I’m writing today at Raising Homemakers...I hope you’ll hop over!
“But when I left my career to come home, I had no idea the depth of my job, as God would show me. Yes, home was a lot more about nurturing people–my children, my husband, and those around me He would finally give me eyes to see and time to help.
But the biggest surprise?”
Read the rest of Dying to be a Homemaker
It’s with a bit of sadness that I must announce “Nurtured by Nature“, our homemade skin product business, is closing, after six years of operation.
The business was really one of the seeds that prompted me to begin this blog so that makes it especially sentimental to me. The Lord has been so gracious as he used our financial despair to spark the idea of selling the products, and then lead me to this incredible, on-line community of women where much bigger things than soap have happened 😉
I am so thankful for the hundreds of faithful customers and for the opportunity the Internet gave me to run this cottage industry.
And…what a blessing my friend, Dana, and her girls have been to me. They have been the hands behind the whole operation for the last four years, diligently and faithfully making our products and shipping them out to you and a lot more behind the scenes to keep it running. A huge THANK YOU to their family for helping us keep NBN alive for these six years.
Love Your Soap
I’m not leaving you without a “replacement recommendation”. (And I don’t get anything for this, except the satisfaction of recommending excellent products to you.)
Several years ago a lady contacted me about advertising her skin product business on my site. She said she had pondered starting the business and read my ebook, “Make & Sell Your Own Skin Products“, and decided to take the leap.
Browsing her products, I instantly knew she had a fabulous thing. (I don’t think my book had much to do with it; she just has a winning combination of business and marketing savvy, creativity and great recipes.) Not only have I used her yummy, delicious, all-natural products (OK so she sent me a box after the storm and I fell in love), but Natalie has become one of my dearest friends–truly a kindred spirit, for whom I also co-write at her site, Visionary Womanhood.
Apple Valley Natural Soap is the place from where you want to buy your natural skin products. You will be giddy to see the postman driving up and these treats are truly indulgent. Trust me. I know good skin stuff when I see it.
(And for some slight comic relief, having grown up in the eighties, the song by Boyz 2 Men won’t stop playing in my head…“It’s so hard, to say goodbye, to yesterday…”)
This is likely the most important post in our HOME series. As I listened to my husband read Charles Spurgeon’s devotion, these words flooded my heart and mind with the essence of what home is and why its neglect is so detrimental to all of us:
“Covetousness, discontent, and murmuring are as natural to man as thorns are to the soil. We need not sow thistles and brambles; they come up naturally enough, because they are indigenous to earth: and so, we need not teach men to complain; they complain fast enough without any education. But the precious things of the earth must be cultivated. If we would have wheat, we must plough and sow; if we want flowers, there must be the garden, and all the gardener’s care.”
We must be able to see past today, and see that the most important thing we do in the home is GROW people for tomorrow. But if it’s not deliberate and intentional and constant and continuous, then the people who grow there will default to their natural vices–weeds and sinfulness, and all that is inherent to man.
Cultivating people with the virtues we deem important and useful and good for society (and the Kingdom of God) requires that someone be devoted to the deliberate work.
We’ve been carefully brainwashed from years of feminist dogma, to believe that anyone can do the “menial” work of caring for little people, and in fact, should, so that we can do something more important. They made us focus on the diapers and potty training so we we wouldn’t see the soul-work, the intense, life-growing efforts that go alongside the physical tasks.
So we bought it, and we’ve let someone else do the physical work of raising our children, forgetting that those people aren’t willing or able to do the daily weeding out of vices, and nurturing, cultivating and growing the graces and virtues that make men and women noble, true and pure.
And that’s not all…marriages default to weeds, relationships default to weeds, our own spiritual natures will default if there isn’t a careful, constant effort…the deliberate growing at home of marriages, families, and people who reflect God’s grace, not the neglected garden of the sluggard.
Neglected homes yield brambles and thorns. We desperately need fruitfulness that comes from careful, faithful labor. God help us to see how menial all our other tasks are in comparison to growing home.
