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Hear My Heart

by Kelly Crawford

I fully understand some of the responses I recently received about the “negativity” on my blog. And I have taken to heart the thoughts, praying that the Lord will help me see where I am too quick to assume the worst in others. Probably largely a reactionary behavior to what I see on a larger scale.

I also wanted to make another point…I’m pretty sure I don’t have the gift of encouragement, or mercy, and when I started this blog, I knew it would be bent toward my particular gifts and passions. As much as I would love to be all things to all people, I can’t.

When Jeremiah was given the daunting task of speaking to the rebellious nation of Israel, he wasn’t real excited. Once he even cursed the day he was born! He said that he had become a curse to all men because they did not like what he was saying.

Perhaps he would have preferred a cheery message of “we don’t really know anyone’s heart”, but instead, God gave him one that would make us shudder: “Go tell those people, whether they listen or not, that because they have followed their own hearts, and have not obeyed me, I will slay them, man, woman and child, and the birds will eat their corpses.”

Ouch.

Now I’m NOT saying God has given me Jeremiah’s mission. But I can’t, no matter how hard I try, avoid what He lays so heavily on my heart.

Now in my humanness, I falter. I say things I shouldn’t say; I judge too quickly; I am often too harsh; I mess up–and I take full responsibility for that.

And I am learning to bring each post before the Lord and willingly accept if it shouldn’t be written.

I’m also willing to say hard things, even if they are not popular.

We all need encouragement–which is I why I occasionally make it over to one of those blogs whose author has the gift of encouragement! And I hope, in between the harder things here, I encourage sometimes.

I just want to throw out a reminder that God often uses hard words to rebuke a nation; and sometimes we must use hard words. I never mean to use one person as an example of sin, or errant thinking. I only mean to address a sweeping pattern, which, actually, does manifest itself in individual responses.

I guess I use them like a parable…much like Jesus did, to make a point. Was he slandering the anonymous people in his stories? Were they real or make-believe? Does it matter, if that’s his method of teaching a lesson?

Just points to ponder!

I cherish every reader, every comment, positive or negative.

I hope you hear my heart.

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16 comments

Catherine R. August 8, 2008 - 2:59 pm

I think this post is very sweet. I admire that you are self-aware (to use a silly pop-psych term). I very much appreciate when people are honest about their shortcomings AS WELL as their strengths. Just because a person knows their strengths does not make them arrogant, that’s ridiculous.

Also, knowing your weaknesses is in itself a strength. It takes being humbled to say something like “I don’t have the gift of encouragement” Bravo. You DON’T have to be all things to all people, thankfully God the Father is good at that.

You have many things to offer and clearly many people find your words very inspiring and in some ways…encouraging!

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jonash August 8, 2008 - 3:00 pm

I hear you . . .

I don’t think you are trying to “judge” anyone. I hear the same conversations swirling around me, moms who are upset that their little ones ‘must’ go off to school…

I just want to put my arm around this stranger’s shoulders and whisper in her ear that there are different ways.

I don’t want to push anyone somewhere they don’t want to go. I do want so deeply to point out options! There are so many that people don’t know about! They just keep doing what their grandparents, their parents, what all the other parents around them do, even when it breaks their heart or doesn’t ‘feel right’. (Not that those are to be our guidlines.)

I don’t feel you judging anyone. I see you pointing out real examples of how people often think. Just because everyone does it doesn’t make it right. And that can be very startling to learn.

Blessings,
Ashley

http://www.homesteadblogger.com/Jonash2004

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Amy August 8, 2008 - 3:39 pm

We would ALL do well to extend to you the same gracious and loving spirit, assuming the best of your heart, that “we” have called you out for regarding your “perceived” harshness on others. I happen to recall that you have previously posted a similar “hear my heart” with respect to your dialogue with a woman about how you handled putting one of your small children to bed. In that response, you asked your readers to hear your heart, but also respect the message for which you have been called to give. Maybe, because there are many who don’t follow your blog enough to really “see” your heart threaded through your postings, you could do an introduction so that they would understand your purpose and the spirit in which you write. I heards someone question Michael Pearl (No Greater Joy Ministries) one time regarding his apparent harsh tone. His response was “I am not James Dobson. If I were, this would not be my ministry, it would be his. If you want that kind of ministry, visit his site.” Well said.

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Daniel's Helpmeet August 8, 2008 - 3:46 pm

I am new to your blog and I really have appreciated the firm stance and conviction you write with. Poeple don’t like to hear the tough stuff because they may just find out that what they’ve been believing is wrong or be convicted to change their beliefs.

Thank you for sharing your heart!

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Claire August 8, 2008 - 4:52 pm

Oh, Kelly. What a lovely post. Thank you. I see your perspective more and more clearly.

I just want to be very clear – I am not addressing this to you, I think you ‘got’ exactly what I meant – but I’m afraid some comments might insinuate I think you’re “mean” or “harsh” and I don’t mean to imply that about you at all. My objection was just that I thought we were losing sight of the good, and forgetting that while one evil voice in a thousand is NOT forgivable, and NOT defendable, there is much heart to be taken in the 999 voices that still stand for good. That was the message I needed to hear from the Yahoo Answers thing anyway.

But I get the message – I’ll go elsewhere for encouragement.

