Home marriage Wife & Mother: Power to Grow or Destroy

Wife & Mother: Power to Grow or Destroy

by Kelly Crawford

“Lord, I want to be a wife who causes her husband to flourish, and a mother who causes her children to grow.”

This was my earnest prayer after weeks of battling some emotional issues that have strained our family. If you are a wife and mother, I have good news and bad news: but it is the same news. You profoundly affect the atmosphere of your home. There is no way around it.

My emotional, spiritual and physical response to daily life can snowball to the rest of my family and bring peace and life or bring stress and destruction.

So when I prayed that prayer, I cried it from the depths of my soul. I have been brought to a place that is the end of myself. “Nothing in my hands I bring, simply to thy cross I cling” has become the song of my soul.

But the very good news is that the God of all our needs IS sufficient. But He’s waiting for us to realize there is no power in ourselves. He’s waiting for us to “draw near to Him” so He can draw near to us.

There is a tidal wave of peace when we finally throw up our hands and take hold of His and realize our helplessness without the indwelling of Christ.

The prayer I prayed evoked a gentle reminder from my Father…I heard it…“His wife shall be like a fruitful vine about thy house”…

I had always thought this verse referred to fruitful as in “child-bearing”, and it may have those connotations. But today I saw something else:  a fruitful vine is something out of which fruit grows and flourishes and abounds. The power of my position as a wife and mother is LIFE-GIVING nourishment to my family! Or, it can mean death if the Life-Giver is not pouring through me.

That’s heavy! But we all know it’s true.

I am to be the vine–the lifeblood of the fruit that God wants to produce in our home. Does my husband flourish or wilt from my influence? Do my children grow and mature or do they shrivel under a harsh spirit?

Oh, ladies, our role is so crucial and what’s more, our dependence on the God who placed us here is even more so.

Run to Him each morning, each moment, and beg for His mercy and wisdom and spirit. Meet with Him when you wake up and commit your words, your thoughts–your whole day to Him.

“FAITHFUL is He who called you who also will do it.”

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Pam July 5, 2011 - 8:38 am

Amen and amen. Thanks.

Linda July 5, 2011 - 8:56 am

Thank you for this. I am also going through this journey. We had a difficult winter. I am beginning to truly learn that our situation needs to be left in His hands because there is nothing more that I (we) can do. It is so wonderful to again feel His peace in my life. If I can now just stay in this place and give things to Him sooner next time.

Your blog is a blessing to me!

In Him,

Lucinda July 5, 2011 - 8:56 am

Bless you for this very candid, thought provoking post! It just confirmed what I have been learning! God bless you in your journey.

Ruth July 5, 2011 - 8:58 am

Amen. Timely post.

Sarah July 5, 2011 - 9:16 am

Thank you Kelly. I really needed this today- especially the part about my husband wilting under my influence. That really got me this morning. Thank you so much for pouring out your life here so others like me can benefit.

Kim M July 5, 2011 - 9:42 am

Thank you for this admonition!

Karyn July 5, 2011 - 2:12 pm

Yes, you are so right – I see it every day in my family. I think to myself “what’s up with everybody today?” and then I realise… they caught it from me! Help me, Lord! Pour out your love through me.

Karyn July 5, 2011 - 2:14 pm

You’re such a blessing Kelly! Praying for you.

Jennifer V. July 5, 2011 - 2:39 pm

Oh did I need to hear this today. I’ve been struggling with a lot of emotional things lately and I’ve realized that my family is going wild. Everyone is grumpy, fighting, and yelling. Oh Lord, help me! I need to get through this and get my family back on track!

Missy B July 5, 2011 - 3:47 pm

thank you so much for posting this piece of timely and godly encouragement!! I am new to your blog and am so enjoying your words of wisdom, admonition, and encouragement along with tidbits from your daily life. thanks for taking time to share; am very glad to have “stumbled” upon your site.. 🙂 (may our Lord of righteous strength continue to uphold you and your family as you rebuild your house–that can be quite an endeavor)

Kelly L July 5, 2011 - 6:44 pm

Really good word! As we have a new person in our house who is learning to grow, I have to remember this. Grace, grace,grace is needed by me so my attitude doesn’t spill over to my family.

Thanks. God just used this to show me that my husband’s crankiness about his cousin being here after I tell him the day is not him feeling badly about what I have to do regarding his cousin. It is my jacked up heart.

It IS always the mother’s fault, isn’t it? lol 😉

SOOOO needed this. Thanks.

Cindy July 5, 2011 - 7:21 pm

Thank you Kelly, I sooo needed this encouragement today. We have been praying for you up here in Canada. So thankful to see the walls going up.

Jennifer July 5, 2011 - 8:08 pm

I’m so depressed about the Casey Anthony thing. It’s clear what that mother’s choice was.

