Category:

pregnancy/birth control

It’s Not a Tumor

by Kelly Crawford May 8, 2007

written by Kelly Crawford

“I was so happy the day my children left the house…they couldn’t leave soon enough…and when they had children and complained to me about how bad their children were, I just laughed and said ‘Good’…pay-back is sweet!”

Try to guess where I heard these comments (and many more astonishing such words)? From a Christian lady who has been raised in the church and is also married to a Christian man raised in a Christian home. Words cannot describe my speechless horror as I sat and listened, in the company of one of my children, no less, at this woman’s ranting and hatred of her very own children! It gets worse…her daughter was barren for a number of years. After all the fertility treatments failed, the Lord gave her not one, but two–twin children. I was thrilled beyond words. Her mother’s reply? “Oh Lord, I’m moving far away.”

Do these sentiments echo a Biblical perspective of children? Does that tell you something about the lack of the church’s teaching on the blessing of children? I believe with all my heart, that we, as a Christian community, will be judged for such mistreatment of God’s most precious gift, unless we embrace the truth of His Word, and start living what we say we believe. What an absolute heresy, to identify yourself as a child of the King, and then speak of “His heritage” as if it were as bothersome as a tumor?

May we continue to not only meditate ourselves, on what Scripture says about children, but may we be bold enough to share, at every opportunity, with the world (and especially other believers), the privilege and blessing of children.

“As arrows are in the hand of a mighty warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.”

May 8, 2007 7 comments

Crying Out for More Children?

by Kelly Crawford April 26, 2007

written by Kelly Crawford

As I swooned with dizziness and nausea from my sixth pregnancy, my 6-year old son, in his childish excitement, asked, “Mommy, can you have twins? Because I can’t decide if I want a girl or a boy, so I just want both.” Able to manage a chuckle, I secretly thought, “What would I do with twins?” With five children between the ages of 11 and 10 months, I was in ready agreement with the statement I most often hear…“Boy, you’ve got your hands full!” And yet amid the nausea and overwhelming thoughts of even the slightest possibility of twins, the Lord gave me such a sweet revelation.

The Christian community is so wrapped up in “evangelizing” the nations. Tracts, revivals, youth missions, foreign missions, visitation teams, the list keeps going of all the tactics we are using to reach a nation for Christ. And I do not dare submit that any of those tactics are wrong or useless. However, I think they have become a hindrance to the primary method God intended to disciple the nations. We have completely missed the simplest, the most natural of all methods—raising godly children.

Ironically, we fell hook, line and sinker for Satan’s ploy: “children are a hindrance.” He convinced us, very subtly, that we can’t effectively minister, or effectively “evangelize” through a career if we have a house full of children. Ironic, indeed, for children are God’s primary tool for evangelism!

If we only understood that children aren’t given to us just to fulfill some need we have, or to simply make us happy or even just to replace ourselves. God gives us what He calls “His heritage.” They are for His purpose in His Kingdom.

Back to God’s evangelical design….as I contemplated twins, I was prompted to think about the ability of one couple to raise up a godly generation. So I did some math. The following is the astonishing conclusion I found:

If one couple has two children, and all of the following children have two children, in five generations, there will be 32 children.

If one couple has eight children, and all of the following children have eight children, in five generations, there will be 7,776 children! (Obviously God sometimes closes the womb of a Christian woman. However, through her spiritual children or adoption, she can equally glory in the mathematics of God’s economy.)

Provided that the couples have raised their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, that is more evangelizing than any church is capable of! That is 7,776 voters for President, laws, etc. That is 7,776 children parenting yet another generation where the numbers become astronomical. That is 7,776 children who are growing up to be godly leaders of this nation, to make up the moral fabric of society, to be America. And as a reminder, that is just one family!!!

So as I contemplated God’s design, fully confident in our conviction to allow the Lord to control our family size, I smiled at the thought of twins. In fact, I whispered a quiet prayer…”Lord, give me more children, more soldiers for Christ, and may I be faithful to turn their hearts toward You!”

April 26, 2007 17 comments

motherhood/family/parenting pregnancy/birth control

The Importance of How We Speak About Children

by Kelly Crawford April 25, 2007

written by Kelly Crawford

Any of you who have more than three (and sometimes more than two) children, have been met with a variety of responses from other people. Some responses are positive and encouraging; some are not. Some are spoken without any thought, and therefore it is easy to “let it go”. But overall, I believe the responses, said in a joking manner or not, reveal our heart toward the issue of children.

As I have stated before, I’m not out to rid the world of all birth-control users. I simply want to make Christians aware of their false thinking toward children. (We expect an anti-child philosophy from the world…but Christians have biblical teaching otherwise.)

