Author

Kelly Crawford

Hello! I’m Kelly and I’m glad you’re here. I’m a wife and mom, just like you. I get it. I know how hard the days can be, and how you might feel like you’re spinning your wheels or that no one sees or appreciates your work.

motherhood/family/parenting

To Hold or Not to Hold: Baby Detachment?

by Kelly Crawford February 13, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

Maybe I’m reading too far into this, but I have just noticed a trend among new mothers–particularly young ones, that seems to go hand-in-hand with our mindset of detaching with young children. (I know it’s not a new trend, but maybe I haven’t given it much thought until now.)

I was meeting with a bride and her mother and grandmother today–for about 30 minutes. When they arrived, they retrieved a bulky–one of those heavy-duty–strollers out of the car. The bride placed her 1 month old baby in the stroller, and then lugged it up the stairs and into the room where we met.

The grandmother announced, “I just came to help with the baby”. The baby remained in the stroller the whole time and when she whimpered, the mother would stick a bottle in her mouth.

Small incident, I know, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how odd it seemed to me. Why go through all the trouble with that huge stroller when there were three of them to hold the baby, who at 1 month was really easy to handle?

Why not hold the baby?

And of course we have all kinds of gadgets to entertain baby–bouncy seats, jumpy seats, twirly seats–I’ve heard it called “plastic mothering”, and I’ve just recently given it more serious thought.

Not that I never placed my child in these! Of course I have. But to make it the default position, even if it’s more trouble, was what piqued my curiosity.

Is it part of the “detachment syndrome” we are seeing where mothers jet back to work and leave behind their 6-week old behind? Which came first? The leaving, or the detaching? Is it detaching at all?

Just curious about your thoughts…I’m open.

February 13, 2009 65 comments

motherhood/family/parenting

Formula for Destiny: Motherhood’s Best Work

by Kelly Crawford February 11, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

Formula for Destiny: Motherhood’s Best Work

Aside from seeing my children love the Lord, their development of character is the highest priority on my list. It determines who they are and largely, what they will become. And what my children become and what your children become determines who *WE* become.

It’s so simple we overlook it…”character–it’s everything“.

We’re reading a book called “The Case for Character” and the simple, profound truth comes underneath me as a mother, and bears me up to persevere, keep working and embracing this beautiful, arduous job.

There’s a simple formula as true as the law of physics:

Thoughts determine actions…

Actions determine habits…

Habits determine character…

Character determines destiny.

And here’s what it means for us in the daily grind:

These precious children are born with a sin nature. And that nature will constantly push itself to the surface. If left unchecked, that sin nature in them will develop into bad habits and then into bad character and can ultimately have devastating results.

Someone has to be there–someone WILL be there–all the time–either bending that little sapling back, REMINDING, REPLACING those naturally bad habits with good ones, or allowing the bad ones to become stronger until the tree is permanently crooked.

And here comes that delicious, mother-irony again…

We spend our days doing what others may say is little. And looking in on one moment of time, it is little. But the really important things are done a little bit at a time.

Ronald Regan put it well:

“The character that takes command in moments of crucial choices has already been determined. It has been determined by a thousand other choices made earlier in seemingly unimportant moments…it has been determined by all the day-to-day decisions made when life seemed easy and crises seemed far away, the decisions that, piece by piece, bit by bit, developed habits of discipline or of laziness, habits of self-sacrifice or self-indulgence; habits of duty and honor and integrity–or dishonor and shame.”

Does it get any bigger? Can I trust the character of my children–can we trust the character of our children to anyone else?

And so I say to my little one, again, tiring as it is, “No, you may not speak unkindly. Say ‘would you excuse me please’, not ‘MOVE!’….go on, say it the right way.”

Forming habits, one thought, one action at a time–being there in the little moments, to fortify the character that will stand in the big ones–the character that will one day bear us all up or tear us all down.

February 11, 2009 13 comments

Gatto: State Controlled Consciousness (Public School)

by Kelly Crawford February 11, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

I think I’ve posted this video before, but it’s worth posting again. If you are hesitant to believe that the original model of public school began with a dangerous agenda, J.T. Gatto details the proof and origin of that agenda.

Interestingly, though his book and this interview took place years ago, we can see all the more clearly the truth of his claims in our current system.

