Home motherhood/family/parenting I Can’t Go To the Potty Alone…And I’m OK With That

I Can’t Go To the Potty Alone…And I’m OK With That

by Kelly Crawford

(Reposted from the archives)

The first rays of sun invade my bedroom…beautiful, and unwelcomed all the same. Sleep begs me to stay, a two year old begs me to come. The baby sleeps…finally.

Yesterday’s laundry is scattered on the bedroom floor–objects of a child’s imaginary play. So much for “organized perfection” now that I have upgraded the laundry room.

Another child whines…for breakfast. How long will it take to teach him to ask cheerfully?

I wish the coffee was already made.

“Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye wands.”

Singing comes from behind me. The reminder that my sinful heart is so easily tainted by trifling irritations…the reminder that I can’t teach my children to stop whining until I stop.

So, what of the Cheerios on the floor? Fingerprints on the glass? Do I let the noise “get on my nerves”?

Life lives here. And it is so beautiful, and I am thankful. With all its flaws, and reality. Yes, our floor is dirty a lot. And I can’t remember the last time I visited the potty alone.

And I dread the day when I will actually miss all that stuff!

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35 comments

KELLY January 30, 2008 - 11:44 pm

Thank you! I appreciate and need to be reminded of this perspective daily. I recently posted something similar to this on my blog about “seasons.” We’re all in different ones, but they’re each a blessing and God is present in each one!

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Catherine R. January 30, 2008 - 11:46 pm

You know, the title of this post is funny for me because not long ago I can remember seeing my sister’s kids follow her into the bathroom every time she would go in there to do her business and I just kept thinking to myself ‘I just cannot have kids…they seriously never leave you alone.’ Somehow the thought of never being able to go potty by myself sent me over the edge in what was already an extreme fear of having children.

Well fast forward to now, I recently got married and thanks to the voices of women like you I have (very) recently made the decision to stop using birth control! I had to break down my rebellion in order to get to this place. I am now letting God ‘control’ if and when I get pregnant now…let’s see what happens. Anyhow, thanks for this post.

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Melissa August 30, 2010 - 7:45 am

Catherine R.- How exciting for you! And if you don’t want them in the bathroom lock the door, however…. Don’t forget to put a towel or something under the door or they will peek! =)

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Heather August 30, 2010 - 11:56 am

Catherine, How wonderful!!! You have an exciting journey ahead of you of the joy of seeing the Lord do His work! It is SO freeing (although a little frightening sometimes when sin rears its ugly head) to know that you aren’t trying to hinder God’s plan and to know that you will have the exact right number and spacing of children as God wants for you. Kelly has encouraged me much too in this area. God’s blessings on your family!

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Word Warrior August 30, 2010 - 12:03 pm

Catherine,

That is SO very exciting and encouraging to me!!! Praise God!

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Mommy Reg January 31, 2008 - 12:53 am

I was having very similar thoughts this morning. 🙂 How quickly it fades and will be missed. I love the part about whining. How can I expect mine to stop whining if I continue even if it is on the inside where she cannot see. Great post.

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Carmen January 31, 2008 - 1:41 pm

Amen! I actually don’t even close the door all the way anymore…I know I’ll be visited by some little tot! Yes, I will miss it, too!

Hugs,
Carmen

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Debbie January 31, 2008 - 2:21 pm

Thank you for the wise words about whining! It is so tempting to complain in general. And we wonder where they get it from? It would be much easier to keep from complaining if I remeber that every one I make will be repeated back to me.

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Anonymous January 31, 2008 - 2:23 pm

Beautiful and so true. I have often said the same thing about not being able to potty alone!!! Your posts are so inspiring, thanks for all you do.
I am Mama to 5 precious girls and we just found out this morning that our first little boy will be here July 3!! We are all thrilled to welcome another blessing. Thank you for always encouraging. You are truly a blessing!

Shelly

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Word Warrior January 31, 2008 - 2:49 pm

Catherine R.,

What an inspiring story–thanks!

Shelly,

Congratulations on your little boy! We’re heavy on the girls too, so I know how exciting that news is 🙂

To All,

It’s always a blessing to read your comments…to know the words aren’t just dissolving into the abyss of blog world! Thank you for taking the time to drop a note!

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Elizabeth January 31, 2008 - 3:19 pm

hey, sometimes you can have great conversations while sitting upon the commode—my kids seem to think it’s prime Mommy-conversation-time! ha!

great post, kell.

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Sarah L January 31, 2008 - 6:23 pm

I had 2 friends over last week (don’t have people over a lot) and while they were here I had to go the bathroom. I shut the door and my toddler became rather upset – she didn’t know why the door was shut! 🙂

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Nancy January 31, 2008 - 6:30 pm

I can completely relate to your post! With 9 children (22yrs down to 22mos.), most of my days are just as you described! Heading into my upper 40’s, I have started realizing that “these” days will end too soon – and I too, will greatly miss them.
Thanks for an encouraging post!

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Shanna February 1, 2008 - 9:28 pm

I cannot even imagine these times gone. Thank you so much for your posts.

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Mrs. and Mama K February 9, 2008 - 2:07 pm

good stuff!

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Grateful for Grace August 29, 2010 - 6:19 pm

I agree wholeheartedly! I’m facing the possibility that our 2yo is the last baby and have been having more than a few crying episodes about it. Little ones are so blessedly unique to parent and appreciate.

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HeatherHH August 29, 2010 - 7:36 pm

My children are almost 9, 7, 5, 3, 19 months, and due in 2 weeks. I have never understood comments about not being able to go to the bathroom alone. Like most things, it’s largely about what you establish as the norm. When I need to go to the bathroom, I go in and shut the door, and that’s just it. The same thing with showers; I just take them.