Part 1: Hope For Society Lies in Finding the Real Meaning of Home
Part 2: The True Meaning of Home Lies in Our True Identity
Part 3: The Center of Agriculture (Or Close)
Part 4: The Center of Economic Affairs
Perhaps one of the most tragically overlooked purposes of the home is that of the very gospel—making disciples. John Piper, in This Momentary Marriage, speaks pointedly to this important function of marriage and home:
“Marriage Is Meant for Making Children . . . Disciples of Jesus
There is a double meaning in that title that I hope will help you remember the point. Marriage is for making children—that is, procreation. Having babies. This is not the main meaning of marriage. But it is an important one and a biblical one. But then I add the words disciples of Jesus. Marriage is for making children into disciples of Jesus. Here the focus shifts. This purpose of marriage is not merely to add more bodies to the planet. The point is to increase the number of followers of Jesus on the planet.”
I’ve written many times on this subject because I can’t think of a whole lot more important, more world-changing, than a parent’s command to disciple his children. “Let the children come and do not forbid them, for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven”, Jesus rebuked even His own disciples.
How do we disciple?
(From the beginning of time until only a few hundred years ago, it was ludicrous to think children could adequately prepare for life (much less be discipled) by spending most of their day with peers or anyone else besides the older generation; it was considered the only logical setting in which to pass down the wisdom and education that prepares for life.)
What Did Jesus Do?
We, in essence, follow our perfect example. He walked, and talked, and taught, and lived and prayed and was always about His father’s business and all of it was pure discipleship. And His few, close disciples went on to start a fire that changed the world. That’s our goal.
What is evangelism if it doesn’t start with being faithful to fervently disciple our own children? Home: the center of the gospel that grows and burns and spills out to the world.
Part 1: Hope For Society Lies in Finding the Real Meaning of Home
Part 2: The True Meaning of Home Lies in Our True Identity
Part 3: The Center of Agriculture (Or Close)
Part 4: The Center of Economic Affairs
Part 5: The Center of Educaton
Taking from the article that prompted this series, the third function of home mentioned is “education”.
This is a timely post as I have just begun reading Restoring America One County at a Time by Joel McDurmon (also available in Kindle).This might be one of the most important books of our generation. Go get it now.
There are too many reasons to list in a post why the home should be the center of education (which doesn’t necessarily mean homeschooling; it could mean the parents choosing private education, the point being that parents have complete authority and jurisdiction over who educates their children).
In light of the angle I’m reading from this book and its current relevance to our threatened loss of freedom, let me just focus on a few of those aspects.
Once Upon a Time
Until around the 1830’s, people understood the importance of freedom in education and contrary to what some believe, literacy rates were extremely high. Parents took responsibility for educating their children (and more importantly, helping them to become self-educators) and/or found someone they trusted to assist them.
As we have given that responsibility over to the state, we have had our freedoms slowly eroded and only we are to blame. The “free” education isn’t free at all, and whatever government funds, government controls; including our children.
Benefits
When home is the center of education, and especially where home-education is embraced, a myriad of benefits are available. (See related posts at the bottom of this post for additional thoughts.)
There has never been an easier time to take back education as now, with technology offering everything under the sun, even to the most intimidated parent. (As the article below explains, we don’t need “experts” to teach them facts; we’re already living in the information age. Our primary focus should be simply teaching our children how to use, process and communicate information that is readily available.)
But far more than academics, parents are better able to transfer their values (this is what the state is trying to avoid), strengthen their character and let them flourish in whatever areas they are gifted when they take control of their child’s education. (Think Outside the Classroom)
In my experience, this has been the biggest challenge AND the biggest blessing of choosing to come home. Education is life, and is much bigger than a classroom. My heart longs to see families embrace the blessing of this privilege–not without sacrifice, but still a privilege within most everyone’s reach. And I’m willing to speak on this hottest of topics (and take the heat) not because I want to “force my choices” on other people but because I believe, with all that is in me, that this is the best for parents and children who long to delight themselves in the law of the Lord. That He has given us what we need to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and that a nation is blessed whose God is the Lord, including the Lord of our education.
