As much as I enjoy thinking out loud on this blog, often I long simply for the thoughts and opinions of others on a certain topic as I think through it myself, having not necessarily come to a solid conclusion on a matter.
And why must I “come to a solid conclusion” on a matter? I don’t know. (Does not everyone feel this need?) I wrestle with thoughts and ideas almost consistently (day and night) until I feel like I’ve wrestled it to the ground and have come to some declarative decision. (I can’t even enjoy a good shower! My children knock on the door….“Mom, who are you talking to?” *blush*)
I’ve thought a lot lately about truth and the Bible. I’ve wondered if we take it far too lightly, not brave enough to want to know what’s really written there. It seems that more and more, as it grates against our natural desires, we find convenient ways of dismissing the instructions, or dismissing its authority all together. Do you sense that? And yet, all our faculties–if we’ll be honest–will attest to its timeless, infallible truth, playing out in the world around us.
The following verses jumped out at me today. What do they mean for us now, in this century, in this day? I wanted to offer the comment section for your thoughts.
What does it mean in our modern times to be “unequally yoked together with unbelievers” and how do we really “come out from among them and be separate” and still display love and compassion for the lost? How practically-speaking are these verses? What do they look like fleshed out?
“14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.
18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.”
26 comments
I have really questioned this myself. In fact, it has been at or near the forefront of my mind for the last several months. I’m afraid I have no good answers for you, but I do think that most of us don’t take this seriously enough. Either we “yoke” ourselves with the world, trying to be as much like them as we can without *actually* sinning, or we separate ourselves morally from them, but our hearts are still just as wicked. I would love to hear others’ thoughts on this as well!
Kelly.
I went through this a while back and posted my thoughts
http://onmysoap-box.blogspot.com/2009/03/so-how-separate-are-we-called-to-be.html (Don’t know why I didn’t transfer this to my new site).
Follow up post with possibly helpful links http://onmysoapbox2.wordpress.com/2009/03/29/the-cult-of-separatism/
Bottom line for me…Hold everything loosely and approach the Lord with open heart and hands. Take one step at a time and listen carefully for direction. “Separation” is a lifelong process as well as a one time deal.
I think I have to work from the simple into the more complex….each of these verses (oh gosh, I need to study more) operates exclusively and interdependently it seems to me, which makes it difficult to put a finger on the answer, doesn’t it?
I tend to gravitate to 17 to pray over, it seems the simplest…not touching the unclean thing, dabbling and flirting with sin, is different I think than reaching out to the unclean that they might be cleansed. I don’t think I need to walk in their shoes, but I am bound to walk along side them. This leads me back to 14, not allowing myself to be tethered or yoked to unbelief or sin, but still holding out my hand, as was done for me. And the rest I’ll have to REALLY pray over, cuz I dunno.
(by the way, I married an unbeliever, who is now saved, so I can say it does matter, and I wouldn’t recommend living that carelessly – BUT I also don’t believe two wrongs make a right and divorce is not an appropriate response if one has a V8 moment and realizes “hey, I’m unequally yoked” after marriage. Had I dismissed the work of the Holy Spirit I would be down one very Godly husband)
I hope I’m not repeating myself, but this reminds me of an interview with a former legislator (from the Netherlands, I think?) and filmmaking partner of Theo Van Gogh (who was killed by Muslim extremeists)- she was asked why she thought Islam was being adopted at such a fast pace and with such a thread of extremeism – her reply was the Allah was the only god who was showing up. Meaning, Christians aren’t in the mission fields like they once were, the outreach isn’t there. We have separated ourselves. I’m not a 5 point Doctrine gal, so this may not be how others see it, but when I hear the words “Christian responsibility”, I take that to mean living the Commission among the unclean, not hidden away from them. Should our behavior be different – absolutely. We can’t all be Mother Teresa, but I don’t think we should lurk in the shadows, either. There’s a certain arrogance to it that doesn’t “feel” right, if that makes sense.
See what happens when you ask for other people’s ideas, they just go on and on… :).
Oh, one other thing.
A few years ago, Craig and I discovered that we had a wrong idea of what “fellowship” is. We had always thought it was something that we did (as in eating together, singing together, etc) But, due to some trying experiences, we realized that godly “fellowship” either exists or does not.
The triune God has fellowship within Himself as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. While the relationship is active, it is also the state in which God exists. As believers, we are being drawn into that eternally pre-existent relationship.
