“Oh dear, a career? You won’t have time to further another’s vision! You’ll be busy building a kingdom with your husband!”
Just a short word to wrap up our stimulating conversation about being a keeper at home…
I had mentioned this briefly in one of my comments, but in thinking about the words of Titus 2:2-4, I have been seeing a slightly new emphasis.
“…the older women…that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keeper at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
I am prone to think that this warning here has just as much, if not more, to do with the instruction given to the older women–that of teaching.
I think most of the time women in the work force who are choosing careers do so largely out of the lack of teaching on the commands of Scripture. We–older women, the church, are NOT teaching the younger women to keep their homes. We are tip-toeing around it at all cost.
We are saying, “It’s OK if you choose it…but by all means you are welcomed and encouraged to choose a career…” I would further say that we are encouraging the latter much more than the first, often not even leaving room for the option (“so, what are you going to do when you graduate?”)
We are not congratulating young married women and celebrating their new calling…giving them a vision for all it entails, and showing them practically how to create this haven out of which all of life flows!
We are not saying (with a warm, embracing smile), “Oh dear, a career? You won’t have time to further another’s vision! You’ll be busy building a kingdom with your husband!”
I think Titus 2 should be a wake up call to the older women of the faith…and to the church in general. If we stand in judgement, who will likely receive the heaviest condemnation?
10 comments
Very wise words : )
Now that I have chosen to pursue homemaking as a “career” instead of my previous plan, I get all kinds of weird looks and responses from people. I cannot tell you how guilty I feel. They don’t come right out and say it (well some people do) but it is clear that people think being a homemaker is another way of saying that you’re too lazy to work at a real job.
OH! Especially if you have no kids. Kids are at least somewhat of an excuse. The thinking is, if you stay home and you are childless, there’s something severely wrong with you in addition to your laziness. I have been told that I am really stupid for staying home being that we are in debt and my husband does not make good money. This is actually something that really bothers me as the debt is a result of my past mistakes. To the world, I am crazy and stupid for not bringing in an income but I am confident that this is what God wants for me. I am praying over our debt now too.
You hit this one out of the park, Kelly, because herin lies the major problem.
I have spent my WHOLE LIFE in church and do you know that I was NEVER introduced to these scriptures? I was always encouraged to be as successful as I could be in the context of the college/career path. And most Christians that I am in relationship now really don’t get why I am at home no matter how often I point them to the Scriptures supporting our family’s order.
I am a part of a church that is (I believe) a church that is head and shoulders above many in terms of teaching the truth about sin and righteousness, but even in my church, there is no encouragement for women to be keepers at home.
I think that these realities are why I am so compassionate towards women who are yes, out of order, but don’t know any better and are not being taught any better. I’ve been there.
I cam home by happenstance. We had twins 12 months after giving birth to our first child. It was simply more financially feasible for me to come home. As an overwhelmed and discouraged mom of 3 toddlers, I began to seek God like never before and came across the verses in Scripture that admonish women to keep their homes. The Lord revealed this to me HImself, and it changed my life. I am teaching it to my daughters, but sadly, very few young women are being taught this in the average church.
All My LIfe I was Continously Told I could do anything I wanted , Just to be told That Being a Homemaker WAS NOT an Option.
After many years I Finally Established Myself , but through no ease at all.
I Will Support My CHildren if any of them be female to do what is right.
Again, I would say that this verse could legitimately be saying that, because the pagan culture viewed out-of-the-house women as shameful, Paul was telling the women to not cause the neighbors to blaspheme the word of God by offending them.
The pagans and the Jews believed that women should be home-keepers. For a woman not to be a home-keeper was to bring down shame onto the new Christian faith, which was already something you could get killed for.
It’s kind of sad that now, thinking we are following God, we are simply parroting the things that the pagan and Jewish culture told women during NT times.
On another note, it is a great disservice to tell women that Titus 2 forbids working outside of the home. Catherine R., the commenter, could be industrius as the Proverbs 31 woman was, who certainly went *out of her house* in order to make money (considered a field and bought it—real estate, planted a vineyard—wine business, farming, etc, sold her cloths in the market—sales and shopkeeping), and we are told she is someone worth emulating—that she is a wife worth far more than rubies.
Let’s not take one possible interpretatation of Titus 2 (yours, in which you view it as God telling women that they are not to work outside the home) and make Proverbs 31 bow to it. Let’s take all Scripture with equal weight.
