted to learn how to mow my lawn, in the event Id ever need to know how to do it (husband ill, no money to pay for it, church not coming to aid, etc)…does that constitute being decevied by roots of feminism? What if I *enjoy* mowing my lawn? Tiling floor? Drywalling my attic? What if I even have a fully functioning husband and just enjoy doing them myself? What if, to make a few bucks, I take my girls around the neighborhood and we all shovel snow for people?

I am wondering what the concensus is, if these things in and of themselves make me feminist? This isnt a loaded question, I am just curious to see what others think, or how its viewed.

authenticallyme December 18, 2008 - 10:10 pm


Was my first post(for this thread) offensive? Did I say something that was out of line, that it could not be posted?



Word Warrior December 18, 2008 - 10:38 pm


No just so off topic–and too time-consuming to answer. What you described is, like Civilla said, basic human rights–we’re all for those. I’m addressing the blatant (and many of them aren’t ashamed to say it), anti-biblical, anti-family agenda of a large sect of the feminist movement.

It is disheartening to see Christians uphold and defend such teachings.

Kim M. December 19, 2008 - 12:27 pm

Kelly Great post! Been really busy lately but wanted to comment on something that I feel is so important!

I also disagree with the posters that call this fear-mongering. If you cannot see what feminism has done to our society, then you are pretty blinded in my opinion. Children are the ones who suffer the most when Mom says “me first”.


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