We are not to be yoked to unbelievers because fellowship (unity) of spirit is not just difficult, it is impossible. Our hearts and values are being pulled in different directions and that sort of union will only cause problems and create the need to choose between God’s best or an unhappy alternative. I think the principle can apply to not only spouses but also close confidants and business partners as well (although I think the Lord would have us evaluate the latter two relationships on individual basis because it is sometimes possible a believer could be of good influence rather than the non-believer being a bad one).
Separation begins in the heart, but I do know that many of our former worldly tastes change as we mature in Christ. So, our outward behavior should reflect the work the Spirit is doing in our hearts. Our changed perspective can cause formerly friendly non-Christians to naturally avoid us because it becomes obvious that we have nothing in common. And we should not be chasing after those people in a panic to try to restore those relationships as it is likely WE are the one’s who would have to compromise our beliefs in order to stay together.
For what it’s worth.
It make take me this year and the next to find a concise answer to this. In fact, I wouldn’t be shocked at all if my ideas change completely by the time I’m done putting my thoughts out here.
This is one of those issues that constantly plagues me. I am the only believer in my immediate family and many of my closest friends from my childhood are also unbelievers. It is SO hard to love these people with all my heart and not be able to shake them and ask why they ignore the God who loves them. It’s more painful than I can say to listen to the people I love most speak ill of Christ. The lesson for me has been to understand that love and fellowship are very different things. Love can exist without biblical fellowship, but biblical fellowship cannot exist without love. I have begun to love my family in the way that God asks of me, but when it comes down to who I share my prayer requests with and admit my doubts to, I have a trusted Christian friend who supports me and won’t take my doubts as another reason to not believe.
For me, the bottom line is that we become most like those we spend the most time with and share most of our heart with. As Christians we are called to be in this world and not of it. Pulling out of the world has never been an effective way for me to be different and let my light shine. It’s when I take the chance to do something radically different from the patterns of the world (be it in the way I dress, the language I use, or my attitude toward my family) and unashamedly sign Jesus’s name by it that notice is taken.
For me, to be yoked is to allow someone to be an influence. If there is someone in my life who is not living entirely sold-out for Christ, I go into my relationship with them prayed up so that I can love them without reservation and yet always remember that GOD is the authority in my life and that’s that.
I feel like I’ve totally rambled, but I hope that at the very least I’ve made sense.
I thought I was the only one talking out loud!! This is the area where I most argue back and forth in my mind…for years. Just when I come to a conclusion on it, my mind is changed. I woke this morning to thoughts of the woman who kept and hid the foreign idol and then buried it in the tent and sat on it to keep it from being found. Am I like this in not seperating myself , thinking these are small things ( but have I made them idols) that don’t really matter ,and the big things, well, God will forgive me when he sees how bad I feel (and I do). Gee what a mess.
I can tell you that coming off of a Thanksgiving with unsaved relatives who stayed in my home for 3 days, it is exhausting spiritually. I don’t know what that means, exactly, regarding fellowship, but I can tell you that I *feel* that I absolutely could not be around them all the time because I felt battle weary by the second day.
We truly tried to be the hands and feet of Christ while they were here and we used every opportunity that was presented to us to speak of the hope that is within us. But like I said, it is exhausting and I will confess, I was ready for them to go last night so that I could get back to my life with my family and our fellowship of believers.
I’m looking forward to what others have to say on this. It’s very timely, indeed!
Being separate from the world is tricky. I bet if every christian was asked what it meant, practically speaking, you would get as many different answers as there are christians. The Amish and Mennonite communities have obviously got a view that is at one end of a very long spectrum. I suppose, in a way, there will always be grey areas.
I think it starts with our heart attitude. Look at Daniel and his friends. They were placed, in the providence of God, into a very ungodly situation. They would never have chosen that situation for themselves, but God used it to test them, and refine them.
I think as christians living in very ungodly western societies in the 21st century, we are in a similar situation. I don’t think we should withdraw from society like the Amish do. I think we can be separate, and demonstrate our distinctiveness as christians, whilst still living in an ungodly society. In fact, if you think about it, living as a christian amongst ungodliness can actually demonstrate to unbelievers the holiness and goodness of God.
Having said that, practically speaking, we have to demonstrate wisdom in how far we go in living in the world. One could argue that many people, out of necessity, need to work, for example, in a business or institution that isn’t christian. I don’t think that is wrong – look at Paul’s advice to christian slaves owned by ungodly masters. But there is always a line – a christian man who works in a non-christian company should say no to going out to a lap-dancing club with his workmates.
