Often, couples are terrified that if they allow God to be sovereign over the womb, they will end up having 18 children…..and some do! But often, they don’t. (Many women in Scripture who cried out for children were only given one or two.) Some couples have one or two, or three or four, before He closes the womb. And then, hard as it is for us to accept, sometimes a couple is not given any children.
All possible considerations must still fall under the ultimate trusting of God. Believing that He ordains life when and how often He wills, we face the realization of having many children…or having none.
We all know couples who have never conceived. The pain that goes along with that must be excruciating. And yet there must be some comfort for the couple who has given their bodies completely to Him, knowing they’ve been open and willing to receive children, with no regrets over surgeries or other abuses done to the body that might be preventing those children.
I know those couples too…heart-broken over choices they made early in marriage…and part of my desire on this blog is to stop people from making drastic, tragic mistakes that will later break their hearts.
God created the womb…He ordains life…The miracle of birth is His idea, His handiwork, His beautiful expression of love. He sees the future, He knows our situations, He knows things we don’t know, and there is such perfect peace when we relinquish this area–His area-over to Him, to do with our lives what He will. Eighteen children or no children….God does not withhold any good thing from the upright.
I pray for those of you who are without children…I can not empathize, only sympathize. I know there must be a pain there deeper than anyone can imagine who has not endured that trial. And I admit, I have a hard time speaking on this subject because of my lack of experience.
However, I know that with any trial, with any circumstance we find ourselves asking “why”, we must hold on to truth…the truth that God is who He says He is, and that He is good, and faithful, and we must trust in Him, not because of what He does or doesn’t do, but because of WHO He is.
I wrote a song about this trust (it is on our Scripture Songs CD), after going through a difficult time…I hope it is a blessing to you.
Click on the link below to listen to “I Will Trust in You”
5 comments
Kelly, thank you for responding to my question and sharing your thoughts about the subject (and indeed, I changed the name to Domestic Felicity – although I still keep my old title as blog description).
This issue is a really tough one for me. Because, you see, unlike pregnancy which is normal and healthy, and therefore preventing it isn’t natural, infertility is in many cases caused by some sort of health condition. Surely curing a disease wouldn’t be immoral, if we can do it without compromising our convictions? But we already decided that if we’re faced with the choice, we will not do IVF. I also know some couples pay a woman to become a surrogate mother for them. We feel something is deeply wrong with it too. In short, I think the sort of fertility treatment I would consider *for me* is the one that would cure an existing health condition and allow my body to function naturally after it.
When we married, my husband and I decided to give God the control over my womb. We fully expected to be expecting within months, never dreaming that God would have rather different plans. Instead, God’s plans for us included six years of infertility. It is heart wrenching. I cried buckets of tears while I begged God for that precious child that my heart longed for.
After two years, God led us to pursue adoption. We have a wonderful three-year-old son now as a result. During that time is also when I came to know God as my personal Savior – surely He knew that I needed to go through infertility first so that I could see that even the child I longed for could not fill that aching void in my life!
Like Anna mentioned, my husband and I have struggled with the concept of fertility treatments, though to be honest, we did try one fertility drug at the very beginning. The side effects were horrible, we didn’t conceive, and we both decided that pursuing that again was a very bad idea. But I had a health issue that was preventing us from conceiving.
Eventually I ended up at a doctor who decided to treat my health issues – not so that we could conceive, but because it needed to be treated, and soon. Within months, I was much healthier and 65 pounds lighter.
Then six months after the initial appointment, we discovered that God had allowed us to conceive! What a shock – but what a miracle! I’m 17 weeks along now, and we give all the glory to God.
It always amazes me how people view trying for and preventing children – as if they’re some burden that is to be avoided! We’re thrilled to have one of God’s precious blessings under our roof, and thrilled to have another on the way. It’s an issue that’s close to my heart.
(by the way, my entire testimony is listed on my blog, how God used my little bitty son to bring me to Himself)
Thank you for sharing that,Melody…it made me smile!
I think those who have struggled with infertility are, perhaps, more prone to grasp the profoundness that life is, and may more readily except that God is really the One in control of the womb.
Congratulations!
This is a beautiful post, Word Warrior. I am going to be directing my dear sister to your blog to read this post. She was recently diagnosed with Sjögren’s Sydrome and is awaiting test results to see if Sjögren’s is the primary disease, or if it is secondary to SLE Lupus. Her medical team has already advised her that it is unlikely she will ever be able to have biological children and this has been just devastating for her. She’s not yet married and loves children, so I can only imagine what pain she must feel as she looks to the future.
Our feelings are very close to Anna’s as far as fertility treatments go. I have an auto-immune disease that could cause infertility, but, at least for now, my illness appears to be under good control. I treat my illness, but would never venture into IVF or fertility treatment territory if that day ever came. If God wills, we would love to adopt someday, regardless of having many biological children or not.
Melody- Your story is amazing! What a blessing it was to read this morning!
HI! wow.. I really needed to read this.. thank you so much for posting.. I dont even have anything to say but thank you. I LOVE the LORD and how HE is so mindful of my pain…. I am constantly having to fight LIES with TRUTH when I look around and see all my friends having more and more babies.. then I get even more frustrated when I see the Wicked having children not understanding what the mandate to have them where for.. I am just trying to grasp why the LORD doesnt want to use us to further HIS kingdom in this way
would you please send me your song.. i couldn hear it
mrsnicolek@yahoo.com
NIcole
you have really encouraged one of my best friends so dearly (step into the Chambers)