A reader posted this terribly interesting entry on her blog a few days ago…
She attends a university, and the following hand-out was given to the class for obvious “enlightenment” about the “atrocities” society once believed (and taught) about women’s roles.
The handout, taken from a 1950’s home-economic high school text book read:
*Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
*Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair to be fresh looking.
*Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up the school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too.
*Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
*Minimize all noise. At the time o his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
*Some don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as a minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in low soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
*Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him. The moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
*Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.
*The goal: try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Editor’s Note: Yeah right!
Now, my first question is, do any of you Christian women, even the ones who believe in embracing the role of homemaker, bristle at all at this? If so, you can be sure you have been influenced by the feminist mindset.
Think of the above admonition to women as it relates to Scripture…
“Greater love hath no man than this…than he lay down his life for his friend.”
“He who would lose his life shall save it; but he who saves his life shall lose it.”
“If I then, your Lord and Teacher have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one anothers’ feet.”
“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.”
“He who is last shall be first.”
Isn’t it interesting, that at the heart of being a godly wife and homemaker, is the simple command from Scripture to serve others? And this biblical teaching was being mocked in this university classroom where most of the young women there were “learning” about their roles and their place in life.
Diametrically opposed to our Lord’s commands are the feminists’ cries; and there is a whole generation of young women looking to these “intelligent” professors for answers to life.
So how about their new ideas? How are marriages faring in the last few decades? What about fulfillment and harmony in the home? Are wives happier now? More free? So much intellect, so little common sense.
I beg you, get things settled in your own hearts regarding the privilege of serving our husbands and families. Then set your face like flint (with a smile ;-)to face the tidal wave of lies that would love to see your family drown. And then, with all your heart, serve them…and teach your children, and beg them to teach their children. Pray that God would bring searching young women into your lives and teach them too.
It is our privilege and it is our duty to do so.
To read the entire article of the reader’s experience, go HERE.
25 comments
I remember this handout from somewhere in school too!! I can’t remember if it was from high school or college (maybe a college rhetoric course I had that was taught by an openly hostile feminist who was also a lesbian). I never was impressed with her, despite her intellegence and strong views; she was just so ANGRY at the world and men! Back then when I read the handout, I kind of laughed, thinking it was full of unrealistic expectations for a wife, but these days I read it and can actually see wisdom in it (although I would probably not worry so much about the ribbon in my hair and changing the kids’ clothes- my husband actually might find it funny that Nathan drew on himself with marker, ha ha).
My husband actually hangs around the kitchen when he comes home because I make a point to not barrage him with complaints, my day’s story, or an overly loud and busy household. On the contrary, lately I’ve noticed that he asks me more often than not how my day was, and helps out with the kids while I finish dinner, as well as tells me about his day which I’m coming to enjoy more and more- I’m thankful he shares it with me! It seems serving your spouse has been lost in the “Me-ology” taught to women of our culture. Sad that selfishness is put so high on a pedestal with the lying face of “rights” and “freedom.”
– Sally
How sad that such a beautiful wise piece of advice would be laughed at today. I agree with every point of it and I think I could have written it myself. I try to practice almost all those things. How oppressed I am! 😉
A few years ago I read something very similar and was horrified at the thought of doing those things – poor repressed women. But then a miracle happened and I was saved and since then I try to carry out pretty much all of those things daily!
Thank you SO much Word Warrior for posting this link to my blog! I really can’t believe my little post made it so far! I too am appalled by the fact that the people in my class scoffed at this. *shakes head*. The sad part is, my teacher (who is also my academic advisor) is a WONDERFUL woman who really loves her family and children and tries to be with them as much as possible but who declares herself a feminist. I just wish she could see that most of the issues that feminists take credit for thinking of first are really issues of human dignity and not the whole feminism thing. And then other (the more poster child issues of feminism) are just nasty expressions of anti-biblical thinking. I wish you all would pray for the feminists of the world that they would come to see reason.
