Home christian living The Joy of Giving Up My Rights

The Joy of Giving Up My Rights

by Kelly Crawford


“…you are not your own; you are bought with a price...” 1 Corinthians 6:19,20

As I have written on different women’s issues, and hear from many women on a regular basis about their opinions on said issues, it becomes clearer and clearer to me why there is so much dissatisfaction in life.

On one end, feminists hate anything remotely to do with “submitting” their lives to anything or anyone. They want to be their own gods and make their own rules. And almost always, anger and restlessness becomes their lot. And even on the other end, conservative women, indoctrinated with years of feminist thinking, often question the Bible and find every which way to reinterpret it to suit their appetites better, experiencing that same restlessness.

But what freedom comes when we take our eyes off of what other people say or think, even what we think, and look back to Scripture, fall in love with our Creator, and see how perfect and good and fulfilling He designed our lives!

What peace comes with an audience of One!

I am bought with a price–I am not my own. We either hate that or love it. There is either oppression in that realization or absolute freedom.

Submitting to my Creator, I become HIS; not subject to anyone’s opinion or not oppressed by what He has asked of me. Does He ask me to wash feet? The thing that most in our culture despise?

Gladly I wash feet because it was good enough for the very Son of God as man.

Does He ask me to submit? To Him? To my husband? To hardship? To suffering? To anything He brings me in life?

Joyfully I submit because “He has ordained whatsoever comes to pass.” And the irony comes: in submission He gives me power. I’ve never felt so free and at peace through submission as I do to the One who loves me more than I love myself. Are his laws grievous to me? Not one bit. They are beautiful and comforting and the more I relinquish my will to His, to more joy I find and the less anxiety I feel.

What has he asked of me?

“If you love Me obey Me.”

“Serve the least of these…”

“Walk in humility…”

“Love others above self…”

“Deny yourself…”

He has asked from me almost everything opposite the culture tells me to seek after (and even my own flesh). And then He says that when I do these things, He will give me the desires of my heart and life more abundantly.

So far, I have found Him to never lie.

Are you angry, anxious, bitter, lonely, tired? Fall into His arms with reckless abandon and find everything you ever wanted.

 

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19 comments

Chris February 27, 2013 - 11:26 am

How many feminists have you known? The feminists you describe don’t sound like the ones I know.

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Word Warrior February 27, 2013 - 11:37 am

Chris–approximately 324.

Joking. I know feminists everywhere. In my personal life, I’ve certainly got to meet quite a few through this blog (the most hostile ones, probably) and then there are those I’ve read about, whom I don’t know personally.

Even a cursory look at the media reveals discontent, confused feminists, still clamoring for “satisfaction and fulfillment”, always fighting, never at peace.

In short, lots of them.

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Keri February 27, 2013 - 1:30 pm

This was another good Post Kelly!! I honestly used to think that Submission was crazy when I first heard of it. I think many of us who didn’t come from Christian Homes had a little feminism in us. I know I sure did!!

What I now realize is that in submitting that there is Absolute Freedom! What does God call us to do..those things above you mentioned.And in a little more practical terms..little things like..When my husband asks me to not go into town a certain way when it’s dark.(He’s concerned for safety)..or When he asks me Not to pick up hitchhikers..hey-they were only women..lol..(safety). Things like that.

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Larissa Jenkins February 27, 2013 - 2:07 pm

This is so true. I planned on sharing my salvation story tonight at our service and also on my blog. I wish more women would realize what life can be like if they truely let go and submit to God first and Husband second.

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Kelly L February 27, 2013 - 5:18 pm

This post is great. I think a lot of people get caught up on the word ‘submission.’ Before I was a Christian, and even a few years after, I thought it meant surrendering all thinking, will and autonomy. Mostly that is because of the few who have perverted it in a certain type of religion. And because the enemy has done a good campaign of helping us think this way, especially in America.

I have now realized submission is trust. Trust that God has what is best for me in His plans and trust that my husband is looking out for me just as I look out for him. Before I learned submission, I was more than expecting him to do whatever I requested or demanded but was appalled when he would do the same of me. Silly, in retrospect. Yet, I think an accurate assessment of what I see in others who refuse to submit.

The cool thing is since I have submitted, I feel that both God and my husband trust me more than ever. God knows I am sold out so He gives me so many awesome things He couldn’t trust me with when I was ‘my own.’ My husband really has almost nothing to do with our finances or day to day running the house and schooling. I do go over the budget with him to consult, but I even hand out his and my weekly allowance. That is the exact opposite of the cruel, dominated view I had of submission.

You are absolutely right when you label it as sweet freedom.

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Kristy February 27, 2013 - 5:19 pm

This was absolutely beautiful. I was raised in a Christian home but there is still a bit of that feminism left in my mom & mom-in-law. I use to be quite liberal (compared to who I am today, praise God!) & was very “I don’t need a man”/”I’m an independent woman”/”I won’t let some man tell me what I can & can’t do” type. I’ve been married almost a year now to a wonderful Christian man &, even though I haven’t really had any opportunities to practice much submission, I hope to remember why I am submitting & to whom I trully am submitting to when I do come to those times where it isn’t the easiest to submit. Thanks for your article. It was great! 🙂

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Word Warrior February 27, 2013 - 6:24 pm

You’re welcome, Kristy.

