Balancing Your Life: Define “Everything”

Balancing Your Life: Define “Everything”

I get a lot of questions about how I “balance everything”.  This is the first of a series about that question.  But before I talk about the practical stuff, it is paramount to understand that all else is contingent on one important fact:

You can only balance “everything” if your “everything” is balanced.

OK that’s catchy, but what I mean is, you can’t actually balance everything. Most of the problem we have with time is that we are trying to juggle too many things.  There are only 24 hours in the day. Unless we pare down our priorities, making our everything doable, no amount of scheduling or time tricks will matter.

Homeschooling moms face a particularly steep challenge in this area. For one, because of the freedom we feel being at home, it seems like we should just be packing in all we can to take advantage of that freedom.  But we end up being enslaved to busyness instead!

Additionally, we feel pressure to raise “super kids” in order to prove wrong the many who think we’ve made the wrong choice by homeschooling.  This can drive a family to overload their schedules with too many extracurricular activities and lose focus of more important things.

Thirdly, some moms feel that others will think them “lazy”; perhaps the need to prove everyone wrong results in an overextension of ourselves and our families.

The first step to finding balance in your life:

1.  Define “everything”.

Again, this is paramount. If you aren’t willing to take this step seriously, there is no point in taking the others.

• Write down priorities–tangible and abstract. Begin with a piece of paper and make two columns with those categories. Ask your husband to tell you what the most important things in your family are to him.

For us, it starts with relationships.  Anything else we do in our lives MUST facilitate and nurture the relationships in our family.  If a certain thing hinders that, it’s not worth doing.  Of course I’m referring to regular activities, not the occasional tending to special needs that will arise.

Most families are over-committed.  There are too many lessons, too many projects, too many ministries, etc.  We have to recognize our seasons of life and not try to fit all into one season, or feel guilty about it.  There will be time later for volunteering as community coordinator.  Try to understand the biblical analogy of the body of Christ and realize you won’t function well as an arm if you are also trying to perform the tasks of a leg.

As you define your everything, make sure any activities, commitments or projects in your “tangible” list do not prevent your priorities in your “abstract” list.

For me, if I’m feeling pressured by too many deadlines or places to go, the first place it interferes is in my attitude toward my children and husband. Stress builds and I find myself speaking harshly, being impatient and rushing what should be an enjoyable rhythm in our day. It interferes in our relationships–our priority. So we guard our time from outside activities VERY carefully.

Once your list is on paper, don’t be afraid to cross some things out and follow through by canceling or rearranging those things in your life.

Can you stagger lessons so you don’t have three in one week?  We alternate piano lessons and do every other week.  It’s cheaper and saves time.

Really question your church/community commitments.  Are you volunteering to fill roles that aren’t yours to fill?  Remember that if you have children at home, they are your full-time ministry.  That doesn’t mean you can’t do outside projects or volunteer work, but just that you need to give an honest look at their time restraints.

Define your everything. Force yourself to look at it on paper and decide that you are going to create margins in your life that will allow you to serve your family to the fullest of your ability.

Check out Large Family Logistics for a wealth of practical information about running a busy household.