Author

Kelly Crawford

Hello! I’m Kelly and I’m glad you’re here. I’m a wife and mom, just like you. I get it. I know how hard the days can be, and how you might feel like you’re spinning your wheels or that no one sees or appreciates your work.

motherhood/family/parenting

How to Raise a Spoiled Child

by Kelly Crawford July 21, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

Don’t expect too much of him too young, assuring yourself that “he doesn’t understand”.

Laugh at “how cute” it is when he throws his food down from the high chair.

Comfort him when he throws a fit; at least give him the thing about which he is throwing the fit.

Make sure he gets to do/have “what everyone else does/has.”

Don’t ever make him earn money to buy things he wants.

Make excuses for him when he misbehaves. This will help him learn to blame his problems on everything or everyone else.

Wash all his dishes, make his bed, clean up after him and keep telling yourself that “childhood is just for fun–he’ll grow up later.”

And above all else, to successfully raise a spoiled child, let him think the world revolves around him, his food preferences, his recreational needs and his whims. Do whatever you have to do to keep him in the center of the universe, including but not limited to refusing any more children from God. After all, spoiling one or two is difficult (and costly) enough.

July 21, 2010 30 comments

A Mark of Regeneration: Habits of Holiness

by Kelly Crawford July 21, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

The Regenerate man is a holy man.

by J.C. Ryle

He endeavors to live according to God’s will, to do the things that please God, to avoid the things that God hates. His aim and desire is to love God with heart and soul, and mind and strength, and to love his neighbor as himself. His wish is to be continually looking to Christ as his example as well as his Savior, and to show himself Christ’s friend by doing whatever Christ commands.

No doubt he is not perfect. None will tell you that sooner than himself. He groans under the burden of indwelling corruption cleaving to him. He finds an evil principle within him constantly warring against grace, and trying to draw him away from God. But he does not consent to it, though he cannot prevent its presence.

In spite of all short-comings, the average bent and bias of his ways is holy—his doings holy—his tastes holy—and his habits holy. In spite of all his swerving and turning aside, like a ship going against a contrary wind, the general course of his life is in one direction—toward God and for God.

And though he may sometimes feel so low that he questions whether he is a Christian at all, in his calmer moments he will generally be able to say, with old John Newton, “I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world—but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.”

~ J.C. Ryle

July 21, 2010 11 comments

Uncategorized

Ask Yourself This Question if Your Children Don’t Obey

by Kelly Crawford July 20, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

I never thought I’d live to see a day where professing Christians scoff at the idea of parental authority and what has been traditionally accepted parenting methods for centuries. But as many reject authority themselves, it’s only natural that they would transmit that to their parenting.

Kevin Swanson gave a super-charged and brilliant lesson on child-training last week in Texas. The thrust of his message was, “If your children don’t obey you it’s because they don’t fear the Lord”. And he went on to ask the obvious question: “Could it be that if my children don’t fear the Lord it’s because I don’t fear the Lord?”

Be the Police Officer

To make the point, he described how silly it would be for a police officer to pull you over for speeding and give you a high-pitched tongue-lashing:

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO BE SPEEDING! I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M EVEN HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU!!!”

July 20, 2010 61 comments

christian living

First Sign of a True Christian

by Kelly Crawford July 19, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

A Regenerate man does not commit sin as a habit.

“He no longer sins with his heart and will, and whole inclination, as an unregenerate man does. There was probably a time when he did not think whether his actions were sinful or not, and never felt grieved after doing evil. There was no quarrel between him and sin—they were friends. Now he hates sin, flees from it, fights against it, counts it his greatest plague, groans under the burden of its presence, mourns when he falls under its influence, and longs to be delivered from it altogether. In one word, sin no longer pleases him, nor is even a matter of indifference—it has become the abominable thing which he hates. He cannot prevent it dwelling within him. “If he said he had no sin, there would be no truth in him” (1 John 1:8)—but he can say that he keenly abhors it, and the great desire of his soul is not to commit sin at all.

He cannot prevent bad thoughts arising within him, and shortcomings, omissions, and defects appearing, both in his words and actions. He knows, as James says, that “In many things we offend all.” (James 3:2.) But he can say truly, and as in the sight of God, that these things are a daily grief and sorrow to him, and that his whole nature does not consent unto them, as that of the unregenerate man does.

Reader, I place this mark before you. What would the Apostle say about you? Are you born of God?”

