It’s all a big joke, I know, right. This slogan and many like it is a product of David and Goliath Tees. Free enterprise. I’m glad for it….the free enterprise, that is. Question is, in an age of “toleration” and banning stigmas at all costs (that is, stigmas of the right kind), there is yet a toleration for this kind of blatant slur against men and boys. Not only is there no outcry, as there would be against slander of any other people group, but apparently there is enough consumer support to keep the men-bashing coming.
This slogan was on a student’s folder, included in a pack of folders we received in some school supplies. There it is, meant to be seen, read and pondered every day as “Susie anything-boys-can-do-I-can-do-better” neatly gathers her stack of books while the boy next to her “obviously” is inferior because he can’t tolerate sitting in a desk for eight hours a day and so has to be medicated.
Men are the most targeted and hated group that exists. They are open game and no one dares to protest. They “got what’s comin’ to ’em” after all, right? My Dad recently commented that almost every commercial and sitcom on TV utilizes the public’s seemingly favorite past time–“dufus-male-watching”.
If we want proverbially castrated men, we’ll do it while their young. They won’t know the difference by the time they’re grown and then they’ll fill their “hardly necessary” role as breadwinners and procreators.
Don’t be party to the destruction of our men. To destroy a man’s self esteem and downplay his masculinity is to treat ourselves with contempt and trample on the precious and unique gift God gave us of complimenting and thereby complementing the opposite sex. I am challenged to swim against the current and edify my boys and men, teaching our girls to do the same.
81 comments
That folder really is offensive. I have a son and a daughter. It really stings when I think of someone telling either child that they are “stupider” than the other.
Thank you for writing this! I will be linking back to it today. I couldn’t agree with you more… not only are girls being taught male-hating, the “typical” male is being taught that they ARE the things that are being said. I can’t begin to quantify the amount of men that sit around watching tv or playing video games, ignoring their families, and making snide remarks… everything they’ve been told their “worthless selves” are only good for! It’s hard to inspire a man to be a leader in a home, church or community when they have no reason to step up while getting beaten down… especially by women. It makes my stomach churn! Anyway, I will get down from my soap box, but I have to tell you how lovely it is to see truth written for what it is and not being shut out because “it’s funny” or “just a joke.”
I remember saying things like that when I was a little girl. I am so thankful the Lord opened my eyes to the truth of His word regarding the role of women when I was still a young woman and before my husband and I were married. I hope to teach my daughter (now 2 1/2) to build up and edify her daddy, her brother (and any other brothers the Lord may give her!), and eventually one day, her husband.
The breakdown of the family in our culture is such a tragedy, and a little girl’s future family is already set up for destruction when she’s raised with this oft-promoted mentality.
Amen! But it’s not new… my mother-in-law would never let her children watch the Flintstones because of how the father was portrayed. She had too much respect for her husband to let her children passively ingest that type of attitude. This was a revelation for me as a young woman because I was never taught to be discriminate in my TV viewing. Now with our own children, my husband and I do not have TV, though we do watch movies. And my children are constantly having to discuss with me the deeper messages of what we do watch together.
Elizabeth, this is so true of television. We have one, but it’s rarely on. There is absolutely nothing on, even on PBS, that doesn’t in some way negate everything I am trying to teach my children, much less edify them in any way. Even the simplest educational shows for toddlers have feminist and humanist undertones.
“Even the simplest educational shows for toddlers have feminist and humanist undertones.”
Funny you should say this. I have been teaching my girls to watch for this for a while now. I knew it worked when they went to the Library for a movie ( I think it was Fantastic Mr Fox) and came home telling me how it was not a good movie for kids and how it taught socialism…LOL I told them that a movie (or a book for that matter) always tell you something about how the author, and in the case of tv or movies the producers think about the world around them. That way they are prepared when they see it and I am not there to talk it over with them. They are older though, 11 and 14.
Great post Kelly, this is a huge pet peeve at my house!
Ann
That is so true of many cartoons. I wouldn’t let my daughter watch The Berinstein Bears (sp?) because of that. And that is one that pretends to be more “Christian”!
