Being a keeper at home is an integral part of that design. It’s not oppressive, it’s not what the culture has come to think of and define it as. It’s wonderful when it’s embraced from a heart of obedience, knowing that God has our very best interest at heart.
It is the only true liberation of women.
“What can we do to remedy that?” “To bring her back to her family’s kingdom?”
I’ve come to believe something about this touchy issue…it has everything to do with what you THINK about it.
Admittedly, we’ve done things our way for so long, it truly isn’t as easy as snapping a finger, and all the women who long to be homemakers can quit their jobs tomorrow and come home. For some, it may be that simple. But many feel trapped in a two-income quandry.
But let me stress that the reason I write on this blog is not to make people feel bad about where they are; it is to overturn a destructive way of thinking.
See, if you are thinking in the direction of your role as keeper at home, your lifestyle will gravitate to that. You will make decisions and life choices that move you in that direction.
It will affect how you view your finances, debt, spending money, how you raise your children–everything.
It shouldn’t be so much whether a woman is working outside the home, as it should be what we THINK of that. Modern Feminism says that working outside the home is liberation….opportunity…equality.
We should see a woman working for another man, another cause, another “kindgdom” and say (as a Christian community), “What can we do to remedy that?” “To bring her back to her family’s kingdom?”
But if your thinking is “for liberation”, the negative consequences that have infected our culture will continue.
Why? Because you can’t fully embrace two places. Either you love and fight for your “rights”, or you love and fight for your home…but loving and fighting take tremendous amounts of time and energy.
15 comments
Kelly,
How right you are!
I think that because the hyper-feminist agenda has been so rudely and forcefully pushed upon generations of women for so long, women are used to hearing other women speaking of where we belong (and you and I agree completely as to where women belong in love!) in only rude, loveless ways.
When we speak of where women belong, we speak in love, and for the freedom, hope and joy for every woman to be able to experience everywhere. I believe that even when we point directly to Scripture (where no maxed-out feminist can point to for source), women have been so used to the way things have been that they take offense to it. Not to mention that we all have sin nature within us, which rises daily as a spirit of rebellion against God’s Word!
I don’t think it matters how lightly or loving we present God’s Truth to women, either. There will always be women that fault us for being negative, mean and rude, simply because they are offended with the Truth.
I have yet to meet a Titus wife who has an agenda to make other women feel bad for working out of the home, but only hopes and prays to help them see the thinking going on behind careers outside the home, etc. I am sure there are a few out there, but I have yet to meet one. 🙂
This flows well with some of the things I’ve been experiencing lately regarding being open about God’s Word, thank you for sharing!
I haven’t posted on here but wanted to let you know that I love reading your blog. I love your boldness concerning the truth. We do have to decide between two place all the time. Sometime we need to be reminded of that.
You have expressed this so well. It’s not about condemnation for woemn working outside the home, but about restoring women to their own homes. Thank you for this post.
I remember when I worked for a big corporation when I was a newlywed. I noticed that the women with children were always having to HUMBLY ask off or try to find ways to be with their sick kids (who were sick more often b/c of daycare). They had to explain their list of reasons to the boss and hope he would let them. It was heart-breaking to see their cubicles with their kids’ pictures pasted all over the walls but knowing they were at daycare. And seeing these women who a lot of them wanted to be at home but felt they had no choice. Of course this is the lie they have been fed their whole lives.
Like you said, some of the women who work already feel horrible & guilty about it and want to come home but don’t realize there IS a way. Thank you for your blog!
I agree. My heart was home long before I was. I was trapped, but I just continued to pray and be a homemaker in the hours I had to do so.
“it has everything to do with what you THINK about it.”
So true Kelly. I’ve been a homemaker since I married but even still I catch myself thinking that I should be “working”, like I’m not working at home, you know what I mean though. I catch myself thinking I could be doing something more for my family by working outside the home.
It such a terrible thing that we (women) have been fed all of this so subtly that even when we know it’s wrong it’s hard to fight.