~ J.C. Ryle

July 19, 2010 7 comments

church/children's ministry large families pregnancy/birth control

Children With Disabilities-Part 2: The Christian’s Response

by Kelly Crawford July 18, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

Image from "DSALA"

Can we fully believe that children with special needs are used by God, perhaps in the profoundest of ways, to show us our deep needs and to present us with opportunities to serve “the least of these” and therefore Christ Himself? In a culture assuring us of our right to demand comfort and ease, we destroy ourselves as a people when we destroy these precious “imperfect” lives that keep us fully human. And the joke’s on the “perfect” us. Strong bodies, sound minds–yet so often spiritually depraved as a result of our bodily prosperity. As R.C. Sproul, Jr. said of his disabled daughter, “She is my spiritual better”.

Following up from Part 1 of Children With Disabilities, I thought the subject undone without a practical look at how the body of Christ should…no, MUST respond to these children and their families.

Adoption

I have been challenged to take an honest look at the subject of adoption. Most of us maintain that it is a “calling”, but sometimes I wonder how conveniently we use that word to relieve ourselves of any pressure or responsibility we might feel if we considered what is asked of all believers. Of course it’s not a reality for everyone. It doesn’t seem so for us at this very moment. But have we been open to the possibility? Have we trusted that God, if He wills, can provide in that area just like we trust Him to provide for those He gives us through the womb? Perhaps some were meant to adopt and others were meant to fund those adoptions. These are merely conversations we’re having that I think we all need to have.

Bearing Burdens

Secondly, I feel certain that helping families with special needs children is a command, inclusive in the command to share all of one another’s burdens. Frankly, the body of Christ at large seems fairly lousy at sharing one another’s burdens and the state has happily taken over that job. Will we give an account? I think so.

I’m an amateur at this conversation. Most of this post is just a random musing as I have not given this subject enough thought in the past. This would be a great time for those of you in the trenches to jump in and share what you perceive to be the most important way fellow believers can help in these situations.

Pro-Life Hypocrites

A concluding thought comes to mind about children–disabled or not–and what I believe the birth control culture within the church has done to make us “pro-life hypocrites”.

The same woman who gasped in horror at the young couple when she found out they were expecting their third child never offered a meal or a hand to relieve them. Does she really have a right, then, to flout her staunch opposition to abortion? If all the women in her church espouse this conflicting view, this young couple would be forced into an ethical corner were they to find out the Lord has blessed them with another child.

And what has this woman done to relieve the lives of the couple with a disabled child? Offered her best advice on birth control methods?

I submit that it’s time we draw a line in the sand of our own hearts. Are we truly pro-life? If so, it’s time to act like it.

July 18, 2010 42 comments

homeschooling

Friday Favorites (A Day Late!): Living Books from Beautiful Feet Books

by Kelly Crawford July 16, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

What a perfect example to demonstrate how very bad I am at scheduling anything. Schedules almost make me break out in hives, though my inward self salivates in the Daily Planner aisle.

I hope to hereby designate Fridays for sharing my favorite products with you, but as you can see, I’ve already fouled up my very first one. We returned from Texas Wednesday morning at 4 am, and I haven’t been the same since. I must have skipped a day somewhere in all that traveling 😉

But without further ado, let me tell you about some books I am crazy about! Many of you enjoy the books at Beautiful Feet Books, But if you haven’t checked them out, you must!

The brainchild of Russell and Rea Berg, Beautiful Feet Books “is committed to integrating the best works of children’s literature into all aspects of the educational curriculum by publishing noted authors and study guides that enable parents and teachers to incorporate those works easily into a comprehensive study”.

Inspired by Susan Schaffer Macaulay, Rea began to pursue “living books” to incorporate into her homeschooling but found that many of the great historical works had fallen out of print. She and her husband have resurrected some of these wonderful books and have created study guides to assist parents who wish to implement a literature-based education.

Our family just unpacked 6 great books from BFB:

Augustus Caesar’s World--Genevieve Foster
George Washington’s World–Genevieve Foster
Buffalo Bill–D’Aulaire
Abraham Lincoln–D’Aulaire
George Washington–D’Aulaire
Benjamin Franklin–D’Aulaire

My children are so attentive as we read through the living histories of these men, full of colorful illustrations and engaging narrative. Once we got a taste of reading living books for school, it was difficult, at best, to stomach a history text book.

And if you’re like me, fully knowing the benefits of “living books” but struggling to know which ones to choose, the Bergs have made that easy. I highly recommend you peruse Beautiful Feet Books and invest in your family library!

July 16, 2010 20 comments

abortion pregnancy/birth control

More Thoughts on Special Needs Children and the God Who Creates Them

by Kelly Crawford July 16, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

This thought-provoking comment comes from The Cottage Child, copied from the comment thread in part 1 of “Children With Disabilities.” She made two extremely valid points of which we need to be reminded. Thank you, Rachael.