I never thought of that about the Berenstein Bears. I suppose I always just focused on the relationship between Brother and Sister bear, since I have an older boy and younger girl close in age. But, thinking about all the episodes we’ve seen, there is an overwhelming truth that Mama Bear is the leader of the family and often has to mother Papa Bear. There are points when Papa Bear asserts his leadership role, but it’s usually in a negatively patriarchal way (fist slamming on the table, roar of the voice, stomping off) rather than a biblical one.
Your posts in my blog reader are always refreshing and affirming. I love to write about how to bring honor to our husbands and treat him like a king; something that apparently is very offensive to the “enlightened” (ahem)woman. (Not that I have arrived at this art form!)
One thing that perplexes me, and that I have written about is the strange irony that occurs in the actions and attitudes of feminists.
First, they insult, beat down and emasculate their men, and afterwards ends up despising them for what they have become. (Wimps)
I have seen and lived through this and it is only by the grace of God that I am not among them!
Great post, again. When we watch TV, we pick the ones that do not promote this. But the commercials in between do. It is a great thing to discuss this (and other) lies in advertising with your kids if they are old enough and wise enough to withstand the marketing stuff.
I am sharing this on facebook!
My daughter (9) has been rejecting t-shirts that bash boys since she learned to read. She gets so indignant..”I love my brother..why would I wear a shirt that was so mean?!”
I am still taken aback at girls’ attitude toward boys. There have been a few neighbor girls that I have had to take aside and say, “If you want to be friends with my daughter, you cannot be mean to her brother.” The worst bullies in my son’s kindergarten class before we started homeschooling were girls.
So we agree that the not so subtle sexual discrimination should stop and not be treated as “cute”.
LOVE love LOVE this! Thank you. I need this reminder as a previous malebasher. I’ve been very hurt over some emotional abuse and have been neglecting my husband-esteem building project. Back to it today! Thank you for the reminder… it’s not just for little girls!
This whole issue is one of the points on my “laundry list” of reasons that we do not watch TV and one reason I dislike more and more of the new cartoon movies… Tangled, the Disney frog prince one set in LA… I’m sure there are LOTS more just can’t think of ’em right now.
Thanks for highlighting this, Kelly. It is true and too many in the church ignore it.
It’s so true. Think of comedies on TV. They seem to hover around making the Mom look near God-like and the Dad look like an idiot. Idiot Dad messed up again, smart and God-like Mom must not only fix it but must make sure Dad and the kids know what an idiot Dad is.
Our world enjoys, ADORES, telling men they aren’t special and they are no big deal while pumping up women if they even burp during the day.
We don’t need men, we can do it all ourselves. We can have babies alone, raise them alone, work alone, live alone, and do it all better than any man ever thought about, so there!
Well, my sons are being raised differently. They are learning that they are DIFFERENT from women, can do things women can’t, will always be able to do some things women can’t, are very much needed, deserve respect, and are leaders set apart by God.
They see the example in the way I treat my husband, the way I treat them, and the way we live. They will know both man and woman were created equal in the eyes of God by God. But there are things both genders can do that the other can’t, and society needs to get a grip about it. You can’t change design. Funny how man has never given birth but woman thinks she can do every single thing a man can…well, except get pregnant without one. We need men. They are here for a reason. We need women. We are here for a reason. God’s design is perfect. We, as humans, need to quit trying to mess with it. That just ends in destruction.
You would never see something like this “made” for little boys, bashing girls!
Just one more lie we’ve swallowed and never questioned until the Lord mercifully opened our eyes, as women. I couldn’t agree with you more.
I’m teaching my son that he will enter a hostile world full of people who have been conditioned to ridicule him and hate his masculinity. May God give us the grace to raise godly, manly sons in this wicked culture!
One Word:
AMEN!
If boys are sent to Jupiter, it will be in a rocket designed by men.
Here’s a new one: if you believe there’s such a word as stupider, you’re as full of hot air as Jupiter.
No one should be unkind or disrespectful of anyone else. Period.