Great post.

Jane July 6, 2011 - 12:00 am

So glad I came across your blog. I needed to hear this today. Blessings.

Milah July 6, 2011 - 7:56 am


Jamie July 6, 2011 - 8:15 am

I love this Kelly!

Tanya July 6, 2011 - 8:42 am

Thankful to have read this today.

Jenny M. July 6, 2011 - 8:45 am

Thank you for such a wonderful post! It has spoken deeply to me today!

Dianne July 6, 2011 - 10:50 am

All I can say is, “wow.” You remind us all of something we already know deep down inside, but at times we either choose to ignore, or forget. Thanks for the reminder.

Amanda July 6, 2011 - 1:10 pm

Thank you so much..You would not believe how much I needed this today.God Bless you and your Family.

Joy H July 6, 2011 - 1:19 pm

Ugh. Needed this today in the worst way. Thank you.

Ginger July 6, 2011 - 3:46 pm

Such an edifying post! Encouraging and rebuking at the same time. ha!

Joyce July 6, 2011 - 6:53 pm

Thanks, again for all your posted thoughts, little darling. Such great words of wisdom as we see your growth in grace. Love you.

Thankful for His Grace July 6, 2011 - 11:05 pm

This is exactly what I have been focusing on these past two months. I’ve come to the realization that it is okay to show the JOY OF THE LORD on the outside (been around too many negative people lately) so I decided to do an experiment that doesn’t cost anything…I started purposely *smiling* at my husband and children. When they ask why I’m smiling, I respond with things like “I’m experiencing the joy of the LORD” “I am so thankful that Jesus saved me” “I’m thinking about how blessed I am to have you as my husband” “I’m so proud of the little lady/big boy you are becoming.” Within two days, the atmosphere in our home completely changed (my husband rarely left my presence when he was home! Amazing!!!) Then I did a silly thing, I decided to check my theory by purposely not smiling for one day – oh, the attitudes and tempers that flared and it has taken a whole week to get back to the atmosphere of joy, peace and fun in the home. Just tonight, my husband said that he can’t wait to get home tomorrow evening. Praise the Lord! I’ve challenged a handful of ladies to start purposely smiling at their husbands and children…Would you like to accept that challenge? You will be amazed! Rejoicing in the goodness of the LORD:-)

Word Warrior July 7, 2011 - 9:18 am


What a powerful (and so simple!) admonition! Yes, I’m accepting the challenge 😉

Thankful for His Grace July 14, 2011 - 11:55 pm

Just checking in to see how the *smile* challenge is going? I’ve heard amazing things from the other ladies and was wondering how it is going for you. Will keep praying for your family and the Lee’s.

Arabella July 7, 2011 - 10:58 am

Hi Kelly 🙂 interesting read! Will you write the sequel: Husband and father? Take care! From one of your many readers.

Word Warrior July 7, 2011 - 4:20 pm


If you ARE indeed a reader here, then you’ll know the answer to your question is “no” for two reasons: 1. My audience is mostly women. It would be a complete waste of time to talk to men who aren’t even here. 2. I don’t “instruct” men, even if they were here. There are other blogs, pastors and resources for that.

Shandee July 7, 2011 - 2:08 pm

I can’t believe what I am reading! I JUST posted on this very thing a little while ago. The Lord had etched the exact thing on my hear today!!! Isn’t that amazing!

Blessings to your family as God rebuilds your home and nourishes your family.

Nicole July 7, 2011 - 8:05 pm

Awesome post. I have spent an afternoon a week as a volunteer nurse at a pregnancy resource center. However they have just changed their mission and their goal is no longer to “intentionally share Christ with every client”. While their actions now may or may not be noble, if their goal isn’t to share the gospel, then my husband and I decided that it didn’t match up with our family goals and so I won’t be there anymore. If my husband hadn’t led us in a clear goal, then I would have been tempted to keep serving in this Christian ministry. It is so helpful to have a specified family purpose statement. We need to refine ours to make sure all of our time is well spent. Thanks for the reminder!

Darcy July 8, 2011 - 5:33 am

Thank you so much for this post! It is something I definitely needed to be reminded of.

Erica July 10, 2011 - 8:34 pm

This a wonderful post Kelly. You are such a blessing!!

Xochitl August 1, 2011 - 5:03 pm

I was blessed with this post today. I guess I missed it when it was first out but for whatever reason I believe the Lord needed me to read it today. I had to stop in the middle of my (12:20 pm I never do) and really spend time Him for strength. I desire to be “the vine–the lifeblood of the fruit that God wants to produce in our home” but unfortunately I have not done so. Thank you for this post and once again the Lord has showed me today that I can not do without Him.


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