Home motherhood/family/parenting The Joy They Would Have Missed

The Joy They Would Have Missed

by Kelly Crawford

Yesterday, as our family sat around the breakfast table, we had an unusually sweet time. The older children were really enjoying watching the younger children’s antics, and the younger children knew they were “performing” and loving every minute of it. My husband and I just sat and watched all of them, marvelling at this beautiful interaction. Now let me just say, they do not always interact so peacefully : – ) We have LOTS of training opportunities. But this particular meal was especially enjoyable.

And as I thought about what I was observing among my children, a thought occurred to me. If we had stopped having children after our first two were born, my children would never even know the joy of having a little baby in the house. And then I thought about all the millions of families whose children miss this incredible blessing. Even in families where there are several children, most of the time the oldest is off to school while the little ones are home, so they still miss the majority of its life. Contrary to the popular opinion that children are a burden, our younger children are one of the greatest sources of joy to our older ones; they cannot imagine life without them. It just hit me that receiving every child God gives us has brought yet another blessing I had never really thought about.

And then beyond the sheer joy of having a house full of little babies and toddlers, is the preparation that is taking place. My oldest children will be far more prepared to be mothers and fathers than a child who has rarely ever been exposed to babies. My daughters will be far better mothers than I am, praise God.

And I do want to be tender towards those who may not even have children, or for those who have one or two, and maybe regret not having more. I do not mean this post to inflict guilt or sorrow. I never mean any of my posts to do that. My purpose here, as always, is to enlighten our thinking. To bring to light all of the joys and blessing of children, whether you have made the decision to limit your family size or not. I pray that those of you who have limited your family size or are unable to bear children, will still embrace the blessing of children all the same, recognizing that it is good in the sight of the Lord to receive His blessings, and encouraging those around you in that thinking.

And for those who may be praying about the decision of having children, I pray God will show you how His ways are higher than our ways; and how His design is far better than the one the world tries to show us. There are numerous blessings that we can’t even see all at one time if we try to reason it all out. But when we just let the Lord be in control of this area, He reveals His glory, and grace, one sweet life at a time!

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Kathy, Jeff's Wife April 23, 2007 - 7:19 pm

I have all teen-agers now, which pretty much makes us an ‘all grown-up’ house. Yes, we do miss out on so much laughter by not having little ones around. When we have babies visit EVERYTHING stops and we just soak them in, all they have to do is smile and we think they are a genius!

At the same time, there are times when God chooses for the quiver to be full at one or two arrows.

I had my tubes tied after #4…my biggest regret in life! I had a reversal, but God has chosen not to give us more, thus our quiver is full. We make the best of it and look forward to having grandchildren one day, and we JUMP at the chance to babysit and hold babies at church!

WW, you need a babysitter this weekend? ;o)

Anonymous April 23, 2007 - 8:59 pm

Upon my first visit to your site I read the “Prayer of Birth Control Users” filed under articles and inspiration. It comes across as very harsh and unloving, even mocking. There are many many devoted Christians who are seeking the Lord with all their hearts and yet may not share your conviction about limiting or spacing children. Why mock them in this unloving way?


Word Warrior April 24, 2007 - 7:41 am

Dear Bethany,

I understand your immediate reaction to what you consider a “harsh and mocking” piece, referring to “The Prayer of Birth Control Users”. But consider my intention…

I believe that Christians are so accusomted to the world’s ways and methods, that we are literally “blind” to some very important things. Often the only way to break through those blind spots is to speak bluntly, which can come across as harsh. (Jesus often shocked the spiritual leaders of his day with rather blunt, harsh words, trying to shake them out of their stupor).

It is NOT my intention to hurt feelings or mock, or do anything that is hurtful to others, please understand that. However, I feel a strong urgency to give a wake-up call to the body of Christ and make them think, deeper than they ever have, about all the aspects of what Scripture teaches about children. The “prayer” on my site is meant to draw an analogy so that people can see the issue in a different light.
When I came across that “prayer”, (I do not know who the author is), it even made ME think, and probe a little deeper into what I believe about God’s control over our lives, and over life in general.

What you said is true…there are those who truly love the Lord and seek Him with all their hearts, who have unfortunately NEVER been challenged with this area of birth control and children. I feel it is an urgent message to the church; one Satan has tried hard to hinder. My desire is to break through the walls of resistance, if you will, and challenge the people of God to really consider, really think, and pray, and ponder what the Lord’s heart is concerning children.

But I will consider what you said; I will pray about the “spirit” of that piece on my site, and consider removing it if I decide it is offensive. Thank you so much for your input.


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