However, your statement
“Men are the most targeted and hated minority group that exists.”
is absolutely untrue. In the United States, I could perhaps see your point. But worldwide? No way. Read “Half the Sky” and watch the documentary “It’s A Girl.” From the youtube site:
“In India, China and many other parts of the world today, girls are killed, aborted and abandoned simply because they are girls. The United Nations estimates as many as 200 million girls are missing in the world today because of this so-called “gendercide”.
This documentary film tells the stories of abandoned and trafficked girls, of women who suffer extreme dowry-related violence, of brave mothers fighting to save their daughters’ lives, and of other mothers who would kill for a son. Global experts and grassroots activists put the stories in context and advocate different paths towards change, while collectively lamenting the lack of any truly effective action against this injustice.
Learn more about the film and sign up for email updates at http://www.itsagirlmovie.com“
Sorry for not clarifying…yes, I definitely meant in America.
Becky, I just finished “Half the sky” and as a Bible believing woman I BELIEVE that the reason women around the world suffer so, it’s because men have lost their way. They do not know or understand their value and worth. If they did, one of the first thing they would do would be to protect and provide for their helpmeet. Unfortunately, books like “half the sky” are promoting male bashing when they simply accuse men of the violence, “rescue” the woman and “promote” her to a higher hierarchy in the family. Completely out of order, but then again, that is the agenda of satan and feminists. Why won’t they put forth the same amount of time into training, teaching and rescuing these men, so they can provide for their families and communities. simply because that is the Christian way, that is God’s order.
In one of the chapters the authors said “Jesus never said anything about slavery.” Yes, they have no clue what they are talking about. They are blinds leading the blind. I think I will write a post about this book.
Anyway, great post, kelly. (baby sleeping in my arm. gotta go.)
I think she means in America, Becky.
TOTALLY agree. And when we have movies with titles like “Dumb and Dumber,” well… *shakes head* The worthless-male stereotype is perpetuated without even watching the movie.
It truly is sad how far our society has wandered from a correct understanding of how God designed men and boys to function. (Women and girls too.) Feminism’s attempt to cut males down to size in order to build up females does nothing constructive for either gender. When biblical foundations are eroded, everyone suffers.
I am thankful for the REAL men still out there that God gives us as examples of living out the Word according to His design. My husband is one of them, a very hard-working and devoted husband and father. (OK, I’ll admit to a little bias…but he is amazing nonetheless!)
I applaud you for this post, Kelly. Keep holding up the biblical picture in full view here. BTW, having your oldest son work with your husband, as you mentioned in your previous post, is a great example of how to build up our young men in God-honoring ways. Good decision!
Dr. Dobson talks a lot about this in his book Raising up Boys. Also in the videos. He showed how men are degradated in many TV comercials and sit-coms. He analyzed also the movie Runaway bride, how Julie Roberts is perfect in everything and Richard Gere is silly in everything.
Women -feminists or not- would not allow anything like this, but I am afraid men got acustomed and get passive and do not complain.
We, women of God, should go against the grain and show respect for males, starting with our own husbands, sons, fathers and brothers.
One of my pet peeves for sure, even 20 years ago when I WAS a feminist I used to get soooo sick of my lesbian supervisor ranting endlessly about the worthlessness of men, now it has spilled over into the general population , especially girls now raised in single mother households see males as a foreign species .Women have raised males to be feminine for 40 years now and then they complain about how some men have turned out ,and drug the little boys who show any signs of maleness. I make a big deal of it here as our family in this next generation is mostly female and we don’t want them messed up in their thinking.
I will strongly disagree: Julia Roberts was a mess and he was the guy who brought her to her senses!
Sorry Karen, I meant to reply to Carolina!
Julia Roberts was not afraid of the snakes; he was. Julia did not forget to turn off the lights of the car; he did. He even pumped diesel instead of normal gas in his car; she fixed it. She knew the right answer about a football question, a question that none of the men could answer.
Richard Gere got fired by his boss, who happened to be his ex wife. he had nothing to say. just leaves the company. he went to a hair salon and the women there made fun of him dying his hair green. he does not react. several times he is hit by different women. he is shown as a good person but weak.