And let’s take great care that we are not mistranslating Scripture. We have to keep in mind that Paul was writing to real people dealing with real live issues and problems——a real surrounding culture that was looking at these newly freed Christian woman and deciding that Christianity was going to ruin everything. Paul’s motto was “all things to all men.” Offending the surrounding culture was only permissable when there was simply no other way around it. Otherwise, Paul said to the rich, become rich—to the poor, become poor. Be whatever it takes in order to win hearts to Christ.
If we take the real flesh-and-blood circumstances out of the NT epistles, we miss out on so much of the truth.
Interestingly, in your warnings to “not misinterpret Scripture”, you’ve done just that in the case of the Prov. 31 woman.
I have used her many times before as the perfect example of the Keeper at Home.
She beautifully demonstrates how a keeper is not a woman “chained to the confines of a house”, but understands that ruling her household is priority and gladly manages its affairs.
She does not “work outside the home” in the sense that modern women do.
You said she sells garments in the marketplace…no she doesn’t. Read it again. She sells garments to the MERCHANTS. She is a wholesaler. THEY go to the marketplace. (Much like I do when I sell my homemade skin products to someone else for retail.)
Buying real estate, planting a vineyard, those are all venues compatible with her duties at home. She doesn’t have to leave her house unattended for hours at a time. Her productivity flows outward from her home, not against it.
And most importantly, regarding her “home business”, is she is still under her husband’s authority…she doesn’t subscribe to another man’s (or company’s) purpose, time frame or schedule. This is one of the keys in understanding why it so damaging for a wife to hold a career.
The prov. 31 woman would not have got all those things done, if she had sat in the market place. Instead, she sold her product to the merchant and he took it to the market place. She didnt’ sit in a shop all day. She probably didn’t think she had to make these sashes day in and day out in order to make a lot of money. She may have made one, once in awhile, with left over fabric and extra time. I grew up in an era where women sold things sometimes, but only when everything at home was done and they never neglected the family for it.
Molly said:
“The pagans and the Jews believed that women should be home-keepers. For a woman not to be a home-keeper was to bring down shame onto the new Christian faith, which was already something you could get killed for.
It’s kind of sad that now, thinking we are following God, we are simply parroting the things that the pagan and Jewish culture told women during NT times.”
I see this a little differently: during the time in which this passage was written, *even pagans* knew it was a shame for a woman to be out from under the covering of her husband.
In the Western world of the 21st century, we have lost this sense of an appropriate sphere for women.
The fact that homekeeping was highly valued by Jews and pagans is no reason to ignore it today! That would be faulty logic.
So true! And how convicting at the same time!!
I know of countless women(my own dear mother included) who have feminist mothers, and so were not taught the things needed in order to be a homemaker. This made early married life very hard for my mother! The church tends to be blinded by feminism and to look down its nose at some woman who wants to be a homemaker. Or, they don’t go as far as to look down their noses at the Biblically-minded woman, but they are still all wrapped up in the feminist agenda, that they don’t even desire to take the time to teach the younger women all the numerous skills, etc. that the Lord commands that they teach. How tragic! We desperately need older women who will take this calling seriously, in obedience to Christ, and will teach the younger women all about these many, many important aspects of Biblical womanhood. Feminism truly has deprived us of so much!
Catherine,
My heart goes out to you. But, praise the Lord for such a wonderful example as you! He will richly bless you for your trust and obedience! 🙂 Never forget that. I’ll be praying for you!
Molly,
As I’ve said before, Paul never backed down from the Lord’s teachings! He would have preached and taught what the Lord wanted Him to, no matter what, and no matter who it offended! He wasn’t some mousy little man.
Also, the Word of God is breathed out by Him-it’s inspired by Him. He wouldn’t have the ending of Titus 2:5 be the way it is, to simply not offend people! That would be an absurd thing for God Almighty to do. Also, you said: “Be whatever it takes in order to win hearts to Christ.” Paul only meant that as far as it didn’t endanger the Gospel message in any way, and as long as it didn’t cause a person to disobey God. The Lord would have punished Paul severely if he taught people to do something that’s wrong, just as long as it brings that other person to Christ. Paul himself would avidly speak out against such a thing. To be honest, this kind of thinking like what you said is one of the reasons our churches are in the horrible shape they are. The “seeker friendly” churches aren’t bringing people to Christ. They’re(with their music, worldliness, etc.) giving people(unregenerate people) false hope. They’re not teaching the true Gospel, and are thus sending people to Hell with the thought that they’re all ok. This is truly tragic.
You said: “Let’s take all Scripture with equal weight.” Amen! That’s what I, Mrs. Crawford, and others have sought to do as we disagree with some of the things you’ve tried to teach.
I do hope you had a blessed Mother’s Day!