(Photography courtesy of His Hands Photographs)
I couldn’t be reminded enough of the beauty of the mystery of God’s commands in marriage. Knowing us so intimately, he commanded my husband to LOVE me, and me to RESPECT my husband. The best way to show him love is to respect him…that is his basic need.
So often, we allow ourselves to look for the wrong in our husbands…to expect it. And then we fuel it by talking over his weakness to our friends, or mulling over it in our minds.
What if we thought differently? (“Taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”)
What if we constantly pondered his positive traits, his willingness to work, to give, to protect and provide? Am I thankful that he tries to keep gas in the car so I don’t have to pump it?
Or do we get hung up on whether he noticed our new outfit? Or why he doesn’t just “sense” that I need a date night? Do I offer an exaggerated sigh if he makes a driving mistake? Do those little quirks really have to irritate us?
What if we really started seeing him through different eyes?
We can be so petty about the things we expect, looking right over all the gems buried inside that man of ours!
I want to be his cheerleader, his “safe place”…he encounters enough difficulty and discouragement.
Do I create a place where he longs to be? Do I conserve enough energy to give him, or do I give him my leftovers?
As his created helper, am I helping?
Do I smile at him like I think he’s the greatest thing since chocolate?
Do I simply appreciate him…the one thing he really craves?
You want to be treated like a queen? Treat him like a king. (Note to self.)
24 comments
Adorable picture, Kelly! What words of wisdom as well.
So true! Very cute picture, too.
By the way, I love the new look of your blog.
This is one thing I am so thankful my mother taught me, and showed me such a good example of. She said that the world would try to tear my husband down every day, but if he knew I was in his corner, and treated him like the Godly man he is, he will keep going out every day to fight the dragons of this world for me and our family. He’ll think you’re the most wonderful woman on this earth. And it’s true! I never heard my mother say a bad word against my father, and it’s helped me in my marriage to follow that example. Yes, he does things I don’t like, and sometimes I feel annoyed with him, but I have to aknowledge that sometimes I probably drive him crazy too. We’re expecting our third little one is fall, and he only ever tells me how much he loves me, and that I’m beautiful and he’s so glad he married me. God gave me a good man, and I always want him to know I love him, and that I am thankful for him. Sorry for the long post. This pregnancy has made me more emotional than usual.
Good thoughts, Michelle. And I don’t think your post is long at all. 😉
Loved this, Michelle.
Oh my goodness, what a beautiful photograph of the two of you! Absolutely stunning!
I’m finding that after 26 years of marriage, there are still so many things I have to learn! The little quirks that I allow myself to get irritated over, the “mulling it over in our minds”, boy, those thoughts, Kelly, were for me!
Marriage is a journey, and one I’m thankful to be on. I have to ask myself how I’m showing it to my husband, this gratefulness for God’s gift of marriage, of God’s gift of *my man specifically* as my husband, everything he is. I need posts like these as reminders to treat him well, to respect him and show my appreciation for him.
I liked this thought of yours: “What if we constantly pondered his positive traits…”. It reminded me of something a friend of mine who has been leading a bible study on Philippians said at our last meeting. We’ve been looking at Php. 4:8 the last few times we’ve met:
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
My friend commented that when a negative thought comes to mind, we should acknowledge it as such and ask ourselves, “What am I going to replace it with?” We can’t just say, “I’m going to try to get rid of this”; we must REPLACE it.
That’s where Philippians 4:8 comes in; we “think on these things”, what is lovely, praiseworthy, and so on. I think pondering our husbands’ positive traits, like you said, Kelly, fits so well with this verse.
Thank you for your words of wisdom, and a picture that really shows the JOY of marriage. 🙂
Replacing thoughts–such a great reminder. We think *something*, us women, it’s not just void up there 😉
Thank you! The most motivating thing for me as a wife is simply to meditate on ‘she brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life’. I think I remember that it was a post of yours that highlighted that verse to me. God bless you!
LOVE this picture of you two. What a beautiful couple yall make!
Thank you, Blair!
Ouch!!! And thank you for this post!
Ouch to me too.
Thank you for this post! It is very well said and a wonderful reminder of who I am supposed to be to my husband.
Thanks for this biblical and necessary reminder.
How do you stay so slim, Kelly? After 9(?) kids, you look like a 25 year old! Or is it the fact that food must stretch so far, there isn’t much left for you!!LOL! Did you ever have a pregnancy where you struggled to keep off the weight/eat right/exercise? Or are you one of those natural really high metabolism types? I have 4 kids, 8 and under, and struggle to find consistent time to exercise, and with a tight food budget, we have to balance cost vs. quality–oh i also have to eat gluten free. Has it been easier, since you have older children who can hold down the fort each day while mom goes for a 20 min jog?? Any suggestions?