Acutally I don’t see the problem with this. What wrong with serving your husbands? If you ask me if more women followed this there would not be so many divorces… But don’t mention that to the feminist! LOL!
xoxoxoxo,
Adlyn
Before I even got down to your comments on it I thought ” This is pretty close to how it should be”. My husband works 2 jobs right now (total of 70-75 hours a week) to provide for us and I think that I should be willing to serve him. We also try to keep evening commitments to a minimum so we can be here when he comes home between jobs. The kids mob him when he comes home and he loves that, because it reminds him of what he is working for and how much he is loved. Thank you for this insightful message.
Adlyn,
I may not have been as clear as I should have been about my obvious disagreement with the negative light in which the handout was given.
No, there is not anything wrong with the handout, which was the point I was trying to make.
oh, sorry let me explain “Acutally I don’t see the problem with this. What wrong with serving your husbands?” I meant that for the feminist not you word warrior :)! (I not think that there is anything wrong with handing this flyer out nor did I think you did word warrior) sorry for the miscommunication.
xoxoxoxo,
Adlyn
Hello- I found your link via Large Family Mothering. I am enjoying what I am reading so far and will take the time to look through more of what you have here! I am a homeschooling momma to eight. I have recently started a blogroll for those who are quiverfull and a carnival of testimonies, which I posted the other day. I know many do not like that term but I guess I am one who does not mind the title, it gives me the opportunity to explain God’s work in our life. Anyway, I wanted to say hello and hopefully you will come by and visit and maybe participate over at my blog. I think you would offer alot to my readers with your comments.
Blessings,
Kristine
“Women are to do WHAT?!”
Doing What She Was Born To Do:
http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/daily/site_011608/content/01125114.guest.html
Rush Limbaugh talks to an OB mother who left the workforce to raise ten children.
I think I read that handout in high school. Back then I thought I thought my gosh I’m NEVER going to do that! Now I’m pretty close to that and I do agree with it for the most part. My only thing is that it may be a bit of an unreachable ideal. No reason not to strive for it though.
My hubby works over 60 hours per week at his job and I do try to keep the evenings calm and comfy. So that all of us can enjoy a peaceful night together.
You know, my old pastor’s wife (the story will give a clue as to why they are no longer my pastoral family) read that exact print-out that she had been given when she was in high school, at a ladies gathering just over a year ago.
She read it with a laughter that can only be described as condescending.
Then the words came out of her mouth, “Can you believe doormatting yourself like this for your husband?”
Some of the other ladies laughed, and some really thought it was funny, but a few laughed nervously, knowing it was actually closer to how the Lord wants us to live.
I didn’t laugh.
After her laughter slowed, I said, “You know the part about taking off his shoes?”
She stopped and looked at me and laughingly said, “Yeah?”
“Doesn’t that make anyone else think of Christ’s sacrificial love of washing his disciples feet?”
Her face reddened, but she continued to laugh.
I shared that story because I was shocked and appauled that a simple message such as: live and love for others is continually met with disdain even by Christians now – secularized Christians.
Thank you for sharing this. I have been trying to get my hands on it, but haven’t been able to find it. Many blessings to you!
Scary really, that everyone here seems to actually LIKE what that article said. I find it atrocious. I am married, both my husband and I are students. We are also both Christians. I hope to teach German someday in a high school.
We both also work to support ourselves and our education. We both do an equal share of housework…on days when I work long hours he is at home waiting for me with dinner. I do the same for him. We have no children, however someday we hope to have some. Yes, I believe in birth control…it allows us to get an education and get careers so we can give our children what they deserve, and someday send them to college or help them in their lives.
We get along great, we are very open with each other, we help each other out, we are also very open with each other sexually, very open minded. We never dated before each other so we have no “baggage” as some people would call it.
I see nothing wrong with this picture. I see nothing wrong with choosing to serve your husband IF ITS WHAT YOU TRULY ENJOY!!! However it’s not for me.