For example: If I were to walk up to someone at Wal-Mart (that’s where we get the most comments!) and say, “guess what…I just inherited 3 millions dollars from my grandfather’s estate. Can you believe it?” And then someone answered me and said, “Oh, bless your heart!” What does that mean? Does that mean they are happy for me, and recognize that my inheritance is a blessing, a good thing? Or what if they answered me and said, “Whew…I’m glad it’s you and not me”. Of course no one would ever say those things, because everyone agrees that money is something to be desired. (And isn’t it interesting, that in the Bible, money is often referred to as a curse, but children are always a blessing.) We are so backwards!

In light of that illustration, it is clear that many people do not believe that children are something to be desired. Those comments express an aversion to children as something to be avoided. We (speaking generally) believe children are a curse! God believes children are a blessing. But if we bear the name of Christ, shouldn’t we desire to have His heart toward everything????

This is the reason that negative comments from believers upset me so much. It’s not that you have chosen to limit your family size that bothers me; it’s that you have completely ignored the teaching of Scripture concerning children, and persecute those of us who share God’s heart toward them. My heart is crushed each time a child of God speaks of my children as curses (especially when they comment in front of them). I stand there thinking, “do you even know what the Scripture says about children? Or is it that you don’t care?” Have we decided that it’s OK to adopt our own belief system, while treating the Holy Word as an outdated, inapplicable book? If God says “children are a gift from the Lord…the fruit of the womb is His REWARD”, shouldn’t we be echoing that to each other?

It is my belief that when a Christian shares the world’s philosophy about children (that they are anything but a blessing), he stands in serious danger of disobeying the Scripture’s mandate to “be in the world but not of the world”. Show me from Scripture, where a believer has the authority to respond to the mother of many children with anti-children remarks?

Let’s renew our minds! If we encounter a mother with a large family, we should be thrilled! Because as brothers and sisters in Christ, we should see those little children as arrows for the Kingdom. They are on “our side”! Let’s encourage her! Let’s rally behind her as she devotes her life to training up these people to love the Lord! (Just as we encourage those in ministry, who are missionaries, etc.)

It’s so interesting (and tragic) to think how Satan works: he has somehow taken what is natural and normal, turned it completely around and made it odd and peculiar. Think of it!

(Inevitably, someone will write in and ask about the indigent mothers who are having lots of children and abusing them…that subject is a different one entirely, and not related to this one.)

April 25, 2007 8 comments

abortion pregnancy/birth control

Does God See a Life Before Conception?

by Kelly Crawford April 24, 2007

written by Kelly Crawford

One of the major arguments for the common practice of birth control among believers who are opposed to abortion is that preventing a life that does not yet exist is completely different than taking one. And scientifically speaking, I agree. In this short post, I just wanted to throw out a thought for consideration. I would be curious about your thoughts as well.

Consider this:

In Hebrews 7, a passage about receiving tithes, verses 9 & 10 read:

“Even Levi, who receives tithes, paid tithes through Abraham, so to speak, for he was still in the loins of his father when Melchizedek met him.”

Still in the loins of his father? The Bible is speaking about a specific man, called by name, referring to a specific act being performed, while this man is still contained in his father’s body! He’s not even a thought in the human world yet! I don’t know about you, but that speaks volumes to me about God’s order of the universe and His plans for us before we are even thought about! What if Levi’s parents had decided that they couldn’t “afford” another child? Would they have been thwarting the entire history of mankind? You could apply that thought to anyone who has been born…much like my recent post reflecting on all the influential people of history who were born to large families. Hmmmm…..Is this really an area we have been given authority to control?

April 24, 2007 5 comments

pregnancy/birth control

Whose Line is it Anyway?

by Kelly Crawford April 16, 2007

written by Kelly Crawford

One of my readers accused me of using my daughter’s essay to “promote my own personal gospel of no-birth-control”. I thought it was a pretty strong accusation, and worthy of its own post.

While part of her comment is correct–this blog is a place of “promotion” if you will, it is certainly not “my own personal gospel” I am promoting. And even though she specifically asked me to “spare her of the Bible verses”, I am afraid I would have little to talk about if not for the authority of Scripture on which I stand.

I did not say:

“Children are a blessing…”
“Happy is the man whose quiver is full of them…”
“His wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the center of the house, and his children live olive plants around the table…”
“And why did I make them (man and woman) one? Because I desire godly offspring…”
“He will love thee, and bless thee, and multiply thee: He will also bless the fruit of thy womb.”
“It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves.”
“All the days were written for me before as yet there were none of them.”

This is THE gospel, not mine.

