Nick Vujicic–Life Without Limbs
Nick’s father said about first seeing his newborn son, “I just thought, ‘What kind of life will he have? I just thought he would lie there like a vegetable”.
Nick says, “I feel like I’ve accomplished more than most 25-years olds and that I’ve had a more fulfilling life than the average person…I know I have no arms and legs, but I don’t feel disabled.”
Too many stories are surfacing in the news lately of parents who want to abort their “defective” babies. Babies who were even wanted before the defects were discovered.
There is the tragic story of a young woman who, even after naming and registering her “very wanted baby”, aborted at 33 weeks, and then died herself.
Today I read of a couple who hired a surrogate and then discovered, at five months, that their baby girl had heart defects and pressured the surrogate mother to abort the active child within her. She refused and fled the state to protect its life. (The now-one-year-old girl has been adopted by a new family.)
According to one study, “as many as four out of every 1000 recognized pregnancies are terminated in the second trimester for fetal abnormality” as discovered during prenatal diagnostic testing. The deVeber Institute
At least 70% of babies who are prenatally diagnosed with Down’s are aborted.
What won’t leave me is the irony and the justification given for these deaths.
“It’s not fair to do that to a child.” (As if we are able to predict, with any accuracy, what that child’s life will be like, or that we should even try to define “a fulfilling life”.) How can it be noble to claim I am “protecting” a child by killing it?
“Be merciful, like God, and terminate the pregnancy.” (That was what the birth parents told the surrogate in the above referenced story. She was also told by others that she was “being cruel” to carry the child to term; the child who, despite her defects, plays and appears to be just as happy as any other child.)
So many are willing to defend the right to kill a child who isn’t even born based on an undetermined assumption of “health and well-being”.
The irony is this: people born with disabilities are good for US, and they rarely “suffer” as much as an average person might during his lifetime. God works mysteriously through suffering, without which, we would become (and are becoming) a cold, calloused, self-absorbed people. It is not our job to avoid suffering that comes by supernatural means; it is our job to protect, love and defend those who suffer, and enjoy the blessing that comes, unexpectedly, from that.
Ask any parent with a Down’s syndrome child or other disability, about the added joy and enrichment he has brought to the lives of all he touches. And then ask him about that child’s “suffering”, his “unfair” life because he has a disability.
One of the most moving stories I’ve ever read is The Power of the Powerless, a story of Oliver, a boy born severely disabled, dependent on his family for his most basic needs. A “vegetable”, as his brother explains. And yet the power Oliver had, not only on his family and friends, but now the world over, through the testimony of his brother, is utterly astounding. A power that continues, now years after Oliver’s death. Caring for Oliver’s every need ENRICHED the people in his life. He was born for them, for us.
We must not, we cannot, let our assumptions cause us to play God, taking the lives of these valuable human beings. We must fight for the powerless.
May I suggest we all have disabilities, most much worse than those suffering from a physical one.
Our selfishness and fear has driven us to justify what has become America’s greatest shame.
Every life is full of potential.
Watch: America’s Only Restaurant Owner With Down’s Syndrome
And for more incredible inspiration, there’s The Drop Box
49 comments
“Be merciful, like God, and terminate the pregnancy.” (That was what the birth parents told the surrogate in the above referenced story. She was also told by others that she was “being cruel” to carry the child to term”
This made me think. There are many, many pregnancies that self terminate when there are defects beyond hope of survival. Most miscarriages (I’m assuming) are due to some kind of abnormality that prevented the fertilized egg/embryo/fetus/baby from continuing to develop. This is something that God created BY DESIGN to manage those situations. (We could have a whole other discussion of the Fall and the Curse and the effect that has on life here) But I believe that if the mother’s body and the developing baby itself do not self-terminate, then it is obviously not up to us to consciously destroy that life thinking we are doing anyone a favor by doing so.
I never had really thought of it like that before, but maybe God built in the capacity to send a soul straight to Heaven when He deemed their life outside the womb to not be viable. In that case, it certainly does not make sense for us to make that decision ourselves.