(Actually, and I don’t have time to expand on it here, a “free market education” would be better for all of society, Christian or otherwise, if we can ever become convinced and demand it. But it first requires us to refuse the socialist form of education we now receive so happily.)
Freedom
And I long to see the far-reaching benefits of such taking back of our educational responsibility. As McDurmon said,
“Do we really want a free society…? This [education] is priority number one. If we are serious about freedom, we have to start with education. If we can’t accomplish change in this one area, then forget the rest. Nothing about truly restoring America will be easier or more readily obtainable than taking free control over your family’s education. There’s nothing stopping us here.”
Are there obstacles? Probably. But there is little worth fighting for to overcome those obstacles more important than our children. I get obstacles. We have fought through many of them so I’m not speaking from a place that doesn’t touch me.
As home becomes the center of education, our minds begin to shift because we now hold responsibility again, and that’s big. It’s big in more ways than, “can we teach math?” They become ours, wholly, to educate as a person, to shape, form and prepare for all of life. We begin, again, to invest in ways we didn’t even have time for before. Most of our hurdles are psychological. But the effort to jump over them is worth it a hundred times over.
I think you’ll love this article too: Conventional Education Will Go the Way of Farming
“What schooling is for many is a 12- or 16-year sentence wherein young people are penned up, talked at, cajoled, quizzed, and tested, for the most part on facts and figures that can now be retrieved in seconds with a handheld device….”A true bubble is when something is overvalued and intensely believed,” says Thiel. “Education may be the only thing people still believe in in the United States. To question education is really dangerous. It is the absolute taboo. It’s like telling the world there’s no Santa Claus….Yes, the facts and figures are a click away. The ability to use, understand, and communicate those facts is what must be taught and currently is not. And it doesn’t take an army of 8 million and a budget of 1 trillion dollars and counting to do it.“
Part 1: Hope For Society Lies in Finding the Real Meaning of Home
Part 2: The True Meaning of Home Lies in Our True Identity
Part 3: The Center of Agriculture (Or Close)
Part 4: The Center of Economic Affairs
Part 6: Home, The Center of Making Disciples
I’ve written extensively here about the economic advantages of a woman who well-manages her home.
I’ve discussed the hidden costs of working outside the home, earning money from home, family economy, cutting the grocery budget, paying off debt, and a bit about our own personal journey of my leaving work to come home. One of my first ebooks, which now helps supplement our income, spawned from one of the darkest times in our lives.
For this post, I’d like to do more of an ‘inspiration overview’ of what it looks like when the home is the center of economic affairs, one of the characteristics of home that began this series, and how a woman, together with her family, can live life with home as the source, not the sacrifice of it all.
We’re One Family
Understanding the economic dynamics of a healthy family is crucial to even begin working toward the goal. First, members must all see themselves contributing to one “purse”. It’s not my money, his money, their money–though saving for personal goals has its place, but for the basic functioning of home life, we are a family and we all work together to that end.
Children’s Part
So all should work together to save and to earn, to use money wisely and to be resourceful. It is my opinion that children should be involved, not shielded from the monetary responsibilities of running a household. They should grow up with a good sense of what bills look like and understand the cost of living. The earlier they learn the “work for pay” model, the better prepared they will be for real life. (This, as opposed to simply getting an allowance.)
While children shouldn’t necessarily be required to contribute directly to the paying of bills, they should be required to be good stewards of utilities and the consumable comforts of home. A pattern of wastefulness may be countered with monetary consequences until he learns the value of resourcefulness.
Multiple Streams of Income
Kevin Swanson calls his family a “seven-income household”. In a typical, American home, the children are largely financial liabilities, with parents spending to provide them with many wants and desires outside of what is reasonable. Giving gifts is a good thing; going bankrupt to help your children keep up with the neighbors is not…not for a family and not for the child.
