This verse is so convicting to me. How often do I contribute to the pulling down instead of building?
Interesting, don’t you think, that the “woman-demeaning” Bible, as feminists would like it portrayed, gives us such a strong job–BUILDING. (Not to mention that we are to wear “strength and dignity” while we build.)
How is this building fleshed out? What does it look like to you?
I think of encouraging words, tender eyes (while a child takes way too long to make a point), patient answers. (Far too often I do not own these “nails and boards.”)
And the harder stuff of less-glamorous grunge.
Of a word fitly spoken.
Of working with my husband, not competing against him.
Of a heart-felt talk just at the moment you’d rather drop into bed.
Of stopping what I’m doing, knowing the squabble is not an interruption, but an opportunity to share the gospel, again, with these disciples of mine.
Tonight as we were preparing supper, one child was putting salad in the bowls, another wanted to stir the pots, a couple were frankly underfoot in the way, and my son was washing up some dishes. We were chatting. It wasn’t a gee-jolly homeschool family moment.
It was a normal, working side-by-side moment. Not a spectacular moment, but a pleasant one. And my son said, “Isn’t it easier when we all have a job?”
Smile.
“It is so much easier. Thank you, Ashton, for helping me.”
We’re all building. Together.
I have quite a bit of enmity against anything that even hints at weakening the family. And I don’t apologize for that. It’s way too often the subtle things that are so destructive. Like silent termites, eating away until it’s too late. Families are composed of people, and I care about people. I care about families.
Once we diminish the importance of this building, and look to our own progress as individuals, it becomes tearing down.
Let’s build.
12 comments
That is very convicting to me right now. God has been showing me ways I need to be building up, instead of pulling down my family. I need to tie this verse to my forehead so that every time, I am looking only at me, God can remind me of His Word.
Thank you for what you do. May God richly bless you and your family.
I love this!
Kelly,
Thank you for this important verse of Scripture! Unfortunately, I was busy knocking down yesterday instead of building up, so this is quite a timely post.
Sometimes, in my attempt to correct I end up being more like a nagging parent. I forget to include Scripture and fail to ‘turn their hearts to their Father.’
Fortunately, we have His perfect grace and mercy to repent and to do a better job next time! Praise God!
I am thankful for your ministry!
Building, a great focus for me, thanks. tammy
This reminds me of the time I told my husband that I would no longer stay awake late at night(when he comes home) so that I could wake up eary and go walk the neighborhood. (Can you tell I didn’t ask the Lord about that one?) I was tired of being chubby. He asked me when we would get to talk if I did that. The solution…I stay up late and we talk and I am still chubby but very loved and happy. Thank you for your excellent posts—so very helpful.
I really liked the comment your son made, “It’s it good that we all have a job?” This shows that he is learning good godly principles from his parents (that was supposed to be a compliment to you – smiles).
Anyway, thank you again for another excellent message. It’s SO easy to “tear down” a home with our selfishness, but it requires much love and work to keep a home and the people who live there standing firm in the love of the Lord, and oh, how sweet that love should be.
We have so much influence as women! Thank you for posting this.
Very convicting and true. I can tell that it’s usually my fault if the day crumbles.
Hi Kelly,
I read your post and find that much of it resonates within me…I know my attitude often has contributed to the overall sudden ‘downward spirit’ in the home, and i need to be careful with my voice’s ‘tone’….sometimes ive grown insensitive to its power.
But, this part in particular, I wanted to share on:
***Once we diminish the importance of this building, and look to our own progress as individuals, it becomes “pulling down”.***
Maybe I dont understand the exact perspective or angle you are trying to hit here, so Ill wait for your reply….but I know for me, it is important for me to continue developing and exploring on an individual level. I am not saying this is abover and beyond imporrtance of my family, but neither is it necessarily lower on the hierarchy either (though I dont believe in hierarchy). Meaning, when I was a child, and young adult, I was very passive, and had no confidence or esteem…..I ddi not know what I liked, enjoyed, or what I was even good at..where my talents lied. It took until AFTER I bore my 4 girls that I seemed ‘ripe’ to explore who I really was (in truth) and what I liked; what I could contribute to the world. So, for instance, I attend 12 step meetings, I go to counseling, I enrolled in ballet, and I am taking a mosaic class. Of course, this all takes time away from my family, as I am ‘outside’ the home. But, I feel more purpose as an individual, now that I can also have my *own* interests as a woman, wife, and mother. And I am enthusiastic to go and develop those gifts. I do not really equate my responsibility to my family as higher, lower, or the same as my self-responsibility; rather, I look at them as fluid and congruent (am i using that correctly?). Meaning, both areas of my life are in constant development and learning, and my role as a wife and mother is a huge part of who i am as an individual, and likewise, my role as a separate person and my responsibilities and gifts to my family, are blossoming becasue I work on myself as an individual. Things might not look in my life, as they do for the nect Christian mom and wife, because I was soooo far damaged/wounded do to not having a solid upbringing, and as a young adult I did not have or know/understand the tools I needed to begin overcoming those wounds. I hope this makes sense. I tired to type more slowly and knit it together. I’dd like to hear your feedback, as well as anyone else’s, as I sometimes think that due to internet ‘barriers’, I misinterpret the whole of what you are saying, when we speak on specific subjects, more minutely.
AM
Oh brother, I am embarrassed over my typo’s and misspellings. lesson learned: dont tell your kids to double check their homework, if I dont double check my own communications. grr.
God brings this verse to my mind daily! And my kids remind me as well. 🙂