I’m not sure I could love this more. Jen, at The Beginning of Wisdom, dropped plenty of wisdom in her post, On Daughters & Dating: How to Intimidate Suitors.
Having just started walking through our first experience with suitors approaching, this article articulated what I had not yet, but what has given us great comfort through it all: if we raise our children in strength and dignity, if they know Whose they are and find their value there, then the process of approaching marriage is much simpler.
As the article says so aptly:
“Instead of intimidating all your daughter’s potential suitors, raise a daughter who intimidates them just fine on her own. Because, you know what’s intimidating? Strength and dignity. Deep faith. Self-assuredness. Wisdom. Kindness. Humility. Industriousness. Those are the bricks that build the wall that withstands the advances of old Slouchy-Pants, whether you ever show up with your Winchester locked and loaded or not. The unsuitable suitor finds nothing more terrifying than a woman who knows her worth to God and to her family.”
We so desperately need Christians to return to raising children with a transforming faith that changes the way they live, and especially the way they prepare for marriage. Read the rest of (Daughters & Dating.)
8 comments
Wow! This was so insightful. We have raised two daughters who didn’t date until they found someone they might be interested in marrying {purposeful dating} and they didn’t flirt. They knew CLEARLY who they are in Christ. They waited upon the Lord to write their love story and He wrote two amazing love stories! They are both very happily married and so happy they saved themselves for their husbands. The same concept works for sons. My last child, a son, is getting married in 6 weeks to a 25 year old godly, amazing woman who had never even kissed anyone before meeting my son. His wait was WELL worth it! My older son married a young woman who had never kissed a guy before him either. It is the most wonderful thing to know all your children walk in Truth and married godly spouses.
“Raising Daughters to Intimidate Their Own Unsuitable Suitors”
That line alone made me want to read you a sonnet.
Lol!
There is one quick way to scare off really unsuitable guys: when they ask how you feel about sex, say, “Oh it’s a great creation by God, I want lots of babies!” Then open the door for him so he doesn’t knock it down running..
It’s worth raising your boys this way, too! Its notoriously true that “nice guys finish last.” Sadly, men of character are not of interest to the majority of young women who do not know their own worth.
Our young persons should not be afraid there aren’t enough Christian members of the opposite sex. There are. They should not be tempted to lower their standards. Remaining strong in their faith will make them more attractive. In my opinion, there are few reasons why Christian men or women should turn 25 without being being married or heading to the alter at least. There are some reasons why it could be delayed; serious health problems, a calling to serve in dangerous areas, a calling to a profession that requires many years of study, etc..but these are not the rule. People most be proactive about this most important issue.
Thank you! Thank you!
Sharing this with the Ladies’ Bible Study!
That is very awesome. I just got blown away like I’m in church.
Last night at our fundraising booth, one of her coaches told me she is so confident and so….. different. She meant it as a compliment and I took it as one. I am grateful to God that He has shown her who she is in Him ( I waited until I was 27 to accept this). All other opinions are so insignificant in His awesome truth.
This, in itself, goes back to another post where it was discussed that maybe parents do not have to exert so much control on adult children during a courtship/dating with purpose.
I love this so much!