I think the important thing too, to remember, is that we submit no less than our husbands; we all submit to authority–God’s. And it’s all for our good and his glory.

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Summer February 27, 2013 - 6:41 pm

Thank you, Kelly! I needed this reminder today. Even in my prayer time this morning, I finally submitted an activity to God that I knew wasn’t pleasing to Him. It was amazing to feel the burden lifted from me! I had a peace. That’s definitely sweet freedom!

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Laura February 27, 2013 - 7:49 pm

the thing I find the hardest is the minute by minute application of this…it’s NOT automatic…and the daily occurences that happen are often hard to determine WHAT is the submissive response…it is learned…not natural…so often, it’s AFTER I’ve gotten rebellious over a situation that I realize it…

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Charity February 27, 2013 - 10:21 pm

Beautifully written!

I’m not sure how to put this into words, but I just don’t ever really think about “submission”. I’ve never felt like a “doormat” or like I’m “giving up everything to do what my husband says” or anything like that. My husband is such a gentle (but not weak) man that maybe I just don’t notice it? Maybe it’s just easy since he’s not harsh and dictating? Or because I have a more shy/quiet/people pleaser type personality? Like I said, I don’t know how to put it into words…I’ve just never understood why women think the whole “submission” thing is so awful. Hmmm…..

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Karen February 28, 2013 - 8:39 am

I am a harsh selfish person and it is difficult for me not to think What do I want, think , feel? I was brought up in a middleclass small family… not much there to knock off any sharp edges,then became a feminist I became ALL sharp edges !! Then wonder of wonders I got a wonderful husband and two beautiful children and my edges began to be knocked off right and left.LOL It is not a pretty sight !!! Even after becoming a Christian I found more pokey things !!! The only time I have felt so peaceful kind loving was caring for an elderly friend over several years as she only had me to depend on and I was on call day and night , I felt irritated when I first realized “I ” was it but then I submitted myself to her care and it was smooth as butter, except when someone would call attention to “me” by saying they felt sorry for me it must be so hard or unfair. This is when I believe I have really learned about submission.

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Word Warrior February 28, 2013 - 10:34 pm

I loved this Karen! I’m talking at a retreat on Saturday about how feminism is the enemy of real biblical hospitality (which is defined as caring for the basic needs of others)…just what you’ve said here. We’re programmed to feel all prickly about taking care of others, when Jesus has said it is the most important thing we can do.

I just read a comment somewhere on another blog where a woman gripes and gripes about “having” to care for her pregnant friend who is bedridden. She proclaimed that the solution is for her friend to stop having babies so everyone can stop “having” to take care of her. Our thinking is so opposite God’s Word.

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Karen March 1, 2013 - 12:03 pm

Whenever I complain it seems I get a “Do Over” .!

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Nicole @ I'm staying home with my mom February 28, 2013 - 11:39 am

I lost my hubby in December to a work accident. I just wrote this morning on how I miss being a wife and all that entails…submission and being a help meet included. This post absolutely points to why I grew to become this way….I shared a link to it at the end of my post! Very timely post, thank you!

http://indulgentaromas.blogspot.com/2013/02/missing-title-of-wife.html

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Word Warrior February 28, 2013 - 1:03 pm

Oh Nicole, how very, very sorry I am for the grief and tremendous loss in your home. I have no words, and really, as you know, no one does. I pray that God DOES give you that immeasurable grace, given only in our deepest times of need, and that in time, the hurt would be less and less and He would be glorified by your tender acceptance of such a hard providence. My heart goes out to you.

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Eva March 1, 2013 - 2:40 pm

This is great! I also think that a lot of feminists who hate the “submitting” part part about being a Christian totally overlook the fact that men must submit to God just as much as women do! It’s not a women only thing.

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Jennifer March 1, 2013 - 4:45 pm

Yes they must, and there’s also the factor of laying down themselves for their wives. Hard stuff for men too!

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Shelby McLemore March 1, 2013 - 7:37 pm

This is beautifully written and right on. The feminists you describe are exactly like the ones I know personally – including some family members. I was raised in a Christian home, but my mom is not a submissive wife by any stretch. I cringe now at some of the things she says about “taking care of herself,” especially because I know she loves the Lord and she loves my dad – they have been together for 50 years!! It is just so ingrained in her generation and it rubs off on us whether we want it to or not. I have found such freedom in submission – to God and to my husband. I want everyone to understand that it is not being a “doormat” or losing yourself – it is, as you said “absolute freedom” to be who God created you to be. I so hope I am successfully passing this on to my daughters so they don’t have to struggle as much as I did early in marriage. I know they understand the concept, but seeing it lived out is what will actually make them want to embrace it for themselves. Blessings!!

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Missing the title of ‘Wife’ | Seeking Contentment July 17, 2015 - 5:34 pm

[…] just read this post from Kelly @ Generation Cedar and it sort of sums up how I got to this point of […]

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