At the end of the movie there is a subtle scene where you see a lightly overweight boy, with a sad face, riding a toy horse. Just next to him you see a girl who is beautiful, slim, smiling and who is riding a true pony.
things like that. yes, jennifer, she was a mess, but is shown to be a smart mess. He had an organized life, but is shown as a weak and stupid man who cannot even pump the right kind of gas in his car.
It is definitely too bad they showed him as weak; I didn’t recall these points. I only recalled him setting her straight, and even her family; he gave them the tough medicine they needed.
“At the end of the movie there is a subtle scene where you see a lightly overweight boy, with a sad face, riding a toy horse. Just next to him you see a girl who is beautiful, slim, smiling and who is riding a true pony”
That IS ugly. Didn’t recall that either.
I would not have remembered any of those things either if not for Dr. Dobson exposing them. Many things are just not so obvious, but they are there. if you ever watch the movie again, check!
I will, thanks for letting me know!
You and your kids may like the film, “Race for your life, Charlie Brown!” The boys and girls of the Peanuts gang go camping and all get stranded during a race. The girls get very high maintenance and demanding, and for a while Charlie Brown and the boys take it. Then, of a sudden, Charlie finally puts his foot down and tells them off, more than once. I loved it!
“Why did I get Married” is a great film for adults. Strong women and men, but all flawed, and both sexes end up standing up for themselves.
Great stuff to embrace today! I shared this on my blog too. http://www.thestraightenedpath.com/2011/08/manly-daughters.html
Aw, this post scored me my first somewhat derogatory comment on my blog ever! I feel so excited that the Lord is using my blog to spark conviction and causing people, regardless of their beliefs, to know why they believe what they believe!
I remember this topic from years ago in a “Raising Boys” Bible study I attended. Since then I’ve been very aware of this problem. I don’t want my sons to feel less than their God-given potential and ability. And I sure don’t want my daughters thinking that is how females should view males.
But it is how society portrays it, isn’t it? Just watch a few commercials or sitcoms and there it is. Blatant. Right in your face. For some reason it’s funny to humiliate and de-masculinate (word?) the man. So wrong!
Thanks for sharing this topic today. We all need to be aware of this and protect our children from it’s influence.
I have 2 boys – 2 weeks and 22 months. When I was pregnant with my youngest people would ask how our toddler was handling it. I would laugh and say “He’s a boy, he has no clue.” I never thought anything of it until I read this post. Thank you for writing this. I will be more careful now! As a side note, my toddler did have a clue…when he came to meet baby Cale in the hospital he climbed on my lap, pointed to Cale and said “baby”. I’m pretty sure he knew that was the baby in mommy’s tummy. 🙂
This item is timely. I was in awkward situation recently where an “aged woman” in the group started in on men declaring that they “never grow up – They’re just boys in men’s bodies.” I hate this ideology (I don’t hate her, but I hate what she has bought into) because it implies that women are more mature and wiser and men are “stupider”, contrary to scripture. In the context of the situation, not only was her husband being slandered (IMO), but so were my dad and brother and sort of my own husband. I am not happy with the way I dealt with it. In a similar situation I would like to present some challenge to the talker or at least let other ladies present know that perspective is not biblical. I don’t want to be rude to an aged Christian woman, but I don’t want to let such things pass either, especially when there are other women and even children present. It is such a wrong ideology to be putting into people’s heads.
So, QUESTION:
How does one graciously say something in such a situation to declare the truth? (This particular “line” has come up before and I’m sure will again.)
Mary,
You ask a good question, and I think you’re right that the “men never grow up” line should be addressed when someone says it.
I guess I would try to gently (speaking only to myself here!) counter a blanket statement like that with a specific example of any man I might know who has exhibited his maturity by the way he lives his life, especially if the example is of someone she would know.
I would also add that if the slur is against a Christian man, a reminder of how we as believers are growing up into Christ, but have not yet “arrived,” may be in order. Becoming mature is a process for all of us. (You may also want to ask the speaker how she defines growing up, and what her definition of maturity is – sometimes questions can be more effective than statements in getting people to think about a topic in a way they hadn’t before.)
