Kelly Crawford

Well, I’ve been told it’s one of the best motherhood books and since I still read this daily devotional myself to lift me out of the trenches and completely renew my parenting perspective, I agree it’s powerful and so very needed, even if I did write it.

I have reformatted When Motherhood Feels Too Hard for easier reading (and updated the cover!) and to reintroduce it to Amazon Kindle, it’s FREE right now (on Kindle Unlimited) for a limited time.

I really want every mother I can reach to have an opportunity to read it. In the big picture, our parenting perspective changes the way we do life, and has a tremendous impact on many generations coming. That’s a pretty big deal.

So go HERE and grab it or if you’ve already read it, consider sharing this news with someone you think would be encouraged.

Also, if you read it (or already have) please take a second and leave a review–I’d be so grateful!

How has this devotional helped you specifically? I would so love to hear!

Morning bible reading–check.

Family worship–check.

Church on Sunday–check.

I think these activities are the under-girding of the Christian life and are needful and good.

But I don’t think they are the essence of teaching our children to walk daily with the Lord, to cultivate a living, breathing relationship with the Creator.

It begins with the simplest of observations:

“This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Everything points to Him and its part of our job to show them.

If I could summarize what I believe is the most important thing we do as mothers, it would be “teaching God in the moments.” That is what we are called to. And the lack of this vision is why so many mothers don’t feel the gravity of their job, and either become bored or exhausted with the “mundane.”

We get bogged down with the daily things to be done, and forget the eternal threads weaving it all together.

I also wonder if it’s why so many children grow up to have “a form of godliness” but deny any power of it.

Are we raising church-goers or disciples of Christ?

“Susie, sit at the table and eat with your mouth closed.”

Yes, but why?

Not necessarily because manners are good; why are they good? “Because the Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself, and this is one way we show love.”

“Tommy, don’t yell at your brother for knocking down your lego house.”

Yes, but why?

“Because the Bible says that a man who doesn’t have control over his own spirit is like a city with broken down walls.”

“Mary, please help your sister make up her bed.”

Yes, but why?

“Because the Bible says to serve as Jesus served.”

Sweet Mama, you have a thousand glorious moments a day to lead your children to the Creator of the Universe, giving them His directives for how to do life. Believe that your work will not return void, even if you don’t see the results right now. With God as our strength, let us seek to live it first, then teach “God in the moments” to our children.

Do you ever look around and wonder where the outstanding men and women of the younger generation are?  Do you ever read historical biographies and find the young, upright characters almost unbelievable compared to today’s youth?

We seem to be breeding a culture of mediocrity.  Young people who lack that kind of fortitude and character capable of weathering any storm.  I’m appalled these days at how many reports I hear of men losing their jobs and suffering hardship and reacting to that hardship by murdering their families and then committing suicide….men who simply haven’t been equipped to withstand the storm.

And then there’s the dilemma I’ve heard circulating among companies and employers:  the immense dearth of employees who are faithful, hard-working and EXCELLENT at their jobs.

Where are they?  What have we done?

Our Sunday night Bible study has been studying Daniel for the past several weeks.  I think every family should delve into the life and story of Daniel.

Daniel was very young when he went into the service for the king.  The king was a wicked and harsh man and Daniel exhibited excellence of character at every turn.  Read through that book with new eyes.

When it’s all said and done, this is what we really want for our kids–to launch them out, even among a godless culture, and see them stand firm and hold fast, no matter the cost.

A friend recently shared with me how her two homeschool-graduate sons were doing in their classes at college.  She humbly expressed gratitude that their professors seemed to be overwhelmed with their character, introducing them to colleagues at every chance, and in general, praising them for their diligence in their work and their outstanding communication skills.  It’s as if they’ve discovered a rare treasure among their students.

“Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before obscure men.”  Proverbs 22:29

How do parents raise children to be “skilled in his work?”  Excellent? Resilient? (Bear in mind the “excellence” I’m describing here is not arrogance but diligence, and the portrayal of godly character.)

