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“Life is good…guess what I’m dreaming about?”

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh,” he whispered.

“Yes, Piglet?”

“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw, “I just wanted to be sure of you.””

God is faithful in every way,

See it here in these peas we picked yesterday.

A friend called to tell us their crops overflowed,

So we got the free food from the seeds that they sowed.

Shellin’ peas on the porch with my children around

Most landed in place with a few on the ground.

We laughed and we talked and a few songs we sang,

Intermittently threw in a Veggie Tales refrain.

(Still don’t know what “I ‘Aint Got No Belly Button” has to do with peas *shrug*)

We talked about blessings that flow from above,

We talked about hands that work out of love.

Tonight we’ll have peas and it seems for a while,

And we’ll eat every time with our pea-pickin’ smiles.

My youngest daughter (18 months old) has entered “the moment of truth”.  It is crucial, IMO, that child training starts very early–even as babies we begin using certain words to get them familiar with our expectations, but between the ages of about 1-3, training is intense…they are

testing the waters

     checking the boundaries

                          making sure the perimeters are in place–’cause it’s going to be a scary world if they’re not.

It is AMAZING how much you have to “be on top of it” to teach these little ones and work through their fallen natures.  It is almost constant, which reinforces yesterday’s post about the necessity of  “being there”.

Number one rule I’m being reminded of this go-round:  They know and understand SO much more than we think!  Just because they can’t talk in full sentences doesn’t mean they don’t understand your words.

I called for Kyla to come to me very clearly, and she ignored me.  I began walking to the kitchen to find a spanking “disciplining” utensil and she immediately said “OK” and started walking briskly toward me.  Nice.

Since we are dealing with it full time, I thought it might be helpful to post some of the things we are working on–it’s easy to forget sometimes what should be expected and how to practically carry out the training.

1. Come here.  Teaching our children to come to us when we call them is really important.  (Especially if you ever find yourself in a crowded parking lot and the little one has gotten away!)  And please, for the love of all that is motherhood, DON’T count to your children 😉
2. Stopping the fuss.  This is our biggest issue.  Little ones are very prone to whine/squeal/scream when they want something or something isn’t going their way, simply because of their lack of vocabulary and practice.  They need you to be always ready to guide them to the right response.  I might react to a typical squeal by saying, “No, you may not scream…if you want that cup you say “Please”.  Would you believe after a few days of working on this, Kyla needed the chair pulled out and she started to fuss and stopped herself and said “Pees”.  It works, I promise.
3. No.  Most children don’t have trouble learning this word, but we need to try to be careful to use it in a calm tone, making sure they understand it “universally”, in every situation.  It really bothers me to see a mom yelling “no” at her children in public.  But they need a firm understanding of when to stop doing something.  Sometimes we say “no ma’am” or “you may not”, or whatever.
4. Sharing.  Sharing is a tough one for littles who think they own the universe.  Again, it’s more of a matter of talking to them, reminding them that “so-and-so had it first, you wait for them to get finished”…and then discipline if the protest continues.
5. Patience.  Or self-control–it is highly important to begin when they are little!  For example, at the table Kyla gets impatient when she is hungry.  So she fusses and holds her plate out.  We just try to remember to tell her to “be patient” or “wait–don’t fuss”…consistency is the key.  If she continues to fuss, we may lightly thump her leg while speaking the command in a normal tone of voice.
6. Helping.  It’s never too early to teach them that they are helpers–part of the family.  One of the first jobs I give my little ones is throwing away their diapers.  They usually love it!  Just tell them “go throw it in the trash” and walk them to it a few times and they catch on quickly!  Always lots of praise when they pick something up or try to help.

Very simple things, I know, but it is remarkable what a difference staying consistent in this early training phase will make on their behavior later on!  Our children are as normal (and sinful) as can be.  But I’ve really never had major discipline issues (i.e. children hitting me, throwing tantrums, calling me bad names).  I’ve mentioned before that I think it’s a sad commentary when someone points out your “well-behaved” children.  I think well-behaved children should be the norm.  It takes work for sure, but it certainly isn’t rocket science ;-D

P.S.  I would kindly ask that you refrain from anti-spanking comments.