Now, of course, my children demand my time and attention in other ways, like the newborn that will be waking me up at night any day now. But, yes, they are most definitely worth it, and I pray that the last child to be born to me is many years and children down the road.

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Mrs W August 29, 2010 - 9:52 pm

Heather, I’ve never understood it either. Instead of letting our children run things, if we need to go to the bathroom, we just go. It’s not customary to have the children there watching. Although, we do only have one bathroom, so if one of the kids needs to use the potty while we use the bathroom, we let them do that.

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wordwarrior August 29, 2010 - 10:05 pm

Heather and Mrs. W.,

Just so you know….the “not going to the potty alone” was mostly tongue-in-cheek. I do go to the potty alone 😉 though sometimes there’s a little one calling me from outside the door.

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ladyscott August 29, 2010 - 8:10 pm

Oh, I dread that day, too. It is difficult to not get grumbly. It is difficult to maintain a balance between reality with young children and keeping the floors cleaned just enough to not encourage mice and ants to move in. LOL!

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Kim M August 29, 2010 - 8:28 pm

Thank you for reminding us to cherish even those things that most consider irritating. Life can be a beautiful mess.

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Ruby August 29, 2010 - 8:41 pm

Sigh….my baby is eleven.
Going all on your own is not what it’s cracked up to be!!!
Enjoy your precious years with little ones underfoot.

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Charity August 29, 2010 - 9:34 pm

Beautiful post Kelly. Thank you for reposting! I need to be reminded of this daily. Seems like there is a never ending abundance of crumbs on my kitchen floor, and sometimes I think I might as well sweep ’em all up and toss them in a casserole dish for supper! But I know one day my floors will be all sparkly and I will have other options for supper 🙁 …and when I think of that, the crumbs don’t seem like such a big deal anymore!
Thank you for reminding me to cherish this time! Blessings…

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Jennifer August 29, 2010 - 10:08 pm

Kelly, is that you singing on the Scripture CD?

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wordwarrior August 29, 2010 - 10:16 pm

Yes, it is. You bought the download, right?

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Jennifer August 29, 2010 - 11:59 pm

Well, I had to ask for it to be refunded when I realized it wasn’t the CD, and I never listened to it. Until tonight (the samples). You have the most beautiful voice!

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Word Warrior August 30, 2010 - 6:26 am

Thank you!

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Melissa August 30, 2010 - 7:52 am

The sun is not up, it is overcast and today I could feel like whining. I needed this today. The voices of my little ones have been at my nerves this weekend. Boys, so loud! I needed the reminder that when they are gone it will be quiet and I will miss the noise. I have too much to do today to let whining and self pity win!

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Sarah August 30, 2010 - 8:22 am

Thanks for the perspective!

Sarah

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Aimee Cabrera August 30, 2010 - 9:22 am

Kelly, praying for you and empathizing with you…..I could have written this post this morning LOL. So good to remind each other that we have so many blessings and we will miss all the craziness when they grow up. I do long for a truly ‘clean’ house now & then, but I wouldn’t ever trade a clean house for my wonderful children! God is so good!

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Mandy August 30, 2010 - 10:29 am

Kelly,
You are so right…this time passes away far too quickly. And while you are in the midst trying to function with too little sleep you feel like it will always be like this. We have 9 children…28 to 11 years old. 4 are married…ONLY 5 are left at home. The house is clean and uncluttered, fairly organized and quiet. Oh, how I miss toys on the floor, cries of a little one wanting to be picked up, squabbles between siblings, wet diapers, little boo-boos that needs mom’s special kiss, loads and loads of little peoples clothes in the laundry and lack of sleep because a toddlers is sick in the middle of the night. My mom all too often told me that this time will be way to short…I now know…treasure it daily. Keep a journal about all the special things that happen each day…read it…it will be a treasure when the house is quiet. Yes, we still have 5 young ladies at home and we enjoy them and we do have grandchildren visit occasionally. But the house is too quiet and too clean. And one day we will be alone again..just hubby and I.

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Ashley August 30, 2010 - 11:17 am

I have a 4yo, 2yo and a 18mo … (our 4th daughter only lived 12 minutes this July, due to annecephaly, hence the gap).

I DO get to go to the bathroom by myself – but usually it’s just a fluke. It’s just not a priority to me. 😉 LOL My three all nap together in the afternoon and I usually have 2-3 hours all alone and it gets QUIET!

Children are precious. Privacy is way over rated.

I never “sleep by myself” and actually rarely “shower by myself” either, but that’s okay because I love my husband.

I really think the missing ingredient is love. It’s hard to watch someone else sacrifice for the ones they care about, in their own special way, without thinking “Whoa, I couldn’t do that!”

Good post. 🙂

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Kelly L August 30, 2010 - 12:28 pm

Nice post! Great reminders…
My daughter AND my husband often find the need to talk to me when on the potty. If I tolerate it, it must not be that bad, huh?

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Ginger August 31, 2010 - 8:42 pm

Ok, my floors are almost always dirty, there are fingerprints on the windows of my “giant van”, and I frequently find toys in my room, but I never, and I mean never, let anyone join me when I’m doing my business!
As a result, that’s where I go when I need to have a private phone conversation with hubby in the middle of the day. LOL I sit on the closed toilet as he tells me an alternative way to teach fractions to my kid that just isn’t getting it. lol

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Moshe Meazell February 15, 2012 - 3:42 pm

The smaller the skirt, the bigger the daddy issues.

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