You know by now how strongly I feel about the importance of wives and mothers being at home. There are myriads of reasons why I believe it is important, and there are just as many factors behind why so many women simply don’t want to be at home.
This week I’ve been thinking a lot about one of those reasons.
Over the years, the “picture” of what a keeper at home is, or should be, has faded into one of drudgery, where a dull-minded, incapable woman fulfills her endless, boring duties of cleaning toilets, washing dishes, and vacuuming, reaping no rewards or satisfaction. She has a few children, which makes her job even harder, and the best she can hope for is the day they start school. This picture is being constantly promoted, and it has had devastating effects on our culture.
And if this is the true picture of being a keeper at home, who in their right mind would want to be one?! Not me!
But this is not an accurate picture. And due to the lack of older women teaching us otherwise, we need to rise to the challenge of painting another picture–a true picture of the fulfillment that is ours when we understand our role.
Over the next few days, I hope to offer some glimpses of what I believe a keeper at home should be. I have taken it for granted so many times that Christian women already know this stuff, and then I’m thrown for loop when a woman says to me, “But what am I supposed to do all day? I’d be bored out of my mind!” So many women really don’t have a clue about the joy and richness of this staying at home business!
The first thing we must understand is that part of our job DOES involve simple hard work. What worthy job doesn’t? But understanding how that work looks in “the Kingdom Realm”, will greatly change the way we view it.
Washing dishes, cleaning toilets–all those not-so-glamorous things we must do, are filled with the blessed opportunity to SERVE–to daily exemplify our Savior with our hands and hearts. For what was His last act on earth, but the most humble of duties, washing the feet of His disciples, His “family on earth?”
Our understanding of what God has called us to, as Christians–“I beseech you, therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy , acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service”-will radically change the way we view our work.
If we can grasp the heart of our mission here one earth–serving and loving others–then we will be thrilled with the realization that God has put us in a place so rich and full of opportunities to carry out this mission!
It will also help us understand the seriousness of neglecting our service to our families. We begin to see that cooking meals, sweeping the floor, and the thousands of other tasks are not optional if we desire to serve the Lord. Because if He has called us to love, serve, tend to the needs of others, etc., then to bypass our family in order to go out and serve someone else, is a grave offense. There are many noble things in the world to do; but if we do those things to the neglect of the basic service of our family, the nobility is lost.
In the next few days, I’ll discuss some of the more “exciting” aspects of being a keeper at home. The lost art of homemaking, if you will. The feminist movement wants desperately to keep this side of it undercover. They tout nonsense like “women being slaves in their homes”, and “being robbed of freedom to pursue their own interests”…when nothing could be so opposite of reality!
Stayed tuned for the most joyous freedom and opportunity to exercise your own interests that ever a women had!
16 comments
“There are many noble things in the world to do; but if we do those things to the neglect of the basic service of our family, the nobility is lost.”
Kelly, I think you really hit the nail on the head with this statement. I got more than a few comments on my blog along the lines of, “but women can do so much good in the world! They are talented enough to pursue any noble profession!” – who said women are incapable of doing all that? Not me, for sure! But if we just stop for a moment and think what happens if those women are also blessed by God with a precious family, husband and children… to me, it’s very clear that if God gives you a family, you must first of all take care of that family and make sure they get the best of what you have to offer, not the leftovers of yuor time and energy.
Anyway, I’m very much looking forward to the rest of your articles on the subject. It’s admirable how you find the time to do this, with your new little one!
Great topic! It goes along with what is going on over at my blog (shameless plug ;o) ). Today we are discussing the attitude of the mother and what she sees as important work.
“There are many noble things in the world to do; but if we do those things to the neglect of the basic service of our family, the nobility is lost.”
Kelley, that is a very poignant statement. Thanks for that! Honestly, you could write a whole blog series around that. Not only does it apply to women…but Christians in general.
Well said and I’m looking forward to the rest of this series.
great topic!
I have never ever been bored in my five years of being at home. I love it and wish I had more time to do everything I’d like to do around here.
Do you know what drives me nuts?? Inconsistent people.
Like “feminists” who will work for a living, but then at the drop of a hat will run home and be with the kids if they have the sniffles, or they’re constantly taking the full six weeks off after they have a baby. Then they expect equal pay for “equal work” and a good shot at a promotion because that’s the fair thing for the employer to do, right??
To my mind, either have a JOB or don’t. You’re either fully at the job (including your BRAIN) or you’re fully at home. This “you can do it all” means you do a job halfway in both areas.
