Principle.
“Question:
A woman who is divorced, has 5 children by different fathers, drains everyone around her financially and physically, finds herself pregnant again. The baby is born, and the doctor asks…’Do you want to get your tubes tied?” How many of you would scream “YES!–Given this circumstance, that’s the best thing.’ “
Or is it? It’s not about birth control…it’s about a principle of allowing immorality.
Principle. A generally regarded truth or law from which comes the basis of our reasoning. (Doing the right thing, regardless of circumstances.)
We used to be a people, a nation of principle. Even those who did not proclaim the Lord lived by a certain order of principle.
I’m not talking about opinions, or personal convictions…I’m talking about a recognition that there is, within the universe, a law of truth and right. And holding to that truth even when the circumstances aren’t convenient.
Yes, we used to be a nation of principle. But we are fast becoming a nation of relativism. And let me tell you, THIS MATTERS.
People of principle know how to do the hard thing. Relativism gives me an “out” in just about every situation. But relativism destroys the very foundations of truth…and when truth is destroyed, we become a people of anarchy.
Making personal decisions based on one’s circumstances is fine and necessary, but it has boundaries of right and wrong.
Remove the boundaries, and we have a society full of people who make the rules up as they go–usually to their own beneift–which is a simple definition of relativism. There is no longer an undergirding principle, a standard of right and wrong against which we can hold up our actions and measure them.
You can see this phenomenon especially in the homosexual movement. When society held the principle (based on Scripture, as any true principle is) that homosexuality violates the basic structure of marriage and is a harmful institution, then to practice homosexuality was sodomy, just as the Bible declares it.
But along comes “freedom”…and the distorted definitions of freedom said “to each his own”.
Little by little, when principle is removed, it erodes every security, every foundation, and every brace that holds up a people.
When we make decisions based on only what seems to best fit a circumstance, regardless of the violation of a basic principle, we unleash a tidal wave of disaster.
On a large scale, we see things like a whole society accepting abortion as a viable means to end a life. Next, we end up discussing whether euthansia is acceptable. (Killing people who are either sick, maimed, or debilitated in some way.) What happens after that? Who decides how “valuable” a person is to society? At what point will we order the execution of a person if he can no longer contribute to the state’s economy? Don’t think it too far-fetched. Would our fore-fathers ever have imagined Roe vs. Wade?
But on a smaller scale…this is what sends me over the top. We (Christians, generally speaking) want to see the above mentioned things dissappear, not realizing that we could be guilty of contributing to the slippery slope that got us there.
Question:
A woman who is divorced, has 5 children by different fathers, drains everyone around her financially and physically, finds herself pregnant again.
The baby is born, and the doctor asks…”Do you want to get your tubes tied?”
How many of you would scream “YES!–Given this circumstance, that’s the best thing.”
That’s an example of relativism. See, the issue is not getting her tubes tied. The issue is that we are really saying she should be allowed to live immorally without any consequences. Is that OK? In any situation?
Oh it’s the easiest thing, it’s even the logical thing. But is it the right thing?
Let’s apply the same reasoning to another situation.
A man is behind on his bills and can’t keep a job. His family needs food, so he decides to break into your house, steal your money and buy food for his family. So, since this is a special circumstance (his family is hungry, after all), everyone agrees that you should turn off your burglar alarm to allow him access without getting caught.
Well? Why not?
Because we still hold to a princple that stealing is wrong–no matter what.
But in the earlier scenario, we can see that people no longer really hold a strict view of immorality. They are willing to turn their head to her “personal decision”. It’s only when it affects me that I become more concerned with principle.
This is a deep one. But I keep running into these situations where I hear Christians falling into “spiritual relativism”, and it is disturbing.
What do you think?
21 comments
This reminds me a little of the question about a Christian harboring Jews in Nazi Germany, and the Nazis come to the door and demand to know if there are Jews in the house. Does the Christian lie?
When considering the single mom who is pregnant a 6th time, my first thought is, “What business does this woman have being sexually active outside of marriage?! She needs to learn self-control!”
Are self-control and self-preservation (like the stealing father) similar? I tend to be a black/white kind of person. Sin is sin, I don’t care where you’re from. But, what is our responsibility when it comes to SELF-preservation?
Tough questions you’ve raised (and obviously caused me to raise!). We need to each one give account to God for what we individually did with the light God gives us. And, we need to do our best to help others see the light.
I so appreciate your blog, Kelly, because YOU are a light for Him.
I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE your scripture songs CD and play it all the time! I wish you would make another one. You are very talented.
Valerie
I’m so thankful I don’t have to decide these things for others!! These are tough choices, honest to goodness. I can’t say that bearing kids out of wedlock OR birth control are good options. What to think?
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could somehow be like Jesus at the well for people like this? How to do that? Any thoughts? I mean, because really, generally speaking, folks like this aren’t asking our opinions anyway.
