It is nothing short of God’s goodness to have the desires of our hearts be slowly unfolding before us. We have longed, for some time, after years of being separated by so many hours of work outside the home, to have a family business where all of us could work together. We haven’t arrived yet; but little by little, our wedding business is growing and it looks as if within a year or so, it may be able to sustain us without my husband’s other full time job! (We would continue the 2 or 3 small side incomes.)
My husband is one of the hardest workers I know. For years he has worked excessively to pay down our debts and maintain our family. We’ve thought a lot in the last few years, about what a Christian is called to concerning work. Balance is so essential! While we must remember that God is our ultimate Provider, blessing the labor of our hands, we also realize that battling the curses of debt requires us to do hard things, which competes with our time together and sometimes our sanity. It has been kind of crazy!
This is our first full year to have the wedding business. And let me just say, lest you think otherwise, there is very little glamor (if any), and a whole lot of hard work. Self-employment is not less work, but it is freer work.
The sweetest revelation has come to me as our family has been working alongside one another. I could talk about the value of home business for children, but I’ll save that for another day.
Last weekend, my husband and I went out for a romantic evening at Sam’s Club where we loaded up two huge carts of groceries for the coming wedding, strained to get them to the check out and breathed a sigh that we could finally go home (sipping coffee on the way, of course).
Unbeknown to us, our business account has a “security spending limit” which we exceeded. After the cashier tried too many times to ring the sale, our bank put a security hold on all our accounts and we stood there, $650 worth of groceries (and 2 hours of loading) unable to pay, even though the money was in our account. We finally got it figured out, got home and began the arduous job of putting them away (I told you it wasn’t glamorous.)
As we scurried around the kitchen for two days preparing food for 100 guests, de-boning chicken until midnight (laughing at ourselves for estimating and buying twice too much :-D), swapping an occasional childish prank and then high-fiving over the savory results and exclaiming together, “It’s show time!“, amid all the work and problem-solving was a sweetness of fellowship–a knitting together of our hearts from the act of working together toward a common goal.
Just as team mates share a unique bond from working, sweating, winning and losing together, so do families. But with so many working outside the home (husbands and wives) there is a dependency that once existed within a marriage that seems to be fading away. A dependency that the feminist movement said was bad, but one I think was good and quite intended by the Creator.
“The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Since the Industrial Revolution, despite all the wonderful things it has brought, we’ve seen one of the biggest tragedies in our history: families divided in body, mind and spirit. And worse, others replacing those endearing positions of comrades in our life work.
And I hope this post doesn’t discourage you, because I know the reality is that most of you (as I still do) watch your husband leave in the morning, and return late in the evening, and you struggle just to keep a physical connection between you, much less an emotional one that is typically built in the climate of common industry.
Despite what is true, there is still the reality of husbands tied to corporate jobs and little we can do to change it.
But for us, and hopefully for you, we feel more inspired than ever to encourage our sons and daughters toward entrepreneurship–home industries, for so many reasons, but especially because of the bonds that are created when families build together.
It is my prayer that the Christian community will begin to consider all the possibilities that belong to us to build businesses and expand our presence in the culture. Someone said that a culture’s greatest influence is its business owners. Perhaps we could start thinking in that direction, supporting family businesses, networking and brainstorming about our own!
Just some random thoughts I’ve been having that I wanted to share.
29 comments
Mrs. Kelly,
I was truly inspired by your post, even though, at this season in our lives, my husband works outside of our home in a “corporate suit & tie job” to provide, without complaint, for our family Monday through Friday for about 11 hours a day. However, both of us consider this job to be a blessing from the Lord as his hard work provides for our needs, and allows me to be a full-time keeper of our home.
However, as I was reading your post, I was envisioning husbands and wives working together side by side in the home providing for their families as well as their communities as a team, and I think this is an excellent vision for the next generation to work towards.
Also, I would like to say that I am happy that your wedding planning business is blessing your family, and that your dream of working together with your husband & children at home is slowly becoming a reality for you. I pray that the Lord will continue to encourage your family to work hard together and not give-up on your “entrepreneur dream” (smiles).
P.S. No, this post did not discourage me (smiles).
Lady Sophia,
Oh, I’m so glad it didn’t! I just know many women are like me, and would love to have hubby home and more often than not, it doesn’t seem like a possibility. The wedding business for us just happened to work because the house we’re renting from my parents has a giant dining hall. It is, in fact, the only way we could justify moving from our small house 😉
But I do want to encourage anyone–where there’s a will there’s a way, and that’s not just a cliche.
That’s the freedom I hope to communicate through this post. If it can be dreamed, it can be done.l
Wonderful post, Kelly. I hope that your business will continue to be a success. What wonderful memories your whole family will collect as a result of this experience!
Kelley,
And I forgot to say thanks for direction to Ambelside Online. I wanted to read the original CM writings, but I wasn’t sure of how or when I’d come up with the $40-$50 to buy the series. They do have the whole collection on their site, such a blessing! Thank you!