I suppose as christians we have to ask ourselves whether going somewhere, or choosing a particular situation will 1. cause us to sin 2. cause others to sin/stumble other 3. be beneficial to us and others spiritually. If the answer to 1 and 2 is yes, and the answer to 3 is no, then the chances are that whatever it is we are considering is something we should be separate from. I knew christians at University who would justify going to all sorts of unsavoury places with non-christian friends because it would be an opportunity to witness to these friends, and build friendhsips with non-christians in order to witness. But we can’t witness to an unbeliever about a holy God and human sinfulness when we are joining in or going to places where sinfulness is all-pervading.
And following on from what Gayle has said – I often experience the same thing being with friends and family who aren’t believers. It is exhausting, and sometimes disheartening – but also, I always come away feeling so grateful to the Lord for saving me, and also very very grateful for believing friends and family. I suppose the key is to maintain fellowship with believers, and spend time with the Lord – he will sustain us in an ungodly world if we feed on him.
I too, have put a great deal of thought into this topic recently. The big question for me is How are we to be different from the world? This is my thought process. Jesus said,
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:30-31 (NIV)
and,
15 “If you love Me, keep[4]My commandments.
John 14:15 (NKJV)
These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, promised you.
Deut 6:1-3 (NIV)
In the Deuteronomy passage, God was talking to the Israelites, the inheritors of the promises to Abraham. Because of Jesus, we have been grafted in and are also part of this inheritance. The command to obey God’s commands is for all believers. Therefore, if we want to truly be different than the world, we need to first know and understand (study) God’s commands and then apply them to our lives. We do not do this for salvation,for salvation only comes through Christ, but because we love God.
God gave us these commands to protect us: to keep us healthy and safe. I believe he also gave us these commands so that we could live differently than the world. Will anyone of us do this perfectly? No, not in our sinfulness, but I do believe, when we keep our focus on God, when we are loving God and our neighbors, and are diligently working to keep His commands, we will be different than the world. We will be witnessing with our actions (not saying we should not also witness with our words).
It is good to be challenged to know and articulate what one believes!
The apostle Paul often said for the believers he was discipling to emulate him just as he emulated Christ. One of your other readers already touched on the fact that we are shaped most by those people or things we spend the most time around. We are supposed to “guard our hearts and minds”.
I think that going back to John 17 is helpful. In verses 6-19, Jesus prays for his disciples. verse 11- “I am no longer in the world; and yet they themselves are in the world, and I come to You. Holy Father, keep them in Your name, the name which you hae given Me, that they may be one even as We are.” Then verse 16-18, “They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sactify them in the truth; Your word is truth. As you sent Me into the world, I have sent them into the world.” And in verses 20-26 Jesus prays for future believers… I think this goes back to the whole importance of spending time in the fold (John 10)… spending time learning the word; feeding on truth, allowing God to conform us into Christ’s image.
Why did Jesus send us into the world? To bring the world to Him, the shepherd. (The church is supposed to changing the community, not the other way around.) When Paul was writing the new testament churches, telling them to emulate him as he emulated Christ, they did not have the whole bible with Christ’s example as we do. The world is not watching the Good Shepherd’s feet and listening to His voice as the church is, or at least should be. We are supposed to be “Jesus with skin on”~His image bearers, bringing His light and love to the world. Jesus spent time with sinners loving them with the truth, not tolerating their sin (but the lie of tolerance in our society is a whole other page in itself) We should not seek to fill our emotional and physical needs with relationships in the world. Those needs are to be met by God through time with Him and other believers. That is where we draw our energy and grow. While in the world, we are emissaries only, seeking to meet THEIR needs through God’s love in us. Jesus summed it up in His prayer for future believers… “so that the world may know that You send Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me.” John 17: 23 and “I have made Your name known to them, and will make it known, so that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them.” John 17:26
Hi~ Last week when my unsaved parents came over,they were asking me if we (my family)were going to stay for my sister’s reception..(because they are not christians and they were going to be dancing to wordly music..)telling me about why were we so exxagerated,and I answered back with several verses from the bible,but I always feel they are attacking me,but I know ‘who’ is attacking,I told them we can’t serve two masters,and if ‘just a little (fill in the blank)won’t hurt, then why even be a christian , we are to make a diference in ALL aspects,we are either hot or cold,for we know what will happen if we choose to be warm….
–noun 1. a device for joining together a pair of draft animals, esp. oxen, usually consisting of a crosspiece with two bow-shaped pieces, each enclosing the head of an animal. Compare harness (def. 1).
2. a pair of draft animals fastened together by a yoke: five yoke of oxen.
3. something resembling a yoke or a bow of a yoke in form or use.
4. a frame fitting the neck and shoulders of a person, for carrying a pair of buckets or the like, one at each end.
5. an agency of oppression, subjection, servitude, etc.