If you choose to use birth control, I DO NOT stand in judgement of you…for that is not my job. This blog is meant exclusively to bring light to the idea that GOD LOVES GIVING US CHILDREN–sometimes lots of them! For those of us who do have this conviction, it is tiring, and dreadfully heart-breaking, to receive negative comment after another from the very people who call themselves children of God, while they ignore everything He says about children. It’s not about “proving that you birth-control people are wrong”, it’s about begging the people of God to share His heart toward children, rejoicing with us, not sneering at us (and making comments that hurt our children’s feelings!). Naturally, in trying to express this notion, I have to oppose the current vein of our culture’s thinking, and incidentally, make some people mad. However, it is no new gospel, nor my own made up idea, that it is as natural as breathing to have lots of children.

There are many points on which one may have a valid argument; that this is all my own personal gospel is not one of them.

April 16, 2007 10 comments

abortion motherhood/family/parenting pregnancy/birth control

The Origin of Birth Control: The Evil Margaret Sanger

by Kelly Crawford March 12, 2007

written by Kelly Crawford

When the Lord first began to work in my heart about His plan for families, and having children, my husband and I did a lot of reading and research before we came to a final decision. We thought it would be logical to see where the practice of birth control originated, what its implications on society were, etc. What we found was shocking. The “mother of women’s freedom” is often said to be Margaret Sanger. She had a “Hitler mentality”, believing it her duty to help rid the world of the lesser humans, and allow women to experience a sexual revolution, free from the fear of pregnancy, and the horrors of motherhood. She began what is now known as Planned Parenthood. Below is just a very small commentary on her “Eugenic Legacy”. It is a mind under the control of Satan.

“Those who do not care for such a bourgeois life (by that she means a life where a woman was ‘free’ to pursue her own interests and amusements without the ‘burden’ of children), who rather pursue true cultivation in the rhythms of a life of raising children, are by implication unfit.” (Author’s note: Sanger’s vision of the life of mothers in large working-class families makes quite clear that she thought that large families make a woman unfit:)

Instead, such a mother is tired, nervous, irritated and ill-tempered; a determent, often, instead of a help to her children. Motherhood becomes a disaster and childhood a tragedy…. She is a breeding machine and a drudge-she is not an asset but a liability to her neighborhood, to her class, to society. She can be nothing as long as she is denied means of limiting her family.

Thought-provoking question of the day: Can a thing, born out of such an evil intent, evolve into a neutral entity?

March 12, 2007 12 comments

pregnancy/birth control

God Provides….Again!

by Kelly Crawford March 7, 2007

written by Kelly Crawford

Last week, I took our oldest child to the School of Dentistry for an orthodonist appointment. As anyone who has put braces on a child knows, it’s not cheap. And even though we’re paying a reduced rate because it is a school, it is still quite a chunk of money. Last visit they discovered that she needed some minor work done before the braces could be put on…great…another expense.

As I waited in the waiting room, a young student who had done the work came out to greet me. “Hi, Mrs. Crawford. I was wondering if you had any dental insurance?” “No we don’t”, I replied. “I’m not going to charge you for the work I did”, he said. “Wow, thank you so much! I really appreciate that!” He smiled and before he turned to walk away, he said…”I am the oldest of five, I understand.” Apparently through the conversations with my daughter, he discovered that we were expecting our seventh baby. In that moment, the Lord confirmed to me, again, that He will supply all our needs according to His riches in glory. How little our faith when we don’t remember that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills!

We are often met with comments about not being able to afford more children, some directed at us, and sometimes the speaker referring to his own family. Every time I hear children and affordability in the same sentence, I cringe at the insult it must be to the God of the universe. To think that our sovereign Lord would give us the gift of children, the godly seed, His own inheritance, and then just turn His back on us while we starve! I don’t serve a God like that. Praise God for His infinite provisions!

March 7, 2007 8 comments

large families pregnancy/birth control

Doesn’t God Give Us Wisdom? Thoughts on Children & Birth Control

by Kelly Crawford February 17, 2007

written by Kelly Crawford

“Doesn’t God give us the wisdom to decide how many children we should have? I mean, after all, we have to consider whether we can afford them, or how our emotional stress level is, etc. ” This is a common theory among Christians, and used to be my own theory regarding birth control. It is a multi-faceted debate, with many things to consider. But I’m going to try to keep it simple.

Scripture makes it clear that God gives wisdom “liberally to those who ask.” Let’s start there–how many couples TRULY come before the Lord in the issue of child-bearing asking God for wisdom to discern His will? Most often, we simply follow the wisdom of the world, which is no wisdom at all, and contrary to godly wisdom. Proverbs urges us to “seek wisdom like a treasure”, and “sell all that you have in exchange for wisdom.” There again, the indications are that we are not simply born with wisdom; we are given it from God when we seek it diligently.