I realize I’m speaking from what some would say an “easy” position, having had three healthy pregnancies and babies so far. But I don’t think that makes it any less true.
YES. This is an awesome post and comment.
I clicked over and read the story on the woman who died after aborting her 33-week premature baby. The article pointed a finger at the doctor only. If the mother dies in the abortion process, is she no longer guilty for committing murder?
Thank you for shining a light on this! This is a subject I feel so passionately about. Even among believers, there are a growing number of people who find it perfectly acceptable to kill their unborn children upon receiving a diagnosis of birth defects. Someone I grew up with aborted a child upon learning of its Down Syndrome diagnosis, and that was just absolutely heartbreaking.
I did work outside the home at one point in my life and I worked with disabled young adults so I was able to see firsthand not only what joy these folks found in life, but also I was privileged to see some of the wonderful things God worked in their families. I am now an at-home wife and I still work with families who have a family member(or members) with a disability, helping to plan for their future care, estate planning needs, etc.., and as I listen to people stories, one can so clearly see God at work in these lives. I’m sorry to go on and on here, but I had to tell you that I am so thankful to see someone standing up against the conventional wisdom that seems to tell us that aborting the disabled is now somehow “acceptable.”
Amy, It’s so backward, isn’t it? That we could get here…seems impossible and yet that’s what happens to sin, after it is “fully grown”.
As a parent of a 9-year-old with Down Syndrome, I can attest to the delight he brings to our household. He has a special bond with his dad that just makes them both so happy.
I often think of the people who abort those babies, thinking they’re saving themselves heartache and aggravation and expense. And they are, I suppose, but they’re also denying themselves rewards not just in this life, but the next. “Whatever you have done unto the least of these, you have done unto Me…”
You’re right that we have it backwards as a society. These broken people are given to us to bless us and change us in ways only God can. When my sweet boy was born, my perspicacious husband said, “God knows what we need in our lives to make us into the people He designed us to be.” And how true that is.
Thank you for your boldness, Kelly. You’re a gem.
Annie–*loved this*
What are your thoughts about the cost of it all though? By the time this baby is 1, it could very well have cost the taxpayers 3 million… and it will be government dependent forever. Every specialist it sees, there is another grand. And you are getting the bill. If it bankrupts the states, then there isn’t money to care for the other babies. There could be even more deaths. The mothers of these children will need food stamps, housing, and other government help because of the cost of having a disabled child. 10 years ago the 2yo child of a co-worker needed a heart transplant- it was a million dollars. And this girl has more problems than that… What is your opinion if they ever stop government health care? Will society pick up the bill willfully?
People are worth more than $$. Simple as that.
Laura,
Your comments are unfounded and unethically illogical on many levels.
Most importantly, we NEVER make a decision to kill someone based on a question of cost. The world if full of costly medical conditions; we don’t just wave a gun around and kill everyone who is a financial liability. The ethical consequences of that logic is a nightmare.
Secondly, a disabled child doesn’t necessarily cost tax payers…there are so many factors that determine what type of financial care they need/receive.
The mothers of these children do NOT necessarily need government assistance; and frankly, if we’re going to put government money anywhere, this would be the most deserving place.
It is illogical not to think how you are to going afford medical care? Poor people know that you (conservatives) want to take away their health care. it is a factor in decisions, In the case of the surrogate, she was very poor. No job, single and she has other children. And she was willing to abort- for a price- 15K. she lived off the government and the charities. You may not want to lie in reality- but money is a factor. Do you live a fantasy world where surgeons operate for free? And when Conservatives have their way with health care- hard choices about life and death will have to be made- most be wont be able to everything their families need.
Laura,
There is no point for a person like you to have this discussion with a person like me, because we hold two different world views, and those views guide our decisions. Is isn’t my “conservative” view, it’s my biblical one.
Your view allows you to make up the rules–be your own god, based on your assessment of a circumstance. This view, by the way, has caused disaster from day one. Your view allows you to kill people based on what YOU decide is best for you and others.