We encourage our children to find ways to make money to spend on items they want. But occasionally, they also offer to pay for their part if we eat out or chip in on something the family is saving for, etc. It’s only logical that we should be helping them develop healthy saving and spending habits. I think it’s safe to say that a poor practice of financial control by individuals has morphed into one of our nation’s biggest problems.
As children get older, it is reasonable that the family would benefit from everyone’s income–if everyone eats, uses electricity, enjoys vacations, etc., why shouldn’t everyone pitch in? It’s counter-culture, perhaps, but something families of the past understood made it all work.
Time = Money.
Frankly, the more time we have, the more money we can save and/or earn, which is an important aspect of having a manager at home. She can use all the powers of her mind and all the facets of her gifts and abilities to reuse, create, produce and multiply her resources. We may think of a woman coming home as “reducing to a one-income family”, but a woman who understands her potential can continue creative income-earning opportunities in addition to saving and stretching the money they make.
God Blesses Family Economics
I have lived through turbulent economic crises, we have been the scorn of those wondering why we would be so “irresponsible” to have children on such a tight budget, we have been to the desperate place of, “What are we going to do?” and I have seen God do the unthinkable and miraculous on our behalf. He is a faithful Father, and though hardship can and will come, I have never seen Him forsake the righteous.
When we give to Him what is His, He promises to take care of our needs and I think we need a grass-roots return to that fundamental truth in a way that causes us to live out our faith in shoe leather.
And beyond His provision, I believe He wants our homes to be beacons, even financially, providing enough even to always be ready and willing to extend our hands to the needy around us.
“Father, help us to resist the fear and temptation around us to forsake Your promises for what the world tries to offer. May we be good stewards, wise, resourceful, creative, and above all, acknowledging that it all belongs to You.”
Part 1: Hope For Society Lies in Finding the Real Meaning of Home
Part 2: The True Meaning of Home Lies in Our True Identity
Part 3: Home, The Center of Agriculture (Or Close)
Part 5: Home, The Center of Education
Seeing “home” as it should be seen, not as it has come to be viewed by society (i.e. “house”, place where people sleep, place where our stuff is kept…) requires us to peel back the layers and look at all the elements that once more clearly defined “home”.
In the article that prompted this series, Pastor Wedgeworth said,
“The home used to be a center of agriculture, economic affairs, and education. For the woman to be a “homemaker” was to be an executive over the central nervous system of society. It was to be a master of arts. It was to be a farmer. It was to be a maker. It was to be a temple, a sacrament, a superlative.”
So I wanted to walk through these, one at a time. (Stay tuned for the conclusion where “agriculture” may mean something different from just growing your own food.)
Agriculture
Certainly this is an area where largely, and for many reasons, home ceases to flourish. It is my opinion, that when home WAS the center of agriculture, it naturally solved other problems.
Unity & Purpose
Agriculture forces a family to work together for their livelihood. It brings worth to each member of the family, and satisfaction in the accomplishment of surviving together.
Faith
But more than that, nothing creates a dependency on God more than trusting Him to provide “our daily bread”. The beautiful, visual analogy of seeds being planted, then dying, then bringing forth fruit is important for our faith.
Work Ethic
Nothing builds work ethic quite like farming where our survival rests in the extent of our responsibilities and perseverance. A much-needed and missed trait among this generation (and a few back).
Hospitality/Charity
Whenever I read, from Proverbs 31, “She reaches her hand to the needy”, I picture a woman who is ready and equipped, practically speaking, to meet the needs and opportunities that come her way. Having a “storehouse” of food (which one can do whether they farm or not) is one way our homes become centers of agriculture. Whether we grow it ourselves or “bring it from afar”, we are to manage our homes in such a way to prepare us to minister to the needs around us. Books have been written on the subject, but I offer the brief reminder here.
Health
Then there’s an entire aspect of health and nutrition, which prevents illness and saves a family money on doctor’s and prescription bills.
But for many reasons, agriculture is no longer feasible for families. So what to do? Can we capitalize on any of these benefits living in a suburban home?
