Home motherhood/family/parenting Raising Men in a Man-Hating World

Raising Men in a Man-Hating World

by Kelly Crawford

They were too loud and fidgety so we drugged them.

They were too “rough” so we softened them.

They were too given to leading us so we insulted them.

They were too protective so we started opening our own doors.

And still they simply try to be who we need and want them to be.

Men are rare. Real men allowed to be who God made them. And like almost everything in the universe, we, WOMEN, hold the power to shape and change. We are the ones who have so craftily disassembled the real men. And only we can help build them back and raise a new generation of them.

I want to love my boys, but let them be boys.

I expect a lot from them. I tell them they are leaders, even now, in our family, either modeling character, sacrifice and honor before their siblings, or living an example of self-centeredness and foolishness.

I am glad they are rugged, like to pretend to shoot things and play in the dirt. It serves an important purpose and I don’t want to feminize their tendencies, calling it “learned behavior” that needs to be unlearned in order to be “better managed.”

I want them to give special honor to women, children and the elderly. I want them to live out “my-life-for-yours.”

I want them to have role models like Daniel and Joshua; not Justin Bieber.

I want them to think, even now, about the family they will likely have one day. I want them to be planning, dreaming and making wise decisions now that will find them prepared at the right time.

I want them spending time wisely, preparing in their youth for one woman, not wasting it dabbling in relationships for which they have no business pursuing, wrecking hearts and lives along the way. I want them to pursue purity of mind, body and spirit.

I want them to have vision and I speak to them of such. I want them to have purpose, to connect actions with consequences, to be wise and walk circumspectly. This requires a basic rejection of typical “adolescent” thinking.

I want them to pursue the Lord young, to thirst after righteousness, and so we raise them to love Him, not as “pagans yet to pray a prayer”, but as children “holy” and beloved, members of His covenant of grace, and ever pressing toward the mark of the high calling of Christ Jesus.

Let’s. raise. men.

(Reposted from the archives.)

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Kathy-Hargett Webb November 11, 2014 - 8:08 pm

Hello, I appreciate and agree with everything in your article except one. That is helping boys flourish when ADHD is diagnosed. My son was so “figgedty”he could not pay attention to what he needed to. All stimuli were equal. You show deep prejudice about using drugs to help boys (and girls) to fulfill themselves. You need to educate yourself. Thank you.

Kelly Crawford November 12, 2014 - 3:00 pm


I don’t think it’s prejudice to acknowledge that ADHD is an overdiagnosed illness. That doesn’t negate the fact that some children do have the disorder, but that fact doesn’t mitigate the epidemic of overdiagnosis of healthy children. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/01/health/more-diagnoses-of-hyperactivity-causing-concern.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&

I don’t need to be educated to know that some boys who are naturally fidgety don’t need Ritalin. Perhaps you need to be educated to know that too many children are drugged who don’t need to be.


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