Remember the post the other day about “doing away with traditional family ideals”? This was the very intent from the beginning–“family structure is a hindrance to a Utopian society and children have to be separated from it”.

PLEASE listen, ponder then pass it on–don’t be afraid!

February 11, 2009 35 comments

homeschooling motherhood/family/parenting public school

The New Dumbness–Gatto and Public School

by Kelly Crawford February 11, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

“Ordinary people send their children to school to get smart, but what modern schooling teaches is dumbness.”

I realize it’s quite possible you get tired of my posting about public school. But if you asked me to narrow down our social problems to ONE thing, I would probably owe the bulk, or at least the beginning of it to the mass public school crisis.

Crisis? Yes. As readers have proven before, most people don’t see the public school system as a *bad* thing and certainly not a crisis. This is part of the plan. “They” tell us it’s wonderful and we believe them and send our children there. The frightening results of the terrorist lifestyle begins as they “teach” their small children to think a certain way; so it is here…”whoever controls the children controls the culture”.

(And please don’t take my passion against public school as a personal insult; I have wonderful friends and family with children in the system; I’m not *against you*…the very reason I address it is because I’m FOR you! I ache to see Christians understand the dilemma and begin discipling their children.)

“Old-fashioned dumbness used to be simple ignorance; now it is transformed from ignorance into permanent mathematical categories of relative stupidity like “gifted and talented,” “mainstream,” “special ed.” Categories in which learning is rationed for the good of a system of order. Dumb people are no longer merely ignorant. Now they are indoctrinated, their minds conditioned with substantial doses of commercially prepared disinformation dispensed for tranquilizing purposes.” JTG

With all that’s going on in our nation, it has caused me to reflect even deeper about “how we got here”. There are no easy answers, of course. And no one answer. But I keep going back to the fact that we created a group of people who willinging accepted a socialist agenda. We have just said “yes” to a socialist government.

We–formerly hard-working Americans who built a country from the ground up…who believed the government had very little power beyond enforcing the civil law…who believed in personal responsibility–Americans who worked til we dropped and were willing to die so that our grandchildren could have a free place to live, have, in a few short years, become lazy, selfish, immoral idiots who want everything given to us and have such a perverted sense of government and personal responsibility that we’re paying for it like no other nation ever has. Where suffering was once a bedrock of building character, now the constant attempt to escape any hardship has pushed us to kill our own children!

And as long as I know Christians who still don’t understand the seriousness of what the public school system has to do with this, I will keep talking about it. I know I risk upsetting people; but this is one of those “cliff up ahead” that I cannot keep silent about.

If anything else, read, learn, research. At least be open to consider the arguments that exist.

John Taylor Gatto’s “The Underground History of American Education” is probably the most telling work about the public educational system. A public school educator himself for 30 years, he stands as qualified as any to reveal the system’s destructiveness.

His assertion, in a nutshell, is that we have systematically and purposely mass-produced a nation full of dumb people in order to control them. What do you think?

“The individual has no chance to exercise his judgment either on principal questions or on their implication; this leads to the atrophy of a faculty not comfortably exercised under [the best of] conditions…Once personal judgment and critical faculties have disappeared or have atrophied, they will not simply reappear when propaganda is suppressed…years of intellectual and spiritual education would be needed to restore such faculties.”

And just an interesting side note, I’ve heard so many times in an argument against homeschooling that “public school children are given the opportunity to think”…which is directly opposite the observation above.

“A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher.” Luke 6:40

And the main reason I keep talking? I don’t believe the damage to our nation is irreversible. I believe when God’s people begin understanding their crucial responsibility to train and disciple their children in godliness, character and love–take them back from the government, we will begin to see a revolution. And THAT is why I keep talking 😉

Excerpts taken from: The New Dumbness from The Underground History of American Education

February 11, 2009 22 comments

homeschooling motherhood/family/parenting public school

Reason 824 to Get Your Kids Out of Public School

by Kelly Crawford February 10, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

“The Supreme Court unanimously ruled that people have the right to sue schools over sexual discrimination….

