1. I’m on your team.
Sometimes, they may not think that. Like when I tell them “no snacks if you don’t eat your lunch.” Or, “I’m sorry, but you need to work on your friendship with your sister before you go hang out with your friend.” Or, “I love you. Which is why I know a Google Plus account isn’t going to benefit you just now.”
So I remind them, a lot, that I’ve lived longer and experienced more and I actually do know a few things and I am parenting through a lens of experience with love as my motive. I am for them.
2. It doesn’t matter what so-and-so are doing/watching/reading.
This seems to be a popular tactic to apply when a certain thing is off limits. They point to a different family and that is supposed to give us permission to say yes. BUT…their children are different than my children. What might be fine for one, because of maturity, wisdom-or a lack thereof, isn’t necessarily fine for another. Call it parenting intuition or simply my prerogative, I want them to know that I am not following a ritual or formula, or copying what someone else is doing hoping it all turns out right. I am, in fear and trepidation, begging God for wisdom, often failing, often repenting and asking forgiveness, but trying with all my might to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord, not the notion of the general populace.
3. God is good and they get to choose gratitude.
I think there is nothing sadder or more debilitating in life than a person who chooses to nurse wounds, rehearse offenses and live with growing bitterness at all the things wrong in their lives. We all choose. We choose to be grateful or we choose to complain. We can hone in on what is wrong, or magnify what is right. We can give thanks or breathe curse. What we choose will largely determine who we become and whether we thrive as people. I want to foster a sense of gratitude in my children and I know it must start with me. Ouch. And moving on….
4. Life is about balance.
Kind of like the Scripture…”To everything there is a season…” There is a time for work, and that should be done willingly. There is a time for play, but it shouldn’t dominate our lives. There is a time to be quiet and we should make the time. There is a time to mourn and a time to dance. We should learn to be flexible and not become such creatures of habit that we cannot adapt to what the situation requires.
5. They have a purpose.
Does that sound like a cliche? Surprisingly, I think the majority of humans don’t know they have a purpose or at least don’t know what it is. Broadly, as Christians, our purpose is to glorify the Creator. Specifically, that is lived out differently, according to our gifts. I want my children to know that their lives should be painted with the brush of glorifying God. The fleshing out of that may look boring or even fruitless to men, but as they pursue Him and seek to live for Him, their lives are ignited by meaning, and whether they are doing something the world deems fantastic or not, it will be glorious to the only One to whom it matters, to whom they will give an account.
*I would love to hear your “things kids need to know.”
9 comments
“Sometimes we just need to do what we don’t feel like doing, because it’s the right thing to do.”
“Be where you are”
“You won’t always make the right decision, but you must always make your decision right.”
“Your Dad and I make mistakes. We are not perfect. We might not be there for you always, but Jesus is. You can count on Him every time, all the time. He is perfect, all knowing; He loves you more than we do because He created you.”
I love these. I make just print out a big list and start a “saying of the day.”
I love these! It would be wonderful if you would post a few ‘what that looks like at our house’.
No pressure!! The way you write just makes things more applicable for me. Thank you and Merry Christmas and a very Blessed New Year!
Love,
Carey
Kids need to know the “why” behind what we are doing. Why table etiquette every day? Because manners keep the table from chaos and allow conversation. Why does a “strict” family have no curfew? Because there is a season in life for young adults (children) to make adult choices with parental supervision.
There are a million reasons behind why we homeschool, why I do not have a traditional job, why we mow the lawn and paint the house, and share with the neighbors, and keep a budget and supervise friends time, say no to screen time and yes to a dog etc. etc.
I think the title could easily be changed to, “5 things Moms need to remember every day”! As much as I believe I need make sure my kids know all of these things mentioned, I know that I need to keep them in my heart and believe them so I can live them. Thanks! 🙂
Elizabeth,
Now that’s a good title.