I’d say that that reminds me of the saying Jesus has about serving two masters but I’d probably get reamed that that analogy would be all exigesically wack or something ya know.
Mrs. C
I’ve really enjoyed all your comments…I’m looking forward to the rest of the posts too!
I can’t remember how I found your blog, but I’ve been really enjoying your posts. They have really challenged me to examine my ingrained views about motherhood, and have exposed the feminist-influenced mindset I’ve held without knowing how deep it really went. I am so excited to learn more about the amazing calling God has for me as a mom! I could never understand how women hold down a job and care for children, but I always chalked it up to my incapabilities. I’m seeing more that maybe it’s built into my being as a woman to want to focus that energy on my family and not split it between outside work (I was a high school teacher) and homemaking/childrearing. I’ve been an at-home mom for two years and we just had our second baby; I am still struggling with fully embracing my role at home and how to accomplish all I want to do here. Anyway, all that to say I look forward to more thoughts on this subject!
Kelly, I think by now you can see your posts generally bring me to tears. You are an incredible blessing to me, truly. I thank the Lord I have found you and others with our heart/mind set on this very important issue.
I know I may have never found another woman that views Scripture in this light, had it not been for the internet.
Thank you for taking time out of your busy day with not only so many blessings, but a new one as well, to encourage us and strengthen us in His Word.
Wondeful post! Beautifully written! Thank you!
I find ideas like this interesting… I was recently married and most of my liberal friends are busy cracking jokes about how I’ve been “domesticated” When I search for advise on married life, these are the only sites I find. I’m not sure what to make of that… at any rate, I’m tempted to say the following:
I think you are leaving out the fact that some women just WANT to work. If a woman is at home but hating it, then that spreads to the family. I could never stay home, no matter how many kids or loads of laundry. My husband is expected to chip in as far as housework goes, and my step-daughter can take care of herself when she’s here, and I’d probably go insane doing it myself.
But I will say this:
I enjoy my job, and I can’t see leaving it. For me, growing up in daycare, being a ‘latchkey kid’ etc. were good learning experiences, and I found myself to mature much more quickly than others. I tried to stay home for the summer and be a housewife, but I felt my brain melting. I don’t know how you ladies do it.
Everyone agrees with you. I agree kids do not raise themselves. But Shanie is making a good point. She states that she had some good learning experiences being a latch key kid. It is not always a disaster if your mom isn’t home for an hour or two. My mother was difficut so I needed that time of peace before she got home.
I hate to see a woman who has the ability to invent, create or start their own business be sentenced to the kitchen and husband slavery. God gave us a brain with limitless potential and I do not believe a great God would tell us to only use part of our talent.
Enjoy your family if that is your thing but don’t judge the people who do not have a house full of needy children and a tired husband.
I am glad that I have found this article. Yes, there can be good things come from bad circumstances. But that does not justify the bad circumstances. I am a full time, stay at home mother. Am I bored….let us see…I home school four children, I have a at home accounting practice, I help my husband in his business,…. Yes, I love to sew and cook. No I not perfect…but the Lord has shown me that my life is not about “me”. Eve was created to be a help meet…not Adam. When I worked outside of the home there was not alot left over for my family. My husband and children deserve the best of me, not leftovers.
Mickey
Life may be fine for you but it is not for everyone. The bible has many key characters that were not married with children. Many of you ladies feel that husbands and children are blessings. But for others it is the worst experience of their life. Some people like kids and some don’t. Christians often call these people selfish. However, these christians are in judgement of others and thats also wrong.
Georgia
The first woman in the Bible is Eve, the mother of all women. She was created to help Adam. Sarah the wife of Abraham, mother of the Israel. Deborah was a judge and prophetess and also the wife of Lapidoth. Mary the mother of our Savior and wife to Joseph. The examples that are upheld to us are as a rule married with children. The Bible states the children are an heritage of the Lord they are rewards! Yes, there are marriages out there that have been horrible experences for many woman; but did they use a godly measuring stick when picking out a husband. The Bible instructs the husband to cherish his wife, lay down his life for her, there are so many biblical descriptions of what a godly man should be. If the husband in those horrible marriages acted in a biblical manner then it would not have been a horrible marriage. As a woman raised to be a feminist I realize that this is not what we are indoctrinated with. But, as a Christian should I not follow my Savior teachings? His teachings are in the Bible, I just need to study and commit myself to him. The Bible gives instruction on so many aspects of our lives…unfortunately we do what we think is right not what the Bible teaches.