And I think what it ultimately will mean is –that schools will pass as a reaction to this [will require] homosexual sensitivity training programs. [T]hey’ll call them ‘no bullying’ laws or ‘sensitivity’ or ‘tolerance’ laws, but actually what it will be are laws that will focus on homosexuality,” he contends. “And anybody who says anything that is negative against homosexuality or in support of traditional morality-which, by the way, discriminates against nontraditional immorality — is going to be subject to these particular laws”

Laying all ethical/moral issues aside, (and there is plenty for Christians to discuss) how can the public school really be a place of academic instruction when they are consumed with petty litigation, walking on eggshells to prevent lawsuits that “easy-money” parents will be waiting to jump at?

Schools continue to fail miserably in their basic responsibilities to teach children and instead grow as a social reform institution whose job is to remove any and all preconceived ideas about family, tradition or truth.

Let me repeat what is happening in case you missed it in the quote: the public school system is basically being forced to be neutral (actually it’s biased to the *other* agendas, but they don’t want us to know that) to the extent that talking about the traditional family will, by default, be *discrimination*. Children are being indoctrinated to believe there is no such thing as a family the way societies have always structured them. Family has been redefined as any group of people who live together??? If that.

I recently had a conversation with a new school teacher, fresh out of college in her first year teaching. She said, very condescendingly to me while shaking her head “no”, “Kelly, the family is dead…it doesn’t exist anymore”. This is what they’re telling the teachers, and that is the message being perpetuated to a new generation.

I’m not even tip-toeing anymore…Christians, get your kids out of public school.

Public Schools are Tolerance Training

“Public school is a place of detention for children placed in the care of teachers who are afraid of the principal, principals who are afraid of the school board, school boards who are afraid of the parents, parents who are afraid of the children, and children who are afraid of nobody.”
-Anonymous

February 10, 2009 10 comments

health

Medicine Mom 101–Your Home Remedies Wanted!

by Kelly Crawford February 9, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

Been thinking a lot lately of the importance of learning things–practical things–that are assets to my family.

Years ago, women were trained in the areas of natural medicine and emergency first aid and such, and people didn’t run to the doctor over a sniffle.

There has been a renewal of education among women seeking a more natural alternative to health, but I think many of us still feel pretty inadequate.

I was thinking of compiling a handy ebook about basic health care/home remedies–and I still may–but I thought it would be extremely beneficial if we all pooled our knowledge together here! (And if I do decide to compile them in a book, I’ll cite your name/blog if you wish!)

As the economy continues to worsen, I can’t think of a better set of knowledge skills to acquire than that of home remedies and natural health care.

Would you consider leaving your favorite home remedy or natural health care advice in a comment? People visit old posts for years, so the information would be constantly available for those searching. And if you have a friend particularly knowledgeable about it, point her here.

We are always stronger as a “community”. As the Lord blesses us with information and gifts, I think it is appropriate and exciting to share them with the body. I am looking forward to learning about better and more economical ways to care for my family.

February 9, 2009 68 comments

christian living motherhood/family/parenting

Say "No" to Anxiety, "Yes" to Dominion Work

by Kelly Crawford February 8, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

Anxiety is certainly a common visitor these days as we watch the culture become increasingly hostile to Christianity.

But wait…anxiety is a sin.

The message we heard at church this morning meshed with the 40th chapter of Isaiah I had just read and I left feeling so free from anxiety. Free, and at peace, and almost ecstatic.

And ever more inspired as a mother!

I’ll try to be brief as the thoughts overflow from a storehouse tonight, but the message discussed how our eschatology “comes out our fingertips” and determines the way we live and think.

Eschatology is one’s view of the end times.

Unpopular as it may be, we believe in a “post-millennium” view of the end times. We believe (and our belief is based on much-studied Scripture and commentary, not just a “picked out of the air theology) that the Bible teaches before the final end of times, the world will actually grow increasingly more saturated with the gospel.

A brief look at our small time and space right here in history doesn’t seem to point to that view, but a broad sweep of history, over the last 6,000 years reveals that God’s kingdom has steadily gained momentum in the world.

As such, we believe that man’s taking dominion is still in progress, and that God delights in working generationally (always has) through time and that the work we are doing now will have an impact on the culture for years to come.

We do not believe in cowering in a corner, holding on by our fingernails watching the sky for His return at any second. We look forward to it, YES, but we believe there is still work to do, (“when you see these signs–wars, natural disasters, etc….the time is NOT YET come”).

We know that God is sovereign, NOTHING surprises Him, not one molecule is out of His control, and His purposes are being fulfilled in everything.