My view holds that God is absolutely sovereign over life–difficulties and all. My view holds that there are always other options–thousands of families who would love to adopt a special needs child if a mother can’t afford it, for example. My view believes that God is able to do miracles, that life isn’t about avoiding suffering, and that difficult circumstances DO arise, but they never give us authority over life.
In the end, if a mother is worried that she can’t afford a child, there are numerous options for her to give her baby to someone willing to take on those expenses.
Sin brings immeasurable brokenness into the world; but more sin doesn’t fix it. Ever.
No there are NOT numerous chances to give a disablied child to someone who can afford it. That is a lie if you ever have told one. There are more disabled child looking for homes than people willing to adopt them. Google foster child in need of homes. Go to adoption agencies websites, look at the children with special needs that don’t have a homes. And if you have a violent kid, forget about, it will grow up in a group home. You think abortion is wrong, but you ignore the root cause it. You can live in your fantasy world where everything turns out ok and there are plenty of homes for all the babies. There aren’t. Anybody can look and see that for themselves.
And still, the fault is not in giving life to these babies. The answer isn’t killing them. I never said there were easy solutions and everything works out beautifully. We live in a fallen, sin-filled world. The consequences of that are all around. But committing more sin, more crime, more injustice to try to “fix” it? That’s irrational and evil.
Perhaps the mothers worry that the next time a conservative president is in office he will take away their healthcare and they will not be able to afford medical care for the disabled child or their other children. It is not an easy situation, hard choices have to be made. I do not envy these women.
Laura,
You seem to assume all these people are poor and can’t afford health insurance. The couple in the second example paid for in vitro fertilization on top of a hefty surrogate fee; your examples are full of assumption.
And still the fact remains: difficult circumstances doesn’t ever justify crime (abortion is a legalized crime). If someone broke into your house and stole your life’s savings, should they be defended on the basis of their difficult circumstances?
Killing people never really solves another problem. And even if it does, it shouldn’t be justified on that basis.
“Today I read of a couple who hired a surrogate and then discovered, at five months, that their baby girl had heart defects and pressured the surrogate mother to abort the active child within her. She refused and fled the state to protect its life”
Oh wow. Praise God for the brave woman! What happened to the mother mentioned before her is so tragic..
Love this. My husband has a rare hereditary disease and when he was diagnosed (at 6 weeks) his parents were told that he would never have a normal life – would never graduate, have a job, have kids. He proved them all wrong, obtaining 3 degrees, becoming the father of our 4 children (none of whom have inherited his condition) and providing for our family. If he had been aborted because of the “suffering” he would endure, he would have never gotten to experience all of life’s blessings.
Wow, Maria, awesome.
This woman lives down the street from me and is an incredible example to me. Read her amazing story here http://liveactionnews.org/high-risk-mother-chooses-life-for-her-daughter-despite-diagnosis-of-severe-genetic-abnormalities/
And check out her blog (she’s the mother of ten mostly grown children) janenebaadsgaard.blogspot.com
Thanks for a great post!
That sweet boy’s picture just made me cry!!! God bless those people for having courage to walk the path set before them.
Oh, and there’s this incredible story of one man doing his part to try to discourage mothers from aborting their disabled children: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/btivie/the-drop-box
Deuteronomy 30:15, “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil”
Notice how life aligns with good, and death with evil. Who in their terminally sin sick mind would choose death and evil? Yet, millions do and have.
Murder against the unborn, cannot be justified, and God does not ignore it.
I loved this post and was so glad to read it this morning. I am the mother of a 12 year old boy with severe autism. The journey has been long and hard but God has used this precious child to change me and positively affect the lives of many others around us. These last few days have been extremely challenging and this post and many of the comments and responses I have read so far have been an encouragement. Thank you for sharing!
It saddens me to think of all the lives that have been lost at the hands of pregnant women and doctors. Having two children with multiple special issues myself, I look at their faces think how sad that world would be without them here.