Hope that helps! Blessings to you, Mary.
Mary, when dealing with Christians, I almost always use a Bible verse. They may feel free to argue my point, but most are shy to argue God’s.
I would say, “I don’t feel comfortable joining this conversation because I am reminded of the verse ‘Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.’ Eph 4:29″ and I certainly wouldn’t want my husband to think I said things that would tear him down.”
God may have something better for you to say, ask Holy Spirit to prompt you with the right words and to give you boldness for Him. I just prayed for you and for the hearts of those ladies to be softened to receive the truth. Your heart to stand for Him will allow God to use you mightily in this!
By the way, there are evolutionists who are figuring out that there is something seriously wrong with the way boys and men are being raised, treated and portrayed in our culture in the West. They are seeing the feminizing of the males as a serious threat – to them it is a threat to evolution, of course. I find it curious that the situation is so bad that these people are seeing it and starting to address it. One evolutionist who has written on the subject is Dr. Lionel Tiger. I stumbled across a YouTube video of him speaking on the subject. Of course, we know that God created men and boys to be what He designed them to be, so the only solution that will ever bring satisfactory results is to return to that.
I read this post before I headed to the store to buy shoes for my 2 yr old. One of my biggest pet peeves about being the mother of six boys is the constant subliminal message I get from retailers. I have to scavenge every single shelf, rack, or bin for boy clothes and shoes. While there are at least five different rows of pink, purple, and flowers, I get to go to the back of the department for the “leftovers” of the row and a half for my sons. My sons have queried why it is so difficult to find decent looking ANYTHING for them when they’re surrounded by so much girl stuff. What we see is that as a boy, they’re not worth the time and effort to make clothing for (never mind that we probably replace 90% of their clothes when the next brother gets them). As for shoes, unless you want to spend $40 for a quality pair of sneakers for your toddler, good luck finding your size on the bottom shelf shoved to the back for the ONE style amidst the dozen or so styles for their female counterparts. – from the mother of a still shoeless toddler who couldn’t find his size in a male style (plenty of girl shoes though)
I’ve been thinking about this too. All our bio kids are girls, but when we adopted I noticed this problem first-hand. There’s just nothing charming about the boy clothes available. I’ve made tons of hairbows and cutsie things for my baby girl. What do you do to make a baby boy cute? There’s nothing out there!
I made my boys sweat shirts with simple cross stitch patterns…some bearing their names, or ducks and chicks splashing in rain puddles…teddy bears…blocks…and trains! Waste canvas is a WONDERFUL thing!
I can’t stand that stuff. I don’t want my girls growing up with that attitude – how sad.
How long will men suffer under such abuse before they decide to reject women altogether?
Already, I have changed. I used to stop and help a woman if she had car trouble. Now I breeze by and let her fend for herself. She probably hates me anyway.
The funny thing is that the man-hating only proves how GOOD men really are. If any other group was subjected to this kind of abuse for this long, there would have been terrible consequences.
My deep concern is that legions of hated and rejected young men will find their way into Islam, because Islam offers a man respect for simply being a man. The way modern women act, they are extremely effective recruiting tools for Islam.
Christianity provides respect for men too. Islam offers idolizing.
Jennifer, Jack isn’t denying that Islam idolizes masculinity to a destructive degree. He is right, though, that the general populace of women–Christians included–have been affected by feminism, aware or not, and it comes out in the “harmless insults” of men, some examples mentioned here.
It’s why I speak out so strongly against the feminist movement…whatever they *meant* to do is irrelevant. Christianity is the true liberator of women; we should be teaching what Scripture says about men and women if we wish to have a society that both esteems women and men equally. The feminist movement has just tilted one attribution of value to a different sex and now men suffer its consequences. Whenever we try to correct a societal ill apart from the standards of God’s Word, we mess it up…royally.