And if you want to use those scriptures against my views, go ahead. However I actually do agree with them! But I believe it can go either way. If a husband wants to stay at home while his wife works and serve her, then so be it! If they want to equally share chores and serve each other, that’s even better!!!
Give other views a chance. I have nothing against yours, so give mine a second thought too.
Great! Thanks. I emailed this link out to some friends. It’s so easy to get brainwashed if we aren’t being intentional about what we listen to, watch, accept.
And a note to anonymous: what was offending about this? If you and your husband do equal shares, then isn’t reasonable to do unto him as you would have him do unto you? Would you like him to straighten up before you get home from school? Then do it for him.
God does not ask us to be “doormats.” God calls us to serve. Husbands are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church. And wives are supposed to submit to their husbands.
God is love. Just love, expecting nothing in return. No need to “use Scripture against you.” We are sisters in Christ.
Hi. I’ve been lurking for a few weeks. I can’t recall how I found you but I really love your blog. I remember seeing this somewhere once I don’t know where. I just remember that the context was in jest and ridicule. However, I agree with this handout. It saddens me that wives don’t feel that they should serve their husbands. That is what God called us as wives to do – be their help meet.
Blessings.
To Wendy…
What was offensive to me was the fact that it implied that ONLY the woman should do unto the man. I agree, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I do straighten up before my husband comes home. He does the same for me. We work and study and have crazy schedules so it’s always one or the other.
I was simply pointing out that it could also be the husband’s job to do as the article was saying. It does not necessarily have to be only the woman. It can be either or, or both.
I have nothing against either view, I was merely pointing out that there are different ways to go about serving one another. As a women I believe I am to serve my husband, but as a so called “feminist” as you may call me, and although he is a man my husband could be considered quite feminist himself, as he believes he should serve me as well.
To each their own.
And on a further note…as wives we are supposed to submit to our husbands? It depends on how you take that. I have my own opinions and I voice them. I discussed this with my husband last night and he said he would never want me to submit to him in the way I have seen mentioned, such as not asking him why he does things or not telling him I don’t agree with him. He prefers that I voice all my opinions and disagreements so that we can work it out as a team. If he spends money on something stupid I tell him. And vice versa. And it works for us. We are a team, and we are both able to let each other know when the other is doing something wrong that we may not have noticed ourselves.
Is something wrong with that? Because if submitting myself to my husband means I cannot tell him when I disagree with how he’s done something, or let him know how I feel, then that is something I wont do. I am just as much a part of our marriage as he is, (and actually I control most of our finances and money…it’s just part of my share…his idea of paying a bill on time means ten days after it was due…ha ha)
Now, if submitting means forgiving when he’s done something or made a mistake,loving him and being there for him when he needs me and knowing he’d do the same for me, then I’m all for it.
Thanks for hearing me out. Remember…feminists can be good people too. I’m a feminist in my own way, but please don’t stereotype me against what you believe that means.
Anon,
The problem I have with your egalitarian approach, is that it doesn’t line up with Scripture, and as a Christian, I have to hold to God’s Word for my basis of reasoning.
To serve each other in a marriage is ABSOLUTELY correct–we’re eye to eye so far.
BUT, I believe that God created the world and us humans. He also laid out a design, based on His intimate knowledge of His creation, that gave us each distinctly different roles. The reason? Because it simply works better.
My husband serves me MAINLY through providing for and protecting our home. Of course he does the dishes when he knows I need some help, of course he helps me get the kids bathed and dressed, etc. (He helps me a lot.) But this isn’t his area of responsibility, so to speak. This is where he serves me out of his love for me, but it is not his calling, per the Almighty.
And while I also help my husband with his “provider” role, by earning extra income from home and by being a careful steward of our finances, this isn’t my responsibility.