6. an emblem or symbol of subjection, servitude, slavery, etc., as an archway under which prisoners of war were compelled to pass by the ancient Romans and others.
7. something that couples or binds together; a bond or tie.
8. Machinery. a viselike piece gripping two parts firmly together.
9. Also called fork. a forklike termination for a rod or shaft, inside which another part is secured.
10. a fitting for the neck of a draft animal for suspending the tongue of a cart, carriage, etc., from a harness.
11. a crosshead attached to the upper piston of an opposed-piston engine with rods to transmit power to the crankshaft.
12. (in an airplane) a double handle, somewhat like a steering wheel in form, by which the elevators are controlled.
13. Nautical. a crossbar on the head of the rudder of a small boat, having lines or chains attached to the ends so as to permit the steering of the boat from forward.
14. spreader beam.
15. a shaped piece in a garment, fitted about or below the neck and shoulders or about the hips, from which the rest of the garment hangs.
16. a horizontal piece forming the top of a window frame.
17. a Y-shaped piece connecting branch pipes with a main soil pipe.
18. Television. an electromagnetic assembly placed around the neck of a cathode-ray tube to produce and control the scanning motion of electron beams inside the tube.
19. British Dialect. (esp. in Kent) a. the time during which a plowman and team work without stopping; a period of plowing.
b. a measure or area of land equal to over 50 but less than 60 acres.
20. a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter Y.
–verb (used with object) 21. to put a yoke on; join or couple by means of a yoke.
22. to attach (a draft animal) to a plow or vehicle: to yoke oxen.
23. to harness a draft animal to (a plow or vehicle): to yoke a wagon.
24. to join, couple, link, or unite.
25. Obsolete. to bring into subjection or servitude.
–verb (used without object) 26. to be or become joined, linked, or united.
For me, I *can* sit there and not be convinced of an answer, because I have learned that I cant force one anyway. There are many biblical and spiritual truths I am not conclusive on. Part of accepting that, for me, is an act of faith.
Being yoked, IMO, means in a way even being dependent, or united with. if 2 yoked oxen have different masters, or walk to a different beat, ‘slipping up’ will occur. IMO yoking is a very bonded or close knitted relationship. When you are yoked with your sister or brother oxen next to you, they listen to their master, as you simutaneously try to listen to yours. They will stop when you want to move forward. They will move forward, when you need to take a detour. It gets messy. You do not have the same destinations, or goals. You both hear each others masters in the background…because you are often right next to each other. You get confused, as a result of this, even listening to *their* master when you think you are trying to obey your own. Subsequently, you dont get very far, and even get ‘hurt’ as a result of walking to the beat of two different drums. When you walk differently, or go two different speeds, it just doesnt flow well…..
I can go out with unbelieving friends of mine, but not be yoked with them. I didnt used to be able to do that, when I was like 22 and first saved. I can be around ungodliness now and not cave. To an extent. It all depends…..men must work in situations that bring about problems, but each one must decide what is too much for him to reasonably stand against on an almost daily level. I know if I spent everyday with a close friend who was an unbeliever, it might get too much for me (and that is about *me*, not the unbelieving!). I am not immersed in relationships with unbelievers. I dont find unbelievers to be in general that bad of an influence on my life, and have learned quite a bit of humbling exercises by allowing msyelf to be around them, and respect their views and spirituality, just as they respect mine.
I’ve have so enjoyed reading your many thoughts on this subject. Today has been one of reflection and thinking about many things related. I have some other topics related to this one rolling around in my head that seem to all be bottle-necking into a common problem. I hope to write on that in the next day or two.
Keep these comments coming though, I’m using them as springboards for thought. Lovin’ it.
Cottage Child, you make some excellent points!
Gabby, I’d suggest that next time a situation like your sister’s reception comes up, you pray with an open heart about God’s will for you in that particular situation. If your sister would be hurt by your absence, could it be that your attending such a function would be a way of showing your love, and by extension, God’s love (since your family knows Who you love and Who you stand for)? You wouldn’t have to dance if you feel it’s not right.
As mature Christian adults, shouldn’t we be spiritually strong enough to be able to withstand temptations if they come in the line of doing something God might want us to do for someone else’s sake?
Didn’t Jesus do that for us?
Kelly, have you read H. Richard Niebuhr’s book Christ and Culture?
I haven’t read it since college, but it still influences the way I think about these issues. It sets up five different paradigms that Christians have used over the centuries in trying to understand these issues.
Joanna,
No, I haven’t heard of that–I may have to order it!