AND…we are an integral part of that plan! We are not to fret over evildoers, but to persevere in obedience, not grow weary in well-doing, and REJOICE always, especially amidst a dark and gloomy culture.

We cherish the womb because it is our first perpetuation of the gospel through the ages. We think generationally–what can I do now that will impact my grandchildren? How am I raising my children to bring up another strong, godly generation? We are important stepping stones in the fulfilling of God’s ultimate purposes.

Hang on, gals! Walk straight, let serenity be your cloak; look nowhere but heavenward for your cues. And see in your children your great-grand children, and let that spur you on to finish the race that is set before you.

Do not be dismayed at what is around you! “The nations are as a drop in the bucket”, says the Lord”–from Isaiah 40

For even Satan is bound by the Word of the Lord and is only allowed reign where God gives it.

February 8, 2009 10 comments

christian living motherhood/family/parenting

Catechizing Your Children–Don’t Worry, It Doesn’t Hurt

by Kelly Crawford February 7, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

Some may have never even heard the term “catechism”, so, briefly, it is a summary of the basic Christian beliefs in a Q & A format.

Years ago, catechizing children–that is, having them memorize the catechisms–was as natural for a Christian parent as teaching their children their ABC’s.

Currently, few Christians even know what it means. I submit that the loss of the catechism tradition plays a huge part in why many Christians are so shallow in their knowledge of theology and the Bible.

As a parent, few things are as important as teaching our children how to handle the Word of God–which begins with the basic tenets of our beliefs. It should be FIRST on our list!

And the catechisms make it so easy. To a parent who asks, “How do I teach the Word of God to my children?” There isn’t an easier answer than to begin with the simple instruction of the catechisms.

We prefer the Shorter Catechisms with our children–and even as named such, there are 107 questions and answers to prove challenging to even adults!

As already mentioned, great spiritual heroes of the past were taught these tenets of the faith as early as they could talk, and expected to learn them before anything else.

I admit that we have waxed and waned in our teaching of the catechisms. But my husband and I were talking last night that we need to revisit the practice and see it through.

These make GREAT exercises for school, by the way, particularly incorporated into copy work.

I challenge you…it may seem overly simple or pointless, but I think you’ll be amazed at how much wisdom and knowledge is imparted through these questions, and how often you’ll refer back to them as you daily instruct your children.

February 7, 2009 22 comments

motherhood/family/parenting

Joyful Motherhood

by Kelly Crawford February 7, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

A reader asked,

“Would you mind doing a post on being Joyful in Motherhood – especially on the crazy, bad days. I have really lost my joy these days (I am sure pregnancy has something to do with it). And I have ZERO desire to read or listen to things that I know will help. Any Godly advice or suggestions you have will help.”

This is a timely question as I have struggled, too, with the heaviness of all the dismal uncertainty surrounding our nation’s future.

“Women are like spaghetti”, I heard a counselor say. Everything in our brains is connected. One emotion spills over into the next, and all of life’s experiences are intertwined. These can wreak havoc on a mother’s emotions–and that doesn’t even account for the roller-coaster hormones!

For me, it helps to start with realizing that some days I am truly affected by abnormal hormone levels and I just need to survive through it. I’m not even opposed to distraction–anything to keep my irritation or irrational behavior from affecting my family. (A whole post could be written about foods that can help or aggravate hormones, and also how exercise is directly related to our emotional state–endorphins are good!)

Go somewhere. Go for a walk. Play some lively music. Watch a movie. Sometimes a simple change of scenery can help. I remind myself–“this is not me, it will pass”, and it helps me keep perspective.

Our moods are greatly affected by our thoughts, and our thoughts reflect the things we dwell on. I hardly ever watch/listen to the news because all of the horrible stories they seem to magnify can consume my thoughts.

There is fine line between “staying in the dark” and keeping abreast of needful information. But sometimes a media break replaced with “happy thoughts” is the best medicine. That’s more than a cheesy suggestion too. Research backs it up. (And the Bible did long before…”whatever things are true, honest, pure, just, lovely, of good report–think on these things”.)

Or maybe reminding ourselves of the tragedies we’ve been spared helps put life back in perspective. When my children complain about petty things, I remind them of children who can’t walk, or don’t have basic necessities, etc….we would do well to remember those things too!

Hebrews 13:15 says: “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise – the fruit of lips that confess His name”.