So while we both help each other, we still both have separate roles that we are responsible for. The whole sharing thing sounds great, but not only does it cause many different problems, it is not, in my opinion, God’s revealed will.
(I always offer a disclaiimer–some couples will have to work toward this arrangement, but it is important to have the basic understanding that this is the ideal for a Christian family.)
It doesn’t mean a woman can’t be educated, or accomplished…read my previous posts for my opinions on that.
It means that a woman is FREE to exercise her gifts and abilities far beyond the woman who is enslaved to a company outside her home.
I’ve compared marriage to a seatbelt, if you’ll excuse the over simplicity. But a seatbelt cannot protect the passenger if each of the distinct parts wants to emulate each other. They are both equally important, equally necessary, and distinctly different.
It’s common sense confirmed by God’s Word.
I’m happy for you, that you have found your calling and are happy.
However I strongly feel that God has called me into the field of teaching. And if he has called me to do that who can argue? It is what I have felt called to do since I was a child. So that is what I’m doing. I feel called to teach foreign languages. I have seen with my own eyes how little our schoolchildren know about anything beyond their own country, while I have come to love learning about other cultures and languages. I speak four languages and my husband comes from a very multi-cultural family and came here when he was 12.
What I want to say is God has called me to a career. Yes I believe it is his will for me to teach high school, a field many are now unwilling to teach because it is seen as such a hostile environment, where kids are brushed aside as not being able to learn, as not caring about school so we just give up and don’t push them to learn anymore. But I feel called to reach out to these kids and instead of just letting them get by without learning anything, I want them to realize they can achieve high goals and learn.
So do I believe that God can call a woman, a wife, to hold a career? Yes I do.
My mother is a teacher, and I do not feel I would have benefited anymore from her having stayed home all the time. I learned a lot from her, and she has been part of my inspiration to teach myself. She was always there for me when I needed her, she left school when we were very young but went back to teaching when we started school, I will probably take a similar path.
My husband and I want a family in which we can both spend time with our children, my husband was raised in a very loving, close family where his father was just as close to him as his mother. He wants the same for ours…he wants to be more than just a provider for the family, if we can both work, but work less hours each and both have more time together as a family, then I believe that is wonderful.
So while my husband’s and my goals may not be the same as your desires for your own family, I do not believe that they are less than God’s will for me. God calls each of his servants do do his will, however different that may be from one another’s.
Thanks for hearing me out.
I would certainly never argue over whether a person is called to something, unless of course, it is written in God’s Word to the contrary. I will digress from arguing on that point at this time. But keep in mind, if at any point Scripture says something, such as “women are not to teach in the church”…then I can never be “called” to be a pastor, no matter what terminology I use.
Having said that, one note on this subject. I can tell you are very passionate about foreign language and the desire to teach. You may not know that I taught high school English as well, before I came home.
First of all, I can assure you, the Lord could use your multi-lingual gifts in amazing ways, even from home.
I can also tell you from experience, that your time, your emotional energy, your physical energy, and your heart will always be divided between your career and your family. It’s just a fact. Don’t count on being 100% at anything, because it just isn’t possible.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss once said, “I’m not going to say that working outside the home is sin; but I do know from God’s Word that a woman is abolutely and specifically called to her home first. And within that realm she is called to be a Proverbs 31 woman. Besides caring for her home in numerous ways, she is called to ‘extend her hand to the poor’, help her husband, work hard providing for the needs of her family, be a good steward of the family’s finances, and anything else that would require attention in the realm of home. And frankly, ladies, I just don’t see how there’s time left for anything else!”
We’ve lost such sight of what a home is, that we think it’s little more than puttng a few meals on the table and keeping the checkbook balanced.
My desire on this blog is NOT to shame women for feeling aspirations, and having dreams. It is to enlighten them, and excite them about what can happen when they God at His Word, and commit to being a keeper at home.
The world has told you that being a keeper at home is boring, and limiting…but how wrong they are! For me, I have added to my love of teaching a wealth of other opportunities that being home affords me.