“Another difficulty with this line of thinking, everything riding on physical perfection, is also why it’s become so incredibly expensive to have a baby period. (I realize lots of families have chosen home-birth, and I’m just going to tell you right now you’re better women than I am. 😉 )

But for those of us who are the standard ob/hospital delivery kind of gals, the pressure for endless testing (read: $$$$) begins from the minute you make the first appointment. If you are so brazen as to have children in your old age – say 37 – you’re pushed to have genetic testing sequences, amnio, multiple ultra sound screenings, and on and on and on. Politely decline most if not all, and watch the wave of contempt (I actually had a nurse roll her eyes at me) coming at you from every member of the staff. Hear the confused silence of the insurance company when you call to say “don’t pay that, they didn’t perform those tests” because many practices will attempt to bill them as a “package” for mid life pregnancies whether the tests are done or not.

Anyway, sorry for the mini-rant, but medicine itself is complicit in the obsession with “perfectly” healthy babies, with little regard for the deleterious effects much of the testing they do has on the baby (up to and including potential miscarriage), not to mention increasing the anxiety level of the mother. All presented as “so you can make the best decision for your family”. It’s more than a little creepy. I think a lot of it is dollar driven, but there’s an element to it that is trying to unravel the miracle – studied closely, the amazing part is that so many babies are born as we expect them to be.

I find it interesting that our current culture is CRAVING the hand-crafted stamp on everything right now – the imprint of the person who made an object is dear to us, it makes it special, unique,not cookie cutter or predictable. Everything, that is, except people. We can’t accept physical differences or disabilities as anything but less than the preferred standard. There’s no consideration that these differences are valuable or complimentary to us, forget beautiful, intentional even, in the sight of God. For a world bent on worshiping diversity, we don’t leave room, ultimately, for much but the superficial differences.”

July 16, 2010 30 comments

abortion pregnancy/birth control

Children With Disabilities: Perfect for Us: Part 1

by Kelly Crawford July 15, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

“It doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or a boy, just as long as it’s healthy.”

Do you have any idea how loaded, how presumptuous that statement is? And we hear it all the time. I’ve said it myself.

Translation? “Only healthy children are a blessing”. And that’s not what God’s Word says.

Do you want to see the slippery slope of a seemingly minor, yet glaring ethical error?

Countless babies with disabilities are being aborted every year. Worse than that, women are encouraged, counseled and made to believe “it’s the best thing”! And that slope keeps getting steeper.

Because now we have to answer, “what’s a disability?” Statistics show that parents abort children with an extra finger, a club foot, a facial abnormality, etc.

This is not a new idea, though. Margaret Sanger unashamedly campaigned to eradicate, through birth control, “the defective and diseased elements of humanity”.

The logical results are upon us as we put to death millions of “the least of these”. And following that we find ourselves on the brink of genetic engineering (“I already have a brown-eyed boy, I want a blue-eyed girl.”) Once we started playing God, there’s no stopping.

At The Baby Conference, R.C. Sproul, Jr. shared a raw and heartfelt message about his little girl who has “smooth brain”. She is 13, wears diapers, must be fed and needs help walking. She also has violent seizures.

Paraphrasing his story:

“Her nickname is ‘Princess Happy’, because her smile is so big when I go to her bed each morning, that her eyes are nearly shut. I reach down and scoop that baby up in my arms. “Daddy made you pancakes, Shannon.” I remember Jesus’ words…”I was hungry and you fed me…inasmuch as you did it unto the least of these, you did it unto Me.”

I look at Shannon again and I can’t believe the God of the universe would give me this opportunity to minister to Him…every day. That he would tell us ‘Unless you become like little children, you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven’, and here, Shannon is so innocent–she is my spiritual better, constantly showing me so much about the Kingdom. I beg the Lord, “Please, please don’t take her.”

We don’t just break the heart of God when we kill these little babies who are less than perfect, but we rob ourselves of perhaps the greatest means God would use to show us His Kingdom, to keep us tender, to give us opportunity to minister to Him through the least of these, to allow us to embrace the cross of suffering and show the world the very picture of His mercy on us. God’s perfect plan for us involves imperfection. He has always delighted to use the weakest among us to demonstrate the greatness of Himself.

Our culture says “avoid hardship, eliminate suffering“. We buy it, banish all sympathy for the child that will die to make a mother’s life easier, then use sympathy for ourselves to justify our heinous act.

Jesus Christ says, “Rejoice in your sufferings…”

God have mercy on us for our cruelty and ignorance.

God help us to say, “It doesn’t matter. God is sending us the perfect child.”

