“We have the privilege of ushering in a new generation of women who love to be with their children…and want more of them!”
One of the by-products of the “seemingly harmless” notion that women shouldn’t think twice about pursing their own interests, having a career despite having a family, can be seen in many women’s attitudes toward their children.
So often I watch women interact with their children. Summer time is an interesting time to do this. Because now if you see Mom and children together, they’ve probably been together all day. And Mom isn’t used to that!
It hurts my heart to see so many scowling faces, from Mom and child, biting words and raised hands in anger, as they struggle to even be in one another’s presence. The child isn’t accustomed to being in a grocery store, Mom isn’t accustomed to being with her questioning 5-year old who lacks self-control, and the whole thing just looks painful.
It’s very easy to see how birth control gained such a popular opinion among a culture that once eschewed it. We didn’t see it coming: pursing other interests away from your family naturally erodes relationships within it.
As a Mom home all day with her children, let me tell you…IT AIN’T EASY. So I wanted to encourage you to work on liking your children. Let them be with you while you cook and clean and do projects, even if it takes a little longer. Don’t let the temporary chore you’re doing rob you of nurturing a relationship with that little person who will still be there long after the chore is forgotten.
I’m encouraged, too, that our own children are learning to be in each other’s presence, and my older girls are growing up learning how to cope with daily tasks while dealing with little ones. We have the privilege of ushering a new generation of women who love to be with their children…and want more of them!
Let’s not push them aside; this is a short time. Every moment is a chance to knit their hearts to ours.
11 comments
I am trying to teach my boys to love one another more. It is HARD! Their sinful natures gravitates toward selfishness and arguing. I know that if I work on this, then I will enjoy being around them. If I work on my own attitude toward them, I know it will also help them enjoy me! 🙂 Thanks for directing our thoughts this way.
wow.. this was so convicting yet encouraging…. this is so me and my sin… I like want TONS of kids, to raise for the KINGDOM and send out to change the way our culture is…. but at the same time I dont want them around me all the time.. what in the world!!?? that dosent make any sense…
thank you for posting this!! This helps a lot with my selfish, unbiblical, worldly thinking
thanks for the reminder. i admittedly do get a little tense when summer comes, but i think part of that is doing it mostly alone. i fidn it takes me a good week to re-organize and get the accelerated chores in motion. the thing i love most aobut summer however IS being with my kids, in a more laid back fashion. we do a lot more ‘fun’ things together….well, what i mean is more relaxing….we swim, make things, work outside, visit people, do crafts…..ride bikes. and we go to bed a little later 🙂
I came home almost one year ago and it was a HUGE adjustment! I thought I knew how to be with my kids, but I was wrong. I kept wondering, when will I get this or that done? Then I realized, I will do everything with them and it will be great.
It is really something to get used to and that is sad.
But you know what else? My kids had to adjust to being home. Every day they were like “where are we going today?” I would answer, “No where.” After the shock wore off they were content and that made it easier on me too.
Unfortunatly I am that mom. I catch myself yelling and raising my hand at my kids in public. I always hate myself afterwords and tell myself I will never go grocery shopping with my kids again. Then I realize, i need to keep bringing them and hand them the list. Keeping them busy will help them from bugging eachother and prepare them for the future. Thank you for reminding me that I need to be spending time with my kids all the time!
How I wish I had known all this when my kids were little. I did not enjoy them and couldn’t wait for them to grow up! (learned that attitude from my working mom) About4 years ago the Lord put us with a new church family who had much different ideas about family and children than I had ever heard. We have had a lot of our mindsets torn down, Praise God! and now we have teens who are learning the proper way to feel about children. They both want lots of kids, I told them I want at least six from each of them 🙂 I was a lousy mother but I’m going to be an awesome grandmother!
Well said Kelly, I notice the same thing you do once public school has let out. Moms and dads don’t know what do to with or around their own children. My daughter is only 2 but she’s with me all day and goes everywhere I go, we are used to each other. I also keep her involved in almost everything I do all day.
And funny thing is that I get so many compliments on her “wonderful” behavior when we are out together, how she acts much better than her age.
And I’m thinking well it’s because she’s with me all day and I expect good behavior, and she knows what I expect from her.
I too have noticed many moms unable to cope with their children, even on the weekends during the school year.
My oldest is only 4 and everyone is always commenting on how nice it will be for me when he goes to school. They usually looked shocked when I tell them I plan on homeschooling my children. A follow up statement is usually along the lines of “don’t you need a break?” Or “don’t you get bored?”
Um, no I guess I don’t want/need a break and how can hanging out with 3 awesome kids get boring?
I’m surely not a perfect mom…I fail so many times and I have frustrating days. But I do love to be around my children. I always have to take them with me when I go on errands or doc apt. But they are so much better and I enjoy being with them. I live on a cul-de-sac, the mom’s and dads get together almost every night (definitely every weekend) to party. One house is for the kids to stay which the oldest is 10, youngest is 2 (they are there alone…who knows what is happening). Then all the adults meet at another house to party. Of course we are never invited – even if we were, we would never go. These families are the first to send their kids off to another house or to grandmas during the summer. I never see them nurture their kids and spend time just enjoying them. They have their own ajenda and the kids are not apart of it. You see the results in the kids behavior, mouths, how they handle conflict, etc. It breaks my heart to watch. We have had some of the kids over for dinner occasionally (we try to be a light in a dark world to them)during dinner, we always do devotion…I remember one boy and his sister comment “we never have dinner together at our house, my mom and dad eat in front of the TV and we eat in the play room watching a movie”. They have asked several times to come over for dinner again so we can read to them. We are definitely the out-cast in the neighborhood…It is only by the Grace and Mercy of God that we have a saving knowledge of Him. We could be doing the same thing. I thank God that I have His Word to guide me as a parent and He has put godly people in my life that I can glean from as parents.
Thanks Kelly for your constant reminder of what a joy and privilege it is to parent each of our precious children.
Kellie
Yes! So true. There is a difference between having a relationship with your children and just BEING with them. It takes practice and sacrifice at first, but what a blessing in the long run! Thanks for the reminder!
-Faith