One tiny word though – even if encouragement is not the gift you feel most blessed with, it’s absolutely something that everyone can work on. Just don’t sell yourself short. It’s a blessing and you should reach for it – honestly, as Catherine said, you’re better at it than you know. 🙂

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Brenda August 8, 2008 - 5:01 pm

I always have something to think about when I leave here. If I took everything you said as the be-all, end-all law…I would be pretty dumb, don’t you think? But you make us think about the hard stuff–and that’s good.

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Suzanne August 8, 2008 - 8:29 pm

Keep up the good work! I may not agree 100% with every single thing you say, but then, who agrees 100% with anyone? I enjoy your blog and you always give me something to think about. You may feel you don’t have the gift of encouragement, but your blog has been a big source of encouragement to ME.

Sometimes I think the Christian community in general needs to be a little more “in your face.” 🙂

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MN August 8, 2008 - 9:07 pm

It’s ENCOURAGING to me to find someone who is willing to stand firmly for truth.

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Mrs. Lady Sofia August 8, 2008 - 10:26 pm

I can honestly say that because I am new in being “reformed,” (e.g., learning a different way to think about things regarding God’s Word and Christianity), I don’t often agree with the “new ideas.” When I first started coming here, or to similar blogs/websites, I used to be one that would “roll my eyes,” or think the person was being mean or worse yet, “Legalistic.”

Yet, I am slowly learning not to be quick to judge others. God is humbling me by letting me know that I am still “new” in my Christian walk – feeding on the milk and not yet feeding on the meat.

I can also see where you are coming from. I am learning from my readings and research that being a stay at home mom (or wife) who also home schools her children and who looks-up to her husband as the head of the household is not a popular view point for the majority of the world. Therefore, since you are following these ways of the Lord, and you hear a comment or come across something that is contradictory to your beliefs, it’s easy to take the “offensive” stance. We all do it Kelly. It’s not just you hon.

That’s why we constantly, as Christians, need to continue working on our salvation with “fear and trembling” – why we constantly need to continue renewing and refining our thoughts through God’s Word. It’s the “Bond Slave” thing you were talking about in your blog that you posted a few days ago, remember (smiles)?

I really appreciate your heart, and your constant honesty and encouragement that you provide on this blog. I know there are things that I sometimes don’t agree with here, but instead of blurting out something hurtful, I just “hold my tongue” and pray to God about it (smiles) even though it’s hard sometimes.

Just hang-in there sweetie. There are MANY women out here in “Blog Land” that appreciate your convicted un-dying faith to what you believe, and the strength and courage that you have to post topics some would “shy away” from. I know I appreciate you (smiles).

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Word Warrior August 8, 2008 - 11:47 pm

This is a neat place to be…I appreciate all of your understanding.

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These Three Kings August 9, 2008 - 12:13 am

What you are doing reminds me of the story in Isaiah where the LORD asked him to walk around naked..he was kinda afraid if I remember correctly because of what the people around him would say..amazing how we always seem judgmental, and proud when we TRY to proclaim the TRUTH of the sciptures

I know its hard to post what you do, but I am GREATLY ENCOURAGED by your OBEDIENCE..very rarely do I find believers that will speak loudly about these things..mostly I hear believers speak loud about the very things we see scriptures speak against..wow…

sad to see, but this is A RADICAL thing you are doing, because we have gone so far away from the truth..continue to stay humble! I understand and the LORD using it all for HIS GLORY..even the parts you may feel are not as gentle 🙂

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Kim M. August 9, 2008 - 12:21 pm

I appreciate you and I hope you keep standing firm whether people agree with you or not.

Proverbs says that those who are teachable are wise. I want to be teachable!!!

Kelly, if you are begging the Lord for wisdom as you post and we as readers are begging the Lord for wisdom as we read, then we are all doing what is right.

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

I am not calling anyone here fools, please don’t think that but challenging each one to cherish wisdom and instruction. If Kelly would happen to be wrong then the Lord will show her if she is seeking wisdom.

I challenge every reader to read the first chapter of Proverbs (actually the whole book!) and *BEG* the Lord for wisdom. If you beg for wisdom, the Lord will not fail you.

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Lindsay August 9, 2008 - 9:21 pm

Kelly, I have never commented before but wanted to tell you that I, as a young mother of three small children who is trying to be the mother that God tells me to be in His Word, appreciate your writing so much.

I have never found you judgmental at all – in fact, I always leave your blog feeling encouraged.

Thank you for somehow finding the time to share what God puts on your heart. 🙂

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Word Warrior August 9, 2008 - 11:13 pm

*Big smiles*

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Michelle August 10, 2008 - 9:07 am

I don’t think you’re negative at all – but that’s me. I like hearing about your opinions about things going on in the world.

People who think you are negative simply don’t have the spiritual gift of prophecy like you do – may be that’s why I don’t mind. Hubby and I have the gift of prophecy too – often we are seen as the doom and gloom because we go on rants about the atrocities going on among Christians in the world today – but that’s our calling. And yours as well – to be that voice crying out in the wilderness.
Take heart Kelly! I respect you greatly for having the chutzpah to discuss these difficult issues here!

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Julie August 10, 2008 - 11:03 pm

I really, really appreciate your words on this whole blog. You give me words to say to the Christians in my life who are naysayers. Who don’t understand why my husband and I are choosing to raise our family differently than what has become normal in our churches.
I face criticism all the time. I can come here and find hope.
Well, my HOPE is in the Lord and His word.. but you know.
Matthew 5:11, “Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.” and LUKE 15..all of it. 🙂
My prayers are with you!

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