I’ve always thought of this verse meaning that the sweetest praise is that offered when we least feel like it. Praise Him verbally, write it down, praise Him to your children–but praise Him. The Lord dwells among praise!

And how often do we fail to look to God for help? Do we ever just cry out, “Lord, today is so hard–I need you to help me!” And perhaps that prayer needs to be accompanied by repentance.

David had his joy robbed from him because of unconfessed sin. Often God will remove our joy to restore our hearts. It should be a time of searching.

Ironically, while I was cleaning out some papers this morning, I ran across a poem I wrote years ago…I encourage you, we all have hard days, we are all fallen and none of us have it together. But we are not alone! He’s waiting for us to simply ask–“Faithful is He who called you Who also will do it.”

Though now I stand in a valley dark, I do not stand alone,

There is One who stands with me, so gentle yet so strong.

He is my refuge and my shield, He holds me in His arms–

He’s my Heavenly Father and in Him I’m safe from harm.

He never promised me a life that’s free from pain or tears,

But promised He would never leave and that allays my fears.

Because no matter what I face or how my heart may break,

My Father knows and hurts with me, He longs to soothe the ache.

I know not what tomorrow holds and yesterday is gone,

So on my knees I pray today for strength to carry on.

Father grant me faith and hope as I walk through the storm,

And may I reach the other side stronger than before.

Devotions, Advice & Renewal for When Motherhood Feels Too Hard

“The eBook? AMAZING!!!!! It’s what you need, I guarantee it!” -Jennifer, Renewing Housewives

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or get the Kindle version

February 7, 2009 3 comments

feminism marriage motherhood/family/parenting

Women Hold the Keys to Real Power and Influence

by Kelly Crawford February 5, 2009

written by Kelly Crawford

Irony constantly leaps out of God’s order as it opposes what those around us say.

As women in this century, we face lies about our power at every turn. As we hear more and more about the “danger and oppression” of traditional family roles and marriage, and how women must fight for their independence from everything around them, we see women becoming weaker and weaker under the guise of power, and ultimately, it weakens our entire infrastructure as a nation.

As Keeper of my home, I hold keys. Important, powerful keys. Keys to the immediate doors of my family, and keys to the future of my civilization.

What we’re witnessing around us politically and culturally may not appear to be directly related to our roles as women. But it is my opinion that it has everything to do with it. I fully understand why the forerunners of socialism and communism said, “We must influence the women first”.

And even as a woman who understands the concept of “holding keys”, am I being diligent to use them properly, to their fullest potential? Even we can get slack, or apathetic, or discouraged. I know I sometimes do.

So what are those keys that I hold, and how can I better use them?

Key #1 Doubling the power of my family’s influence.

When God so wisely constructed marriage, he built a relationship where two people became one stronger entity. They completed each other, they did not compete. The enemy seeks to create competition because it divides that entity and thereby restrains the power of a unified family.

Consider all the ways a family is divided against itself…every time members go in opposite directions to fulfill roles or achieve goals that are counter to each other, the family is divided and weakened. Even the church has fallen party to dividing the family.

As a wife I have the opportunity to fortify my husband, and reinforce my family on a daily basis as we all work toward the same vision and goals.

Key #2 Building the next generation.

It’s no secret when we look around that we sorely lack responsible, intelligent, moral, wise leaders. Should we be surprised? Those kinds of people don’t just show up. A lot of sacrifice is involved in creating those people. Am I willing to make that sacrifice? Every day? Can I see the diaper-dragging toddler as a politician that may move mountains one day? When she’s bathing her dolly in the toilet, do I imagine that this baby will grow up to be a strong mother of leaders?

Somebody has to build the next generation, or we will all pay.

Key #3 Strengthening families around me.

A true “key-holder” knows that her influence extends beyond her own family. How can we build others up? Are we looking for practical needs around us to be filled? Physical, spiritual, emotional ones? Are we available to help meet those needs? “She extends her hand to the needy.”

If women everywhere would understand their influence and exercise it in just these three key areas, we would see a revolution. Our power lies in reaching beyond ourselves and most often denying our immediate desires. It lies in vision, in seeing beyond today and being willing to do what’s hard, what’s unpopular or unseen in order to propel the strength of a nation.

Cling to the irony of truth–“he who loses his life will find it”.

February 5, 2009 8 comments

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