I think we should try! Here are a few suggestions…maybe you have some?
If Growing Your Food Isn’t an Option
And if none of these are options to you, remember the heart of it and start at the beginning. We’ve gone from growing our own food to not recognizing the harm of pre-packaged food (or how to circumvent it). Producing your own food may be, for some of you, learning to make more things from scratch. Recovering some basic, healthy habits in the kitchen is a GREAT place to start with agriculture. Learn to make your own bread, pancake and/or dessert mixes, salad dressings, pizza sauce, spaghetti sauce, white sauces (instead of can cream soups), etc. Just these small changes can save you money and are healthier. Don’t forget the importance of passing these basic skills to your children too!
Part 1: Hope For Society Lies in Finding the Real Meaning of Home
In the introduction to this series about “the hope for society lying in the real meaning of home”, a commenter “clarified” that Jesus is the Hope for society.
Yes! And the two, actually, are not exclusive. Listening to a sermon today brought a profound epiphany that perfectly explains:
What Jesus did for us was offer us the chance to become new creatures. THE MOST IMPORTANT part of that, as it relates to the way we live, is that our identity is found in Him.
Wait before you just casually pass that by…it’s packed with more meaning than you might realize.
In Genesis, God declared man’s identity: “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness”. This is huge! Our purpose for living is to mirror His glory in all we do. Even those who aren’t His reflect His attributes at times.
But for the believer, we must know that our purpose is to fulfill the mission of reflecting our Creator in every part of life. This is why we were created.
“Our identity determines our life course.” (Mark Driscoll)
So, as that relates to the purpose of this series, our lives, our homes, reflect whether we understand who we are in Christ.
We are living in a culture where, even those who claim Christ, have traded their true identity for trying to find it in the worship of idols. Idols of consumerism, idols of self-worth, of people, of recreation–looking to achieve their identity rather than understanding they have already received it.
This is what has propelled every rebellion under the sun. A refusal to accept the design of our Creator, to obey Him, to fulfill His purposes for us, to find our worth in our created place. It started in the garden, with a desire to “be something more” than they already were. They were blessed. And it wasn’t enough.
So how do we reflect God’s image in our homes, families, marriages? What does it look like to mirror His likeness in all we do?
These are primarily spiritual aspects but it must begin there. (We’ll begin to talk about practical implications in the next post.) Right thinking about who we are, what our purpose is and how that affects our lives and homes is crucial.
We live in a culture with mostly wrong thinking. Renewing is in order and a set of blinders, with a face like flint, set to the Son will aid our mission.
“Homes are the springs among the hills, whose many streamlets, uniting, form like a great river, society, the community, the nation, the Church. If the springs run low the rivers waste; if they pour out bounteous currents the rivers are full. If the springs are pure the rivers are clear like crystal; if they are foul the rivers are defiled. A Curse upon homes sends a poisoning blight everywhere; a blessing sends healing and new life into every channel.” -JR Miller, The Family
In my last post, Feminism: The Real War Against Women, I quoted an article in which one line has stuck with me and encapsulates so much truth:
“For the woman to be a ‘homemaker’ was to be an executive over the central nervous system of society.”
Pastor Wedgeworth goes on to say,
“The home used to be the place of oikonomia. As it lost that function, the notion that anyone would be stuck there became torment.”
That’s really it.
When a woman says, “I’m a homemaker“, most who hear her think, “laundry, cleaning toilets, changing diapers (which someone else could do just as well).”
Which is why if a young woman exiting high school answers the “What are you going to do?” question with, “Prepare for my profession as a homemaker”, her answer is received with shock and dismay.
Because we don’t understand home, much less what a “homemaker” should be.
Ponder the term…“The central nervous system of society.” (I like it even better than the overused and trite, “basic building block.”)
What happens when one’s nervous system is damaged? It’s the worse injury possible to a human body, and the most likely to result in death.
But remove the “executor”–perhaps we could compare her to the nerves making it all happen–of the CNS, and what we have is a very dysfunctional and disabled body, a dysfunctional and disabled society.