To Tricia: Thank you .I know what y ou are saying,she is getting married here in our house,and I am attending the reception, my family knows where we stand ,they were asking me if i was going to the reception in an attacking way when I had not even said anything,plus I need to help serve and with anything else they need help with~
This is a question I struggle with too. I think as an oxen is yoked, they are bound to do what the other does. In my daughter’s softball team, there are many non-believers. We talk, share stories and enjoy each others company while there. Because I have not removed myself, I witness non-stop in words and in service. I am not, however, in fellowship with them. We are not like minded, I do not turn to them for advice nor share any major problems with them. They however do trust me to help them and their children and share their problems with me. I can be Christ to them because He strengthens me. I stand out among them…not because I am great, but because God is great in me. I want to be Hs hands and feet. And He convicts me to the core when I am not. I would hate to remove myself because I was afraid of getting soiled, how else would they know how awesome God is unless someone talks about Him with love, adoration and respect and then acts out on it? I guess that is where I stand…LOL
I agree with the points regarding true spiritual fellowship – it cannot exist between unbelievers and believers. That certainly doesn’t mean they can’t be good to each other, nor should it be used as an exucuse to not serve unbelievers (not that anyone here has suggested that).
I would be careful to consider that it often does not exist between believers, either….we like coffee and donuts after 9 oclock service, but that’s not it. Fellowship requires cultivation and care in order to transcend the hi, how are you, God is good Sunday morning schmooze. It requires really KNOWING each other, which in my experience is a difficult thing for Christians to do – judgement often supercedes compassion when the needy are right up close (speaking for myself, with humility, here). My need for true fellowship is often veiled by my embarassment, which I often call privacy.
[…] The last post on being separate from the world–living a life that looks different as a believer–has implications here; it is harder and harder to recognize a person, a family or a church that reflects the purity of the Bride of Christ and demonstrates the power of His redemptive work. […]
Cottage Child,
You make some excellent points!
We ARE responsible to cultivate our relationship–both with God and with His family.
1 John warns repeatedly that we cannot say “I love God” while being hateful (or indifferent) to our brother. Jesus instructed us to even love our enemies!
My dad often has expressed his frustration about the Sunday morning “Hi how are you” clubs that many of us have dubbed “going to church”. It is pretty disgusting how we so often focus heavily on “order of service”, “uplifting songs”, “programs”, and “obeying” a given set of rules (church bylaws, The “Big Ten”, Sermon on the Mount, take your pick) while ignoring the direct order that Jesus gave to LOVE one another as Christ has loved each of us.
It isn’t that we ought to ignore the need to have “good theology”, but that good theology should be complemented by lives that are genuinely changed from having a life-giving encounter with Life Himself! If not, then we are in danger of being nothing more than noise makers as per 1 Corinthians 13.
Christ’s body (the Church) is not meant to be a museum where we all display how “perfect” we have become as Christians. Nor is it to be a lecture hall to constantly remind us of how unworthy we are to receive His attention. That is an important foundation, but we cannot get stuck there.
Christ’s church is a war-zone, front battle line hospital that is constantly sending out scouts who will bring to the Master Physician those who are blinded, maimed and bleeding to death. And we, as His hands and feet, are to minister healing Truth with His loving care so that others may be introduced to the Life He offers.
It is so frustrating to me that we as a group will become so stuck in stuff like “how separate are we to be?” because if we really know the Lord and have a vibrant, living relationship with Him, we have His springs of pure, Living water overflowing out of us, and the stink of this world cannot stick even as we dive into the filth to help pull others out of the sewage.
The Christian walk of faith is not about physical rules to “not taste, not handle, not touch”. It is about a heart attitude of humble obedience to constantly rely on our Father to show us what is right in ANY given circumstance. The only way that can happen is when we strive to know Him with all of our hearts.
He’s Daddy. He wants us to come to HIM and rest our souls in HIM and He has given us the Scriptures as a means by which we can meet with HIM!
Kelly L., I think you make excellent points. I agree.
Those are some excellent questions. I need some time to ponder them.
Rushdooney pointed out in his World History that while the promised land sounds pretty pastoral to us, the Israelites were in the middle of the world’s intersection. God told them not to marry unbelievers, not to let non-believers sell on the Sabbath and the World would see what great and wise laws they had (and lived by).
When I was convicted of big life changes I found people whose life appeared to be working to me and I asked them. No one put their ideas in my face (including great Mennonite friends).
I was recently rattled by reading Nehemiah. He was more angry with his fellow city builders for charging interest on mortgages than taking money from the government treasury. I would have put taking a hand out as a much worse example than taking out a mortgage.