July 15, 2010 59 comments

christian living large families motherhood/family/parenting

Unexpected Lessons at The Baby Conference

by Kelly Crawford July 11, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

We have been in Texas at The Baby Conference this week with some dear friends if you noticed the blog was a bit quieter (well, except for the 90 something comments on the last post ;-)) I pre-scheduled some posts and have hardly been on-line! (Challenging. But very good.)

The Baby Conference was awesome and you can expect to hear some of the great things we learned over the next posts.

But today, I am processing the unexpected. Yes, there were great speakers. There were great lessons and moments of inspiration. But I cried. A LOT. I felt broken…in a good way.

I felt my deep need for humility and grace. The cry of my heart throughout the conference was, “Lord, re-make me”.

After the second night as we met back at the house where we are staying, I was standing in the kitchen telling Robin about the serious reflections I had been having and all of sudden I looked, and she was shaking her head up and down, tears streaming.

She too, had felt a deep sense of renewal and we were both surprised at our encounter with a more honest look at our own hearts and a fresh desire to give over to the Lord some of those habits and sins in our lives that “so easily beset us”. And unless you think otherwise, brokenness over sin is a good thing.

Mostly I think it was just meeting and listening to other women who possessed a grace and humility I do not. There was a constant pointing to Jesus Christ as our motivation for everything we do. I saw a clearer look at the simplicity of the gospel lived out–walking with the Lord, in humility, and allowing Him to have the glory for whatever comes to us.

The Lord showed to me child-like faith that allows us to walk steadfastly and not be moved. To know that when we trust Him with all that we are and our heart’s deepest desire is to glorify Him, we can be sure and steady as the sun, come what may.

The Baby Conference was about babies. How ironic that the Lord would use my babies–my role as a mother–to show me I must consistently seek to know Him more and love Him deeper. The Christian life doesn’t end with us. We are always making disciples. We are ever speaking to those around us of His love.

We speak poorly, or we speak beautifully.

July 11, 2010 29 comments

large families motherhood/family/parenting pregnancy/birth control

Reasons I Don’t Want to Have a Million Children

by Kelly Crawford July 8, 2010

written by Kelly Crawford

Interview between Holly Elliff and Nancy Leigh Demoss

Holly:

“And I remember vividly the day he (husband) came out of his study and said, ‘God has just given me the neatest mental picture of someday sitting on my front porch and looking out and seeing scores of children out there. And we have every temperament type represented. And we have every spiritual gift represented. And our children know how to relate to everybody in the world because they lived with all different types of people.’

And he had this wonderful vision of what it would be like and I immediately said to him, ‘Well, that’s very easy for you to say because I’m the one wearing the stretch pants for the next 20 years. And I’m sorry, but I just don’t want to go there.’ ”

And I really did not want to go there. It was a very frightening thing to me to think of taking my hands off that control in my life. And it took me about six months to work through what I believed the Bible said about that whole issue. And I became an avid student of God’s Word and just began to search the Scriptures for every reference to children, to children as a blessing, to God’s sovereignty in that area as far as opening and closing the womb and looking, honestly, for a way to avoid releasing that area in my life because my preference at that point was not to relinquish that area to the Lord.

As I did that, over and over and over, I found the same things: that God was the Creator of life, that God knew who He wanted to create, He knew what we were going to look like, He had a plan for every person–that it was all His business. It was not what I wanted to find in the Scripture, but that’s what I kept encountering. And I remember vividly one night sitting down at my kitchen table with a legal pad and a sharp pencil and making a list. And at the top of the list I wrote, “Reasons I Don’t Want To Have A Million Children.” And I began to make a list of all the objections I had to what I was seeing in God’s Word.

Everything I had on the list was rooted in selfishness. It came down to whether or not I was better at making decisions than God was. And it suddenly became very clear to me that this was a heart issue, at least in my life. It was a matter of me choosing, just like I said…God was Lord in every other aspect of my life.

We prayed through what to do with our money, we prayed through where we were to pastor. When we bought a car, it was a huge issue that we prayed about and trusted God to give us direction. But in this area it was as if we had said, ‘This area is ours to determine and we will make this decision.’ And for the very first time I was confronted with the fact that I had never really said to the Lord, ‘What is Your will?’ ”

Nancy responds:

“And really, again, we’re saying this is the fundamental issue of life, Is Jesus Lord of every area of my life? And I like the way you made that so practical because you said, ‘We went to the Lord and said, ‘Lord, what do you want us to do in this area of our lives?‘ And the fact is, you and I are not totally free until we have released ourselves, our lives, our future, our marital status, our childbearing, every aspect of our lives fully to the control of Jesus Christ. And somehow, when we come under His control, then we find that we really are free.

July 8, 2010 161 comments

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