Great post, sister! I am glad someone is disturbed by this outrageous trend. When I look at my own life and decisions, I am sometimes shocked at my mindless conformity to what the world says is okay, even when it comes to moral relativism and even when it comes to Christian values! We must remember that the truth does not have an expiration date…culture changes, trends change, technology changes and God’s word never changes. We must battle every single day to maintain clarity in this sea of moral confusion, this is no joke!
Great thoughts…
I meant to bring up another familiar mistake people make in this area…
Giving their teenage daughters birth control to prevent “the inevitable”, or condoning those who do.
When we teach our children that they can sin without consequences (and we will help them!), we commit the gravest of all sins–“offending the least of these”.
(Again, be aware that these situations about birth control have nothing to do with the birth control debate; they are both addressing immorality.)
The main purpose of this post is not to bring up silly scenarios that none of us will be called to answer, but to warn us all to keep our “thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ”…to refuse spiritual relativism, and to commit to remaining “people of principle”.
Thank you Valerie! I’m so glad you’re enjoying the CD. We are praying about getting some equipment that would allow me to make another one from home…stay tuned!
As an part-time OB nurse, I see situations like this all too frequently.
Even though I tend to agree that we should be open to all the children God gives us, women like this are confirming that they have very limited self control. The children are the ones who suffer in this situation: the younger ones get ignored and the older ones try as best they can to make up; often mom’s boyfriends end up abusing(sexually, physically or both) the children and the harm just goes on and on. These women often end up so focused around their latest honey that the children fall through the cracks.
I realize that God could close her womb (and honestly I wonder why he doesn’t and open some more “deserving” woman’s). I often think it is not wrong to save women in this situation from themselves and minimize the children forever harmed but that sort of lifestyle.
Maybe that is where God gives us the knowledge to “help” people help themselves.??
J from VA
J from VA,
I know exactly what you are saying. And everything in me FEELS like saying we should sterilize the irresponsible.
This is where it is so tough–especially when one woman’s sin harms so many–namely, her children.
But if we are not very careful with our thinking, even the logical “wise” thing can be wrong.
If we do agree that an immoral woman (or man) should be sterilized to ultimately prevent harm to the innocent children, where does that reasoning stop? Ultimately, we are still dealing with the issue of “allowing” immorality/sin without consequence.
Suppose the same woman is pregnant but she has abused drugs and we know that she is about to give birth to a child with severe disabilities. Can we make the decision to abort the child, and still be upholding what is right? Even if it “saves” the child from suffering? Do you see the slippery slope?
I’m thinking through this even as I blog! I love to challenge your thoughts while challenging my own…not a trivial pursuit, though–we’ve got to get these things settled in our minds BEFORE we encounter real situations. Don’t you agree?
Hi Kelly,
I am a frequent reader of your blog on my RSS feed. I admire your standing up for the biblical principles and guidelines that are laid out in the bible.
I have placed you on my list for an award…Blogging With A Purpose.
http://www.xanga.com/MelissaDSC/640713006/blessed-to-receive-an-award.html
You will need to sign into Xanga to see the post.
Thank you so much for your inspiring posts.
Melissa D. SC
Some of my children were born to a birthmother who was unmarried and drug addicted. Sterilize her and/or abort her babies and my precious, beautiful children, GOD’S children, would cease to be. Unthinkable!
Great post with LOTS of thought provocation.
Blessings,
~Toni~
Thank you Melissa!
The thing that worries me is who gets to decide. There are people who think that bringing children up to believe in any religion (and especially Christianity) is child abuse. If those people got into power…
Excellent post!
If you were to ask any of the hypothetical five children if they would rather that they had never been born because a “responsible” doctor had tied their mother’s tubes, do you think those children would say, “Yes, I would rather have not been born” or do you think they would say, “That’s a dumb question!”
Some of us get to live a wonderful life, in a christian home, with caring, nurturing parents who can devote a lot of time to our physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being. Others have a much more difficult path to walk. Does that mean that anyone who cannot have an ideal life should be prevented from ever existing? What about children born into poverty in Africa. I mean REAL poverty. Should they just be prevented?
God has a plan for EVERY life that he starts! Whether it be a hard life with a difficult start and miserable childhood or not. Is God not bigger than that? Can He not change hearts? Can He not put the pieces back together and use that poor child for His glory?
Just some thoughts…
Ashley
Hi, I am a child from a home not unlike the one you hypothetically described. From the child’s perspective I have to say, honestly, there have been times I wish I had never been born. As I draw closer to my Lord each year and He creates beauty from ashes in my life those times get fewer and farther between. I marvel at His redemptive work. Now I am a mother of two beautiful girls who have been raised in the home I never had. I am sure they are glad Grandma didn’t have her tubes tied. God willing there will be many generations of godly people born from this ungodly woman.
Anon,
Wow…thank you for sharing that. Our God does delight in giving beauty for ashes!
This makes one ponder the birth control question even more deeply, even outside of the “hypothetical, immoral woman” case…doesn’t it?
I know I digress going in this direction, but just yesterday we had the wonderful privilege of celebrating my husband’s grandparents’ 68th wedding anniversary.