Truly the Lord has given me the desires of my heart…
I wouldn’t dream of trying to discourage yours or anyone else’s “ambitions”. On the contrary, I have seen what God can do with intelligent, talented young women who embrace their calling as godly wives, mothers and keepers at home.
They are changing the world God’s way, because they’ve taken up the weapon God meant for us all along.
This will be my last comment, as I have to study. I just now realized that you must think I find being a stay-at-home mom boring, or that I agree with society that it is somehow less of a career than one outside of the home. Let me state that I do not think that. You say that being a mom is more than just having dinner on the table. If you are implying that I believe that you are quite wrong. Again, teaching is a great career because you can take time off when you have children so they don’t have to go to daycare, (As my mother did) and when they go to school your “away from home hours” are similar to theirs. Yes there is more work at home, but as a child I loved helping my mom grade papers and it gave us a chance to bond together. It also gives summers off. Besides that it would take pressure off of my husband to work more hours, therefore he could work much less than he would have to if I were not working, therefore giving our future children more of his time, family time. Time with both parents instead of just their mother.
So please, don’t judge. I think being a stay at home mother is a wonderful job, with just as much respect as any other, if not more. And again, my career will actually permit more time for my entire family, not just me, to be at home together.
And yes, I realize there are many things I could use my love of languages for, however I feel called to this particular use. Perhaps you have never been asked by a high schooler if they had cars in Germany, running water in Brazil (my husband is from Brazil…he was often asked this), and couldn’t locate either country on a map, much less speak their language or understand their culture. This is where I feel I am called to help. I want to show my students that other countries and cultures are much more interesting than they think. There are not too many people who actually want to teach high school foreign languages, especially German, and this is one more reason I believe I should go for it.
Thanks for the lovely discussion, I admire your thoughts, and hope someday you will be able to understand my calling and why I don’t feel I will be a “bad mother” because of it. I love children, I spent most of my teenage years working in the church nursery and babysitting…I would never “neglect” my children, nor do I believe teaching will hinder my time with them. (again, I do not plan on teaching while my children are not of school age, unless my husband chooses to be the one to stay at home until they are old enough to go to school) Which I believe there is nothing wrong with him doing that…he has expressed his desire to be a father in everyway someday, to be at home as much as possible.
Have a great day!!! Now…back to the German books and leftover Schnitzel from last night. (Yes, I love to cook…and so does my husband. Although I’m not sure if we’ll ever decide if his South American style chicken or my typical German style is better…hey…at least we both love to cook)
Hey Anonymous! I’d say from reading your comments that you and I must be close to soul sisters!! Wow! I actually DO teach foreign languages to high schoolers and I identify completely with your comments about cars in Germany =) I’ve personally addressed those comments in a Spanish class! Anyway, my husband is also from South America. I am of German heritage and, when I have time I am pursuing German independently. I teach French, Spanish and English (as a foreign language). I do in fact have 4 children ages 16 to 2 years. I hope you’ll check these comments just one more time. BTW, I do agree with the role of a woman in taking care of her home and family. My husband, unlike yours, has a much more traditional view of the roles of men and women also… he is not saved. Hmmm. Could we be in touch? Normally I wouldn’t be so bold, but honestly! we have so much in common and I’d like to hear from you. If you’re interested you can contact me at akasi99@gmail.com I live in Arkansas and work at Decatur High school.
To the owner of this blog: I appreciate your post and your commentary. I don’t see that anyone here is necessarily being judgmental. I appreciate the open forum feel. Thanks for getting us to thinking.
Anonymous: I look forward to being in touch with you!
*lol* Ok, so I DO have a problem with this hand-out….
or am I the only one who questions it being a 1950-hand out, when it is saying:
“eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum”
I mean…. which person in the 1950’s had a dishwasher?????? 😉
“Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding in things in life that don’t really matter.”
Pastor Francis Chan