What kind of home do I really want?
A clean one?
A quiet one?
A beautiful one?
First I must define clean and quiet and beautiful.
Clean?
Well, we try. But at the moment, the windows are quite smeared. The floor needs mopped and dust abounds from the wood stove. But there are hearts that need attention as well…”cobwebs”, if you will, that need removed. A clean house may look different for a while…“…where no oxen are, the crib is clean; but much increase is by the strength of the ox.” Proverbs 14:4
Quiet?
We’re working on “inside voices” and are striving to learn self-control. But when 8 children laugh? Well, it’s loud. And frankly, it’s a loud I’m learning to cherish more and more. The voices, the questions, the noise–it can become annoying if I let it, or can be a tremendous source of joy if I stop long enough to drink it in, remembering how quickly the lisps will be gone, and the voices deepened. “Oh heart of mine, learn to love this noise!”
Beautiful?
My son accidentally dropped hot coals on our “newish” red shag rug while he was adding wood to the stove. It’s not beautiful anymore, though it was placed carefully in the living room with that intent. Things break, get stained, lose their luster. And we’re all better for the wear. Because many a museum is beautiful in the aesthetic sense; but there’s a different kind of beauty that boasts of a house fully lived in. That’s my house right now, and I’m learning to love it more.
18 comments
First of all, how did you get a picture of my perfect house? Heehee. Secondly, when my daughter breaks something or messes it up (or even DH) on accident, my first question is: “Is anyone dead? Then it is not as bad as it seems.” I’d rather have them alive than whatever was just messed up. I know it seems ludicrously severe, but it puts it in perspective for me and them.
This is a struggle for me! In fact, this morning I went over at family time all that DOES NOT get done in our house! The holy Spirit quietly whispered to me about all the things that DO get done and to focus more on those things! As I speak, my boys are running around “capturing” each other LOUDLY but somehow lovingly, so I have made the choice to let them! The noise is hard for me, but it is fun to see them enjoying each other! I need to focus on that more! My girls room is a mess, but later, they will clean it TOGETHER, so for now, I will shut the door and walk right by! Thank you for letting me know, I am not the only one whose house is not perfect and that is not what has eternal value! It is their souls that matter, not the house!
You are such an encouragement to me! Thank you!
This is a struggle for me! In fact, this morning I went over at family time all that DOES NOT get done in our house! The holy Spirit quietly whispered to me about all the things that DO get done and to focus more on those things! As I speak, my boys are running around “capturing” each other LOUDLY but somehow lovingly, so I have made the choice to let them! The noise is hard for me, but it is fun to see them enjoying each other! I need to focus on that more! My girls room is a mess, but later, they will clean it TOGETHER, so for now, I will shut the door and walk right by! Thank you for letting me know, I am not the only one whose house is not perfect and that is not what has eternal value! It is their souls that matter, not the house!
You are such an encouragement to me! Thank you!
A house may be neat and tidy, always, but I would much rather live in a home that is not so perfectly neat because it is lived in by the ones I love.
Charity, can I have both? Heehee
Yes and Amen!
Thank you for this timely reminder!
Charity- I agree wholeheartedly!
My home is probably considered “overly organized” because unfortunately, I don’t have children living in it.
However, I must confess, I am rather anal about being organized and having “things in their place,” and I”m not too keen about things getting “messed-up” (my husband is alot better with this than I am).
I guess I’ve been more of a “neat freak” since we moved into our own place. At our last place, which was a rental, I hardly cleaned or tidied anything, and I promised my husband I wouldn’t do that again!
Regardless of my “over-organizational fanatic nature,” you make an excellent point regarding the important aspects of the home. Home should be more about families and less about the things in them (although it’s not bad to have “pretty things” in your home).