Next point: how can we possibly make decisions based on our current circumstances when we have no idea how those circumstances are going to change? For example, a couple decides that they cannot “afford” more children (we’ll discuss what that really means in a sec). They can no more foresee what they can’t afford than what they can. Flip it around…they decide they CAN “afford” children. Three years later, hubby gets injured and is no longer able to work. Finances have just drastically changed. Now, they can’t afford children, because they have based their assumptions of affordability on the security of a job, instead of the faithfulness of their Heavenly Father. We cannot know what lies just ahead. God does. That’s why He’s so good at making life-changing decisions!

Another point on affordability: A Christian cannot believe that God gives life, and then desserts it. If He gives children, He promises to take care of them–of us. Remember his light scolding: “How much more valuable are you than the sparrows?” He is saying, “Look, I created the heavens and the earth, parted the Red Sea, raised people from the dead, I suspend the stars and clouds in the sky—I think I can handle a few bills.” We ought to be ashamed in our lack of exercise in faith!

Yet another point on “affording” children: What does that mean anyway? Most people mean to say rather, “If I had more than one or two, I couldn’t eat out every other night, I couldn’t outfit them all in Calvin Klein, or cell phones, or cars,…gee, I might have to reduce my standard of living a little bit–nah, I’ll just take one or two, thank you.” Thousands of mighty men and women grew up completely destitute of worldly goods. Having things, and even doing things STILL does not make one a better or happier person. And despite the evidence that it actually tends to have the opposite effect, we carry on with our selfish, lucrative lifestyles, keeping up with the Joneses. I think it was Tom Brokaw who wrote a book about “the most responsible generation.” And do you know which generation it was? The children who grew up during the Depression. Why do we think that spoiling our children is good for them? Satan is very clever indeed!

“I know me, and I don’t have the patience for more than one.” That may be true. And it may be true because you have not allowed the Lord to shape your character through the process of motherhood. Avoiding things that cause us discomfort is not the way we become saints of God. Obedience to Him, and then letting his grace be sufficient as he molds our spirits is the way.

Does God give us wisdom to decide how many children we should have? I say no. We have to seek it.

February 17, 2007 134 comments

large families pregnancy/birth control

Leave the Big Stuff up to God

by Kelly Crawford February 13, 2007

written by Kelly Crawford

“I was an accident.” Have you ever heard someone say that? Oh, it just sends pains through my stomach to hear it. Of course the speaker is referring to the fact that his parents didn’t “plan” for his birth, or didn’t expect it, for whatever reason. And worse than hearing someone say it of themselves, I’ve even heard parents say it referring to their own child!

Life is no accident. Never. In the worst of circumstances–rape, incest, adultery, fornication–the life itself, even born out of every possible evil, is never an accident. We are so smug to think that WE create life. Isn’t that really the underlying problem? If we think we create children, then it is OK to prevent them. Either way, it’s our decision.

But, we do NOT create life, and therefore to purposely prevent it is like, well, did you ever see the movie “Back to the Future” where the characters were able to manipulate circumstances in order to change the future? That’s what I think of when I think of preventing children. If you could lunge into the future, and look at things if we let God control life, it would be so vastly different than it is now.

Or, pick up an old photograph–let’s say one of all the men who were at the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Then imagine taking birth control and its accompanying philosophy of children back to that era. Now take your eraser and begin rubbing out all the men who would be gone. Scary. Leave the big stuff up to God.

February 13, 2007 4 comments

large families pregnancy/birth control

What is God’s heart concerning children?

by Kelly Crawford February 12, 2007

written by Kelly Crawford

The following are a few of the Scripture references we base our conviction about children on:

“It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves.” Psalm 100:3

“Children are an heritage of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that has his quiver full of them…” Psalm 127:3-5

“…yet she is thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not He make you one?…And why one? That He may seek a godly seed.” Malachi 2:14,15

“Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house; thy children like olive plants round about thy table….” Psalm 128:3

“Be fruitful and multiply…” various places in Scripture

As believers, we desire to have the heart of God; to love what he loves, and hate what he hates. His heart is clearly stated in Scripture regarding children…desire them, receive them, and rejoice in them. It’s the opposite message of our culture. Birth control certainly does not embrace God’s philosophy of children. It certainly does not speak of “olive plants around the table” and fruitfulness and multiplying. Are we friends of God or friends of the world? Our worldviews will be reflected in the life choices we make.

February 12, 2007 12 comments

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