For those that claim it’s too expensive. You are right. It is very expensive to have one child with special needs, more to have two. But it’s money well spent. We aren’t wealthy, far, far, far from it. But their lives are worth so much more than money. It’s also a lot of hard work. But why should we shirk from hard work?
Life is a creation of God’s and not for us to take, for any reason. My children weren’t supposed to do a lot of things, according to the “experts”. My children are blowing those “not going to’s” out of the water. Some kids don’t surpass what the doctors and such say, but their lives are no less valuable. Every life has value or God wouldn’t have created it.
To say, “well, this living child inside me might cost me too much so let me just kill it” is horrible. We have so many friends who have kids with varying degrees of special needs, all of whom are loved and have worth.
This is a statement of the world we live in where we decide if a human being gets to live based on how much money we think they will cost us, how inconvenienced we might be by their presence in our life, what gender they are, if it’s a good time in our schedule to be pregnant/have a baby, etc. I pray to God that my children will not see my old age in that selfish and self-centered way and will allow me to live out my days realizing I have worth. If you don’t find young life worthy, remember you will be old one day and someone might find that old life doesn’t have worth in their eyes.
If you paid the money- then you had the money. Some people never have money and never will. When someone who has 3 teeth in their mouth, smokes week daily, and takes 3 buses to get to their min wage job, it is not a good thing for them to be pregnant. They will never contribute to the medical bills. Things might have been tight for you, but you could do it. So many can’t.
And this relates to the post and the sanctity of life, how? Perhaps you should reread and consider what the discussion is about.
Laura, you aren’t reading my post well if you thought it was about having money. First, you don’t have a view into our family or finances, so you have no ability to comment on how “tight” our finances are with the care of our children. Let’s just drop that line of discussion because you might be very surprised that my finances disprove your point in a big way.
Second, my point was all life has value, no matter how “perfect” or “imperfect” the world might see it.
I pray that our children don’t look at you, me, or other old adults one day and say, “she is costing us too much, kill her”. How sick of a world is that in which we allow money to end the life of a person. You see dollar signs, God sees life. Your life is no more special than that unborn child’s. Why should we be able to kill that child because we decide he isn’t convenient, cost too much, or it’s “just not a good time in my life to have a baby”, but we can’t kill another person walking the face of this earth for the same reason? There is no logical or intellectually honest way to say it’s OK for one but not the other. God sees them as the same. Man has twisted life in such an ugly way that it’s disposable like an old pair of shoes. Don’t like them, toss them in the trash. You and I have very different views about the world. I use the Creator’s view, you use the world’s twisted view. We will never see eye-to-eye on this because of that.
I think it would be appropriate to make available the beautiful slide presentation of Tommy’s life! All this talk of how much money and all.We are talking about a Human Life here..one that was valued and cherished! If you would like to see it..please just go to my fb page and request me..I am reposting it for people to see! His mother would not mind!! Just look up Keri Hurley…Kelly..you should be able to see it from your generation cedar page..If anyone else wants to see it..just request me.I am putting it back up on my timeline!! You will be able to tell this is Southwest Florida!!..lol.
Keri, I can’t find it on your wall.
I appreciate special needs folks… I was blessed with a Downs baby and he keeps us focused, not just on him… On God.. On our blessings, On others whom have no clue… On praying for them… The family was so sad when I was pregnant with our first child… my 3rd when I was 39.. What if you have a Downs child… WHAT IF??? That same question was asked with our 2nd child… I was 41 then.. That child is the Downs child.. With our 3rd child and me being 43 they gave up asking.. God blesses with what we need… We needed all our children.. Should the LORD bless with more children… We will take all he gives us… We need them too…
I grew up with a sister having severe autism. I have always said that God made her for our family. God has used her to teach us, humble us, and how to have unconditional love. God gave us what we needed, nothing is by accident. It’s a shame to ever think we have the right to refuse what God knows is best. I’m so thankful God chose our family to take her.