I guess this ties in with materialism a little bit too . . . as usual, you’ve given me something to think about. Why do you always do that? 🙂
I found this poem quite awhile back and it has really stuck with me. It really put things into perspective for me. I have to admit….I still really like it when the windows are smudgeless and the toys are all neatly away….but I still cherish the fact that my house isn’t always perfect because that means it is full of many children. I wouldn’t trade that for anything….especially a perfectly clean house 🙂
Excuse This House
Some houses try to hide the fact
That children shelter there.
Ours boasts of it quite openly,
The signs are every where.
For smears are on the windows,
Little smudges on the doors;
I should apologize I guess
For toys strewn on the floor.
But I sat down with the children
And we played and laughed and read,
And if the doorbell doesn’t shine,
Their eyes will shine instead.
For when at times I’m forced to
Choose the one job or the other,
I want to be a housewife…
But first I’ll be a mother.
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All good reminders. Thanks.
Wow…I sat down at the computer feeling very discouraged and I thought “Let me check Kelly’s blog. Maybe there will be something there to help.” See, I’ve been discouraged all day because my house is such a mess! It’s disorganized, it needs to be scrubbed, I can’t get the kids to put things away when they are done with them, etc. etc. All of these things are made worse by the fact that I am newly pregnant with #8 and the hormones are starting to rage already : )
And LOUD? Let’s not even go there! I just this very morning was trying to give a nice, patient little talk to my children about the need for quiet voices…lol. We made it until about 10 am before they seemed to have completely lost all ability to tone it down.
Seeing this post was exactly what I needed to put things in perspective. It is such an encouragement to know that other moms are in the same place as me. Thank you so much Kelly for this blog…it always speaks to my heart.
Jennifer,
I love knowing details like the way a post blesses someone…smiles.
Kelly,
Any tips for how to get my husband to feel this way? We have three children under 5 and he expects the entire house to be spotless and really freaks out if something gets spilled, stained, broken. I grew up in a house with 6 other children so I’m way more “relaxed” than he is 🙂
13 years of marraige and 5 children later, our family is preparing to move into the first house we have ever owned. I have given a lot of thought to what kind of home I want it to be. I have prayed a lot for wisdom and direction as we begin our live there, from the schedule we keep to the color of the paint on the walls. I want my home to be full of love and joy, for it to be obvious to all that it is a home where Christ is head. I want it to host fun memories: a place my children love to be, will bring their friends and someday return again and again as they grow into the lives God has prepared for them. I want it to be a place that is warm and inviting, where my husband can relax and want to be when he comes home from his ministry job, where there is always an open door (despite the toys on the floor) and others will love to come. A home used to honour God.
Rosalie, I love the poem. I am going to type it up and frame it in the entry!
Thank you, Kelly!
Kelly-
Thank you for this blog because it really spoke to my heart also. I get discouraged by my messy house and I also have three children five and under. I have one boy and he is really energetic and I get upset when he gets “loud” but I guess boys will be boys right?!? Thank you for this post!
Sarah L.
Willis (my 4 year old) was banging on the pew (to the tune of the music) at church a few Sundays ago. Since Michael and I sing in the choir we have trained the boys to sit without us and proudly without incident… (mostly) 😉
Anyway, as I witnessed him banging on the pew the “mother gear” kicked in and I was mortified! And then it happened, a still, small voice, said to me: “If this were his last day here, you would be so happy that he beat on that pew.” I nearly cried in front of the whole church at that thought. Was it a harsh, negative, thought. YES! But it got the point across. These children are God’s children and we may not have them for long, cherish the good, bad, and ugly. Give God the Glory for his mercies are great.
I worry about my house at times, wish it were cleaner and that the halls did not need wiping down from top to bottom regularly. How does all that grime get all the way up there anyway??
3 bouncy little boy gifts from God, that’s how, and I would miss that wall cleaning if I did not have it tomorrow…
Wow, Melissa. Really good message from God.
Melissa,
Reminds me of Jesus’ response to the “mortified” disciples…”Let the little children come and do not hinder them”…especially when they’re making a joyful noise 😉 So glad your heart caught that!