As his “Papa” looked around at us, he said, “y’all are all why I’m still here”. And I thought to myself, “in reality, you are why WE are all here”…
My husband, and therefore my seven precious children would not exist but for his grandparents’ decision to not practice birth control–they had five children. Then go back…”Papa” was one of 12 children…it’s just mind-boggling to look back into history and see what could have been prevented, or to think ahead, or whatever–that’s why I just feel so much more peace giving it all to God!
Sorry for the tangent and the rambling!
As a child “whos mother should not have been aloud to have children” I am SOOO glad that Our Father saw past her inability to mother me and He saw my future. One with a wonderful husband 7 precious children and LIFE!!
We must always remember that no matter what, He sees the big picture… He sees the end…He sees the whole thing.
How can we judge Him and His desicion to create life? He works all things for His Glory.
My life was very hard as a child, I suffered many things a child should never suffer…but I would never give any of it back…if it meant that I would not be were I am now!
With Great Joy
Audrey
And, amen to what you said, Audrey: “How can we judge Him and His decision to create life? He works all things for His glory.”
If we really believe God is sovereign in whom He brings into the world, it doesn’t just stop at loving, two-parent families who WANT children! I often think about the “unwanted” or “unplanned-for” child maybe being the one who finds a cure for cancer. Or, becomes a great evangelist. You get the idea.
I really enjoyed thinking through this post and the comments. My in-laws believe certain people “should be fixed”. And it is such a slippery slope! I mean, they also think we should have only 3 children. So does that mean we should be fixed after number three?
I had never considered the fact that it does allow sin without consequences. What a deep thought!
I want to thank some of these ladies for sharing how God brought them through some difficult times and that even though they might have thought it for a time, they are glad they were born. Thank you!
My last comment was missing a vital word:
“I want to thank some of these ladies for sharing how God brought them through some difficult times and that even though they might NOT have thought it for a time, they are glad they were born. Thank you!”
Ooops! 🙂
I am in a sense one of those 5 children. I am the oldest actually. I was an “accident” resulting from my mother at the age of 18 behaving irresponsibly. I am the consequence of her sin. However, I know that God uses everything for His glory. I had a really hard childhood growing up. But hard is good. It helped shape me into who I am today. I lean into God so much and I never let anything rattle me because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God knows what He is doing. Why does God allow women who are completely irresponsible have babies? I don’t know but I am sure glad he did. My mother did eventually marry and with my step-father had 3 more after me and a little boy she had given up for adoption. But my mom divorced him and moved in with another man about 12 years ago. Many generational sins have been passed down to me that I have only with the grace of God been able to break.
We are not to be the ones to decide who should and should not have children, only God. Now, my siblings are following in my mother’s footsteps but I pray that they will follow the Lord soon.
I think that as humans, we so often tend to look at the here and now instead of the eternal. And we look at the physical so much more often than we look at the spiritual. I pray that my testimony helps others see how important it is to not be quick to intervene before God does. I am married to a wonderful man of God and have 4 beautiful blessings that I have the privilege to homeschool and raise for the Lord. I have never once regretted being born even when it was so hard and nothing made sense.
Blessings
Mommy Reg
mommyhoodadventures.blogspot.com
I’m adopted, my brother and sister are too. I will agree that I am against abortion..but as for someone having their tubes tied or using birth control…I think that’s fine depending on how or why you use it! I think this issue has nothing to do with that…I use birth control but I’m married and it is not a sin for me to have sex with my husband, we simply are not at a time in our lives where we are ready to have children (we’re both students and quite young), however if someone is using birth control because they are not married or sleep around with different people, then of course it would be better that they abstain. But if they aren’t going to…then I think it’s better that they do use birth control. Not sure if that makes sense, obviously they are doing something they shouldnt, but if nothing can stop them then at least use protection. I guess it’s like bungee jumping…dont know about any of you but I think that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of…why jump off a perfectly good stable ground? But if you’re gonna jump…at least use a rope!!! Ok maybe that was a bad example but you get my drift.
Now abortion…that’s a whole other story. My husband and I may not be trying to get pregnant right now and use birth control, but if it were God’s will to override that and give us a child, so be it…we’d figure it out. And if it’s God’s will that we have children in a few years, that’s fine too. We’ll do our part and be responsible. And I feel the same for anyone. If someone makes a mistake and sins and a pregnancy results, give the baby up for adoption if you can’t keep him/her. I’m glad my birthmother did the same.
And if you want to ask me if I think she should have used birth control, probably. I’d rather her not have sinned in the first place, but If she did use protection and I wasn’t born…then I would not have existed and that’s ok, because she obviously didn’t and that was God’s plan that I was born. If I wasn’t born, then that would have been God’s plan. Get it? I wouldn’t know anyways. That is my standpoint on the birth control issue only…not sex outside of marriage but used with husband and wife. Abstinance is what all unmarried couples should be having but not if you’re married!!!