“Christianity is the true liberator of women; we should be teaching what Scripture says about men and women if we wish to have a society that both esteems women and men equally”
“Whenever we try to correct a societal ill apart from the standards of God’s Word, we mess it up…royally”
Perfectly said.
“If any other group was subjected to this kind of abuse for this long, there would have been terrible consequences”
There have been.
You are so right. We have to turn this despiteful and unGodly trend around. It’s no wonder men don’t know how to act like men and boys never learn manliness. God gave strengths to men, not just physical, and those strengths have been downplayed and outright denied by the “feminists”. We need to appreciate men and ask God to bless them and their masculinity. I like this post.
Excellent, Kelly. I am challenged to swim against the current as well. Thank you for speaking up.
My husband actually had a woman he didn’t know, walk up to him after a church dinner, while he was helping clean tables, and look at him disdainfully, and say…”A MAN washing tables? I have to watch this…it should at least be entertaining!”
How offensive! And if he had stood in the parking lot, and said to her…”A WOMAN driving home from church? I hope we all make it home ALIVE!” Would she have found that amusing?
Probably not your husband, but any other man would never offer to clean that table again. These women don’t think when they say things like that.
I told my DH tonight that he was my hero. He was cleaning the kitchen after dinner. His reply “I am glad you think so.” 🙂
I just saw this article this morning
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/epic-t-shirt-fail-quot-im-too-pretty-to-do-my-homework-so-my-brother-has-to-do-it-for-me-quot-2537106/
Proof that the “bashing” is not allowed to flow both ways. Interestingly, I think the shirt in the article was made by the same David & Goliath company as the slogan you cited. Interesting, indeed.
Oh, and I wonder, if there was outrage over the “boys are stupid” products that innundate the market if companies would pull them off the shelves like JC Penney did the girl insult tee. Probably not, which is very, very telling.
I am PROUD to be a mother of 2 boys, and if God only gives us more and no daughters, I will be perfectly happy with it! I love boys and men and all that they stand for. My sons are not “stupider” than any girl — I don’t find that folder funny in the least.
Thanks for sticking up for our sons!
Who as a kid didn’t love Winnie the Pooh as a movie. I did. When I had children and watched it again I was disturbed by the lack of true fatherhood displayed. Especially in the more “modern” versions (The Heffalump Movie), only motherhood is exclaimed. No fathers anywhere. This opened my eyes to the bias in childrens programming.
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I suspect blacks and the disabled would be surprised to hear that men are the most targeted minorities
Perhaps, but probably not. It’s really obvious to anyone looking around. Case in point…we wouldn’t tolerate a slur like I used in this example for ANYTHING if it were made about one of the groups you mentioned.
I agree that no one would tolerate this slur if made against any other group. It’s obnoxious and offensive in general, no matter who it is applied too. However, I really don’t think that the male gender, which constitutes 50% of the population (and more in some countries, such as China and India) and who truly do hold the majority of powerful political and business positions in the world are able to be called a “minority group”.
You’re right–I changed it. I was thinking “minority” as in not respected but the numbers don’t work 😉
Below is a message I received on FB. This is exactly what your article is pointing too. The blatant insult towards men. It did nothing to educate me about breast cancer awareness and only irritated me. I have a wonderful godly, SMART, husband, and four mighty men in training and I don’t think that this is just light hearted fun. The devil is sneaky and a liar and I don’t think we need to play along with such things. Just my opinion. 😉
Ok pretty ladies, it’s that time of year again, in support of breast cancer awareness!! So we all remember last years game of writing your bra color as your status?…..or the way we like to have our handbag handy? Remember last year so many people took part that it made national news and, the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we’re doing this and helped raise awareness!! Do NOT tell any males what the status’ mean, keep them guessing!! And please copy and paste (in a message) this to all your female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year!!! I did my part… now YOUR turn ! Go on ladies…and let’s have all the males guessing! .. It’s time to confuse the men again (not that its really that hard to do :)) Everyone knows it makes their brains work wonders on what we’re talkin about!! The idea is to choose the month you were born and the day you were born. Pass this on to the GIRLS ONLY and lets see how far it reaches around. The last one about the bra went round all over the world. So you’ll write… I’m (your birth month) weeks and I’m craving (your birth date)!!! as your status. Example: Feb 14th: I’m 2 weeks and craving Chocolate mints!!Days of the month:
1-Skittles,
2-Starburst,
3-Kit-Kat,
4-M&M’s,
5-Galaxy,
6-Crunchie,
7-Dairy Milk,
8-Lollipop,
9-Peanut Butter Cups,
10-Meat Balls,
11-Twizzlers,
12-Bubble Gum,
13-Hershey’s Kisses,
14-Chocolate Mints,
15-Twix,
16-Resse’s Fastbreak,
17-Fudge,
18-Cherry Jello,
19-Milkyway,
20-Pickles,
21-Creme Eggs,
22-Skittles,
23-Gummy Bears,
24-Gummy Worms,
25-Strawberry Pop Tarts,
26-Starburst,
27-Mini Eggs,
28-Kit-Kat Chunky,
29-Double Chocolate Chip Crunchy Cookies,
30-Snickers,
31-White Chocolate…
..