Yes, there are many, many noble careers and professions. But to hail any more useful than the profession of “executor of the central nervous system of society” is to harm ourselves on a large, devastating scale, and to miss the most profound way to influence the world.
What is home, really? A lot. Too much for one post.
So I would like to, over the next few posts, unpack the details of what Wedgeworth meant:
“The home used to be a center of agriculture, economic affairs, and education….It was to be a master of arts. It was to be a farmer. It was to be a maker. It was to be a temple, a sacrament, a superlative.”
I hope you’ll join me because, as he ends his article, “Gone are the days when things can be decided by force. …We have to do it a different way. We must persuade. Indeed, we must woo.”
Though feminism has been touted as “all about protecting women”, feminism has killed more women than the holocaust and all other wars put together. Feminism has brought a steady increase in violent crimes against women. Feminism has attempted to stamp out the importance of motherhood, mothers raising their children and the stability of home life, evidenced in an ever-increasing cycle of individual break down, marital breakdown, family breakdown and societal breakdown.
And we’re happy about this?
And now, still not content with the damage they’ve done, we’re on the brink of erasing all protective measures of our women in the military. Because seeing our daughters drafted to war one day would be the final triumph and ultimate celebration. (*sarcasm)
In Sweden, you can send your child to a gender-free preschool so he, I’m sorry, so “your child” can be de-brainwashed from the “dangerous indoctrination” that there is a difference between male and female.
A mom of a preschooler in NY is outraged because her son’s teacher encourages “gentlemanly” behavior, specifically, encouraging boys to let girls go first. “This adorable little boy, who is only beginning to learn the ways of the world, just got his first lesson in sexism…” Without even defending why I think she’s wrong, here’s a tip: if you aren’t willing to teach your own son what you want him to learn about the world, don’t complain about his teacher’s worldview.
If feminism ever had, somewhere within its core, a sincere desire to protect women and prevent abuses (and I think some at least thought that was what they were fighting for), it has gone badly awry, scoffed at the Creator in the most disgusting way, and we are reaping the judgement of our own foolishness. While I’m not naive to the real abuses women have suffered, the feminist answer was the wrong one.
Steven Wedgeworth, in Women at War said something profound–something of which we must ALL remember and remind ourselves:
“We need to make this message plain: Feminism is chauvinism. It shares the belief that traditional “women’s roles” are undesirable and second best. As such, it seeks to make women as much like men as possible. The irony in all of this is that it is almost always a step down….It should also be obvious that this means a net loss for humanity. (Emphasis mine.) Whereas we previously had more, man and woman, we now have less, man and man-aping woman.”
and, this is key:
“The home used to be a center of agriculture, economic affairs, and education. For the woman to be a “homemaker” was to be an executive over the central nervous system of society. It was to be a master of arts. It was to be a farmer. It was to be a maker. It was to be a temple, a sacrament, a superlative. Perhaps I’m idealizing things a bit, as the past could indeed be quite dull and gloomy for all genders. Still, I don’t think I’m saying anything that Dorothy Sayers didn’t already say. The home used to be the place of oikonomia. As it lost that function, the notion that anyone would be stuck there became torment. To combat self-alienation, we’ve got to recover a true sense of “the home.” In what ways can it be that place of central affairs today, or perhaps more importantly, what analogous locations (and vocations) can we emphasize as especially important for “home” life?”
Our view of home changed our view of women. The true view of women never needed to be defended. We only needed to go back to the original design, glory in our created differences, and let the Creator, who knows how to best run His universe, tell us what is best for us.
“To win the war against women, we have to prioritize women.”
Home must be revived and restored to mean more than “a place people sleep and sometimes eat.” We must persuade the masses, again, that shaping the next generation is a pretty big deal and needs a full time, devoted, intelligent, powerful, wise mother to do the job. We must find and relish our real power–that the Lord has given us–for ruling the world.
Also, don’t miss this excellent article, by Col. John Ripley. on The Assignment of Women in the Armed Forces.
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