Building Family Relationships: Time & Talking

As I promised in the last post, Cultivating Family Relationships, I wanted to attempt to provide some practical ways we can tie the strings of fellowship in our homes.

Do we even understand how important this is? The modern American family spends enormous time and energy in pursuits like sports, careers, entertainment and education, but often neglect the far more important pursuit of relationships with one another!  Scripture says that we’ll be identified as Christians by our love for each other.

Do they know we are Christians by our love?

Time and Talking.

Hands down, there is NOTHING that will replace this vital aspect of building relationships.  It’s  foundational. Without it, nothing else we do will mean much.  Don’t take for granted that living in the same house will automatically make you close to one another.

I think of Jesus as He discipled his followers.  Lots of time and talking all throughout the day (as in Deuteronomy).

“Nothing in the home life needs to be more carefully watched and more diligently cultivated that the conversation. It should be imbued with the spirit of love. No bitter word should ever be spoken. The language of husband and wife in their intercourse together should always be tender. Anger in word, or even in tone, should never be suffered. Chiding and faultfinding should never be permitted to mar the sacredness of their speech. The warmth and tenderness of their hearts should flow out in every word that they utter to each other. As parents, too, in their intercourse with their children, they should never speak save in words of Christlike gentleness. It is a fatal mistake to suppose that children’s lives can grow up into beauty in an atmosphere of strife…” -JR Miller

Statistics

I shudder to see statistics of television-viewing. (I’m not “anti-tv”, I’m just a realist about what it’s doing to our families.) And if you do the math, both spouses usually go separate ways for the day, children go separate ways, everyone comes home and takes care of responsibilities, then, not only do they veg out in front of the tv, but most families watch different sets in different rooms!

The average family doesn’t even sit down to dinner together at night.  When are they having meaningful conversation, getting to know each other, tying heart strings?

Is it any wonder we don’t see the strong, loving bonds among family members that should be there?  That many husbands and wives become better friends with people at work, and siblings’ “best friends” hardly ever include each other? I urge you to think about how important your family relationships are and be willing to do even what may seem hard in order to nurture them.

It requires a concerted effort to create an atmosphere where conversation thrives.  We have to be deliberate about guarding our time and allowing plenty of room for face to face interaction.  Let’s do what we have to do to make it happen!

Next post:  Helping Siblings Bond