It starts right at the beginning, just like everything else.  And it involves intensity of effort on our parts.  (Anything good requires intense effort!)  Here are a few things I thought of that would help us raise children of excellent character:

• Give them responsibility as early as possible, and praise their efforts.  As soon as a baby can walk, he can begin to help.  Let him know that his help is valuable–picking up a block, throwing a piece of trash away, etc.  Increase that work according to ability.

• Hold up examples of excellence.  Again I say, read great biographies–these are great tools for “showing” your children what godly character looks like, and how a life is blessed by excellence of character. Great, inspirational movies are also a good tool.

• Model it.  We can’t miss the obvious.  How do you respond to life situations?  Are you honest?  Level-headed?  Do you go to the Bible for insight in handling situations?

• Don’t say “YES” to everything.  Parents have the grave misconception that to love them is to give them everything and not to deny their every want.  I submit this can be detrimental to a child’s character.  Of course we enjoy giving good gifts to our children, but they also need to learn to be content and to see us exercising wisdom as we make choices.

• Teach them the Word of God.  Another obvious one, but how many of today’s youth are really being saturated with the instruction of Scripture?  Do they know what the Bible says about how to handle situations?  It’s more than attending church on Sundays too.  It’s daily implanting the Word in their hearts “when we rise up, when we lie down, when we sit in our house, and when we walk by the way.”
• And a bonus: let them fail without running to their rescue or shaming them. Both extremes are harmful. Experience is a great teacher. Sometimes our best response might be something like: “I’m sorry about ____. I know you’ll figure it out. Consequences can be hard.”

Can I just say it again…it’s WORK!!!!  And that is exactly what we have been called to.   Roll up those sleeves 😉

It’s no secret…if you have children at home, especially if they’re together all day, you deal with a certain amount of wrong attitudes and strife.  (If you don’t, email me please.)

For me, this is probably THE hardest part of our daily struggles.  It seems I never know quite how to handle it.  Sometimes I think it best to let them settle  minor disputes instead of refereeing every incident.  But other times I feel it an important part of teaching proper responses and right attitudes.

Ironically, homeschooling is socialization at its best. My children are friends, for sure.  Most of the time they are pleasant with one another.  But not always.  And while we know strife is a part of life, we do not just accept it as “normal”.  We strive toward “esteeming others better than ourselves”, even if it means starting over each day.  I don’t think parents are one bit naive to expect and continue to teach their children to demonstrate honor and love to one another.  I think we are doing a poor job to just accept anything else.

But how to deal with it?  That one escapes me.

Today brought one of those challenges.  The temptation is to want to shout, “Just be nice to each other!”  Because our temptation is to simply make our lives comfortable. But since my job is to build people, that response isn’t a very good one.

So as I sat with two of my children, looked at them, and sighed.

“I don’t know what to say.”  (How’s that for a stroke of mother-genius?)

I tried to bring them both to a place of understanding, regardless of who instigated the dispute.  First I just let them talk and discuss their complaints.  I then tried to explain to my 13-year-old son why it might be possible that his sister snapped at him for no apparent reason, that something changes in girls, and hormones happen, and it’s hard to explain, (and he’s looking at me  like, “Mom, are you making this up?”)

Then, to my daughter I sympathize that she’s having a bad day but remind her that hormones are no excuse for sin (and remind myself too).

I tell them both, “I can’t make you exemplify Christ.  I can’t make you love each other.  You have to pray for a heart that desires that, and for power to demonstrate it.  But I CAN tell you what  the Bible says about how we should treat each other.  I can tell you that  a kind word and tone will go a long way toward building a loving relationship.  Being kind is a choice you have to make, and it will largely determine the atmosphere of our home.”

As I had opportunity, I pulled each one aside separately and encouraged them a bit more.  I suggested to “the offended” that he should find something nice to do for his sister.  So he sneaked off and completed one of her chores for her.

By the evening, they were hugging and laughing and I smiled…“This is hard work, yes…but it’s worth it.”