This is so important for us to think about! I have been a homemaker since the beginning of our marriage with the full emotional support of my husband but with many years of struggling through financially. However, I am always amazed and touched at how many full-time working -outside- the- home women I meet who truly do have their hearts at home. They really secretly long to be there. I can look back now on those near starvation years in our lives and rejoice for them because they built in me a deep conviction that staying at home is a commitment and that God will meet every woman where they are if they are WILLING!! Yes, it may take the Lord to change the mind of a deceived husband but I know of very few husbands who wouldn’t love to have a wife at home committed to meeting his needs and making his home a haven.And is it too hard for God to meet the needs of a single mother? Nothing is too hard for God.
My heart goes out to those women who are living with deep deep regret in their older age because the years with our children in the home go by so fast and we don’t know how long we may have with our husband.
Jill F.mother of 8
Regarding what we should think of women working outside the home…
You reject the view that women who stay at home are oppressed (and rightly so) but why do you then impose your own view that anytime a woman is working outside the home that it is detrimental to her home?
Unless you believe there is a clear mandate from the bible that working outside the home is sin, isn’t that an unfair assumption?
A woman’s family certainly comes first before any job, but where is the scriptural proof that to work outside the home is always to the detriment of the home?
I don’t consider the stay-at-home view to be “my view”. I don’t think Scripture calls working outside the home a sin either, but believe there are plenty of indications that it is not God’s best for women, husbands and children.
Genesis: Man was given the CURSE of struggling to provide for the children. Now we are taught to embrace that curse as something “capable women deserve”.
Proverbs 31 defines what the “capable” woman looks like…plenty of opportunity to utilize her gifts and talents, and make money, but all within the domain of keeping her home–industry flows FROM the home not against it. BIG difference.
Titus 2 gives very specific instruction to women to be “keepers of the home”…hate to overstate the obvious, but this is never enough for us.
The NT list of “acceptable” widows (widows to whom church would consider giving assistance) required that a woman has “brought up children, lodged strangers, washed the saints’ feet relieved the afflicted…”. She was not to even be considered for “the list” if she had not done these things (which, by the way, would have been impossible if she was consumed with a career).
Additional implications are principles like “you cannot serve two masters”…and “where your treasure is your heart will be also”.
Taking the whole counsel of Scripture, the direct commands and the indirect principles, I think there is ample “proof” that it is indeed best for a woman to be the full time manager of her home.
I wouldn’t feel so strongly about it if I felt it was just my opinion.
Again…I didn’t say, nor does Scripture call it a sin to work outside the home; but I do think our failure to heed the solid evidence against it evokes painful and regretful consequences.
Great post, Kelly! Being homemakers is about building up our family’s REAL wealth: our heritage, culture, traditions, faith, relationships, and opportunities to share God’s love with others in our communities. What a rich investmet, one with the potenial to far outlive us!
Working outside the home only brings in money! 😉
Your posts are always stimulating and strengthening. Keep up the good work!
Amen! We have to pick our battles. Even if the Lord didn’t command Christian women to be homemakers, it still wouldn’t be wise for them to work outside the home! It’s simply not possible for a woman to work outside the home and yet be able to be devoted wholly to her home and family as well. There just isn’t time in the day for all of that! Something will fail-whether it be her outside job, her health, her family life, the cleanliness of her home, etc.
I’m always so saddened when I hear women say things such as, “Oh, I’m so glad I’m not a homemaker! I’m SO liberated from being at home all day!”. How sad!!! How tragic it is that countless women have bought into our culture’s lies! That kind of thinking completely goes against a woman’s desires anyway. Set aside for a moment all of the MANY other reasons why the Lord commanded women to be homemakers, and let’s just focus on this one thing for a moment: women CRAVE security. They crave protection. All of this is given in abundance to the woman who is a homemaker. The home is her protection, she is secure there. So, for women to think that not being a homemaker is liberation, absolutely goes against all of their feminine desires that were engrained into them by Almighty God Himself.