Thank you, Sara. I had seen the statuses but hadn’t seen the explanation. And yes, you see it…the “subtle”, “harmless” message: “time to confuse the men again, not that it’s really that hard to do”…just a normal part of our thoughts/conversation.(By the way, how are the “easily confused men” supposed to figure out the riddle without the list anyway?
I wonder if these women are aware that many secular men are receiving the advice to confuse women while dating them? They’ve come up with an ugly term for how our brains work: rationalization hamsters. They tell men to “play with our hamsters” by making us wonder how devoted they really are, treating us like jerks, and all of this to get sex from us faster. This is disgusting, and it should also be considered disgusting when women make fun of men’s minds.
I can’t tell you how discouraging this whole thing (the ugly male dating advice) has been! They say that women dump nice men, so men should treat women like jerks because this will attract them! It’s so disgusting, and many irresponsible women triggered this with their attitudes as well. The sexes are NOT supposed to be this way!!
I’ve long thought that it’s possible to have a male character who umbles around, as long as it’s in the context that says that *THIS CHARACTER* is a foolish guy and not all men are. A good example is Maxwell Smart in the old “Get Smart” show. And even though he’s a total fool he still got loads of respect from “99”. Likewise everything bad happens to Charlie Brown,b ut it’s because he’s himself and not because he’s male.
I am a male basher. I learned it at a very young age. My mother taught it to me. I have been married almost 6 years and I have dogged my husband to no end to family, friends, perfect strangers. I am ashamed of this, he has even caught me doing it. I was only sorry I was caught, but in my ignorance I felt he needed to hear it. I have very little respect for men especially if they aren’t doing the right things, I’m a mess and God is working on me. Things (my tongue) is getting better. I hate how I speak about my husband when he angers me, I realize I do it from emotions but it’s wrong none the less.
Nicole, it is so great that you realize your sin and you are letting God work on you. Your submission honors Him!
I was also that person, and, if you don’t mind, here is what helped me. (I was not this faithful in doing all these, but wish I were.)
1) every morning tell your husband a trait that you love, admire or respect about him. It will remind you and him.
2)before you say something bad about him, remind yourself of your own traits that may frustrate him. perspective sucks at first, but is so helpful in attitude.
3) this is the most difficult, because we can often catch our tongue, but have difficulty catching our hearts and thoughts. When you start thinking those thoughts, start confessing, aloud, “I am a new creation in Christ, the old man has passed away.” Do it until those thoughts cannot grab hold. Start singing praise songs.
It is not just your own mind and heart you are battling, it is the enemy striving to control your marriage through these thoughts. But, Praise God, He who has begin a good work in you is faithful to complete it and He offers His strength to accomplish His desires in a surrendered heart!
<3
I grew up in a home where male-bashing was a fun joke for all, even Dad. Problem was, Mom took her own jokes to heart–scream fests at my father for every thing wrong that happened in her life for practically my entire childhood. I still jest by habit, but even as a child I hated how my father and practically all men have been targeted as inferior and women as superior. I grew up believing that I had to be an independent female. It was so automatic, I didn’t really think anything of it.