You know, I was reading the obituary of the young woman who died as a result of a botched abortion, and saw something that made me wonder. It speaks of her and her baby girl, Madison, being interred at the church, etc… after a funeral and so on. I found it odd that they mentioned the baby being a part of the proceedings in this situation. I mean, if the baby had died of any other circumstances, of course, he/she would be included. But, this baby was aborted. So, had the mother not died, were they going to have a funeral just for the baby? And, if so, doesn’t that just show how much Madison was a little person and this was murder? I mean, it seems that having a funeral and internment for the baby just proves that this was murder. Does this make sense to anyone? I mean no disrespect at all to those who are mourning the tragic situation. But, there is something very wrong and telling about a family that wanted this abortion to happen having a funeral for it. If it was a child that could be mourned and “buried”, then it was murder to take its life–pure and simple. Sorry for rambling, but it just blows my mind the way so many people think so backwards.
Summer,
No, you make an excellent point. Did the family plan to ask for the baby’s body, after the abortion in order to give it a funeral? Doubtful. And why a funeral if, as you said, it wasn’t to mourn the death of a person? Seems completely irrational.
I read the obituary also and thought that something was odd but couldn’t quite figure it out. That’s what it is. If this is truly the right obituary, they had a funeral for an aborted baby. That would mean that they thought of her as a complete person. Everyone who wants to argue out there, keep in mind that this was not a spontaneous abortion. We see funerals for late miscarriages often. This was elective.
And I had to ask why the parents and sister were accompanying the woman and her husband to the abortion clinic. It’s like they were celebrating the birth of the child. But they were celebrating her death. Weird.
You know after I posted my comment. I got to thinking that the family might now feel shame in their decision and had a funeral to hide the fact that the baby had been aborted. I guess no matter how pro life I can be, I still feel sorrow for the family. I can understand why they would not want people in their community to know.
Kelly,
I left a comment yesterday that hasn’t shown up yet…I wondered if it may be in the spam folder since it had a couple of links? Thanks for checking!
Camilla,
I am so sorry! Yes, several links often sends a comment to spam. But I get hundreds (sometimes thousands) of spam a day so I can’t look through the comments–I just delete them each day. I hope you’ll try again 😉
My husband has a 60-year old cousin with Down syndrome. At that time, his parents were told to put him in an institution but they didn’t. Greg grew up in a loving home as part of a loving extended family. He isn’t very verbal but it’s obvious that he can communicate. He knew what was happening when watching his favorite sports teams — the Chicago Cubs and the Green Bay Packers, for example. A friend of mine told me that she saw him drinking in everything that happened at our wedding.
He is a very kind, sweet person; I feel privileged to know him for almost 28 years. Sadly, virtually everyone with Down syndrome develops Alzheimer’s disease when they reach approximately Greg’s age. We can sometimes catch a glimmer of the Greg of the past, but it happens less and less often. The changes are very obvious to us because we live about 475 mi from him and do not see him often.
It breaks my heart that so many women/couples abort Down syndrome children. I’ve also heard there are waiting lists of families who would adopt a Down syndrome baby.
The Sweetest young man from our church with Down Syndrome just passed away. He was 63 and the same thing happened to him. Loss of memory and his heart eventually gave out.
What a Life He lived!! I’m tearing up as I write this. His precious family adopted him when he was 28 yrs. old. He was trying to live in their shed. Yep..you heard me. He was actually older then his adopted mom. She’s 61. She was petrified of him at first because he had a really long beard. She offered him 2 baloney sandwiches if he would go away and he said “make it three”.
When they needed to move here from where they were living..they adopted him and brought him here. Even more amazing..they were not christians at the time. They have 3 grown Bio children and it has been a priviledge and a Blessing to watch them in church loving him, and him loving them and all of our church family.
At his funeral a couple of weeks ago-the church was packed with people who knew him and loved him.Our pastor said it was probably the 3rd biggest funeral in our church history. His parents involved him in their business and he thrived! He was hysterical and we all loved him!! At his funeral, his brother said..”We took him in to love him but he taught us what love really is”..now I’m crying. Just had to share that because his memory will live on. His name is Tommy!!