I could go on and on :), but I must go now. I just want to say thank you again SO much for your wonderful blog. It truly has become one of my very favorites. I’ve been sick lately, and we’ve had a lot of work on our home going on, so I haven’t had any time really to read my favorite blogs. Needless to say, I had REALLY been missing your posts! 🙂 It’s so great to be back.
May the Lord richly bless you!
Rebekah, age 15
http://www.byhisgraceandforhisglory.blogspot.com
Kelly, I love, love, love your blog and find so much inspiration here in your words. I hope you know what a blessing you are to so many people. That lost response from Rebekah, all I can say is WOW!! I read her comment and throughout kept thinking how wonderfully mature it was written and then to find out it was from a 15 year old!! My heart leaped with hope!! Praise God for such wonderful Godly families that are raising such wonderful Godly children. I am humbled by dear Rebekah’s insight. I wish I myself were as spiritually mature, but being raised in a home completely void of Christian influence, I find myself a spiritual babe at the age of 29, but learning more and more everyday!! Thank you Kelly and Thank you Rebekah!!!
Kelly(Word Warrior),
I have a question. As you of course know, Titus 2:4-5 teaches(among many other things) that the older women are to admonish the younger women to be homemakers so that the Word of God may not be blasphemed. 1 Timothy 5:14 teaches(among other things) that the young widows are to manage the home, so that(among many other reasons obviously) they give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. You said in a comment you left someone, that you don’t believe that the Scriptures say it’s a sin to not be a homemaker. Reading this left me with some concern, and with a question that I hope you will answer when you find the time.
Before I ask the question, I would like to point out some things from the 2 above mentioned passages. These passages teach that if these women are not homemakers, then the Word of God will be blasphemed. As Christians, it is clearly a sin to do anything that would cause God or His Word to be blasphemed, reviled, put down, etc. Therefore, this passage is teaching clearly that it is a sin to not be a homemaker. Secondly, in these passages, women are admonished or commanded to be homemakers. They are not given this possibility, or told that this would be the wisest plan for them. Rather, they are commanded. If we disobey the Lord’s commands, then we are in sin. We have to keep our hermenuetic(method of interpreting Scripture) the same, no matter what passage we come to. I think it’s pretty clear in these passages that not being a homemaker is a sin(because it’s directly disobeying a command, and not being a homemaker would bring dishonor to God’s Word, His name, etc.). Therefore, my question is this: how can you rectify what you said about not thinking the Scriptures say that it’s a sin to work outside the home, with the fact of what the above passages are teaching?
I hope I did not come across as disrespectful or arguementative! If I did, I apologize!!
Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day!
Rebekah
http://www.byhisgraceandforhisglory.blogspot.com
Jamie,
You are just too kind! 🙂 I’m so humbled by your sweet words of kindness and encouragement. I, too, am so very, very thankful for my parents and the home I’m being raised in, as well as for the work the Lord has performed in my heart. I didn’t always used to believe the way I do now! My family and I(though already pro-homemaker, etc.) have come a long way! The Lord began radically changing us in the fall of 2006. We began attending a new church(a family-integrated one), became introduced to Vision Forum, etc. etc., and through all of these events, the Lord has brought us closer and closer to His Word. He has shown us the error of our ways and thoughts in so many areas, for which I will eternally be SO thankful. It is all of Him and His grace-if He had just left us to ourselves, there’s no way we would have been changed in our convictions like we have been. It’s all been by His grace. In fact, when He first began this process of really changing us, I’m ashamed to say that I resisted Him! But looking back, I’m SO, SO thankful that He didn’t give up on me, but rather kept working with me and my family. He is so good!
May the Lord richly bless you, Jamie! 🙂 You’re such a dear lady.
In Him,
Rebekah
http://www.byhisgraceandforhisglory.blogspot.com
As a “career woman”, I wholeheartedly agree.
I would love nothing better than to come home but my husband is in the two-income mentality. I’m praying God will lead him in the direction He desires for us to go.
I agree. Ladies, don’t envy the ‘working mom’. It is like being torn in two. I’d MUCH rather be home.