Sorry for completely misspelling your name. (Can you tell I’m nursing at 1 am?? ;-).
Kelly, thank you so much for sharing your heart and experience with us. It’s so exciting to see what could be, and what will be, Lord willing, for our family.
We have been running into more and more folks out there with this same desire to pursue entreprenurial/family centered businesses…free from bondage to any man, institution, or thing.
These are exciting times we are living in!
awesome post! inspiring, to say the least!
My husband and I own a flooring business. We have been running it together for 10 years. There is a lot to be said for being “on the same team”. There are some drawbacks to being self employed, but the benefits definitely outweigh the problems.
I think homeschooling makes family life better in the “family business” situation. Because my husband leaves home to do work, we need to be available when he is. Since my 6 year old is actually going to school, I see how school interferes with our family time, somewhat.
During the last couple of years, when many people in our industry (construction) lost their jobs, we were OK. Unfortunately we had to do one round of layoffs, but were able to keep 2/3 of our employees and maintain our salary. There seems to be more control of the situation when you are the owner. My husband just worked harder at procuring the jobs and eventually it got better. Anyway, I would encourage families to start their own businesses and work toward that being the main income. I definitely feel blessed to have one.
Thanks, Kelly….very encouraging post for us all in this household.
(Ben enjoys reading “real life” stories about “real families” trying to survive with the entrepreneurial mindset. He has been a bit discouraged lately. BTW, hello from Ben!)
Keep serving the LORD together!!!!
Kelly,
I give a hearty AMEN!
My husband resigned his executive (read: large salary)position about a year and a half ago to start his own business. We had no extra savings but we knew that this was what God wanted us to do.
It has been utterly AMAZING to see how God has provided for us in this last year and a half.
My journal is filled with all of His provision, sometimes with a special personalized twist.
As soon as we are done with our Regency Ball, I will be blogging more about our journey. I will send you the link then! My greatest encouragement to any of you ladies that have husbands considering this. Pray, pray, pray and support, support, support.
God’s blessing on your business Crawford family!!
Andrea
http://www.regencyball.blogspot.com
I’m so inspired by all of the comments! My DH also works a suit and tie job. Fortunately, our life is pretty well balanced-now. I couldn’t say the same years ago when he first went into the corporate world. The separation put a huge distance between us. I went about life as if I was single mother and my DH was a paycheck. Now I make a point to let him know I “need” him just for little things like hanging out in the kitchen after dinner while I clear the table. Or, sitting with me while I fold laundry. Just to connect and be with him. I find sharing small moments here and there, really helps.
I am off to check out Ambelside Online for CM information.
Wishing you many blessings on your wedding business!
What a wonderful blessing! And I can’t help but think how working together… having that dependency upon each other for virtually everything can’t help but be strengthening to the marriage bond. I think back into my own situation, my own marriage and can see where many troubles and many heartaches would have been avoided if we had all centered our work lives as well as spiritual and social lives around our home.
I am hoping to get a business going myself, but it is all so overwhelming… I am not the business gal sort at all! I have thoughts of doing a sewing business… but what to sew? Where to sell? What to charge? It is all so intimidating! yipes!
Diane,
Yes it is! And marketing can be a full time job besides the business part!
Let me throw this out there, just for inspiration…one year I was trying to buy my daughter a matching dress set for her and her American girl doll. These are mostly homemade, unless you buy them through the company. I was bidding at the sets on ebay, and kept losing. The market seemed very hot for this item. I finally got my parents to agree to help pay for a set so I could bid high enough. Most sets were selling for around $100.
Just a thought…
Very inspiring! My husband does work long hours…sometimes late at night sometimes early morning. But that is the beauty of Hsing. My daughter can hang out with him when he gets home or before he leaves. We have no one’s schedule but our own…well, God’s hopefully;} He has just been writing wind symphonies and I feel God calling me to write a children’s book, so maybe one day, in the future. We even want to give our daughter her first “gig” and let her help with illustrations as she is better than me. Thanks for the encouragement to press on. And for the reminder how important it will be for her future!
I forgot to say what a beautiful centerpiece! I am sure your customers were grateful for it!
For years I prayed for my husband to work from home, and God blessed us by bringing him home about 4 years ago.
There have been MANY sacrifices made, but it has been all worth it! The things that we use to find security in, we no longer have. It has caused us to truly seek God for daily needs.
God is faithful and we are so much better off. The trials have made us stronger in the Lord. The necessity to generate income has caused our whole family to be inventive in more ways than few!
I can say my relationship with my kids and especially my husband are much more intimate because of our laboring together.
Great post Kelly!
Leslie from VA,
Tell Ben not to be discouraged…a few words from famous entrepreneurs for Ben:
“I had to pick myself up and get on with it, do it all over again, only even better this time.” -Sam Walton
“Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
“Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do in the first place doesn’t mean it’s useless….”