I blame feminism for warping my mother into the mess she is today. My father worked so hard to please her, and it was never enough! Now my teenage brother is always cheerfully putting himself down ad nauseam. I hope he isn’t ruined for life. I can only imagine the downward spiral that could happen if he lets that kind of thinking decide his future and run him right back into “loving” mom’s arms when he’s 30 years old!
What a great post, this is really eye-opening because wow….male-dufus watching…I never thought about it but it is so true! And kind of interesting, thinking of some of the shows I’ve seen recently….either the males are complete “dufus'” and their wives pretty much treat them like a child, or in contrast they are smart, sharp and successful and happen to play for the other team….
Just read your blog and can’t agree more. As a mom of three boys, quickly turning in to men, It is painful to see what society wants them to become. I still think the best example we can give them is a Godly Dad, who is the leader in his home, active in his church, and to be a wife and mom that respects that and shows it!
We shouldn’t insult each other. Ever. However, I will disagree, even in America, that men are the most hated group. There is still a lot of discrimination against people of other faiths, ethnicities, and horrible stereotyping of both men and women.
I have feminist ideals. Do I hate men? No. Do I think men are needed? Yes. Will I allow myself to marry, stay at home, raise children, and allow a man to provide the income, take care of me, and lead the household? Never. I am an independent, self-reliant woman and proud of who I am. Does this mean I will devalue my husband’s masculinity, portray him as an idiot to my friends and family? No, because I wouldn’t want him to do the same to me.
I’m striving for a good career as a woman and support my husband in his career as he is supportive of mine. Men and women may be different biologically, but I honestly believe that in terms of careers and leadership, women are just as capable of men in doing business, scientific research, and holding positions of power. But I believe this is completely independent of masculinity vs. femininity. Overall, men and women, or anyone for that matter, should never ever insult one another because it does affect their self-esteem in the long run.
“Will I allow myself to marry, stay at home, raise children, and allow a man to provide the income, take care of me, and lead the household?”
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with any of that. Except the last part, if he’s doing it exclusively.
“Men and women may be different biologically, but I honestly believe that in terms of careers and leadership, women are just as capable of men in doing business, scientific research, and holding positions of power”
Agreed.
It doesn’t matter your gender treat all human beings with respect. I am a femmenist, that does not mean I don’t respect men and their contributions to my life and society as whole.
Most of the gender war occurs in cities, because lets be honest – anyone can sit infront of a computer all day posting messages on FB 🙂 In an increasingly non-physical world men being masculine seems to be becoming obsolete.But not quite. What feminists forget is that the only reason they have the freedom to spew their garbage is because men are bleeding out on far away abattlefields, crime ridden streets,nd burning buildings to give their their freedom and safety. Their hypocrisy is just plain evil. It’s plain to see militant feminism is being used as a depopulation too. A healthy population can only happen with healthy relationships. Funny that the circles of elite world power in the world have ZERO women. Yet they are the ones that fund feminist groups. Feminism started off as a righteous cause but was quickly hijacked by the elite and manipulated to their own ends. All I ever wanted was a peaceful existence with wife and family on a farm somewhere in the countryside. Unfortunately aggressive, angry, and power hungry people in the world are making that increasingly hard. I’m losing hope fast as a man and a human.
P.S I support the feminist movement that actually helps women that are being brutally oppressed in parts of the world. But as another user said, those men responsible need to be rescued and re-educated, not exterminated. The west has been hijacked by radical feminism, which is just crazy. Men and women were not intended to be at war with each other, I guarantee you if you leave a little boy and girl to grow up together on a desert island with no outside influence, then they would grow up to have a stable, healthy, normal relationship. Nature is perfect, no need to influence and tamper with it. Which is exactly what’s happening. However, you ladies have shown me some light, I hope to marry a wise and thoughtful woman such as yourselves
Max,
I have enjoyed reading your thoughts. You have some great insight and like you, I hope we can see some change instead of losing hope.
I just like the helpful information you provide in your articles