Home motherhood/family/parentingpregnancy/birth control The Purpose of Children (They are Not For Us–And They Are)

The Purpose of Children (They are Not For Us–And They Are)

by Kelly Crawford

Our lives are a result of our beliefs–our theology about everything. We make choices based on what we believe about things. Conscious of it or not, our theology comes out our fingertips. It’s a worldview, and contrary to popular opinion, or how much one dislikes that term, everyone does, in fact have a worldview. If you don’t think you have one, that’s part of your very worldview.

One tiny part of a worldview is how we view children. Our idea of their purpose drastically affects the way we live, the way we parent and the choices we make in life.

The modern church has a huge problem with its understanding about the purpose of children.

  • The first problem is that most people don’t even question their purpose. They have children because everyone has children. Because it’s the normal thing to do. Normal. We tend to do what’s normal, but normal is allowed to be defined and redefined by the majority.
  • Secondly, we assume children are for us. When most couples think about having children, the decisions are largely based on their personal preferences and how children will benefit (or not) them. How much will they cost me? How time-consuming will they be? How much will they change my lifestyle? How much sacrifice will they require? Those questions assume my happiness, my comfort and my efforts as the primary determining factor for if, when and how many children I have.
  • Thirdly, we don’t want to admit that children are for us, just in a different way than the aforementioned description. Children change us. They make us more responsible, they call us to sacrifice, they help us see life through purer eyes. Children teach us to be more patient. They do cost us–in every way, and that makes us better. But sometimes that growing and chiseling of our vices hurts. And we tend to avoid pain, which causes us to be dishonest about the real purpose of children.

Children are not given to us so they can win beauty pageants, or because they’re cute. They’re not even to make us happy, though that is a fantastic by-product. Children are given to us as God’s very heritage, to propagate the gospel, to take a vital part in the Great Commission, to be part of the picture of the gospel, as representing the fruitfulness of the Bride and the Groom, to contend with the enemies of the cross.

The purpose of children, ultimately, is to glorify the Creator. And He uses them in all sorts of ways to help us better glorify Him.

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Adele May 13, 2014 - 1:23 am

I really appreciate this post, Kelly. It bothers me when friends look at a baby and say, “I want one!” like it’s a purse.

Natalie May 13, 2014 - 6:48 am

Thank you Kelly. How far we have fallen from God’s original design! It grieves me to think of how self-centered I can be. It is through Christ followers like you- speaking the truth in love, and by the grace of God, that my eyes have been opened to see these things. May we do all for the glory of God!

Michele May 13, 2014 - 7:17 am

This is written beautifully. Thank you and God bless you for writing it. It hurts when people make rude comments about how many children we have because now our little ones are getting older so they hear these comments. We are so blessed and honored that God is allowing us to raise these precious children for His glory. You are so right. They have taught us so much. They come into this world so pure and have taught us so much! Our memory verses are Matthew 18:1-6 right now:)!! I am blessed to be a mama to four blessings here and temporarily to one that is now home with Jesus. If The L

Michele May 13, 2014 - 7:21 am

I’m sorry. I accidentally pressed the submit button on my comment. I was going to close by saying we will be honored if The Lord sees fit to bless us with more of His children:)!!

Bambi @ In the Nursery May 13, 2014 - 7:42 am

Just the boost I needed today, friend. Excellent words and beautifully written.

Kelly Crawford May 15, 2014 - 7:05 am

Thank you, Bambi.

Shannon May 13, 2014 - 1:39 pm

So true! I love this. Mostly, I love it because I learned it the hard way. There was a whole lot of (and still is) chiseling going on.

Beth May 13, 2014 - 3:18 pm

Wise, wise words, that I’ll be sharing with my husband after I tell him about the two positive pregnancy tests I took this morning. 🙂 We are slightly older parents, and have three living children, the youngest only 10 months old. The gaps between them are 3.5 and 4 years, so this will be a new adventure in chiseling for us!

Kelly Crawford May 13, 2014 - 4:21 pm

*squeals*…I would love to hear how excited your husband is 😉 I have lots of experience in close gaps–not on purpose, just the way it is. It’s a good thing!

Amy May 13, 2014 - 5:46 pm

As an infertile woman who is a mom through adoption, I have to say that I LOVE this! So often blog posts about children leave me feeling sad and inadequate, but this was lovely. Thank you.

Daisy May 13, 2014 - 7:11 pm


Kelly L May 14, 2014 - 10:04 am

AWESOME. just awesome.

ohhappydaymama May 14, 2014 - 12:44 pm

This was so solid. I especially liked your first point (as long as we stay within the parameters of ‘normal’ no one’s boat gets too rocked).

Thanks for sharing, Kelly!

Annie D May 14, 2014 - 7:25 pm

Stop me if I’ve said this before…

When my son was born with Down Syndrome, my husband said to me, “God knows what we need in our lives to make us into the person He designed us to be.” Such wisdom.

6 arrows May 14, 2014 - 8:24 pm

Love this, Annie. Thanks for sharing.

Kelly Crawford May 15, 2014 - 7:05 am


6 arrows May 14, 2014 - 8:24 pm

Such lovely posts lately, Kelly, quietly and gently steering one’s thoughts toward home and family. Thank you so much.

Elizabeth September 16, 2014 - 3:12 pm

Thank you for these encouraging words! For many reasons, I am “behind” on my blog reading. I know you wrote this months ago but the Lord planned for me to read it today. I have recently been quite weary in doing good and parenting the hearts of my children. I have been asking the Lord to show me that what my family is doing matters for Him! Patience and perseverance is my lesson for now. And, it is amazing that almost every serious conversation I am having with my children sounds very familiar to what God is speaking to my own heart. “The purpose of children, ultimately, is to glorify the Creator. And He uses them in all sorts of ways to help us better glorify Him.” Oh, so true!


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