“Results? Why, man, I have gotten lots of results! If I find 10,000 ways something won’t work, I haven’t failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is often a step forward…” -Thomas Edison
To the lady who needed sewing ideas, I know so many people take their things to be altered! I wouldnt know how to advertise except starting with a simple business card, but sewing is a lost art anymore, and with most women working and people remaining single, they need someone to sew for them. Put cards up at fabric stores, at church, grocery stores, etc.
My girls dance studio also has a woman who is assigned ‘alterations’, so anyone from the dance studio who cant do them themselves, is sent to her. Think outside the box and the jobs will come.
I love the concept of a family business. My husband does too and he’s been gradually working on freeing himself from the rat race by investing in rental properties.
However, sometimes it’s hard to see that lovely end result, because for us this is a long, hard process. My husband has essentially been working more than two full-time jobs in trying to provide for us while getting his investments to the point of being able to provide. And frankly, he’s not one to be content hanging around the home much. He wants to be off doing something (something useful, in his mind, and that doesn’t include family outings, picnics, quiet evenings at home…), out and about, and he doesnt’ want/need me to help him. He wants me keeping the home fires burning, homeschooling, caring for our children (and I am happy to do that!). But even when he is 100% self employed, poor me isn’t going to see that much of him. 🙁 I’m hopeful that our boys will, as they get older and can be helpful in the work he does.
I love the ideal, but I’m not sure quite how it works out for those of us married to workaholics. Dh says his grandpa never quit working and even when he was old disabled he would sit in his banana tree patch and weed all afternoon, and dh wants to be just like that, never quit working until the moment he takes his last breath.
Diane – I think Authentically Me makes a great suggestion. My business relies on outside sewers (alas, though I was well taught, I’m not talented, and unless someone wants to pay $10k for each of the items I make, I’m not fast enough to be profitable) – my favorite sewer no longer sews for me, because it’s so profitable to do alterations! What folks will pay to take in and let out and rework and restore is A LOT! Go for it. Even if you just took a job or two a week, who couldn’t use the extra money? That’s a real gift you have. Sending encouragement your way!
WW, is the catering side new to you all, or is it just now growing? I knew you were hosting weddings at your venue, but I didn’t know you were your own catering vendor. That’s terrific.
My husband is now semi-retired and works from home (he is a pastor), and although I love it having him at home all the time (we do hospital, nursing home and home visitations together), I have to admit that it was a big adjustment in our marriage. But, human relationships are never stagnant, they are always changing. Adjustments come with age and grown children.
Beautiful Post Kelly. Really enjoyed hearing about your business and a little bit about your family working together.
Oh how I would love to have my hubby home more. What a blessing that God has blessed y’all with your vision to start a wedding business. I know GOd will richly bless you.
I do believe things come in seasons. I hope one day God will open doors for us to have a season where our family can spend more time together through out the day. Right now though, my husband “call and ministry” is as a pilot in the military. Due to that he spends a lot of time coming back and forth from war. Since we haven’t felt God to move us out of this season both of us often wonder what God has in store for our Family when he moves him out of this career. Right now though we know GOd is using our Family so for now I am just praying us through the next 7 years so he can retire with 30 years of Service. 🙂
Blessins to you and your Family.
that is so inspiring!!! We are praying that the Lord continues to bless your family business beyond what you could even imagine! have you read the book E Myth? HHCA is just starting but we are just so excited about the possibilities! To God be the glory! blessings, jen in al
This was wonderful!
I tried to express something similar here once about my gratitude for my education, and the ways God has used that to help make me a better mother and bring me closer to my husband. Because of academia, I’ve been able to help my husband in many ways, and he has helped me. We’ve written articles together, he helped edit my dissertation, I helped edit his book chapter. We sit in coffee shops together (or used to before our toddlers got quite so active, lol!), read books, and talk about them. That working-together-ness has been such a joy in our relationship, and it’s wonderful to hear about something similar in your relationship with your husband.
Thanks Mrs. Crawford for the encouraging words!
I am so excited for y’all! Thank you for posting such an encouraging post!
What a touching post, and so poignant knowing now that you lost that beautiful dining hall (and so much more) in last year’s storms! Are you planning on rebuilding the hall, or resuming the wedding business again?
Many blessings to you as you finish up your house 😉
6 arrows,
No, we are not rebuilding the hall. The wedding business wasn’t making enough to warrant the rebuilding, we were just utilizing that space as best we knew how. Thought it was growing, it wasn’t sustaining us by any means and it was a LOT of work. We are still working toward Aaron being home and we’re hoping our cost of living will be much less now to make that more possible. (We’re debt free!!)
Woohoo, debt free! Congratulations! 🙂
My husband has wanted to work exclusively from home, too. We’re not there yet, but he does do well with his interest and skill in finding used cars that need a lot of work, repairing them, and reselling them for a nice profit. This is in addition to his work-away-from-home job. Such a blessing to have such a hard-working husband, as you also know 😉
I’ll pray for all of you as you work toward Aaron being home. What a blessing when God makes that a reality in families!