That’s an amazing story!
I have a friend who was told to abort by her Doc because of a Down’s diagnosis. She is a Christian and was shocked and angry at the suggestion. The baby is now 11 years old and she is physically fine and highly intelligent. You’d be surprised how often the medical practitioner/ ultrasonographer and or technology get it wrong the actual figures are astounding (I would have to ask my friend again about the figures I forget them.)
I had that happen to me! My daughter – who is now 7 was the pregnancy where it happened. Having 2 cousins with severe disabilities – 1 down syndrome & 1 autism, both act like 2-4 yr olds even though both are in their late 20’s now, I know how much love they can give/show/teach us about….I also know the amount of work required to take care of them. In my situation I had gone 8 years with out being able to carry a child to full term due to an incompetent cervix. I doubted that this pregnancy would go to term, but went to the Dr where they instantly put me on bed rest to try and give me a chance to carry to term without having to do the surgery to put a stitch in my cervix like I had done with her brother 8 years prior (and he still came early!). While doing the routine ultrasound they detected “problems” and scheduled me for a more in-depth ultrasound. Yet, they never told me what problem only that they needed to check the baby out further before they could definitively answer me. So a week later I went in and got the next ultrasound done. I was sent to an office to wait for the Dr to check the pictures. When he came in the first thing he said to me was that they saw an indication of Down Syndrome and his “suggestion” was that I have an abortion immediately. I was shocked. After picking my jaw up off the floor I just looked at the guy like he had sprouted 5 heads. I told him that it wasn’t an option. He told me to go home and think about it. He also gave me paperwork to fill out for yet even more testing to see how severe the down syndrome would be – to the best of their prediction anyways. At my next appointment they asked for my paperwork and I told them that I had thrown it out. I shocked them. They couldn’t understand why I wasn’t going to go through with the testing. I told them that God had given me this child and if God saw fit that I carry to term and the child has Down Syndrome then that is what was meant to happen. I didn’t care to have the tests done – especially NOT when the risk of me miscarrying was even higher with the tests!!! I KNEW what I was signing up for. I knew what the possibilities COULD be. I trusted God to do what He was doing and me to not question it.
She is now 7 yrs old and such a pleasure to have. Caring & kind to a fault. She’d give the shirt off her back if someone needed it. So gentle with animals, other kids – especially babies. She taught herself to read AND write by the age of 4. She has been such a blessing. And to think that if that Dr had his way then she might not have ever been born. I did call the clinic that he worked at and reported him. I told them that having a medical Dr telling patients to have abortions was morally AND ethically WRONG…I thought it was his job to protect human lives, not end them.
It is so frustrating to have the medical industry encouraging this. I refused tests on my last pregnancy. Because of my “advanced” age (32) they recommended I have them. I told them the results wouldn’t matter because it wouldn’t change the outcome. God willing I was going to have the baby. My Dr smiled and apologized saying she was REQUIRED to offer it as an option. Crazy!
I think that it is crazy that Dr’s are required to offer options like that….especially when there is NO evidence that these tests are completely accurate. (Not that it would change my mind one bit!) But the Dr I dealt with didn’t give me ALL the options…just said that he “highly” recommended I consider abortion in my pregnancy due to the first ultrasound & then second more in-depth one. There was NO discussion of testing options or anything beyond that word…abortion. It wasn’t until I spoke with the nurse prior to setting up my next appointment that she gave me paperwork and explained the testing that they wanted me to undergo. AND it wasn’t told to me like it was an option to refuse those tests either…it was said from the stand point that I would take the tests regardless of if I cared what the results were or not. It wasn’t until I went home and really thought about it and prayed about this. Wondering if God was testing me possibly?
I realized all along that I wouldn’t/couldn’t go through an abortion – especially after going through such a hard time of carrying to term. Not that the ONLY reason was that…there is also the confusion I have of having a child – feeling it grow inside your womb, go through labor & delivery, hold this precious baby that was entrusted to me to raise, look into their eyes and see total trust & unconditional love – and then the thought of denying your own unborn child of having a life due to a possible (or even definitive) disability that just completely shuts me down.