Laura,
Thank you–you are so kind. Honestly, I do have a high metabolism (my heart rate is an average of about 80, resting), and I’ve never had trouble with weight, even though I often gain about 40 pounds with pregnancy (!)
But I also eat a bit differently (when I’m not pregnant)–snacking on small amounts throughout the day. Not necessarily for my health (although I know that is better), but I’m just that jumpy/flighty and can’t stand to stop long enough to sit down 😉 I don’t take enough time to eat, really.
We have also just decided to go gluten-free (giant gulp), but the past few months I have added juicing to my diet and have tried to walk regularly. I only walk for about 15 minutes a day and am trying to add to that, but I’m a firm believer in walking. And yes, it’s very easy, with so many older ones, to jet out the door for that small a time.
We are also on a tight budget so I fully understand the tension between quality and money. However, I know in the long run being more health-conscious will save money at the Dr.’s office. There are certain things we are just willing to pay more for–organic or raw milk, nuts and fruit instead of snack cakes or cookies, Agave instead of sugar. I try to buy organic apples and potatoes because of the high concentration of pesticides in those–things like that. I just try to stretch the budget in other areas–lots of rice/beans, etc.
BUT…we have an Aldi grocery store with GREAT prices, especially on produce. It saves us a lot.
Maybe you have one near you?
You are going gluten-free? Wow, could I really be so lucky? 🙂 I have recently discovered that I need to live a gluten-free lifestyle and now that I know that you are doing this as well I am hoping that you are going to pass around some frugal gluten-free tips from time to time. 🙂
Ponder Woman, I’ve been gluten-free for a few years now, so if I could offer you my best GF frugal tip, I would say go easy on the grains! Certain GF grains can be quite expensive! I was eating a huge amount of wheat before going GF, so when I cut gluten out of my diet, I replaced it with lots of GF grains for baking, snacking, etc. Our grocery bill went way up!
I’ve now cut back quite a bit on the grains, eating more things like fruits, vegetables, plain meats, etc., so our food costs aren’t nearly as high now!
Have fun with the gluten-free lifestyle! I love it!
Well thank you very much! Because I’m not the most talented cook/baker you will ever meet I have been unknowingly utilizing your best frugal tip simply because I’m a little bit afraid to experiment with flours I have never even heard of until now. 🙂
Welcome to the gluten-free lifestyle, Kelly! I think you’re going to love it! I went GF cold turkey a few years ago, and within 48 hours I felt so much better!
I have a high metabolism, too, like you do, but the interesting thing for me about going GF was that my metabolic rate went down enough that I wasn’t so constantly ravenous anymore! I don’t have to eat so much now to maintain a healthy weight. (My weight had slowly been dropping through the years, almost without my noticing, it was so gradual, to the point that I was beginning to look…and feel…unhealthy. My husband got pretty worried about me, and a friend of mine who had formerly struggled with anorexia/bulimia asked me, out of love and concern, if I had struggled with that, too, which I hadn’t; I just didn’t know why the weight was coming off like that.)
The GF diet helped curb my weight loss, gave me more energy, helped me sleep better, concentrate better, not forget things so much (!), not catch as many viruses, get rid of my sugar cravings…you name it, life just got a lot better after cutting out gluten! (Not that you need help with any of the above-mentioned things, Kelly 😉 …just speaking for myself and the benefits I derived!)
BTW, you look great in the picture, very healthy-looking, and not at all excessively thin. 🙂
Regarding organic, we eat more of that, too, because of the pesticide content, as you say: apples, potatoes, bell peppers, strawberries. I like the taste of organic carrots better than conventional, also.
We have an Aldi’s in our area, too…I’m going to have to check that out now that you mentioned it!
Oh, oh, and big news…(although take all my “news” with a grain of salt because I have way more ideas than ever make it to fruition)…I’m working this very minute on the “perfect” healthy TRUFFLE!!! Can you view this link? http://turquoiseandtruffles.homestead.com/
LOVE this post! I can ALWAYS use a reminder like this. Especially about conserving some energy for him! I do have a wonderful husband, so it’s great just to be reminded to remember it!!!
I can see you’re a really happy couple. Happy in God. Blessings…
Kelly,
What a great post! I love the idea of replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones. I am so guilty of mulling things over in my mind, and have been praying about turning that around! Thank you, this post was so for me! I need to practice this daily!!!!