Balancing Your Life: SIMPLIFY

Balancing Your Life: Simplify

It may be a physical simplification needed, or it could be an emotional or mental one.  But the simple life makes for a more balanced life.

Study the areas of your day that seem to be the hardest…what causes the most stress?  Is it a problem in your routine?  Clutter out of hand? Is there one area that causes a recurring headache?  Bring it to your husband and see if he can help you.  Men are problem-solvers and he may surprise you with an easy solution.

Clothes–Clothes are a big problem in our home, due to the sheer numbers. The more we can pare down, the easier for everyone to keep up with them.

We also created a “universal closet” with everyone’s clothes in one place.  Honestly, we’re still working the kinks out of this one, but I think it could be done effectively.

I’ve known women tackle the classic sock problem by buying all the same kind of sock.  This way, you always have the mate.

If anyone has a suggestion for helping children keep up with shoes, I’d love to know it!

Dishes–Some mothers I know have a “cup tray” on the counter to prevent 38 glasses from showing up to be washed.  Everyone has a cup with his name he uses all day.  This little step, and others like them, are simple but effective strategies.

Shoes--Another mom’s shoe solution:  they live on a muddy farm with 13 children.  To cut down on muddy traffic, her husband found a shelf that they put outside the back door. She bought Croc-type shoes for everyone that could be left outside on the shelf where the rain would keep them washed off. They each even had their own color. Brilliant, I thought.

Baths–I knew a mom whose evenings had to be scheduled around her children’s bath time.  Now we are clean people, but our day doesn’t fall apart if we miss a bath.  Theory:  children do not need to bathe every day, except maybe in the summer.  It isn’t even good for skin and hair.  If you have many children, you know that cutting out a bath night here and there could save a lot of time, energy and money. A wipe-down with baby wipes could suffice if it made mom feel better.

Clutter–When we first moved into our house, it was all new and shiny…you know how it is.  And hard as I tried, no one else seemed as interested in keeping their things picked up as I was.  So for a time (I have no idea why I stopped doing this), if an item–shoes, coat, toy, etc. stayed in one place too long, I would just toss it in “the thrift store bag”.  It only takes a few times and they start to care 😉

“Purging” on a weekly, maybe even a daily basis, is the simplest ways to keep clutter at bay.  We keep a “running donation bag” with a constant eye for things that need to be tossed.

Meals–During the busiest seasons of life, meal-planning can be a real challenge.  Here are a few ideas to get you thinking about solutions:

1.  Don’t be afraid to use paper plates.

2.  Don’t be afraid to have cereal for breakfast–a lot.

3.  Schedule a weekly time to sit down and write out meal plans for the week so you’re not standing in the pantry at 5 pm wondering what’s for supper.

4.  Designate a kitchen helper for each night to be an extra pair of hands for you.

5.  Cook double portions when possible and freeze one for a hectic day.

6.  Find and use some great crock-pot recipes.

Toys–I don’t know about your house, but here, our toys reproduce.  A solution I’m getting ready to try (I’m not very organized by nature, so it will be a stretch for me) is tossing the broken toys, then boxing up the rest and rotating them out, storing the toys not being used.  The idea is that not only is there less clutter, but the toys are more fun if they’ve been put up for a while.

Some families have very few toys and expect their children to rely on their imaginations for recreation.  I don’t think that’s such a bad idea.

Homeschooling–I don’t think it’s at all necessary to have a “school room”; we have one and my children still do their seat work at the kitchen table.  It makes sense because I’m closer to them there if they need help.  But I do think it’s important to have one place where all the school resources are kept.  All the children should be responsible for keeping this area neat (cough), and I wish you the best because it’s a real struggle for us.

There is a lot more about it in my ebook Think Outside the Classroom, but I’m a huge advocate of remembering the simplicity of education. There is something to be said about “The 3 R’s”.  Lots of great books, a simple math book and English book, and all else is tucked around that.  We love Rod & Staff for its simplicity, solid instruction and low price.  For moms starting out, I also recommend ACE School of Tomorrow, because it’s so self-directed.

Homeschooling moms are bombarded with choices and pressure from others who appear to be “doing so much more”, but if we can keep our focus, find what works for us and not pay too much attention to the latest bells and whistles, it will be a much more peaceful experience.

In my book, I also challenge moms to not get hung up on timetables. There are obviously things that must be learned chronologically. But history, science, geography, etc. can be learned in any (reasonable) order and there shouldn’t be a pressure to keep them on the same timetable as schooled children.  My homeschooling mantra is, “RELAX”.

We also school year-round to create more flexibility throughout the year if need be (new baby, holidays, stressful seasons, vacations, etc.) Because we “school” so many more days than are required, our days can be more relaxed and we don’t feel as pressured to meet deadlines.

Bible time. I think it’s wonderful if you can get up before everyone else and spend some quiet time in prayer and Scripture.  But, I’ve learned not to let this area become a source of guilt.  I’ve been nursing babies half my married life which often means less sleep.  And even though now I usually am up earlier than the rest, if you can’t be up, enjoy Bible time and prayer with your children after breakfast.  We’ve done this for years and it is a sweet time.  I tell them it is the most important part of our day and though they don’t all just jump up and down about it, I think it will be a time they cherish the rest of their lives.

On a really tight schedule, instead of skipping this important time, consider reading to them during breakfast.  I’d rather cut something else out of our day than this time in God’s Word together.

Telephone/Media.  I might guess that this is the hardest point for stay-at-home moms. We have a social “advantage” our foremothers wouldn’t believe and yet, there is a point when it is no longer an advantage.  Let me say it gently:  Don’t let Facebook control your life. The Internet is SO good and can be SO bad! Purpose to establish some boundaries about when and how often you engage in social media.

The telephone can be even worse.  I’ve mentioned it before, but a wise homeschooling mother said her telephone is not answered before noon.  For some reason, once the phenomenon of people having instant access to your family through a bell became popular, we feel obligated to give them permission to interrupt anything we’re doing. Tame the beast.

Routine/Schedule/”Rhythm”

Whatever your personality, develop one of these for your day.  Some thrive on a rigid schedule; others just need an order for the day, without time restraints.  Either way, it not only keeps order, but a predictable day is very healthy for children.  They thrive with some structure and predictability, yet you can leave room for unexpected happenings and/or exploration.

I personally feel that a schedule *can* be more stressful if you are prone to let it be.  Especially with several children, flexibility in your day’s routine will keep you from feeling like you’re “off”.  We have a rhythm-a general pattern to our day, but I do NOT let unexpected events (which almost have to be a scheduled expectancy) make me feel “behind”.  I just count it as part of normal life.

Simply adjusting our expectations can save a lot of our sanity! Simplify your life!  What are some of your simplification ideas?

See part one in this series – Simplify Your Life: Define “Everything”