The really ironic thing about this was that the clinic I was at was associated with a Catholic hospital! The hospital/clinic wouldn’t even do the abortion due to the religious beliefs of the Church, but they would refer patients to another clinic to have the procedure done! While I am not Catholic part of the reason that I chose this clinic was that I had used them in the past and the Dr’s would pray with me both before & after labor and delivery. I felt respected as a person while there and that they treated my religious beliefs with the utmost respect. Regardless to say I never used them again, in fact changed Dr’s in the middle of my pregnancy after the abortion discussion and my refusal of the tests.
Hayley,
My doctor told me that test was highly inaccurate and many normal babies were aborted because of false positive results. He deplores the test and the fact that he is supposed to offer it.
My brother and his expectant wife were told that their first child was Down’s. He graduated at the top of his class two years ago! So much for those horrible tests. I always refused them. Dear friends of our’s have a Down’s Syndrome child, and he is one of the sweetest boys out there. He always has a smile on his face and is a friend to everyone. We can learn a lot from people like him.
Victoria
Twice in the bearing of four children I have had to make very difficult decisions.
The first was when carrying our oldest. I struggled mightily (or pitifully, perhaps) with the decision to resist pre-natal testing. We couldn’t afford it (although that wasn’t the reason– just the justification I finally got the obstetrician to accept), but the real reason was that, as a liberal-minded 23-year-old, I felt I would have a social obligation to abort if anything were “wrong.” I knew about the possibility of false positives and didn’t want to wrestle with THAT decision, so I chose not to know.
I no longer believe in a “social obligation to abort.”
Which makes the other challenge very, very ironic. Also more than a little sick.
When I was carrying our lastborn, I was also taking antidepressants. I worried constantly, but given the situation at the time, there was no functional way around it. I worried CONSTANTLY about the effect they might be having on the baby; as a result, I had a lot of extra office visits and ultrasounds. When those failed to pacify my anxiety, the OB sent me to a maternal-fetal medicine clinic for a high-definition ultrasound.
That did a lot to soothe my nerves (and got me some really great pics of Abby at 25 weeks). However, it also came very close to resulting in an altercation (and has caused a lot of tears since). Part of the package was genetic counselling; like an idiot, I chose to be completely truthful. The genetic counsellor and I had a rather intense discussion about our opinions of the need to learn to predict autism (I’m sure you can guess who held what view!).
And then the doctor, based on my diagnosis of very mild HFA, had the unmitigated gall to suggest that I abort my perfectly healthy 25-week-old daughter. Despite the fact that I was already competently parenting three children and doing a bunch of other stuff. Despite the fact that I was obviously functional, verbal (enough to have to break my questions down into shorter words and smaller components so she could understand them), intelligent, capable of keeping myself clean, and capable of navigating South Florida drivers in the wintertime (no mean feat, even for my MIL who’s been doing it for 30 years) to get myself to the clinic.
The struggle was not with whether or not to abort. The struggle was to get out of the clinic without raising my voice or becoming uncivil, to stop crying tears of rage once I got to the parking lot, and to rediscover a sense of self-worth in view of her attitude.
One wonders how much she stood to make from selling the “tissue.”
Obviously, we did not abort. I did caution my obstetrician against sending any more women there. Jury’s still out on whether Abby has a touch of autism (ask me if I care if she does– I do, insofar as I want to teach her self-respect and the best coping skills possible, but I certainly won’t be viewing it as a terrible tragedy if such turns out to be the case; actually, it would be sort of pleasing to share neurological wiring with at least ONE of my kids!).
It took a while, but the scandal revolving around PP selling fetal tissue pretty much recovered the missing pieces of my self-respect.
Since that day, I have had NO ILLUSIONS about the totality or the ruthlessness of the eugenic agenda afoot in America today.
Offer THAT story to the people who say it’s nothing but a paranoid conspiracy theory!!